Met an amazing girl - think i have screwed up - PLEASE HELP

[SpikeMorrissey]

A friend?

How can she see me as a friend when we got into bed naked and fooled around on the friday night...when we just kissed all day saturday in the park and in the pub...when she kept calling me 'sexy' and 'gorgeous'

To me, Krassus, those arent friends signs

?

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by SpikeMorrissey
To me ... those arent friends signs

No, they are WH0RE signs. She is a wh0re. Like I said in a previous post, she was looking for a weekend plaything and you were there to provide it.

This should dispel the notion that this girl is "amazing" or "special" or any different from any other sl*t you could be dating. She got into your head and clouded your reality for a brief time. Now you have seen the light and it's time for your feelings for her to evolve. I can't see how this could bother you so much if you have the ability, as you've said, to pick up numerous other girls. You're already leaps and bounds ahead of most guys here. My advice is to continue the hunt for a girl who fits your profile for a long-term relationship (if that's what you want), because this particular girl is obviously not up to par.

 

[MindNsoul]

A couple of problems here.

1. You allowed things to move too fast, now she's confused. If you wanted to screw her you did good messing around but if you wanted a serious relationship (as you apperantly do) you should hold back on the touching.. trying to **** her probably confused things, cause she had to turn you down.

2. Dude you're 200 miles away and sending love notes after one date. that clearly spells needy. Your email was too long, a short email stating .

"Hey - Had a great time, thanks for allowing me to crash at your spot. By the way how are things at the new job. "

would have done better. Because it would allow her to do most of the talking and you would jus follow her lead.

3. She's an internet chick, Joe Smo probably ****ed her down last weekend, so take it easy with the dreamy expectations and get to know her for more than waht you see.

4. If you really don't care to know her and just want to **** her, wait 2 weeks, then call her and say.

"Hey - I'm going to be passing through your area for business on the (date) and thought we should grab dinner or some coffe, so set me know what's up.

If she responds great! if she doesn't f4ck her.. MOVE ON TO THE NEXT.

 

[AMF]

Precisely the same.

Spike,

Quite simply, I know EXACTLY what this is like.

I am with "that" girl you met...

readin about your weekend is SPOOKY, i mean totally the same. You were describing my day the last two days! We even went for a walk like that the day after 4 hours sleep coz i spent the night almost worshipping her body! This chick is incredibly hot and didnt stop complimentin me... it feels like you could fall in love right there dont it buddy? I mean, you can hardly believe whats happenin. I literally said as i was gettin into bed "****. ive got an absolute hottie in my bed. this is amazing."

Also, im from the UK too dude. And im not a bad looking bloke by any means, and like you, have average chicks quite easily.

Now, this chick has chased me loads. In clubs all the time. Not only physically connected, but our backgrounds are the same, and i really felt this is the most special girl ive ever met... this is the big time, what its all about.

And same as you, EVERYTHING i felt and said, SHE felt and said the same. Thats the amazing bit. This girl practically said "your perfect." She COULDNT leave me alone. Same as you buddy.

Now heres the deal. this chick has been contactin me since, really positively, but still, Ive got this feelin im gonna b where you are if i do ONE SINGLE THING EVEN REMOTELY NEEDY DESPERATE OR EVEN ATTACHED. Problem is, i dont think i can avoid gettin attached.

So just 2 let ya know, im wiv u on this one totally...

i'll let ya know if this chick turns into yours and burns me. Guess we can then try and formulate some rule of spottin this type.

These are attention *****s like no other. CHICKS THAT ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THEY'D MARRY YOU... i mean it...

then burn you.

In the meantime whats your advice, in hindsight?

Take it easy buddy.

 

[echo1212]

Well spike, if she's updating her personal ad and hasn't been in contact with you yet besides that email..shes for sure playing the internet dating game. She's dating as many guys as she can until she finds that perfect guy for her. Who knows, you may be it, but shes gonna have fun looking at others to. To me, if she was that willing to get into bed with you after one date and hasnt exactly been contacting you since, she's probably a slut who is looking to just date around, and not as perfect as you think she is.

Again, leave things alone. She knows who you are and that you are interested. There is nothing you can accomplish by begging and pleading with her. If you don't hear from here within a few days, shoot an email to her saying you'd like hang out and see what she says.

One thing to consider. Maybe she does really like you-enough to spend the weekend with, but has considered that she doesn't want a long distance relationship so she'd rather cut it off now then get too involved. Perhaps if you lived closer..things would be different. If thats the case you can't really blame her, LTR's are very very hard. Discuss.

 

[drZaius09]

The more I read everyone's horror stories about these girls, the more I think of RAD, or "reactive attachment disorder." It's been talked about before on this board.

RAD begins very early in childhood, but it's effects can be seen well into adulthood. Chicks with RAD usually come from abusive or neglectful backgrounds. The most common cause of the disorder in females (that I've seen) is an unhealthy relationship, or total lack of relationship, with their father. But it could also stem from something as simple as being ostracized (sp) by other children while growing up. Girls with RAD have an overwhelming hunger for love and affection, but are road-blocked by their undying mistrust for everyone around them. RAD girls will generally do everything in their power to create an attachment in your mind toward them. The natural progression of a RAD relationship is as follows: 1) You meet a girl who is "amazing" and "different" from the others. 2) She makes you believe she feels a strong connection to you. In reality, she is role-playing to simulate the absent emotional bonds in her life. 3) You start to fall for her and feel the potential for a love relationship. 4) Girl realizes what you are feeling and PANICS. She has no idea how to deal with the emotions you have for her because she has never experienced them before; OR, she was betrayed or otherwise heart-broken under similar circumstances. 5) Girl pushes you away and relationship eventually ends, leaving you confused and jaded.

The important thing to understand is that they will do whatever it takes to simulate that emotional connection with you. That includes sleeping with you, introducing you to her parents, filling your head with lies and fairy tales, etc etc. The irony is that it is the same thing that both compels and terrifies these women at the same time. Make no mistake: this is a serious mental disorder. You cannot hope to overcome the symptoms of a RAD victim. They need professional help; nothing you do can save them, so don't ever take it personally.

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

AMF - Dont tell me shes from Leeds as well!?

DR Zaius - wow that was amazing, are you really a doctor - because that sounded unbelievably brilliant.

 

[echo1212]

Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius...c'mon and Rock me Dr. Zaius!!

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

AMF

I dont know mate. I just wanted to know where we stood. It sounds like you are in the same town as your girl so there is no need to push things. The fact that the girl this happened with for me lives 200 miles made me rightly or wrongly react the way I did as the only way I could ever see her would be on weekends and even then i go to football most saturdays.

If you live in the same town then theres no need to rush. I would wait 3 days since the date and ask her out again. Just to show that you are no pissing her about. If she doesnt reply then just leave it. I've sadly worked it out that you never have control of anyone else. If they want you they will come and get you.

I hope your girl really is amazing for you. Who knows maybe it has finally happened to you. However be careful. If shes anything like mine then she can have what she wants, when she wants. And thats dangerous.

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

DR ZAIUS

She actually gets on really well with her dad and not her mum.

Another wierd thing is that her sister added me to MSN and when I went to say hi it was her mum! Anyway the mum said 'We'll miss you at dinner tonight' so I went 'I dont think I'll be invited again' and she said 'Well as far as I'm concerned your welcome anytime' then she said 'maybe you should play with friends your own age'

That I considered really odd as I am only 29 and her daughter <the one I like> is 24.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Spike: The answer to this situation is quiete simple. YOU SCARED HER!! She's definitely a little attention *****!! Hardly a "quality girl" in my opinion. Get over it bro, she's definitely a wolf in sheep's clothing. Like someone said earlier, there's a reason she's on the internet trying to date. And if she's that hot, she probably prefers to date guys who are far away so she never has to run into them again with her attention ***** status. I can almost assure you that all the guys in her town know she's a weird attention craving *****. Be happy that you got cut off so soon, no sense in acting AFC over someone who isn't a good person.


And if your really getting tons of attention from other HB's, I really don't see why this is bending you so outta shape. Learn to live in the moment, and not in the past or future.



PIMP

 

[echo1212]

See spike thats the key isnt it. Women know that men want to sex them up, so they pull the strings when it comes to most men. We're driven by out genetic NEED to procreate. Its inborn. Women know this. Therefore, when certain types of men can control this and not let every girl they meet know how much we like them and more importantly want to **** the hell out of them, those are the ones truely happy and who have the most success with the fairer sex.

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

Guess I'm like this cos she is a 9 out of 10 and the other HBs are probably 7s and she is the first girl in like years I just want to look at for hours just for the sake of looking at their face

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

Echo,

Sure. But the girls I have been with recently have told me that the reason they went with me was because I wasnt a nice guy and I had charisma and balls. That I showed I had a sexual side. If you start acting like a ***** then you just get put in the nice guy category.

It was the girl from 200 miles away who got into bed with me got naked with me. She said she wasnt going to have sex on principle being the first time we met and I didnt make any fuss about that. So I still really dont get it.

 

[echo1212]

"Another wierd thing is that her sister added me to MSN and when I went to say hi it was her mum! Anyway the mum said 'We'll miss you at dinner tonight' so I went 'I dont think I'll be invited again' and she said 'Well as far as I'm concerned your welcome anytime' then she said 'maybe you should play with friends your own age'"

See, now to me this is strange. The whole mom thing is just odd. You probably shouldnt have said anything to her sister (mom), that puts even more undo pressure on your girl cause you know theyre gonna go straight to her and tell her that you were instant messaging them. And you FOR SURE shouldnt have said anything about not getting invited again. Tha makes you appear insecure, sensitive, and not confident at all. And then for her mom to make the comment about people your own age? STRA-ANGE!

Sounds to me like your girl and her mom were talking about you and something was said about your age. That could be why she's not hooking back up with you right there. Although, I agree, 29 and 24 seems fine to me.

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

Its all very odd to say the least.
I am sensitive - that doesnt make me AFC and it can help as it has actually got me girls cos they like a combo of sensitive and sexy it seems. Maybe this girl is just an attention seeking ***** as DR ZAIUS seems to suggest.

 

[echo1212]

Nothing wrong with being sensitive my friend, but its bad to be overly sensitive, which in this case I think you might have been. To say to her mom that you don't think you'll be invited over again after spending the weekend with her and such, thats not confident and its being kind of a wuss. No offense. Who knows though dude. Its best to try and not read too much into this. LEt it play out.

And quit getting such a case of oneitis lol!! Shes cute, but prolly not a nine. A solid 7.5 or so, maybe an 8. You rate her higher because youre so enthralled with her right now. But this shall pass my friend.

 

[takfer1]

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius...Echo1212 is Gauis!!!

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius...Oh Dr. Zaius....Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius...Echo1212 is Gaius...Oh Yes he is so Gaius!!!!!

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by echo1212
Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius...c'mon and Rock me Dr. Zaius!!

"I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-ZEEE. Oh, you'll never make a monkey out of meeeeee!"

No Spike, I'm not really a doctor. I've just had a lot of bad experiences. But feel free to continue to refer to me as "doctor."

 

[echo1212]

Bottom line here is its been a week now since your escapade. You would think she would have been in touch by now. Silence speaks volume my friend, as much as we hate to admit it. Time to move on and if she calls..she calls. But keep on with your life.