Mentally lacking, many of you

[EyeOnThePrize]

OP this sounds like a classic case of BPD. You saw the need to come here and seek guidance but now see yourself as far superior. Going from one extreme to the other and speaking in generalities. I think you assume too much and are making up an elaborate story in your mind and believing that story too strongly. You don't need to identify with thoughts in order to use thoughts. Just like a monitor doesn't need to be hot to display a volcano or a fire.

 

[stovepipe]

You win douchiest post of 2019. Congrats there Murkserious!

 

[captain55]

I’ve come to the conclusion that meeting and connecting with women is easy. It’s easy for me with my many flaws most of you like to point out.

If you’re hitting gym and living life, the reason you are struggling is because your ugly, facially just not attractive, or weird, socially inept, basically mentally lacking. Too much basement dwelling overthinking and delusions of grandeur.

The game is easy, it’s so fvcking easy that you only fail if you don’t set realistic expectations (if you’re a 6 you won’t get a 9), or just so mentally inept you repel the decent women.

I’m thinking of leaving the forum because I just don’t synergise or relate with most of the **** you guys post.

I’ll get back to you on this one. Still trying to work it out. My hunch is that it’s down to mental deficit which, of course, can/will never be accepted, who wants to admit they’re subpar?

If a guy is decent looking, has a social life, playing the numbers game, and struggling to get laid with 6’s there could be a mental problem upstairs. Not all men have the same taste though. If you want to play in the big leagues (aka go for the hottest women) you better prepared for alot of rejection, flakyness, and you better have some thick skin. Can’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t work out...hot women have a list of alpha males to chose from. Don’t worry about what you could of said, how you could of acted, etc. that other guy just got there first

 

[Spaz]

If a guy is decent looking, has a social life, playing the numbers game, and struggling to get laid with 6’s there could be a mental problem upstairs. Not all men have the same taste though. If you want to play in the big leagues (aka go for the hottest women) you better prepared for alot of rejection, flakyness, and you better have some thick skin. Can’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t work out...hot women have a list of alpha males to chose from. Don’t worry about what you could of said, how you could of acted, etc. that other guy just got there first

Playing the numbers game.

Does it mean approaching random hot women in the clubs, on the streets or on Tinder and then hoping for lady luck to strike?

If this is what Sosuave members teaches other members then it's no wonder they all end up confused, frustrated, doubtful of "game" which in all probability leads to the loss of self confidence and demotivating anyone further.

Even the preacher ultimately ends up the same.

It's not sustainable because it depends on looks and a bunch of tricks, and the worse part is those tricks are actually written by women, sure it's not said out loud but it's said often enough that guys pick on it and think it's a godsend.

By then power swings into their favor.

You are no longer in charge, she is and you the man are playing a submissive role with the illusion of power or being manly.

That's when you lost attraction and she'll wonder why she lost that attraction when you tick all her boxes.

Because it's not the natural order.

Why can't you guys cultivate a social network, be great and then allow women to seduce you instead?

If only one or 2 women thinks you're a great guy, she'll introduce you to her other female friends, just to show off and thereby increase her influence in their feline pecking order. That's the natural order for women.

Then from there it goes on and on and on until you're got an unlimited options to choose from.

Women by nature are so competitive when it comes to men.

Let them compete.

Why are you competing if u r a great guy?

 

[zekko]

Playing the numbers game.

Does it mean approaching random hot women in the clubs, on the streets or on Tinder and then hoping for lady luck to strike?

If this is what Sosuave members teaches other members then it's no wonder they all end up confused, frustrated, doubtful of "game" which in all probability leads to the loss of self confidence and demotivating anyone further.

Playing the numbers game can work for some, but not every guy is going to withstand all the rejections that are inherent to such an approach. As you say, it can mess with some guys self confidence.

Cultivating social groups can be time consuming, but so can cold approaching. The advantage with social groups is there are better odds of success because you can get to know something about your target before dating her. Plus you will have automatic social proof, you're pre-approved by the group. You have to find the approach that works best for you.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I’ve come to the conclusion that meeting and connecting with women is easy. It’s easy for me with my many flaws most of you like to point out.

If you’re hitting gym and living life, the reason you are struggling is because your ugly, facially just not attractive, or weird, socially inept, basically mentally lacking. Too much basement dwelling overthinking and delusions of grandeur.

The game is easy, it’s so fvcking easy that you only fail if you don’t set realistic expectations (if you’re a 6 you won’t get a 9), or just so mentally inept you repel the decent women.

I’m thinking of leaving the forum because I just don’t synergise or relate with most of the **** you guys post.

I’ll get back to you on this one. Still trying to work it out. My hunch is that it’s down to mental deficit which, of course, can/will never be accepted, who wants to admit they’re subpar?

I see 5 and 6s with the hottest females

 

[Spaz]

Playing the numbers game can work for some, but not every guy is going to withstand all the rejections that are inherent to such an approach. As you say, it can mess with some guys self confidence.

Cultivating social groups can be time consuming, but so can cold approaching. The advantage with social groups is there are better odds of success because you can get to know something about your target before dating her. Plus you will have automatic social proof, you're pre-approved by the group. You have to find the approach that works best for you.

Of course it works for some, sure they get results but they get dumped in the end since all they did was being superficial and preying/manipulating on women's insecurities.

Superficiality and manipulation are the domains of women or the feminine.

When a man is so focused on pulling power, he's going to psyche himself into being more feminine, trying to look the prettiest and coming up with all sorts of trickery to please women.

What it does is make a man lose his masculine power, slowly but surely, a progression that takes place over time even to the tune of coming up with nonsensical ideas like being egoless just so you can give more love to women, trying to buy their affections, this is after finding out that trying all sorts of tricks in their book of trickery - it just doesn't work, there's no true sustainability.

When there's no sustainability, a man will keep on inventing new tricks, a never ending cycle of frustration but always getting the same results.

In the end, the ultimate attraction is always masculine power, its a confluence of traits or abilities to have with looks just being a mere bonus factor.

There is no need for tricks. There is no need for game. There is no need to look the prettiest.

The superficial will always in the end lose out.

 

[Trump]

Why can't you guys cultivate a social network, be great and then allow women to seduce you instead?

If only one or 2 women thinks you're a great guy, she'll introduce you to her other female friends, just to show off and thereby increase her influence in their feline pecking order. That's the natural order for women.

Then from there it goes on and on and on until you're got an unlimited options to choose from.

Women by nature are so competitive when it comes to men.

Let them compete.

Come on Spaz, sometimes your advice is good but this way too much theory. You act as though cultivating a social network is like eating chocolate cake.

How is a man to cultivate a social network? He has to find a hobby or job where there are single available decent looking girls with no children looking for a man. The man has to enjoy the hobby, the woman also has to enjoy the hobby. She has to be SINGLE, CHILDLESS, and willing to talk to the man during the hobby or outside the hobby. The man is likely in competition with other men as well. It’s also unlikely any guy can even enjoy the hobby when all he is thinking about is “who can I quickly have sex with and be the mother of my children?”

And let’s say after all that, the man does meet a girl in this social network and connect with her, but she is taken or has kids. She’s going to introduce her single available decent looking childless friends to the man? If anything, she would bad mouth him so no one else gets him. And also if anything, if any MAN in that social network finds out, he would bad mouth him as well.

I love it when you say “and allow the women to seduce you.” In 2019, men would fly across the Pacific Ocean if there was a chance they would be able to sleep with a 7/10. But in a social network men they have to fend off the sexual advances of beautiful women?

I swear either you are living in Hollywood or are magnificent looking because real life doesn’t work the way you are talking about. It’s good to cultivate a social network, but there is no way any single available decent looking girl is going to take off her clothes for you.

 

[Spaz]

Come on Spaz, sometimes your advice is good but this way too much theory. You act as though cultivating a social network is like eating chocolate cake.

How is a man to cultivate a social network? He has to find a hobby or job where there are single available decent looking girls with no children looking for a man. The man has to enjoy the hobby, the woman also has to enjoy the hobby. She has to be SINGLE, CHILDLESS, and willing to talk to the man during the hobby or outside the hobby. The man is likely in competition with other men as well. It’s also unlikely any guy can even enjoy the hobby when all he is thinking about is “who can I quickly have sex with and be the mother of my children?”

And let’s say after all that, the man does meet a girl in this social network and connect with her, but she is taken or has kids. She’s going to introduce her single available decent looking childless friends to the man? If anything, she would bad mouth him so no one else gets him. And also if anything, if any MAN in that social network finds out, he would bad mouth him as well.

I love it when you say “and allow the women to seduce you.” In 2019, men would fly across the Pacific Ocean if there was a chance they would be able to sleep with a 7/10. But in a social network men they have to fend off the sexual advances of beautiful women?

I swear either you are living in Hollywood or are magnificent looking because real life doesn’t work the way you are talking about. It’s good to cultivate a social network, but there is no way any single available decent looking girl is going to take off her clothes for you.

You mean a man must live in Hollywood to have a social presence?

Here's a tip to make you famous;

Since you say u r an incredible investor that churns out millions by the minute or hour, why don't you offer to give a talk to on how you do ur job to university students or to young enthusiastic people ?

Does that not give you social presence?

Does it not increase ur influence?

Do you not dominate that setting and considered a figure of authority?

Does it not portray power?

If you so happen to place ur business card on the table...

What you think will happen?

Come'on Mr. Multimillionaire, you can't be this naive to not know this.

Because I get invited to give talks and after that during tea or snack time, all those wide eyed beauties would find ways and means to connect.

 

[Murk]

@Murkserious I like that word subpar.

It’s a great word for the lexicon.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Absolutely. I'll qualify my statement by saying it's an ideal situation for an experienced guy looking for short-term fun.

The inexperienced guy can definitely get his heart crushed by such a situation though. I will add that plenty of hotter women DO have cool personalities and are nice people because they have received lots of positive feedback. So the inexperienced guy will feel that he has met his DREAM GIRL because she's hot AND has a good personality AND she's attracted to him. So yes, the guy could well become the "Stage 4 clinger."*

*When there is a serious looks mismatch, usually the less attractive person is more at risk of becoming the clinger.

As far as HB9s wanting such guys to fall for them, yes, I agree. She might be used to bhanging bad boy Chads that keep a "distance." But she tries to get that emotional validation from the "nice guy" that worships her**.

**As I mentioned before, this allows her to tolerate the distant/aloof bad boy. The nice guy helps the bad boy keep his plate. The nice guy's "soft pillow" prevents her from boiling over with rage and dumping the bad boy because he's being an a-hole to her lol.

The "soft pillow" theory is correct. She wont get emotional or any other support from "bad boy". The nice guy is there to love her and help her. He gets occasional crumbs of sex and affection. The "bad boy" is used for sex. He gets all of her and she wants to capture him. Bad boy pump and dumps. He doesnt hardly respond.

 

[Spaz]

It’s a great word for the lexicon.

I can see that.

 

[ubercat]

Wow. We really need to add SoSuave syndrome to the DSDM. A whole bunch of guys who come here and in their first posts they're a little bit confused about women and they've got pretty average lives. then a year or so later they're telling other grown man how to live their lives have a bevy of beauties competing for their **** and are captains of Industry.

not sure why they are posting here they should be writing their motivational book with a success trajectory like that I would read it.

And the standard end phase of sosuave syndrome is they drink too much of their own Kool Aid start the flaming other members and get banned.

so for the newbies just remember like everything in life most people don't let the truth get in the way of a good story

 

[user43770]

@Murkserious this forum attracts men that have problems with women, which aren't always related to initial attraction. Plenty of guys find this forum after a recent divorce or break-up. And I need to apologize to @Epic Days, because those guys do need to learn about hypergamy, and they're showing up all the time.

You may be able to pull them, Murk, but I've damn sure seen you post quite a bit looking for advice on how to deal with them.

 

[user43770]

The "soft pillow" theory is correct. She wont get emotional or any other support from "bad boy". The nice guy is there to love her and help her. He gets occasional crumbs of sex and affection. The "bad boy" is used for sex. He gets all of her and she wants to capture him. Bad boy pump and dumps. He doesnt hardly respond.

If the "bad boy" is regularly pumping and dumping, he's obviously lowering his standards to some degree.

Guys that aren't that good-looking could be doing the same, if they had realistic expectations, which Mike32 mentioned.

Problem is, all guys want the hottest women around, which is the male version of hypergamy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If the "bad boy" is regularly pumping and dumping, he's obviously lowering his standards to some degree.

Guys that aren't that good-looking could be doing the same, if they had realistic expectations, which Mike32 mentioned.

Problem is, all guys want the hottest women around, which is the male version of hypergamy.

Females choose. Female must invest. Sex early and often.

 

[user43770]

Playing the numbers game.

Does it mean approaching random hot women in the clubs, on the streets or on Tinder and then hoping for lady luck to strike?

If this is what Sosuave members teaches other members then it's no wonder they all end up confused, frustrated, doubtful of "game" which in all probability leads to the loss of self confidence and demotivating anyone further.

Even the preacher ultimately ends up the same.

It's not sustainable because it depends on looks and a bunch of tricks, and the worse part is those tricks are actually written by women, sure it's not said out loud but it's said often enough that guys pick on it and think it's a godsend.

By then power swings into their favor.

You are no longer in charge, she is and you the man are playing a submissive role with the illusion of power or being manly.

That's when you lost attraction and she'll wonder why she lost that attraction when you tick all her boxes.

Because it's not the natural order.

Why can't you guys cultivate a social network, be great and then allow women to seduce you instead?

If only one or 2 women thinks you're a great guy, she'll introduce you to her other female friends, just to show off and thereby increase her influence in their feline pecking order. That's the natural order for women.

Then from there it goes on and on and on until you're got an unlimited options to choose from.

Women by nature are so competitive when it comes to men.

Let them compete.

Why are you competing if u r a great guy?

Women are the ultimate choosers. That part is out of our control. It doesn't matter how much you improve yourself, women still have the most choice.

Approaching random women you're attracted to isn't just about getting laid; it's also about getting out of your comfort zone, getting better at talking to women and learning to accept rejection.

 

[user43770]

Females choose. Female must invest. Sex early and often.

Females ultimately choose, for sure. What they choose to invest is a whole new ballgame; one you shouldn't be concerned with. Read some anti-dump: filter, filter, filter...until you find a woman that wants you more than you want her.

I was saying that a guy could be having sex regularly if he lowered his standards enough. If all you want is to be the bad boy, then you can be it.

If you want to punch above your weight class a little, then the lays are going to be fewer and further between. And you're going to have to get good at chatting women up.

Edit - not you specifically @mrgoodstuff, just saying

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Of course it works for some, sure they get results but they get dumped in the end since all they did was being superficial and preying/manipulating on women's insecurities.

Superficiality and manipulation are the domains of women or the feminine.

When a man is so focused on pulling power, he's going to psyche himself into being more feminine, trying to look the prettiest and coming up with all sorts of trickery to please women.

What it does is make a man lose his masculine power, slowly but surely, a progression that takes place over time even to the tune of coming up with nonsensical ideas like being egoless just so you can give more love to women, trying to buy their affections, this is after finding out that trying all sorts of tricks in their book of trickery - it just doesn't work, there's no true sustainability.

When there's no sustainability, a man will keep on inventing new tricks, a never ending cycle of frustration but always getting the same results.

In the end, the ultimate attraction is always masculine power, its a confluence of traits or abilities to have with looks just being a mere bonus factor.

There is no need for tricks. There is no need for game. There is no need to look the prettiest.

The superficial will always in the end lose out.

Yes, do not try to turn yourself into a walking dildo for women. If you have this fantasy, you probably need to work on yourself and overcome an over-inflated ego and a bloated libido. The two often go hand in hand.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Women are the ultimate choosers. That part is out of our control. It doesn't matter how much you improve yourself, women still have the most choice.

Approaching random women you're attracted to isn't just about getting laid; it's also about getting out of your comfort zone, getting better at talking to women and learning to accept rejection.

There's an nuanced approach to this approach. Instead of complete 'cold' approach, look to RESPOND to some interest a woman had given to get your attention, and only respond IF you are attracted [this could be called 'warm' approach]. This is probably the natural and spontaneous way it works for most men. You may not have as many interactions, but the odds are those interactions are going to go further. It's a natural way of screening, and one where you have other things on your mind besides women.

I think the reality that most are not willing to face is that we are actually 'wired' to be intimate with very few people in life. We're given an illusion of unlimited choice, like a kid in a lolly shop, or a woman in a supermarket, and told to go for it.