Hi everyone,
Let me start by saying that even though this is my first post i’ve been a reader of this forum for about a year and a half and that finding this forum was one of the defining moments of my life.
Now the story.
There´s this girl i met 2 years ago and with whom i’ve been in a relationship for over a year now, i liked her from the start and it took me some effort and a very game-focused mindset but we eventually got together, still the relationship was never an easy one, lots of ups and downs, lots of breaks-ups but usually after a few days we where back together, shes 22, i’m 29 and during this time i feel like i’ve put up with a lot of imaturity from her. The relationship always had a huge component of power-games. Anyway, for the past 2 months things we’re looking like they were getting better and the relationship was becoming more stable and getting to the next level, i was more relaxed and i guess i kind of lowered my defenses and indulged myself in some AFC behavior, at the same time i was moving to a different town one-hour away from the town where we both lived, 2 days after a settled in the new town i got a phone call from her saying that she got drunk and cheated on me and that it was all over, after a few hours she came to meet me, we talked while i was feeling like split in two, part of me still looking for a way to fix the situation the other part getting disgusted at the idea of touching let alone getting back together, the point is that she were there still playing a power game and i really had no idea on how to handle the situation, there’s some standards i held sacred and i consider intolerable staying in a relationship when a girl cheates on me, but she was there and we spent the next 2 days having sex event though we were both saying we did not want to get back together, the night after that we we’re together at a party and at some point i was talking with her and she simply turns her back on me to go dancing, we both have had a few drinks, and i went ballistic (i kind of have a temper problem), i got to her and dragged her out of the party by force, we ended up going to her house and she fell asleep as soon as i got her home (she were pretty drunk by then), the next day we were having sex again, but the whole thing was looking more and more pointless and confusing and i decided to leave and take some time off from the whole thing.
Point is: i´m confused like hell, i do like this girl and probably could get the relationship going again if i wanted to but that would have to be on my terms, and still i would be sacrificing my own standards of behavior. And then there’s this power thing, and i hate the idea of her having the last laugh. And on the other hand i’m just tired of the whole thing and just want to get on with my life. I really would aprecciate some feedback from you guys, has any of you ever been on this kind of relatioship? What’s the best way to handle yourself in a situation like this?
Thanks guys.
Let me start by saying that even though this is my first post i’ve been a reader of this forum for about a year and a half and that finding this forum was one of the defining moments of my life.
Now the story.
There´s this girl i met 2 years ago and with whom i’ve been in a relationship for over a year now, i liked her from the start and it took me some effort and a very game-focused mindset but we eventually got together, still the relationship was never an easy one, lots of ups and downs, lots of breaks-ups but usually after a few days we where back together, shes 22, i’m 29 and during this time i feel like i’ve put up with a lot of imaturity from her. The relationship always had a huge component of power-games. Anyway, for the past 2 months things we’re looking like they were getting better and the relationship was becoming more stable and getting to the next level, i was more relaxed and i guess i kind of lowered my defenses and indulged myself in some AFC behavior, at the same time i was moving to a different town one-hour away from the town where we both lived, 2 days after a settled in the new town i got a phone call from her saying that she got drunk and cheated on me and that it was all over, after a few hours she came to meet me, we talked while i was feeling like split in two, part of me still looking for a way to fix the situation the other part getting disgusted at the idea of touching let alone getting back together, the point is that she were there still playing a power game and i really had no idea on how to handle the situation, there’s some standards i held sacred and i consider intolerable staying in a relationship when a girl cheates on me, but she was there and we spent the next 2 days having sex event though we were both saying we did not want to get back together, the night after that we we’re together at a party and at some point i was talking with her and she simply turns her back on me to go dancing, we both have had a few drinks, and i went ballistic (i kind of have a temper problem), i got to her and dragged her out of the party by force, we ended up going to her house and she fell asleep as soon as i got her home (she were pretty drunk by then), the next day we were having sex again, but the whole thing was looking more and more pointless and confusing and i decided to leave and take some time off from the whole thing.
Point is: i´m confused like hell, i do like this girl and probably could get the relationship going again if i wanted to but that would have to be on my terms, and still i would be sacrificing my own standards of behavior. And then there’s this power thing, and i hate the idea of her having the last laugh. And on the other hand i’m just tired of the whole thing and just want to get on with my life. I really would aprecciate some feedback from you guys, has any of you ever been on this kind of relatioship? What’s the best way to handle yourself in a situation like this?
Thanks guys.
