messy love!

coffeeandflowers

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Well i finally acted. I met her for a coffee and i attempted to cut it dead.

She thinks that i'm always going to be there no matter what, but i don't want to be anymore.

I told her that 'I want to cut things loose and get on with my life. I want someone who knows what they want, and that's never gunna be you.'

'I stuck around and gave this relationship a try 'cos i thought it may be worth it, but it's not'

'Whoever you end up with, I hope they make you very happy.'

That was pretty much all i said.

She was a little dumbfounded by it, wondered why we couldn't still remain friends. She then asked me if i was seeing someone, cos she'd have to 'prepare herself for it' incase she saw us out together. She then said that me telling her this wouldn't stop her calling or texting me, and won't stop her flirting with me when we see each other.

Anyway, I said it and i meant it. Haven't contacted her since (Monday) and don't intend to do so.

Thoughts?
 

5string

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After reading the title of this thread, I thought it would be about some chick who squirted on you while you were pounding her into next week. Wrong.

Seriously though. Dump her and find a replacement. Lastly, stay on this site and start reading.
 

BlueShift

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A few members will tell you to just drop contact without an explanation. However, I think it's just common courtesy to give a reason why you are going no-contact. You are on the road to taking back your life, well done.

Here's a good thread to read through -
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056
 

Credos

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coffeeandflowers said:
Well i finally acted. I met her for a coffee and i attempted to cut it dead.

She thinks that i'm always going to be there no matter what, but i don't want to be anymore.

I told her that 'I want to cut things loose and get on with my life. I want someone who knows what they want, and that's never gunna be you.'

'I stuck around and gave this relationship a try 'cos i thought it may be worth it, but it's not'

'Whoever you end up with, I hope they make you very happy.'

That was pretty much all i said.

She was a little dumbfounded by it, wondered why we couldn't still remain friends. She then asked me if i was seeing someone, cos she'd have to 'prepare herself for it' incase she saw us out together. She then said that me telling her this wouldn't stop her calling or texting me, and won't stop her flirting with me when we see each other.

Anyway, I said it and i meant it. Haven't contacted her since (Monday) and don't intend to do so.

Thoughts?
Coffeeandflowers, I like your style mate. Sure you're a little rusty on the edges, but you got potential. You acted like a gentleman and she acted like a child. You're asking for what tactic you should use or whatever, but that's not your style. What you need to do now is focus on yourself for a while. Stop thinking about it so much. Have some fun, go do some activities, action is the best cure for to much thinking. Whatever you do, just stay occupied, get more hobbies.

Keep the no contact up for a while, if you see each other, no need to act like a douche, alwayse stay friendly.

If you meet other women so be it, but no need to start hunting for anything that has arms and legs (as some guys might advice...). However there's also no need to stay loyal to a person that doesn't want you either...

Patience is virtue my friend, give it some time. See how you feel about it in 3-6 months and what she does during this time. Her ex will probably dump her again and she'll come to her senses. She needs time to realise that her ex is crap and needs to get over him. That was your mistake last time and you ended up getting hurt yourself, because you didn't have any patience.

You gotta know that you are taking the risk of losing her, but that's a fact that you can't change anymore. Anyhow, it's a fact with any girl...

If it's meant to be, it'll be, if not, I don't think you got to worry to much. You sound like the kinda guy, that'll solve this kinda problem by yourself, all in due time :). Good luck
 

Gro0ver

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coffeeandflowers said:
I really wanna make this work so if you have some specific do's and don'ts i should employ in getting her back onside and 'worshipping' me that would be great!
Some great advice already dispensed in this thread. It sounds like you've made a big step. Just a thought:

Perhaps with her ex, the whole family thing was perceived as a challenge, and that's part of what continues to make him so attractive? Putting something above her needs. Showing beliefs and values that are more important from pvssy. You can learn something from this guy.

Good luck with the next and make sure you keep spinning.

And avoid onenitis like the plague for god's sake.
 

coffeeandflowers

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Thanks for the kind words guys. Really appreciate it. I feel like i've made an important step.

However, something threw me off course a little yesterday.

I know she's seeing someone else now. Found out via mutual friends.

My reaction is that i'm a little angry that she completely hid this from me clearly hasn't been honest with me.

I feel like i want to confront her and let rip! Should i just leave it?
 
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