Met girl leaving in a few days

[rollsolo]

So here's the scoop... I met this girl while biking in a local park. We went on three dates total. This all happened within a months time. First date, a local restaurant by her house which was great, second date I took her to my neighborhood away from her town and we rode bikes in the park, talked, got dinner after and went to the beach leading to sex. Third date which was Yesterday (Sunday) I took her for a hike in the mountains two hours away.

Now i'm try to be level headed about the situation because I will be away on a trip for four months returning in Sept. However, I can't stop thinking about her now along with our experiences together during the time spent. This entire day I was preparing for Saturday (the day I leave), and getting my work together for take off. I couldn't stop wanting to see her again and look into her eyes. She sent me this text last night a few hrs after I dropped her off saying...

(Name!) Thanks so much again for a truly wonderful day. I really appreciate having met you, especially the way we did. I'm happy for the times we shared. Keep in touch! Very excited for your coming adventures. (Her name and address). I'll look out for your postcard - from wherever you send it. Safe and exhilarating travels to you!!

I sent her a follow up text an hour or so later saying (BTW don't make fun of my words)...

(Name), I'm glad to have met you too, it was a shining moment and intrinsic experience. I had a great time spent and sharing the mountains with you as well. I'll be in touch with you.

While I'll be gone for four months, I'd like to win her and make her mine. What's the best way to do this? Do I see her again on the whymm before I leave by showing up at her place? Do I just proceed by sending a postcard? Do I just let it go? I know I may sound super lame and had experiences with women in the past, sustained relationships, almost got married. But something about this one is different, from the way we met, our connection throughout has just been amazing. We connect on a level where I've never been able to with women before. And while I'm sure I will meet others as time permits, I met her and would like to pursue her or at least let her know that I want her with a burning desire.

Today I said to myself that I want to hang with her tomorrow. Just see her once more before I leave. It's better to just ask what's shes doing and that I want to see her. It's better to just get what your feeling to say or do released from your body instead of regretting that you didn't do it at that moment. The time is now. Thoughts?

 

[Willard]

You both said your goodbyes, leave it at that, go have fun and meet other girls, she's most certainly going to be meeting other guys. Send her one postcard letting her know you did something awesome. Maybe when you get back you send her text and see what happens. You left it perfectly, if you do anything else you are going to blow it.

 

[rollsolo]

You both said your goodbyes, leave it at that, go have fun and meet other girls, she's most certainly going to be meeting other guys. Send her one postcard letting her know you did something awesome. Maybe when you get back you send her text and see what happens. You left it perfectly, if you do anything else you are going to blow it.

That's true but when you say blow do you mean the emotions that are already established from the previous dates? Or the sense of wonder that when I'm gone "I wonder what he is up to". I'm going on a journey and working for 4 months doing so, documenting and creating a book. I'm not going to have much time for women. However, I feel a connection that I've never felt with any women like this one. It's interested and is provoking me to do things I never thought I would.

 

[Ronaldo7]

That's true but when you say blow do you mean the emotions that are already established from the previous dates? Or the sense of wonder that when I'm gone "I wonder what he is up to". I'm going on a journey and working for 4 months doing so, documenting and creating a book. I'm not going to have much time for women. However, I feel a connection that I've never felt with any women like this one. It's interested and is provoking me to do things I never thought I would.

Blow it as in the emotions that are already established from the previous dates. What you did was fine. Leave it at that.

 

[Willard]

You are going on a trip to do something great, you shouldn't worry about what is going on between you and this girl, it might mess up your trip. If you try to see her again before you leave she will probably lose interest. Go do your thing, learn and have a great time, forget about this girl, she's not special, you don't even know her very well, she's just a girl, there are 3.5 billion of them on the planet.

 

[El Payaso]

What Willard said.

 

[rollsolo]

Thanks guys, I guess I was looking for conformation for myself to be able to make the decision to try and setup another time to meet. I do think a postcard would do relating to my trip would be best. It will build anticipation on her part which can lead to a success when I do arrive back. Not know what the situation may be when I return, their are many out there, as the river flows on.

 

[rollsolo]

Update:

So I went against the grain and reached out via text last night saying...

Me: Hey, I have a few hours tomorrow before I leave, do you want to do something?

She replied this afternoon next day saying...

Her: Hey! I think it's wonderful of you to offer me your time. Sadly my work life is too consuming these days. I like how we parted. Our day together was really lovely - shall we let that memory linger? I am happy to savor.

Is there anything else to say in reply to this message. Hope I didn't blow it but hey, I went with my gut and feel much better now even though I was rejected.

Any thoughts on responding to this if needed?

 

[Ronaldo7]

Update:

So I went against the grain and reached out via text last night saying...

Me: Hey, I have a few hours tomorrow before I leave, do you want to do something?

She replied this afternoon next day saying...

Her: Hey! I think it's wonderful of you to offer me your time. Sadly my work life is too consuming these days. I like how we parted. Our day together was really lovely - shall we let that memory linger? I am happy to savor.

Is there anything else to say in reply to this message. Hope I didn't blow it but hey, I went with my gut and feel much better now even though I was rejected.

Any thoughts on responding to this if needed?

I told you so. You blew it. The general opinion was that this would happen. Don't say anything back. Maybe this time you will actually listen.

 

[Willard]

There can be no response to that, she just let you go, now you can do your thing and forget about her, and forget about the post card as well.

 

[rollsolo]

I really don't see how me asking her to hang again would blow everything we had and the opportunity to start again when I get back. Don't necessarily agree that I blew it. Maybe you can elaborate and be a bit more clear on the situation. I mean I had a few hours, now I don't. If she asked me to hang or reconsidered I won't be able to even make it out there to see her. I was living in the moment and had a few hours to see her. If me asking for that would blow it then it wasn't worth it all together.

 

[Willard]

You only went out whith her a few times and you said your goodbyes. When you said you wanted to spend time with her right before you leave, you showed too much interest. She expected you to be spending your last time with friends and family. Her last text was saying we had fun lets leave it at that. At least you can now completely forget about her and concentrate on your project. Your career is much more important than a girl you barely know. Delete her number and forget about it

 

[Ronaldo7]

You only went out whith her a few times and you said your goodbyes. When you said you wanted to spend time with her right before you leave, you showed too much interest. She expected you to be spending your last time with friends and family. Her last text was saying we had fun lets leave it at that. At least you can now completely forget about her and concentrate on your project. Your career is much more important than a girl you barely know. Delete her number and forget about it

That's how you blew it. You already said farewell. It is done. You should have left at that note. You became too eager to continue pursuing it by sending her that text. In anyone's mind, one would expect a person, who will be departing soon, to be spending it with their friends and family.

 

[El Payaso]

You already said goodbye. Forget about this girl and travel to wherever you're going and meet other girls. In fact, delete her number.

 

[GotED?]

Her interest level is low, or else she would had met up again.

A woman falling in love would move mountains to see or hear from the man of her life.

You are over rating this quick meaningless sexual encounter as more.

I also see you lost your frame as well, all the power she has over you now because you revealed your hand too early - learn to be a better Poker player.

Exodus

 

[rollsolo]

Well if that's the case then whenever. I agree with being a better poker player ^, I suck at the game playing I just go with what I feel. Anyway... here are some message exchanged after her last text from before. I responded and said...

Hey, no problem at all...I hope my demeanor didn't give you the wrong impression. I think I wasn't clear enough in my previous message. It was a great time and I'd like to see you again when I return, take care.

Yes, of course! I wasn't put off in the least - so you needn't worry. Have such a wonderful time. I envy all that time to yourself - a special and enriching journey. Yes, call me up when you return. And be safe! xx

No the reason why I said this is because when I dropped her off last Sunday after our date she casually invited me to have dinner with her roommates. I declined because earlier she mentioned not hanging with her roommates much so I wanted to give her time to do that. I think I blew that and should of taken the offer. I'm thinking my earlier text wanting to meetup offering my time may have made it seem like I was looking for just sex. Not sure, girls are weird. I still plan on hitting her up when I get back, not expecting to jump head over heals but I'll make her mine and gain my frame back. I believe I can do that, and if not on with the river.

 

[GotED?]

Girls/women are only 'weird' to you because you CARE TOO MUCH about the situation more than she does. You spent way too much energy trying to figure out her hamster brain when she's probably fvcking other guys.

Here is the thing, dude. Women want the man THAT ALL OTHER WOMEN WANT - yes, read that again.

What women want mostly (and nothing will ever fit 100% perfectly in anyone or anything in this world by stereotyping):

* A man who is highly valued and sought after by other women - you can provide proof of this by talking about it or actually showing how other women are attracted to you in public when she's with you.

* A man who is mysterious and has to be WON OVER. She needs to know that she has got a man who was so hard to fight for because he is so sought after. This is mostly because a woman herself RARELY knows what she WANTS - so she can only validate she is doing something right by seeking external validation (yes, pretty sad but true).

* A man who is not afraid to walk away. This proves to her you are the dominant one, the strong and fearless person who she can rely upon one day when she needs you fully because she breaks down in life. This also is another validating factor that you do not allow her to misbehave (yes, strange), and it is almost back to a childhood conditioning of the father setting boundaries for the little girl to look up to and respect. No woman wants a man who submits to her b!tchness (if she does, you don't last long anyways because she will lose all respect for you and move on).

You need to learn to care less, do not feed bad behavior when a woman gives you MIXED SIGNALS, do not WASTE TIME with women who does not exert HIGH INTEREST LEVEL OF ATTRACTION for you.

I wouldn't even contact her after you come back - let her hamster brain spin into overdrive (or maybe not, she may also have forgotten about you). The thing is, she probably has MANY OTHER OPTIONS right now, while YOU DON'T. This shows and she's got your frame.

Buddy, you ARE NOT getting your frame back with this woman. Spend your energy on other women, there are way too many out there and stop wasting your time and FIND OPTIONS. IF she does contact you after you go NC, only THEN, perhaps you may re-establish your frame, slowly and painfully.

Be well

Exodus

 

[rollsolo]

Chicks do want me, I just don't have the time and to go out and pursue them. I met her after a few months breakup from my ex in a park and we connected. Connected on a level that was unmatched by any of my previous girlfriends and girls I've met. I'd say the same for her. I was just being congruent and if that screws things up then so be it.

 

[Kailex]

I don't think you are understanding what is being said to you throughout the thread. You were advised not to do certain things and leave it alone... you did, look at the end result.

I get that you feel that you connected in a way that is "unmatched" but understand that only YOU feel that way about it... she obviously doesn't.

This isn't a Hollywood movie where she is going to fall in love with you and then wait for you for 120+ days until you come back... then when you arrive at the airport, she is there waiting for you. It's not happening. Stop pursuing, she already tried to "let you go" softly once.

Seriously, at this point, I wouldn't even send the postcard. I'd let her wonder... even if at all. The fact that you didn't go with her to have dinner with the roommates is NOT what killed the interaction with her. It's the fact that you were leaving for a while and she probably knew it. She probably figured she could get a bit of action and fun with you before you left and you wouldn't get attached because of it.

If she really cared to see you, she would have moved mountains to see you before you left. Read into THAT. But don't say the connection was "unmatched" for her too... when all the obvious signs point to NO.

Girls aren't weird... you are being weird about this. She's basically blown you off and still is and you think you can get the frame back? There is no frame. It's gone. She got what she wanted out of you and moved on. Your focus should be on your time away... not this imaginary unmatched connection that you mentioned.