Met a girl I like - is it the right time to ask her out for a date? Experts help plz

[cluelessasian]

Hey everyone, after reading these boards for a while, i absorbed alot of useful info in the mysterious world of relationship!

Anyhow, I met a girl I like at work and we are both interns. I met her at a external company event had our first conversation there. I got her MSN and work e-mail in our first conversation and talked to her on MSN when she is on and occasionally drop by her cube to have a short conversation. Following the DJ way, I kept my conversation short and swift, without dragging on and I always end the conversation first. It is just the regular conversation like how you are doing, what are your job responsibilities etc. I am not sure if she is single or not.

So I asked some probing question like how come you went to the event alone and she told me she is meeting her friends in another city for dinner, so they didn’t come. I also asked what she do during the weekend and she says nothing much, just hang around with friends sometimes.

Last week, I had a lunch meeting with lots of cookies and drinks left. So I e-mailed her about the food and got a reply that she will be coming down to get them since she didn’t have lunch yet. I forgot to tell her that the food is in my office and she went to the café instead, and e-mailed me back that all the food are gone. So I went up to her cube and gave her the cookies and had a short conversation.

The next day, I received 3 thank you e-mails from her because she had to work until 12 midnight that day and the cookies were her only dinner lol..

Well, next week, we just plan to have lunch together and know her better since I’ve known her only for 2 weeks. It is long weekend, do you guys think it s a good idea to ask her out? I am not sure if that is too fast and will scare her off and I don’t know if she is single or not haha

Any helpful advise is appreciated !

 

[cluelessasian]

*sniff*..no one?

 

[Docs]

I know nothing but...

I'd say, keep doing what you're doing until you know for sure that you got something going. Right now, it looks like a friendly friendship.

 

[nishbuk]

You are slowly moving into the FRIEND ZONE. This will happen if you don't make a move soon. Next time you go out, try and Kino a bit, and MAKE SURE that you are going out only the two of you. Make good eye contact, and smile at her, while looking at her eyes. Then, if you've been doing your Kino well, and have set the stage properly, go for the kiss.
Normally, I would say get a number, but you already have good rapport with this girl, so getting a number and going out on another date, would probably just seeem like more of stall to her.

Right now she might be testing you (if she's interested).
The test is that she wants to know that you are not super needy, and that you are your own man. You can fail this test two ways:
1) You never leave her alone, and you are calling/talking to her constantly.
2) You do the right thing, and don't talk to her so much, and don't show so much interest, but you fail because you never make a move!

Right now, it's only been two weeks, and it doesn't sound like you talk to her constantly, so I'd say that it's time to make a move!

Be ready, cause she may not be interested! But that's part of the game. If you play it right, you should have no problem making a move on this one. Remember, that Women respond to actions, not to compliments, not to sweet talk, and not to gifts. If you want to show a girl that you like her, you never tell her. You take action, and you Kino her, and Kiss her.
Just don't use your mouth to say these things.
You still sound like you need to review the bible. So I would suggest doing that.

 

[cluelessasian]

the friend zone is what I am trying to avoid. That is also why I keep my conversation short and don't talk to her all the time.

Well, I havent went out with her before and I think the kino and kiss thing is wayyy to fast for the first date. Moreover, we are both asian and usually takes things slower when it comes to the dating scene lol

But I guess you are right, making the move is important

 

[flexion_]

I agree - you are moving into the friendszone. You may already be there.

Ask her out. Make it clear that it is a date.
Her response will dictate how she feels. Don't be afraid of rejection.

 

[red6y2]

Apply some light kino, then slowly work your way up.

 

[cluelessasian]

I understand about the friendzone, that is why i've been keeping my actions in check. But is the "falling into friendzone" thing common in other cultures as well? I believe you are refering to white girls primarily?

 

[joekerr31]

if you are falling into the friends zone then she isnt going to be interested either way.

chics who are into a guy dont think fo them as friends until the guy creates that boundary.

don't rush this just because your afraid she might start thinking of you as a friend.

if shes into you her interest will only grow. if she starts to think of you as a friend, well, thats all she was ever going to see you as anyway then.

J

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Falling into the friends zone has nothing to do with ethnicity or culture, come on guy, don't be an AFC.

By now you should do if she's single or not, and if she's responding to you in a way that says she'd be somewhat interested.

It is time to put up or shut up. You can either get her number, and use it as a test to see if you're already into the friends zone;

I suggest you skip the "asking her for the number part" and suggest you two get together outside of work. That will give you the answer you neeed, though it might not be what you want to hear.

If you're already in the friend zone, then you want to find out NOW, and not once you've invested more time and emotional energy into this one.

 

[cluelessasian]

Originally posted by Gangster Of Love
By now you should do if she's single or not, and if she's responding to you in a way that says she'd be somewhat interested.

It is time to put up or shut up. You can either get her number, and use it as a test to see if you're already into the friends zone;

so i guess by asking her out will show if she is interested or not? That is what i am planning to do next week hehe

and no, I am not an AFC lol

but i guess so far from the conversation i had, she might be interested since she is asking me questions back as well like "how i am doing etc" But from what i can tell, she is the shy type (not overly shy) and definitely not a player or biatch.

 

[joekerr31]

dont ever assume you know what is going on in a chics head.

i recently thought a chic liked me, asked her out, she had a bf. then afterwards she started flirting with me even more.

chics can and will flirt with you because they want attention. they can and will give you ALL the signs to move in and then slam the breaks on last minute.

they do it because they are insecure and relish attention from men. now, they will say they are "just being friendly", but if are crushing on a girl and feel the connection is getting stronger - trust me, she knows whats happening and is letting it happen. women are more intuitive than men and they know when you are interested (even if you think you're covering it up.)

men that women DON'T want any romantic attention from give off a vibe. thats why when you see a woman and you think "damn shes hot" and then talk to her and walk away thinking "what a *****", even if really didn't do anything *****ing - its because she dropped the signals to you that she wasnt interested.

so make your move and if you get shot down don't worry about and don't think you misread the situation - and as such don't worry about seeing her afterwards. know that she liked you on some level, you called her game, and now you are in control. drop your IL in her and watch how she starts to thinka bout whether she missed out on a good thing.

J

 

[KenJones]

I really don't understand why people are so quick to judge that a rendezvous can be classified as "the friendzone".

The only way, by going to a coffee date, you are stuck in the friendzone is if you are unattractive (lookswise) or you reveal too much information to her. Then you start revealing more and more until you simply are friends.

Don't worry about being "in the friendzone" on your coffee date. Just be cool, funny, poke fun at your job and other people in your office (diplomatically). If you're charming enough you won't even have to worry about the friendzone because she'll be far too interested to place you there.

 

[bbestar]

yo, son... Im asian too...
from Uptown Phily pines

Im rooting for you... GO FOR IT!!!

Keep three things in mind on the street

1. Walk Like a Man
2. Finger on the Trigger
3. Rolled 20's in the pocket

you're an uptown asianboi .. haha

 

[nishbuk]

Originally posted by cluelessasian
I understand about the friendzone, that is why i've been keeping my actions in check. But is the "falling into friendzone" thing common in other cultures as well? I believe you are refering to white girls primarily?

What? No, not at all. Where did you get that idea? Girls are girls dude. Cultures don't make any difference on the basic principles.
You said you weren't an AFC??? I understand the basics, and I can get ass now...but that doesn't mean that I'm not an AFC. I'm an RAFC.

 

[aftershock]

I'd say that she doesn't have a boyfriend. If you ask a girl what shes doing at the weekend, and doesn't mention a man, it generally means she doesn't have one.

You've done all of whats required to create attraction, now make the move. He who hesitates, masturbates, as the quote goes. Every day that goes by she is more likely to get asked out.

If she says no, just forget her. Don't get hung upon it.