Met girl on meetup, how to proceed now?

[Juanto]

Met a HB yesterday on a 10 people meetup, talked a bit with her but nothing special since we were always surrounded by everyone else so I couldnt also get her number without everyone else seeing it ( i know, an experienced DJ would have taken it anyway).
The next meetup of this group should only take place in 2 weeks (assuming she will go again) so should I just wait for it or message her on facebook on 2/3 days time asking her out for coffee?

 

[imported]

Meetups are terrible for developing plates. Messaging her on FB will come off as creepy. Don't do anything or think about it. 2 weeks later if you happen to see her again then you can try but don't be thinking if she'll show up.

 

[Juanto]

Meetups are terrible for developing plates. Messaging her on FB will come off as creepy. Don't do anything or think about it. 2 weeks later if you happen to see her again then you can try but don't be thinking if she'll show up.

Thanks dude

 

[Tenacity]

Meetups are terrible for developing plates.

No they are not.

Messaging her on FB will come off as creepy.

No it will not.

Met a HB yesterday on a 10 people meetup, talked a bit with her but nothing special since we were always surrounded by everyone else so I couldnt also get her number without everyone else seeing it ( i know, an experienced DJ would have taken it anyway).
The next meetup of this group should only take place in 2 weeks (assuming she will go again) so should I just wait for it or message her on facebook on 2/3 days time asking her out for coffee?

You should develop your Personality to where everything flows from you naturally without calculation.

You should be having a good convo with her AND others in the group, when you see a girl you like you should be able to naturally flirt with her and if she's "feeling it"....she would have no issues with the escalation. If she's not "feeling it", well, keep it civil/cool/social because she's still a part of your social group. Stop over-thinking shyt and stop with the calculation shyt....just develop your Personality to where you can have a natural, good, convo with ANYBODY and when you run across chicks you like just add in a natural flirty over-tone to it.

Either they find you attractive or not. Either they want to move forward or not.

Right now you don't need to focus on any one particular girl, you need to focus on talking to multiple women at one time to break out of your shell.

 

[Juanto]

No they are not.



No it will not.



You should develop your Personality to where everything flows from you naturally without calculation.

You should be having a good convo with her AND others in the group, when you see a girl you like you should be able to naturally flirt with her and if she's "feeling it"....she would have no issues with the escalation. If she's not "feeling it", well, keep it civil/cool/social because she's still a part of your social group. Stop over-thinking shyt and stop with the calculation shyt....just develop your Personality to where you can have a natural, good, convo with ANYBODY and when you run across chicks you like just add in a natural flirty over-tone to it.

Either they find you attractive or not. Either they want to move forward or not.

Right now you don't need to focus on any one particular girl, you need to focus on talking to multiple women at one time to break out of your shell.

Good points Tenacity. I didnt focus on her or anyone else during the evening, but I did find her attractive. Only thing I would say Is that it Is probably better just to wait for the next meetup and if she does come again, see how it goes without any pressure. Just have to make it natural on me to escalate with a girl that will either get me on a date on the spot or her getting my phone number

 

[imported]

No they are not.



No it will not.

Good points Tenacity. I didnt focus on her or anyone else during the evening, but I did find her attractive. Only thing I would say Is that it Is probably better just to wait for the next meetup and if she does come again, see how it goes without any pressure. Just have to make it natural on me to escalate with a girl that will either get me on a date on the spot or her getting my phone number

Think about it from her end. She goes to a meetup to make friends and then get's a facebook message from a guy she doesn't really know and didn't really talk with. Unless she has a love at first sight moment with you then she's not going to want an unsolicited message from you. If you send a FB message then it might put her off from going again, or even worse she'll mention it to someone else and it'll look bad on you. Unless you got her number (I'm assuming you didn't since you mentioned FB message not text) then don't message her.

Meetups are bad because most of the girls are ugly and undateable and there are too many people around, also it's difficult to turn it into 'pickup' mode when there is so much 'friends-mode'. If things go south (or you she turns you down) then it will have social issues, you may never be able to go to that meetup again. It's not like hitting on a random girl at a bar or grocery store.

Next time if she shows up then flirt a little and get the number then ask her out and make it clear that it's just you two by ending with "okay then, it's a date!".

 

[marmel75]

You do the same thing you would as any other woman.

You say "Hey, I'm not one for really messaging back and forth endlessly. I'd like to grab a drink with you and talk more in person. When are you free to do that?"

It's simple. It's direct, it saves LOTS of time and energy if the woman doesn't want to meet. It will get you laid a LOT, because 90% of the dudes are too afraid or too timid to do this because they are afraid of being rejected.

Again, too many guys in this situation want to sit there and talk to the woman for a month before trying to set anything up. Don't be this dude. Never put much importance on any one woman. Put importance on the process and following it religiously. Once you start doing this enough it will become almost like a "cookie cutter" and you will almost know beforehand whether the woman will meet up with you or not. Then once in date its up to you to perform. You should be hitting a minimum goal of banging 1 in 3 chicks that meet up with you, and once you become really good in date closer to 1 in 2.

And as always, don't sit here and fixate on this chick, go ask 5 or 6 or 7 more chicks out a day and you will be swimming in pvssy faster than you can blink. It will get to the point you will have to start limiting your dates because your d!ck will be so sore from all the fvcking you are doing.

 

[dustmuffin]

Meet ups has a messaging app built into their software. I would send a message to her on that and ask her out. Be direct, don't screw around. A im on fb wouldn't be bad either.

I have used meet ups in the past and had good luck with it. @marmel75 has good advice too. Take it.

 

[Juanto]

Think about it from her end. She goes to a meetup to make friends and then get's a facebook message from a guy she doesn't really know and didn't really talk with. Unless she has a love at first sight moment with you then she's not going to want an unsolicited message from you. If you send a FB message then it might put her off from going again, or even worse she'll mention it to someone else and it'll look bad on you. Unless you got her number (I'm assuming you didn't since you mentioned FB message not text) then don't message her.

No, I did not get her number

Meetups are bad because most of the girls are ugly and undateable and there are too many people around, also it's difficult to turn it into 'pickup' mode when there is so much 'friends-mode'. If things go south (or you she turns you down) then it will have social issues, you may never be able to go to that meetup again. It's not like hitting on a random girl at a bar or grocery store.

Maybe I was lucky yesterday but at least 3 girls looked very nice.

 

[stevo]

Had a similar situation.

Went to a meet up, saw HB, dude next to me was sweating the chic speaking Spanish back and forth. I just chilled, spoke with other people.

I look over she's literally staring at me like she's never seen a man before, all to my advantage. Again, act like you're used to such attention.

She later ignores dude, reaches over, opens me, we chat for a bit.

Group photo, she was standing by someone else, acts like she was going to throw something away.
On her way back, walks towards me, I put my hand out, she naturally comes to stand next to me.
I grab her by the waist, she leans in. Funny thing is when I saw the photo, we both looked like we were already fcuking. Again, positioning yourself.

At the time I didnt have a phone so I didnt ask for #.
I was going to message her through meetup app but she disabled messaging.

Next time I attend, if she shows up, we'll pick up from where we left off.

Also goes to show, talking too much or sweating for a chic is ineffective.

As to your situation, send her a message or wait till next meetup. Don't be dependent on the outcome either way, let it fall where it may but always have a plan and act accordingly.

 

[Juanto]

As to your situation, send her a message or wait till next meetup. Don't be dependent on the outcome either way, let it fall where it may but always have a plan and act accordingly.

I reckon I will wait for the next one, and by building more rapport either give her my number or contact her after the meetup, think my chances will be bigger after meeting her again.

 

[stevo]

I reckon I will wait for the next one, and by building more rapport either give her my number or contact her after the meetup, think my chances will be bigger after meeting her again.

Perfect, have a plan, stick to it.

But to clarify, if you're sending her a message it'd have to be around your first meetup.

If you meet her again at another meetup, if you both get talking, finalize the deal there -- shows natural progression.
However, do not chat her up the second time and then send her a message on meetup to hang out shows low confidence.

Chat her up, exchange numbers.

 

[Juanto]

Perfect, have a plan, stick to it.

But to clarify, if you're sending her a message it'd have to be around your first meetup.

If you meet her again at another meetup, if you both get talking, finalize the deal there -- shows natural progression.
However, do not chat her up the second time and then send her a message on meetup to hang out shows low confidence.

Chat her up, exchange numbers.

Makes perfect sense, stevo. Only eventual setback would be for her not to show up for that meetup, then this plan is worthless.

 

[pyros]

It doesnt really matter if you wait till you see her again or not.
You can add her on facebook and message her and depending on how she replies etc you ask for her number or not, and some other day you text her and depending on her enthusiasm etc you ask her out or not.

If she is single + she finds you handsome, it doesnt really mater how you build rapport, either in person or on fb or whatsapp or whatever really.

Up to you.

 

[Trump]

I reckon I will wait for the next one, and by building more rapport either give her my number or contact her after the meetup, think my chances will be bigger after meeting her again.

What are "meetups"? Is it speed dating? A singles bar?

Bro do as you feel comfortable, but if you wait until the next one, you are assuming 2 major things: (1) she will show up (2) she won't meet, date, have sex or get in a relationship with any guy between now and next meetup. And if you found her attractive, probably every other guy did as well.

 

[Juanto]

What are "meetups"? Is it speed dating? A singles bar?

Usually there is a subject for every meetup, the one I went was related to books, so we talked about that. But the one im going tonight for example, is just for socializing, meaning lots of foreign people who just arrived in my city usually go to this one as well to meet new people.

 

[imported]

What are "meetups"? Is it speed dating? A singles bar?

Bro do as you feel comfortable, but if you wait until the next one, you are assuming 2 major things: (1) she will show up (2) she won't meet, date, have sex or get in a relationship with any guy between now and next meetup. And if you found her attractive, probably every other guy did as well.

It's meetup.com, it's many groups in almost every city in the world with some kind of subject (e.g. 18-30 yr olds, young entrepreneurs, fitness, etc). I still think it's terrrible for picking up because you can't isolate and if you mess up it messes you up for the whole group.

 

[Juanto]

It's meetup.com, it's many groups in almost every city in the world with some kind of subject (e.g. 18-30 yr olds, young entrepreneurs, fitness, etc). I still think it's terrrible for picking up because you can't isolate and if you mess up it messes you up for the whole group.

On the meetups, like the one im going tonight, people after leave the initial place and we go to bars and clubs, so its a bit better than the initial meetup scenario. But I agree, in the last one (regarding books) I had a hard time isolating this girl because we were always in group, even during the dinner that followed.