Met a woman with 3 kids

[NewMan]

My point is that if you're not careful you might find yourself between committing yourself to a life that you do not want and ending a relationship with someone you really care about.

Great point.

This is where I find myself now.

It's inevitable that someone - or both - will get hurt. It's a very fine line to be able to continue seeing a chick and not getting involved - if you are not careful you can easily be 6 or 12 months down the line wondering how you got to that point.

be careful, and always remember what your goals are.

 

[joekerr31]

the easiest way for no one to get hurt is to be brutally honest as you go along.

which isn't easy. because if you say you just want a sexual casual relationship with her, odds are she ain't going to give it up.

remember what rollo always say, women communicate covertly. so a woman can look you in the eye and say 'i'm ok with that.' but not mean it! what she may mean is 'im ok with sleeping with you to ultimate get to what i want. but i know first i gotta get you hooked on my p*ssy, then when i've got control i can make you commit to me and my children."

but at least if you laid down the truth in the beginning, then when she does that you can shut it down. sure, she'll be pissed off, but you can hold your ground with a clear conscience.

 

[CGE333]

Just do what you want, what's the worst that could happen besides you pis*sing away your life and money on someone else's kids

Seriously, nothing wrong with playing around with a less than ideal women-especially if you hit a dry spell. If nothing else this will boost your ego to maybe get higher up on the food chain. And if it turns out that you really like this women- well worse things could happen. Just play it cool and see how it goes and please make sure the bathroom door is locked.

 

[RobLB]

I am in this same situation. I made it clear up front that I did not want to get serious with anybody but we kept going out and doin things together and now a year later I am trying to deal with it. She also has 2 kids. I know it's easy for alot of guys on here to say "just tell her like it is and dump her" but sometimes its a hard thing to do, especially if you have developed any kind of feelings for her.

Lifes a biotch sometimes.

Good luck

 

[##17]

the "mother of three" did him in the bathroom of a gas station. she aint no prize (water seeks its own level). don't get caught up in "for her sake" thinking, or you will get trapped by save a ho mentality. Think. They met in a Bar and four days later the mother of three is doing him in public bathrooms. Think. Does this sound like a monogamous woman? All she has to do to have a new man in her life is go down to the bar, no? Somehow I doubt he is the "only man in her life". Learn to take them Down off the pedestal. That means you have to Unlearn what you learned from Mom and Dad.

Actually I think the opposite will happen. You'll just avoid a bad situation altogether.

Talking more generally, divorce is very common. Meet a girl in her early 30's, it's not unlikely that she is a single mom. If she is, chances are she's a decent person trying to make the best of a tough situation. Treat her with respect like you would any other woman.

I also think that a guy is better off not getting involved with anyone he doesn't like as a person. Why bother--there are a lot of cool girls who love sex (with a guy who is cool enough himself) as much as any guy does.

 

[Latinoman]

Good point #17. I don't understand how a man would have sex with women they consider "low quality".

 

[Latinoman]

The only reason I avoid women with children (including the good ones) is because in my opinion a Man should be responsible for setting an example for children. I don't want that responsibility (unless they are my kids).

But there is nothing wrong with dating a woman with children as long as the man understand the consequences and responsibilities. Very few men do...and accordingly I discourage it.

 

[decades]

Talking more generally, divorce is very common. Meet a girl in her early 30's, it's not unlikely that she is a single mom. If she is, chances are she's a decent person trying to make the best of a tough situation. Treat her with respect like you would any other woman.

This may are may not be true even in a general sense. It's a highly debatable topic, just not one for this thread. That is because we have been presented with a specific fact set about a specific person who happens to be a single mom. So there is no need to generalize. We can be specific in our advice and commentary.

And we know enough from what's been presented to make certain inferences. Primarily, that she does not at all resemble one of your idealized, pedestal occupying, "decent" single moms that deserves his respect. There are "reasons" many moms are single (and not being respected) and often its not that hard to figure out why, as is the case here. Wait a long time before putting them up on the pedestal.

 

[squirrels]

Fvck her, no strings attached. That may be all she wants. The second you sense that she wants more, delete her number and stop answering the phone. And don't let her know where you live...fvck her at her place.

 

[##17]

This may are may not be true even in a general sense. It's a highly debatable topic, just not one for this thread. That is because we have been presented with a specific fact set about a specific person who happens to be a single mom. So there is no need to generalize. We can be specific in our advice and commentary.

And we know enough from what's been presented to make certain inferences. Primarily, that she does not at all resemble one of your idealized, pedestal occupying, "decent" single moms that deserves his respect. There are "reasons" many moms are single (and not being respected) and often its not that hard to figure out why, as is the case here. Wait a long time before putting them up on the pedestal.

Sure. I'll say it again though...if you dont respect a woman, why get involved with her? That's as bad as a woman using an AFC for free dinners, validation, ect. Anyway, the Golden Rule aside, that is how a lot of guys get themselves in bad situations, such as disease, stalkers, ect. Ever hear of Fatal Attraction?

Latinoman already said it very well already above. (And I have gone to him for advice before, including the girl I talked about in this thread. He is a VERY smart guy and he gave me great advice.)

And you should never, EVER put ANY woman on a pedestal (except maybe if she's your mom or grandmother). Even if she's the equaivalent of Mother Teresa, that is a great way to get played. I never said you should.

 

[decades]

Sure. I'll say it again though...if you dont respect a woman, why get involved with her?

I am not advocating getting involved with her. But a lot of guys here would simply F close her and never call her again or see her again. That's a valid approach for a woman like this. You don't have to respect a woman you just want to F. I happen to think he is playing with fire but that's his decision. It's hard to refuse P when its lying there on the bed waiting for you.

 

[Latinoman]

"Using" people for sex is a very immature thing.

All the women that have felt a VERY strong attachment for me have been the same that I have told them from the get go that I either did not want anything serious, or had no interest in getting re-married, or did not want her (once intimacy started taking place) to fall in love with me.

And do you know what is the outcome?

RESPECT. A LOT of RESPECT for me. Yes...they do get their heart broken. But they STILL respect me as a Man. And I feel sorry for whoever end up in their lives...as the standard I set if damn high.

If you need to blatantly LIE to get laid...then you will always live in a lie. A fantasy. A dream of the man you wish you were...but are not. Now, I'm not advocating that you go and spill all your beans and go into a confession state. Nor that you be a full and tell her your hand. But when it comes to sleeping with a woman that is decent and that emotions might develop and the possibility of hurting her is greater...then be honest. That way...if she get involve...she is doing it knowing the consequences.