Messages..leave'm or not? Whats the deal..

[st_99]

Seems like half say dont leave messages and the other half say defenitly leave a message because if you dont it seems creepy or stalkerish...

So what do you do with a girl you've seen once or twice so far...

Everybody has caller ID so they know you called but do you seem creepy if you dont leave a message?

 

[ntdawg]

There should be a setting on your mobile phone so that you can block your number from caller id. Use this.

When you call if she doesn't answer hang up and she won't know it was you that called. That way you can call again later and she won't think that you are stalking her.

 

[flexion_]

A woman that is interested in you will call you back.

 

[st_99]

Don't leave a message.

If you do it's up to her if she calls you back or not. Keep the ball in your court.

007

but aren't you kind of screwed in this regard because of the caller ID thing.

I dont know, I called this chick yesterday after seeing her twice..didnt leave a message. She may have lost interest but I feel like I should have left a simple message and let it go at that, if she called back great if not next her.
Now I feel like I need to make 1 more attempt with a message. Dont know if I should try tommorow, thursday or next week..wtf.


I should probably add that I banged'er on our first meet on a friday night. Then we went on a dinner date the following thursday..

 

[resilient]

my first phone game

So here's the deal on the first # of my boot camp.

Approached HB7 at club Friday night. Rapport, C+F, kino, 5 mins later # close. I told her I was going to take her out to ice cream next week. Both her and her friend thought it was original and cute. I bump into her again before she's leaving, to say goodnight (hopefully she remembers me at this point, i know her friend was stoked about me.)

So I follow DJ rules and wait to call until Monday. I call once at 6:30 - missed call. I call once more a hour later - missed call.

I also follow DJ rules to not leave message, since the first phone game contact should be live.

Finally, I call again around the same time tonight. No pick up - answering machine. I leave simple message:

"Hey HB, this is Resilient, we met at ___ club downtown Friday night, you owe me ice cream (laugh) anyway... give my # a call back xxx.xxxx, talk to you soon."

If she doesn't respond to this, then I'm deleting #.

I think this is standard with most phone game. I'd like to see more discussion in this thread and how DJs have gotten girls to prevent from flaking. I know senor fingers plays pranks to get them laughing before date closing.

 

[JonJack]

There should be a setting on your mobile phone so that you can block your number from caller id. Use this.

When you call if she doesn't answer hang up and she won't know it was you that called. That way you can call again later and she won't think that you are stalking her.

?
Man! This is the sort of mentality that should be eradicated.

Block your number? What the hell for? Because the girl won't know it's you and she won't assume you're stalking her? Give me a break.

Some of you are putting way too much stock in this whole 'leaving a message' issue.

Bottom line! It doesn't matter whether you leave a message or you don't. You want to know why? Because what you are looking for is the girl's positive response to your actions and she could very well respond positively either way because I'm sure you're not looking for a girl that would go "He didn't leave a message. He's such a jerk. I'm not gonna fvck him now" or "He left me a message. He's desperate and has no life. I'm not gonna fvck him now". How she interprets your actions would be more vital. Leave a message and she could think you're courteous, confident, organized. Don't leave one and she could think you're mysterious, spontaneous, free and easy. But if you're going to have to bend over and jump through burning hoops to get a positive response from her, you're just gonna end up being her lap dog. Say NO to this sort of mentality.

 

[flippinfreak]

Eh... it's the way sosuave has taught me in the past.

Isn't that KBJ jargon?

lol, don't get me going on how that relates to the rest of your message

 

[st_99]

?
Man! This is the sort of mentality that should be eradicated.

Block your number? What the hell for? Because the girl won't know it's you and she won't assume you're stalking her? Give me a break.

Some of you are putting way too much stock in this whole 'leaving a message' issue.

Bottom line! It doesn't matter whether you leave a message or you don't. You want to know why? Because what you are looking for is the girl's positive response to your actions and she could very well respond positively either way because I'm sure you're not looking for a girl that would go "He didn't leave a message. He's such a jerk. I'm not gonna fvck him now" or "He left me a message. He's desperate and has no life. I'm not gonna fvck him now". How she interprets your actions would be more vital. Leave a message and she could think you're courteous, confident, organized. Don't leave one and she could think you're mysterious, spontaneous, free and easy. But if you're going to have to bend over and jump through burning hoops to get a positive response from her, you're just gonna end up being her lap dog. Say NO to this sort of mentality.

I think your dead on with this one and is what I thought. Doesnt really matter and shouldnt make a difference either way.. What girl that has interest is gona say "I cant believe he didnt leave a message, what a wierdo" or "he left a message, what a loser" Bottom line, if she has your # she'll call back if she has interest. Thanks, I think this clears it up..


Maybe the best thing I took from this site thus far....

"But if you're going to have to bend over and jump through burning hoops to get a positive response from her, you're just gonna end up being her lap dog. Say NO to this sort of mentality"

thx JonJack

 

[three12]

st 99,

Sounds like your sorted now. Do not listen to that block your number thing. Then if she answers - you seem stalkerish because you had your number blocked - which seems like your trying to trick her into answering.

I don't normally leave a message, call back as many times as you like. Once I give up on calling, normally 3-4 unanswered calls - at different times. I'll send an sms.

"Hey its three12. Your obviously a busy girl. Wanted to make some plans for xxxxnight. Let me know if your free."

The ball is now in her court. -awesome. I'm an AFC. NO! I'm finished with wasting time on her. She'll either text/call back and we'll make plans. Or shes not interested and she receives no more contact from me, and I have lost nothing. Leaving a message would be a better way to get a date from a semi-interested girl. So long as your message is MORE then just asking for a date.

I don't have voice mail. I wouldn't check it. Many of my friends DO have voice mail, they don't check it. So I assume that many girls are the same. They WILL check their text message.

resilient,

Great to see your out in the field and making number closes. That is awesome. But from my field experience 5 minute number closes are a great way to get flakes.

Dancefloor pickups - body language -> grinding -> making out for 20 minutes -> #closing are also a great way to get flakes.

Of course some of these numbers will turn into dates. More often then not they won't.

You really need to build some rapport through verbal communication. Spend some time with her. Be more then "that guy I met at the club." be "resilient, that really fun guy from the club!"

Keep up the approaching and you'll soon be giving great advice yourself.

three12.

 

[Marlimus]

I leave a message only if I have called the girl twice already and she didn't pick up the phone. Then, I leave a message to the effect that I have a rule against calling a girl more than 3 times without her calling me back. You must say this with an air of cool subtlety, insinuating that unless she calls you back she will never hear from you again. Don't make it sound like an ultimatum.

Most of the time, they call me back. Sometimes, they don't for whatever reason. A woman might find you attractive but have no emotional investment in you. You have to be willing to walk away. Once you leave the message, forget about her. Until she returns that call, she ceases to exist.

 

[resilient]

resilient,

Great to see your out in the field and making number closes. That is awesome. But from my field experience 5 minute number closes are a great way to get flakes.

Dancefloor pickups - body language -> grinding -> making out for 20 minutes -> #closing are also a great way to get flakes.

Of course some of these numbers will turn into dates. More often then not they won't.

You really need to build some rapport through verbal communication. Spend some time with her. Be more then "that guy I met at the club." be "resilient, that really fun guy from the club!"

Keep up the approaching and you'll soon be giving great advice yourself.

three12.

Well the kicker was that I approached with a great opener. I was sober and so were they even though the 2set had drinks in hand. I was really flirty and fun during the set - I could tell they weren't used to man as forward as I was (bootcamp confidence boost yall! ).. I got her CB involved and eliciting value to my target. Although, I think you're right even after 5-10 minutes talking I needed to spend more time in rapport. We talked about our jobs and her braces (silly, cheesy, but I told her the last girl I kissed had braces - nice SOI from me and they ate it up!). I thought my kino escalation was getting good and I ended on a high note.

Maybe she's got a b/f or guys already lined up. Who knows. I'm thinking of trying one more call in a few days - a script I rescripted from senor fingers. It's really funny. If she doesn't call me back by this last attempt, her # is as good as gone.

I wasn't drooling or looking too needy, but I need to get my first day2 soon. Pressure is mounting to get 10#s for week 5 bootcamp :nervous: I might have to turn into an approach machine if I don't start getting more successful closes. :crackup: