Met a girl this weekend..advice on proceeding

[zinc4]

Went on a date with a girl she brought her dog...I actually asked her to because I like dogs. Met her in the local convenience store here downstairs from where I live and I drank some beer while she had half of a drink...she doesn't really drink.

Got her back to my place... Caught initial resistance from heavybkino but eventually led to laying in bed together makingbout...I could have banged her, but I was too hungover from the previous nights before....so my **** was literally try to soft for me to be excited enough.

Anyways...after she began to reciprocate my kissing I teased her and said oh I thought you never did this sort of thing straight to a guys apartment and kissing....she said ha, I don't but I like you.

She also reciprocated stuff such as I told her she was cute while kissing her and she said no, you are so cute.

Anyways...when it came time for her to leave I was drunk and acted major beta physical wouldn't let her out of the bed...Im living in a foreign country by myself here no friends breally just random sex partners and no coworkers besides one boring guy whos in a serious relationship. So its definitely getting to me..the isolation..

Anyways... I was drunk kept pulling her surprised she wasn't scared I would rape her...she still lives with her mom and said she didnt want to be questioned for not coming home...this was around midnight...but would say stuff like wow you are strong when i was holding her down and kiss me....finally she said OK I just need to get up to use the bathroom...so I let her up she came back and asked me to walk her to the train station... Begrudgingly I should up and did it..

On the way to the station I thought oh well I've gone full beta might as well keep it up probably a lost cause now anyway...I said let's meet next weekend what are u doing Saturday... She said how about Friday night...I said OK good...walked saw her off..

Next day, I sent a text saying hey had a great time with you and your dog, looking forward to Friday...

To my surprise, she sent about 4 messages back a few hours later saying Friday is a public holiday and we have a three day weekend hinting at doing something good..I said great let's do something fun....she said...OK...great idea..

So I looked at Friday on the internet holiday calendar here it is a holiday...

I texted her ohfriday is dragon boat day let's meet early and go to the beach...fulong...she days OK great when and where..I tell her 11:30 am banciao train station...she then asks if it would be OK to meet at the stop across from my place first so we can go to the big train station together... I said OK see ya there gave a good night tonight blah blah

Now....I am honestly shocked she is still so eager after my little wouldn't let leave incident...

Do you think a simple midweek text is a good idea or just complete ghost until the date? I actually could see myself really dating this girl....despite my previous self sabotage efforts. And lack of text communication has turned to be a big strike against me lately with various girls making it feel too much to them like I.only want sex nothing else...

Also...on next date should I arrange the third meetup while still on the second date?

Girls here are a little different than in the US...sometimes its acting a little beta can pay off to let her know you are aren't just interested only in sex...because there's a big stigma about that here among the locals about white guys...this girl is early 30s and wanting a relationship....also..she doesn't drink but I like to drink a lot..

On the date to the beach this weekend I want to drink...can't help but feel a little selfish for drinking a lot in front of a non drinker...but damnit its the beach...so I will drink...think it hurt the attraction...after a lot of cheap sake ones breath really starts to feel...but I feel like a beach date with no drinking would be dull..

 

[zinc4]

Ok....some good sounding advice... So you are suggesting complete no contact until 11:30 Saturday morning date time and then no contact after the date and let her text me first if not no contact...

Also...I think by her impying a big three day weekend holiday she wants to stay the weekend on a trip with me...

I'm getting the feeling I don't have to play games with her ....but of course I know that's never really the case...

Also, like I said I'm planning to drink a bottle or two of sake and wine at the beach...I know it makes my breath reek to a non drinker like herself, but that's my way to relax at the beach and its my frame..

 

[Krueg]

It seems like now days nobody wants to date.. We're all trying to just get the pv$$y! Some girls arent easy and take time. Ho's are easy!! What are you looking for in your romance?

 

[zinc4]

Actually... I would like someone to date...to go to the beach and mountains with every weekend...a serious relationship if you will... It's very easy to have casual sex partners here...I've got a few reliable ones as backup...I could have already pushed sex with her but didn't want to wasn't in the mood....

I would like to turn her into a reliable girlfriend thus why I'm am hesitant about acting too aloof like the other poster suggested...

 

[zinc4]

Guys...sorry to bump this...but no contact between dates in the past has actually backfired on me...a few girls got cold feet and said it was too obvious I only wanted sex while others said it made them more curious.... So....not sure how to play this one as I actually like her a bit ..she's in her early 30s if that helps...

 

[usernamedox11]

honestly, I don't see much wrong with what you did.

I've forced girls to stay in bed with me before, and they like to feel like they are desired, especially if the girl isn't a slvt who has slept around.

I would just make sure to have a good time with her each time you hang out with her, make her feel good about herself, let her do most of the talking, and make sure you use the phone for very small chit-chat and arranging times to meet.

 

[zinc4]

What about the whole waiting to plan another date thing?

 

[usernamedox11]

What about the whole waiting to plan another date thing?

When you think too hard about what to do with a girl is usually when you fvck up, in my experience. You over analyze things and become neurotic. It's happened to me. She clearly likes you, too, and wants to see you. She agreed to a date, so relax.

You clearly like her a lot and don't let that mess with your head and ruin it.

You have the next date scheduled. I would just text her on the day of the date, say you might be 20 minutes late. Treat her well during the date, show that you like her with your actions, not words in the way you treat her. If the date goes well and you still like her, wait a couple days, call her up, chat with her and schedule another date with her. Tell her you're not much of a phone person and that you prefer to catch up in person if she asks you why you dont text or call her much.

 

[usernamedox11]

I told you to not do that on the second date. It makes you look weak, with a scarcity mindset and completely annihilates any mystery you have surronding you.
If you wait for her to text you first after the date, it gets her hamster spinning wondering "if she was good enough" or "if you still want another date". She will ponder this all the time until she either texts you or heard from you. But it she is forced to text you first, she will be chasing. (A side note: women with very high IL will ALWAYS text you after you drop them off, or if they don't they'll ask you to text them whenever you get home to make sure you're safe.)

She will be so happy to hear from you and get another date that an emotional spike will occur, e.g. more attraction and connection to you. All of this from simply waiting. Don't revert to AFC status Zinc, you know what needs to be done here.

Dude, there's nothing wrong with him contacting her a few days after the date to schedule again.

He doesn't have to wait and wait for her to text him. She might figure he doesn't like her. Or yeah, she might actually like him and get desperate and text him. But it's normal for guys to do the pursuing in the beginning, and he likes her. He shouldn't have to stress her out or manipulate someone he actually likes and it seems she likes him back. Why create unnecessary friction? Those games might work when the girl has low interest and want to raise it, but this girl doesn't, she seems to be interested, too. He just needs to carry himself with dignity. There's also the possibility she might realize he's playing a game and play it back 2x as hard, which is something you definitely don't want as that usually doesn't end well, in my experience. When the girl knows you're playing games and you really like her, she will win at the game. For whatever reason, girls seem to have more discipline in controlling their emotions when it comes to romance.

Check out this study: http://elitedaily.com/dating/men-likely-fall-love-harder-faster-women/965285/

As long as she likes him and agrees to go out on dates, he's totally fine. The more she dates him, if she likes him, she'll bring up the relationship talk herself.

Think about it like this, if you knew a girl really, really liked you, and you liked her back would you want her to play games with you? Not really, just creates friction, stress, etc, etc. Don't manipulate people you like. Leave that to the cluster bs.

 

[usernamedox11]

There was this one time I took a girl out on a date, she had high interest.

I acted really aloof. At the end of the date, she told me it doesn't seem like I like her and that she's not used to that and she's not sure how she feels about seeing me anymore.

I text her after a few days to schedule, no response.

Wait a few days and text again, no response.

Sometimes being really aloof and acting like you don't care can really push a girl away, the same way it does to us.

I personally notice on dates when I act engaging, treat the girl well, show I'm emotionally available, the girls like me more. Show you like the girl with your actions, not your words. When you use your words, that's the thing that really kills all the mystery. Believe me, chicks get just as confused and will wonder why you you're not saying you like them and whatever even though your actions show it. That's all you need, eventually they will bring up the talk themselves if they like you enough. And of course, the above will only work if the girl has high enough IL, too. But it's a good way to filter out the low IL girls and only hang around high IL girls. Also, this will only work with high quality girls. With slvts and cluster b girls, game them.

 

[usernamedox11]

Apple, you gave a good point and I know all of this. I specifically have stated not all women are the same, so you can't use the same game on every single woman.

You arent tryuly good with women until you can read them and figure out how to act with them. Some, you need to act aloof and disinterested. This will drive them to you. However with other women, this will drive them to think you're not interested (as in your case).

I'm not sure how you act when aloof however, and you arent sure how I act. That's something I'm going to make a video on today actually, now that I think about it, so thank you This goes with what you said: show her with actions, not words. By using kino, giving sexually tense eye contact, light kisses, teasing of yourself and her, and overall playfulness / lightness you should NEVER have to tell a woman you like her. Whether you do or not, she will be atteacted to your personality (if she had a decent IL already).

Now I'm sure the term 'overgaming' can be thrown into my argument. And I validate that. But it's not until you learn through mistakes that you can generate your own approach to women and life that makes you most successful. That's the point I'm trying to make. So Zinc, trust your gut, but make sure it's the rational, unemotional gut you've gained from being here on SoSuave.

At this point, I'm a little tired of the games, so I just try to hang out with girls I genuinely like and try not to play games. If their IL doesn't seem high enough, I just move on because I'm over all that

 

[zinc4]

So...in the past I have always been able to plan to hang out the next week on our current date and never had any issues... I'm always sleeping with them though after first date and their il has been high....it was almost like a potentially self defeating action done on.purpose on my part that ironically always worked out well for me...

I just feel like if everything went good and you are already boning why not have the next date already set up....

I could see how it kills mystery... But like applegoo says if her il is high then it really shouldn't matter......in the past I never even cared enough to.play games and would just say oh well if she doesn't like it then I'll just be free to hit up the clubs on x and x days...

But now at 34, starting to feel more of a pressure to find a stable relationship again... Thus the overthinking....

 

[cordoncordon]

Wow look at this. Our resident Asian poon alpha slayer Zinc getting all beta and over analyzing. Who would have known?

I'm just giving you a hard time but I am happy to see you start to realize that laying endless girls without anything deeper can get very old very fast. From what you said, it sounds like this girl really likes you. Knowing how Asian women are, she very easily could have though you a stalker/rapist/creeper type by not letting her leave, but obviously if she is over looking all of that, she is into you.

I would just shoot her a text tomorrow. Doesn't have to be anything serious. Ask how she is doing...whatever. Solidify plans for the weekend, and not contact her again until the day you meet. I know when my wife and I met, even though I think we both knew that day it was going to lead to something long term, neither of us went overboard on the contacting. When it's right, it's right. And all of the games and guesswork kind of flies out the window. She is Asian as well, though she has been in the US most of her life, and so when we met I thought I may have to play things a little differently. But it just came natural with her and things were great. And that is still true 6 years later. Still do pretty much everything together and love every minute of it. That is what I hope you find with this girl or someone like her. I think you will find that the emptiness in your life that you talk about will disappear.

Keep us updated but I think you are fine here.

 

[zinc4]

I know Concord....its kind of sad right....my dad passed away about a year ago and ever since then my viewpoint on things has changed dramatically....not to mention going out getting drunk and banging slutty women is really starting to take its toll... the feeling of invinciblity is gone...

I'm about to shoot her a text just saying hoping she is having a good week and looking forward to this weekend...

 

[zinc4]

One of my perhaps soon to be plates just told me I should definitely send a text wishing her a good week and looking forward to Friday..... Not sure if I should trust a woman's advuce though...