Men women love (MSN Article)
- Thread starter 00Kevin
- Start date
1. The jock
It's not all about being cut and having nice, tight abs — though those attributes certainly have their appeal. What we like about you is that you're not one of life's spectators. You're active, out there and doing things, and your energy is sexy. Bonus points if you admire and encourage our athleticism, too.
2. The intellectual
Conversations with you are full of happy surprises. We don't know how you keep track of all of those historical, scientific, political and other tidbits, but you sure keep us entertained with what you know. And you can't imagine what a pleasure it is to be with a guy who appreciates our smarts as well.
3. The creative type
Dating you can be a bit of a wild ride — but that's fine with us; we crave the unconventional. Whether it's your way with wordplay, your eye-opening perspectives on popular culture, or just your knack for finding a great new independent film, band or restaurant, you keep us on our toes. No need to worry about getting stuck in a mainstream rut with you.
4. The family man
Oh, the joy of dating a man who does not complain incessantly about his parents and who loves the idea of starting a family of his own. And let's be honest here: When you're happy to join us on a Saturday matinee outing with our kids or nieces and nephews, our hearts do skip a beat. It may not be flashy, but stability has its own brand of sex appeal.
5. The strong silent type
Silent doesn't mean uncommunicative. It signifies a comfort level between us that doesn't require constant idle chatter. You say more with one look than dozens of guys have managed to tell us with their best dating routines. You have a thousand times more confidence (the quiet kind, not the screaming ego variety) than they ever did, and that makes us fall hard for you.
6. The genuine nice guy
Women say they want a nice guy … and they do. Who wouldn't appreciate a guy who calls when he says he will, remembers our birthdays and other important moments in our lives, and actually listens to us? You may think, "Big deal, anyone can do that." But not everyone does. You do, and that makes you incredibly special to us. [/B][/QUOTE]
Translation:
1. He may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he has a body you can parade to everyone, especially since people fill stadiums to see him.
2. We'll argue with you, realize we're wrong, and then deny it. Oh yeah, did we mention intelligence does NOTHING for us at all? That it's not even remotely related to sexuality?
3. I can paint my nails black, listen to Blink182 and be a rebel with you!
4. When I'm 44 and I've f*cked 4032 guys, I"ll call you up.
5. Why aren't you talking? Something must be wrong with you! Like, whatever. You're BORING!
[note: I tried "strong silent" method in AFC days and got nowhere. It involves standing around, looking like a Holleywood toughguy and waiting for women to approach. What horrible advice.]
6. Yeah that's right, b*tch, take it up the @$$! Buy me that f*cking thing over there or I'll won't ever, ever f*ck you (even though I won't anyway). HAHAHA guys are so dumb!
[Is there ANYONE on SoSuave that HASN'T gone down this road and failed miserably?]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right. I love how it only mentions what WOMEN want. This is nothing but candy-coated bull-sh*t that will surely delude hundreds of femenized men. Boy am I glad I found this site.
It's not all about being cut and having nice, tight abs — though those attributes certainly have their appeal. What we like about you is that you're not one of life's spectators. You're active, out there and doing things, and your energy is sexy. Bonus points if you admire and encourage our athleticism, too.
2. The intellectual
Conversations with you are full of happy surprises. We don't know how you keep track of all of those historical, scientific, political and other tidbits, but you sure keep us entertained with what you know. And you can't imagine what a pleasure it is to be with a guy who appreciates our smarts as well.
3. The creative type
Dating you can be a bit of a wild ride — but that's fine with us; we crave the unconventional. Whether it's your way with wordplay, your eye-opening perspectives on popular culture, or just your knack for finding a great new independent film, band or restaurant, you keep us on our toes. No need to worry about getting stuck in a mainstream rut with you.
4. The family man
Oh, the joy of dating a man who does not complain incessantly about his parents and who loves the idea of starting a family of his own. And let's be honest here: When you're happy to join us on a Saturday matinee outing with our kids or nieces and nephews, our hearts do skip a beat. It may not be flashy, but stability has its own brand of sex appeal.
5. The strong silent type
Silent doesn't mean uncommunicative. It signifies a comfort level between us that doesn't require constant idle chatter. You say more with one look than dozens of guys have managed to tell us with their best dating routines. You have a thousand times more confidence (the quiet kind, not the screaming ego variety) than they ever did, and that makes us fall hard for you.
6. The genuine nice guy
Women say they want a nice guy … and they do. Who wouldn't appreciate a guy who calls when he says he will, remembers our birthdays and other important moments in our lives, and actually listens to us? You may think, "Big deal, anyone can do that." But not everyone does. You do, and that makes you incredibly special to us. [/B][/QUOTE]
Translation:
1. He may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he has a body you can parade to everyone, especially since people fill stadiums to see him.
2. We'll argue with you, realize we're wrong, and then deny it. Oh yeah, did we mention intelligence does NOTHING for us at all? That it's not even remotely related to sexuality?
3. I can paint my nails black, listen to Blink182 and be a rebel with you!
4. When I'm 44 and I've f*cked 4032 guys, I"ll call you up.
5. Why aren't you talking? Something must be wrong with you! Like, whatever. You're BORING!
[note: I tried "strong silent" method in AFC days and got nowhere. It involves standing around, looking like a Holleywood toughguy and waiting for women to approach. What horrible advice.]
6. Yeah that's right, b*tch, take it up the @$$! Buy me that f*cking thing over there or I'll won't ever, ever f*ck you (even though I won't anyway). HAHAHA guys are so dumb!
[Is there ANYONE on SoSuave that HASN'T gone down this road and failed miserably?]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right. I love how it only mentions what WOMEN want. This is nothing but candy-coated bull-sh*t that will surely delude hundreds of femenized men. Boy am I glad I found this site.
Pardon me if I disagree a bit, but except for the "nice guys" one, I'd say these are reasonable expectations -- and realistic feedback. Which is unusual, because most times women do a lousy job of expressing what they want in a man.
Mind you, they're not saying a guy has to have all these traits. Rather, these are some traits many women find attractive. Some like jocks. Others like the creative types. Still others might like combinations of jock/creative, or silent/family man, whatever. And I'm sure many categories were overlooked.
But the "nice guys" one is enough to throw a lot of men way off track. I'll never buy that.
Mind you, they're not saying a guy has to have all these traits. Rather, these are some traits many women find attractive. Some like jocks. Others like the creative types. Still others might like combinations of jock/creative, or silent/family man, whatever. And I'm sure many categories were overlooked.
But the "nice guys" one is enough to throw a lot of men way off track. I'll never buy that.
Chemistry
Master Don Juan
Well, it is true for the most part...
All the points besides #4 and #6 can be found in some form or variation in the DJ Bible...
It's just #4 and #6 that sound ridiculous...
All the points besides #4 and #6 can be found in some form or variation in the DJ Bible...
It's just #4 and #6 that sound ridiculous...
Player_Supreme
Banned
I think this article is more on point...don't ask for the source, I don't play that game:
What a Woman Wants to Feel
Women tend to have more preconditions than do men concerning sexual contact. They need to feel that more criteria have been fulfilled. These criteria, these values, these keywords you should allude to liberally in conversation, so that the woman has the sense that they are being met.
You should stimulate and induce them, using images and metaphors. You should reinforce them, using Proof by Enjoyable Analogy. What are these criteria? Here are some common ones:
1. Physical safety
2. Emotional connection
3. Trust
4. Destiny
5. Surrender to something greater than herself
6. Emotional variety
Physical safety is important to a woman because she rarely loses
sight of the fact that she’s physically vulnerable. Almost any male she encounters would be able to physically overpower her. Much of the function of her male mate is to protect her, and having a man who can defend her physically tends to be important, if not necessarily consciously. Talking about physical safety directly tends to produce thoughts of physical danger, and might even make her frightened by you, so it’s much better to talk about states of relaxation and comfort. These states imply inducing a
sense of physical safety, without making her think of falling off a cliff or being attacked while walking to her car.
“Destiny” and “surrender” are particularly revealing, particularly
important. Sex can be so meaningful for a woman, so dangerous and powerful, that it’s easier for her to experience it if she can disown responsibility. She’ll therefore rationalize: Sex wasn’t her idea, it wasn’t your idea—it just happened. It was destiny. It wasn’t planned—she was swept away. Her passions were overwhelming. It just happened. It was
meant to be. This also reflects the feminine emphasis on the irrational and nonlogical, and the belief that the Unknown easily sweeps aside human plans. Women tend to believe that when something is unplanned, when something overpowers human thought and intention, it’s more valid and more true. In fact, the notion of destiny is so commonly applied that it seems to be a built-in category, a built-in criterion, a built-in test as to how
she feels about a relationship. When she feels really really good about a sexual situation, then it was meant to be. If she stops feeling good about it, then it wasn’t meant to be—but, hey, there’s this really cute, really fun guy she just met—and maybe…maybe a relationship with him is just… meant
to be… Surrender is similar—sex, for a woman, should be a matter of giving in to something overwhelming—giving in to an overwhelming passion, to something that’s so right that she has no choice in the matter.
At most, her only choice should be whether, or when, to recognize the inevitability of the situation. Look, this is not the most pleasant of thoughts, but in the real world, in practice, most women, to feel as strongly as they wish, need to feel that some outside agency is causing things to happen—
that they are passive and receptive, and that fate, or destiny, or passion, or an overwhelmingly powerful man is taking responsibility for what she is feeling. She wants to feel that the thing she’s dealing with is so powerful that she can be passive and enjoy responding to the rich variety of feelings
this powerful thing is eliciting. This brings up another matter: emotional variety. Women like using all their emotional muscles—they like feeling happy and sad and proud and
humiliated and wanted and unwanted. They want to you hit every note on the keyboard, at least once in a while. If you only seek to elicit happy-face emotions in a woman, she will feel bored. She will feel unchallenged. She will feel as if the relationship is incomplete, and that she’s not pushing
herself and not developing herself. And the negative emotions she experiences as part of a relationship often validate the depth and importance of that relationship for her. “Oh, if he can make me feel Negative Emotion X and yet I still love him, this must be a really important
relationship! This is the real thing! This is fate! This was meant to be!”
When a woman dumps a man, it’s usually not because of the
negative emotions he was inducing—it’s usually because the positive
emotions he was inducing weren’t strong enough. Now, as a side note, I
don’t particularly like these conclusions. When I was very young, I certainly
wouldn’t have accepted them--I thought men and women were pretty much
the same, and any differences were just products of culture, early
childhood programming, etc. But no—culture has a strong impact, yet men
and women are basically wired in different ways. Behavior that can seem
rude and pointless to men—that is, being a ****-- can feel like an exciting
emotional workout to women.
A woman tends to yearn for a sense of safety—she therefore is
drawn to “strength” (e.g., dominance), and often needs to feel that the man
she’s with is strong. Oftentimes “*****y” behavior is an attempt to elicit a
show of dominance from you. Because a woman wants you to be “strong,”
she will also typically provide opportunities for you to demonstrate strength
and earn her respect; she can do this by playing the needy, helpless, Lost
Little Girl; by teasing you and inviting you to tease her in return; or by
seeming argumentative, hostile, and uncooperative.
A woman tends to identify with the “strength” of the man she’s
involved with—that is, when he acts in aggressive, resolute, forceful ways,
it makes her feel good. That often also applies to “strong” behaviors
toward her; a woman often interprets your ability to be aggressive/ resolute/
forceful/ dominant/ obnoxious toward her as a measure of how well you
could protect her from others’ aggression, if the need arose. Whereas a
man tends to choose a woman primarily for her beauty, a woman tends to
choose a man because that man embodies characteristics she would like
to embody; a woman wants a man she would, on some level, like to be. For
the record, the practice of identifying with the strength of another is of
course a fair description of the structure of masochism—and female
fantasies often have a strong masochistic element.
She will often enjoy it when you express dominance, relative to
others and to her. Mocking her and using baby-talk both tend to make her
feel good—or rather, reassure her of your relative power, and thereby
make her feel good.
Along with emotional variety and the sense that she’s on an
emotional roller-coaster, along with the sense of surrendering to something
greater, women are often inspired by competition, and more to the point,
competition for a particular man. Remember, whereas men tend to be
interested in having lots and lots of beautiful women, having more and
more external experiences, women want tend to be more interested in one,
infinitely deep experience—that is, capturing a man who can lead her to
ever more emotionally powerful experiences. Therefore, as we’ll discuss in
greater detail later, women want The One Perfect Guy—and see
themselves competing with other women for The One. Prior to sexual
involvement (and the intense emotions which sex can unleash in a
woman), it’s efficient for a woman to rely on the judgment of other women.
Prior to sexual bonding, the opinions of her friends, and of other women
around you, have a strong impact on her. If there’s evidence that other
women find you attractive, you immediately become much more valuable.
Though men tend to be the ones who get up and march across the
bar to meet women, women see themselves as catching men. They
therefore respond strongly to rejection. When there’s a subtle rejection, or
there’s less interest than expected, a woman often has an internal
response of “I’ll show him! I’ll make this guy like me!” Finally, a women
typically has the sense that somewhere out there is The One—the perfectly
fitting guy, the one who can make her feel challenged and complete and
fulfilled, the one who can hit every key on her emotional piano.
Also, remember that a woman wants more—she wants to be
reminded that she can feel more and deeper and more powerful emotions than she’s felt thus far. Oftentimes, simply alluding to the idea of experiencing more will induce strong rapport.
What a Woman Wants to Feel
Women tend to have more preconditions than do men concerning sexual contact. They need to feel that more criteria have been fulfilled. These criteria, these values, these keywords you should allude to liberally in conversation, so that the woman has the sense that they are being met.
You should stimulate and induce them, using images and metaphors. You should reinforce them, using Proof by Enjoyable Analogy. What are these criteria? Here are some common ones:
1. Physical safety
2. Emotional connection
3. Trust
4. Destiny
5. Surrender to something greater than herself
6. Emotional variety
Physical safety is important to a woman because she rarely loses
sight of the fact that she’s physically vulnerable. Almost any male she encounters would be able to physically overpower her. Much of the function of her male mate is to protect her, and having a man who can defend her physically tends to be important, if not necessarily consciously. Talking about physical safety directly tends to produce thoughts of physical danger, and might even make her frightened by you, so it’s much better to talk about states of relaxation and comfort. These states imply inducing a
sense of physical safety, without making her think of falling off a cliff or being attacked while walking to her car.
“Destiny” and “surrender” are particularly revealing, particularly
important. Sex can be so meaningful for a woman, so dangerous and powerful, that it’s easier for her to experience it if she can disown responsibility. She’ll therefore rationalize: Sex wasn’t her idea, it wasn’t your idea—it just happened. It was destiny. It wasn’t planned—she was swept away. Her passions were overwhelming. It just happened. It was
meant to be. This also reflects the feminine emphasis on the irrational and nonlogical, and the belief that the Unknown easily sweeps aside human plans. Women tend to believe that when something is unplanned, when something overpowers human thought and intention, it’s more valid and more true. In fact, the notion of destiny is so commonly applied that it seems to be a built-in category, a built-in criterion, a built-in test as to how
she feels about a relationship. When she feels really really good about a sexual situation, then it was meant to be. If she stops feeling good about it, then it wasn’t meant to be—but, hey, there’s this really cute, really fun guy she just met—and maybe…maybe a relationship with him is just… meant
to be… Surrender is similar—sex, for a woman, should be a matter of giving in to something overwhelming—giving in to an overwhelming passion, to something that’s so right that she has no choice in the matter.
At most, her only choice should be whether, or when, to recognize the inevitability of the situation. Look, this is not the most pleasant of thoughts, but in the real world, in practice, most women, to feel as strongly as they wish, need to feel that some outside agency is causing things to happen—
that they are passive and receptive, and that fate, or destiny, or passion, or an overwhelmingly powerful man is taking responsibility for what she is feeling. She wants to feel that the thing she’s dealing with is so powerful that she can be passive and enjoy responding to the rich variety of feelings
this powerful thing is eliciting. This brings up another matter: emotional variety. Women like using all their emotional muscles—they like feeling happy and sad and proud and
humiliated and wanted and unwanted. They want to you hit every note on the keyboard, at least once in a while. If you only seek to elicit happy-face emotions in a woman, she will feel bored. She will feel unchallenged. She will feel as if the relationship is incomplete, and that she’s not pushing
herself and not developing herself. And the negative emotions she experiences as part of a relationship often validate the depth and importance of that relationship for her. “Oh, if he can make me feel Negative Emotion X and yet I still love him, this must be a really important
relationship! This is the real thing! This is fate! This was meant to be!”
When a woman dumps a man, it’s usually not because of the
negative emotions he was inducing—it’s usually because the positive
emotions he was inducing weren’t strong enough. Now, as a side note, I
don’t particularly like these conclusions. When I was very young, I certainly
wouldn’t have accepted them--I thought men and women were pretty much
the same, and any differences were just products of culture, early
childhood programming, etc. But no—culture has a strong impact, yet men
and women are basically wired in different ways. Behavior that can seem
rude and pointless to men—that is, being a ****-- can feel like an exciting
emotional workout to women.
A woman tends to yearn for a sense of safety—she therefore is
drawn to “strength” (e.g., dominance), and often needs to feel that the man
she’s with is strong. Oftentimes “*****y” behavior is an attempt to elicit a
show of dominance from you. Because a woman wants you to be “strong,”
she will also typically provide opportunities for you to demonstrate strength
and earn her respect; she can do this by playing the needy, helpless, Lost
Little Girl; by teasing you and inviting you to tease her in return; or by
seeming argumentative, hostile, and uncooperative.
A woman tends to identify with the “strength” of the man she’s
involved with—that is, when he acts in aggressive, resolute, forceful ways,
it makes her feel good. That often also applies to “strong” behaviors
toward her; a woman often interprets your ability to be aggressive/ resolute/
forceful/ dominant/ obnoxious toward her as a measure of how well you
could protect her from others’ aggression, if the need arose. Whereas a
man tends to choose a woman primarily for her beauty, a woman tends to
choose a man because that man embodies characteristics she would like
to embody; a woman wants a man she would, on some level, like to be. For
the record, the practice of identifying with the strength of another is of
course a fair description of the structure of masochism—and female
fantasies often have a strong masochistic element.
She will often enjoy it when you express dominance, relative to
others and to her. Mocking her and using baby-talk both tend to make her
feel good—or rather, reassure her of your relative power, and thereby
make her feel good.
Along with emotional variety and the sense that she’s on an
emotional roller-coaster, along with the sense of surrendering to something
greater, women are often inspired by competition, and more to the point,
competition for a particular man. Remember, whereas men tend to be
interested in having lots and lots of beautiful women, having more and
more external experiences, women want tend to be more interested in one,
infinitely deep experience—that is, capturing a man who can lead her to
ever more emotionally powerful experiences. Therefore, as we’ll discuss in
greater detail later, women want The One Perfect Guy—and see
themselves competing with other women for The One. Prior to sexual
involvement (and the intense emotions which sex can unleash in a
woman), it’s efficient for a woman to rely on the judgment of other women.
Prior to sexual bonding, the opinions of her friends, and of other women
around you, have a strong impact on her. If there’s evidence that other
women find you attractive, you immediately become much more valuable.
Though men tend to be the ones who get up and march across the
bar to meet women, women see themselves as catching men. They
therefore respond strongly to rejection. When there’s a subtle rejection, or
there’s less interest than expected, a woman often has an internal
response of “I’ll show him! I’ll make this guy like me!” Finally, a women
typically has the sense that somewhere out there is The One—the perfectly
fitting guy, the one who can make her feel challenged and complete and
fulfilled, the one who can hit every key on her emotional piano.
Also, remember that a woman wants more—she wants to be
reminded that she can feel more and deeper and more powerful emotions than she’s felt thus far. Oftentimes, simply alluding to the idea of experiencing more will induce strong rapport.
dionysius_d
Senior Don Juan
Freud was right.. and nobody is sure of what they really want.
Once they attain it, there is always "something missing".. and the new quest begins.
Happiness and satisfaction are purely internal states of mind.
A pig is happy in shyt and a queen can be unhappy in a palace.
Externals mean nothing.
Once they attain it, there is always "something missing".. and the new quest begins.
Happiness and satisfaction are purely internal states of mind.
A pig is happy in shyt and a queen can be unhappy in a palace.
Externals mean nothing.
"
and we all know the universal truth that WOMEN dont even know what they want."
And the Universal truth guys is that, frankly, neither do most MEN. Really, go through the posts on this forum alone, full of juvenile stuff like do redheads turn you on, what about asian chicks, seriously get half of the guys on this forum or any forum to clearly articulate what REALLY turns them on in a woman (other than pu$$y of course) and you get the same sort of weak crap that you read in Woman's magazines.
Know thyself, most of the GOOD advice that gets traded on this forum resolve to that, growing up, realizing that we have c0cks, and finding out what we want. Weak stuff like "I dig redheads" or "I dig asian chicks" or "man I can't stand asian chicks" is about as weak as the stuff silly chicks trade back and forth on the pages of Cosmo or 17.
And the bit about nice guys never getting laid, is half true half false, some of the guys that I know who get massive pu$$y are, frankly, "nice guys". Think about pook's posts on manhood though, the traits of a man can manifest in a jerk or "nice guy". Mainly its about dominance, having the traits of a dominant man, showing them, and embracing the fact that you have a c0ck. And some degree of social competence. Nice guys finish last is a myth, wussies finish last is the truth, and even some wussies can get laid. And I've seen some hyper masculine jerks who only get girls once in a while.
In a feminized society we simply have to realise what it means to be a man, what it means to have a center, a core, a set of principles that we live by, to act for ourselves in accordance with our own idea, not in pursuit of what society demands.
Thoughts ?
and we all know the universal truth that WOMEN dont even know what they want."
And the Universal truth guys is that, frankly, neither do most MEN. Really, go through the posts on this forum alone, full of juvenile stuff like do redheads turn you on, what about asian chicks, seriously get half of the guys on this forum or any forum to clearly articulate what REALLY turns them on in a woman (other than pu$$y of course) and you get the same sort of weak crap that you read in Woman's magazines.
Know thyself, most of the GOOD advice that gets traded on this forum resolve to that, growing up, realizing that we have c0cks, and finding out what we want. Weak stuff like "I dig redheads" or "I dig asian chicks" or "man I can't stand asian chicks" is about as weak as the stuff silly chicks trade back and forth on the pages of Cosmo or 17.
And the bit about nice guys never getting laid, is half true half false, some of the guys that I know who get massive pu$$y are, frankly, "nice guys". Think about pook's posts on manhood though, the traits of a man can manifest in a jerk or "nice guy". Mainly its about dominance, having the traits of a dominant man, showing them, and embracing the fact that you have a c0ck. And some degree of social competence. Nice guys finish last is a myth, wussies finish last is the truth, and even some wussies can get laid. And I've seen some hyper masculine jerks who only get girls once in a while.
In a feminized society we simply have to realise what it means to be a man, what it means to have a center, a core, a set of principles that we live by, to act for ourselves in accordance with our own idea, not in pursuit of what society demands.
Thoughts ?
Player_Supreme
Banned
Or this article:
Holding Out for a Hero
Women, even the most independent of heterosexual women, tend
to respond very, very powerfully to a primitive archetype: the powerful man. When women get involved with men they don’t view as “powerful”— when they date “nice guys” and “good providers,” it’s often because they’ve been hurt by guys they’ve found more exciting. And that fantasy of the powerful, exciting man is almost always latent, and therefore something you can tap into.
Mr. Powerful is the guy you find in romance novels. Of course, in
romance novels he’s always rich and handsome, tall of stature, deep of
voice, and broad of shoulder, but those, for our purposes, aren’t his most important attributes. The important attributes are products of belief and behavior, and therefore, things you can adopt and demonstrate, in a way that excites the women you meet.
What are the attributes of the powerful man?
First, independence.
The hero doesn’t need her. Moreover, he frequently rejects her in subtle ways. He often leans away from her and moves away from her, out of arm’s reach. His body language, facial expression, and vocal tone frequently deliver nonverbal messages of “I don’t need you; you need me” or “You’re not important” or “You’re not good enough” or “You’re disappointing me.”
Second, the hero has plans and objectives, a path he’s chosen for
himself. These things don’t center around her. As far as the hero is
concerned, she can stay or go. Whatever she does or thinks or feels won’t sway him from his path. If she’s really, really lucky—if she proves again and again how worthy she is—maybe he will let her have a place in his life.But she will never be the center of his life.
Third, the hero is determined. The hero knows what he’s doing,
knows where he’s going, and goes after what he wants until he gets it.
Nothing sways him, and he doesn’t ***** or whine about mistakes or errors.
Make it absolutely clear that your aims are the only things that really matterto you.
Fourth, the hero is greater and more special than she is—he
doesn’t put her on a pedestal; instead, he occasionally lifts her up to his pedestal, and usually just allows her to fantasize him doing it. The rule is this: He must always demonstrate that he regards himself and his aims as more important than her aims and her needs. While women love intimacy,when it comes to love, they usually want intimacy with someone they see as greater, rather than someone they see as a mere equal.
Fifth, he challenges her. In practice, this sometimes means
undermining her confidence--and as we’ve mentioned, when you do this,
when you subtly or not so subtly reject or downgrade her, she’ll often find it stimulating and energizing. Use the following formulas: “Too bad you aren’t/don’t X” and “If only you were/could X”.
When you challenge her or criticize her, she’ll often become
motivated to prove her worthiness. You should occasionally point out her shortcomings, and most importantly, contemptuously point out her behavior when she tries to play games.
You can also be challenging by being a) volcanic and/or b) remote.
To achieve the effect of Amorous Vulcanism, you should raise your voice, make melodramatic physical gestures, be impatient, smolder, glower.
Occasionally act very angry. Your intensity will reinforce her sense that, in being with you, she’s part of something exciting.
To be remote, use silence a great deal. Silence, in combination with
eye contact, is very powerful. After you deliver a script, make eye contact and hold it silently—this will usually encourage her to process what you’ve said even more thoroughly. Also, don’t talk about yourself very much, except in relation to your plans and your objectives.
Your silence lets her project her romantic fantasies all the more thoroughly. Don’t talk about your doubts or errors. Silence can have the cruel but useful effect of heightening her anxieties. And in worrying about whether she’s about to lose you, she sees your value grow. And in seeing your value grow, she feels prouder of the relationship and more fulfilled.
Perhaps the best approach is to alternate Angry Intensity with Cold
Inaccessibility. These behaviors, of course, are the sticks—the carrots, which should form the basis of your relationship, are the good feelings you create through regular verbal stimulation. As much as possible, say only things that will induce strong states in her—induce strong positive feelings, negative feelings, positive feelings—and not much else.
Pump up her emotions, and then give her lots of silence. Ignore her. When you do venture something personal or reveal vulnerability, it’ll seem like a reward, and a mark of how Deep your relationship is becoming.
Bear in mind, though, that when women complain about a lack of
communication, they’re usually upset at the lack of pleasurable verbal
stimulation—that is, the lack of those kinds of experiences which this report has taught you to create. When you provide regular verbal stimulation and feed her plenty of bubblewords, “communication” will seldom be an issue.
One might think: Hey, you’ve pretty much just recommended
behaving like a Neanderthal.
Yes. Bear in mind that if you ask a woman about the sort of behaviors
described above, she’ll almost surely describe them as reprehensible and very unattractive. What does she like? Well, she’ll probably say, she really likes nice, patient, respectful, loyal guys who treat her really well…
On the other hand, if you simply manifest the sort of behaviors
described above, she’ll tell all her friends what an exciting guy she’s met.
Review
Women find you more attractive when you display the following attributes:
1. Independence. You don’t need her; she needs you.
2. Focus. Your goals are more important than anything else, including her.
3. Determination. You persist in the face of obstacles.
4. Superiority (to her and others). You’re the elusive prize; she should feel
that not losing you is a challenge in itself.
5. Alternating Intensity and Coolness. On occasion, be rude, challenging,
provocative, and/or frustrating—it’s much better to piss her off than to
bore her.
Holding Out for a Hero
Women, even the most independent of heterosexual women, tend
to respond very, very powerfully to a primitive archetype: the powerful man. When women get involved with men they don’t view as “powerful”— when they date “nice guys” and “good providers,” it’s often because they’ve been hurt by guys they’ve found more exciting. And that fantasy of the powerful, exciting man is almost always latent, and therefore something you can tap into.
Mr. Powerful is the guy you find in romance novels. Of course, in
romance novels he’s always rich and handsome, tall of stature, deep of
voice, and broad of shoulder, but those, for our purposes, aren’t his most important attributes. The important attributes are products of belief and behavior, and therefore, things you can adopt and demonstrate, in a way that excites the women you meet.
What are the attributes of the powerful man?
First, independence.
The hero doesn’t need her. Moreover, he frequently rejects her in subtle ways. He often leans away from her and moves away from her, out of arm’s reach. His body language, facial expression, and vocal tone frequently deliver nonverbal messages of “I don’t need you; you need me” or “You’re not important” or “You’re not good enough” or “You’re disappointing me.”
Second, the hero has plans and objectives, a path he’s chosen for
himself. These things don’t center around her. As far as the hero is
concerned, she can stay or go. Whatever she does or thinks or feels won’t sway him from his path. If she’s really, really lucky—if she proves again and again how worthy she is—maybe he will let her have a place in his life.But she will never be the center of his life.
Third, the hero is determined. The hero knows what he’s doing,
knows where he’s going, and goes after what he wants until he gets it.
Nothing sways him, and he doesn’t ***** or whine about mistakes or errors.
Make it absolutely clear that your aims are the only things that really matterto you.
Fourth, the hero is greater and more special than she is—he
doesn’t put her on a pedestal; instead, he occasionally lifts her up to his pedestal, and usually just allows her to fantasize him doing it. The rule is this: He must always demonstrate that he regards himself and his aims as more important than her aims and her needs. While women love intimacy,when it comes to love, they usually want intimacy with someone they see as greater, rather than someone they see as a mere equal.
Fifth, he challenges her. In practice, this sometimes means
undermining her confidence--and as we’ve mentioned, when you do this,
when you subtly or not so subtly reject or downgrade her, she’ll often find it stimulating and energizing. Use the following formulas: “Too bad you aren’t/don’t X” and “If only you were/could X”.
When you challenge her or criticize her, she’ll often become
motivated to prove her worthiness. You should occasionally point out her shortcomings, and most importantly, contemptuously point out her behavior when she tries to play games.
You can also be challenging by being a) volcanic and/or b) remote.
To achieve the effect of Amorous Vulcanism, you should raise your voice, make melodramatic physical gestures, be impatient, smolder, glower.
Occasionally act very angry. Your intensity will reinforce her sense that, in being with you, she’s part of something exciting.
To be remote, use silence a great deal. Silence, in combination with
eye contact, is very powerful. After you deliver a script, make eye contact and hold it silently—this will usually encourage her to process what you’ve said even more thoroughly. Also, don’t talk about yourself very much, except in relation to your plans and your objectives.
Your silence lets her project her romantic fantasies all the more thoroughly. Don’t talk about your doubts or errors. Silence can have the cruel but useful effect of heightening her anxieties. And in worrying about whether she’s about to lose you, she sees your value grow. And in seeing your value grow, she feels prouder of the relationship and more fulfilled.
Perhaps the best approach is to alternate Angry Intensity with Cold
Inaccessibility. These behaviors, of course, are the sticks—the carrots, which should form the basis of your relationship, are the good feelings you create through regular verbal stimulation. As much as possible, say only things that will induce strong states in her—induce strong positive feelings, negative feelings, positive feelings—and not much else.
Pump up her emotions, and then give her lots of silence. Ignore her. When you do venture something personal or reveal vulnerability, it’ll seem like a reward, and a mark of how Deep your relationship is becoming.
Bear in mind, though, that when women complain about a lack of
communication, they’re usually upset at the lack of pleasurable verbal
stimulation—that is, the lack of those kinds of experiences which this report has taught you to create. When you provide regular verbal stimulation and feed her plenty of bubblewords, “communication” will seldom be an issue.
One might think: Hey, you’ve pretty much just recommended
behaving like a Neanderthal.
Yes. Bear in mind that if you ask a woman about the sort of behaviors
described above, she’ll almost surely describe them as reprehensible and very unattractive. What does she like? Well, she’ll probably say, she really likes nice, patient, respectful, loyal guys who treat her really well…
On the other hand, if you simply manifest the sort of behaviors
described above, she’ll tell all her friends what an exciting guy she’s met.
Review
Women find you more attractive when you display the following attributes:
1. Independence. You don’t need her; she needs you.
2. Focus. Your goals are more important than anything else, including her.
3. Determination. You persist in the face of obstacles.
4. Superiority (to her and others). You’re the elusive prize; she should feel
that not losing you is a challenge in itself.
5. Alternating Intensity and Coolness. On occasion, be rude, challenging,
provocative, and/or frustrating—it’s much better to piss her off than to
bore her.
Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
HeyPretty
Don Juan
This 'article' is why men think women are insane.
1. The jock
It's not all about being cut and having nice, tight abs — though those attributes certainly have their appeal. What we like about you is that you're not one of life's spectators. You're active, out there and doing things, and your energy is sexy. Bonus points if you admire and encourage our athleticism, too.
Most girls think, (like you dj's wrote) "I'm going to show off this side of beef to my equally shallow twink friends." However, any *woman* worth her salt will tell you she likes a man with a neck, able to put his arms against his sides, and to do simple mathmatic calculations. If you want an ape, try the Congo... I hear Fossie is hiring. To me... in-shape is great. Just be able to keep up- you know, like walk somewhere instead of drive. I like to bike, run, kickbox, whatever- over-pumped Hanz and Franz is not hot. It's scary.
2. The intellectual
Conversations with you are full of happy surprises. We don't know how you keep track of all of those historical, scientific, political and other tidbits, but you sure keep us entertained with what you know. And you can't imagine what a pleasure it is to be with a guy who appreciates our smarts as well.
Smart is sexy. I can't tell you how many women say this, and how important it is to be (at least somewhat) savvy. Total useless fact nerd or completely lacking in social skills is not hot, however. Just be able to talk to us, without grooming our hair for bugs. We don't want Steven Hawking, just someone who knows what words over 2 syllables mean. And for the record- smart is sexier than pretty-boy anyday. I've wanted to fvck some conventionally unattractive men, just because they were brilliant in some way.
3. The creative type
Dating you can be a bit of a wild ride — but that's fine with us; we crave the unconventional. Whether it's your way with wordplay, your eye-opening perspectives on popular culture, or just your knack for finding a great new independent film, band or restaurant, you keep us on our toes. No need to worry about getting stuck in a mainstream rut with you.
Creative is good. Just don't pull out the hot glue gun and canapes. We want an adventure, something exciting. Not Martha Stewart Living for Men. Too artsy screams "I'm a closet gay, and I'm with you so my mother doesn't find out I take it up the down ramp."
4. The family man
Oh, the joy of dating a man who does not complain incessantly about his parents and who loves the idea of starting a family of his own. And let's be honest here: When you're happy to join us on a Saturday matinee outing with our kids or nieces and nephews, our hearts do skip a beat. It may not be flashy, but stability has its own brand of sex appeal.
Sorry. I don't find this attractive at all. Too p*ssy for me. And if a guy I'm dating mentions "family", I'll barf. Save this character for starry-eyed romantic 16 year olds. Try looking at the playground for the chicks in pink tube tops who were ignored by Daddy growing up. Because that's what you're getting into- an Electra Complex from Hell. By the way, my friends and I need a ride to the mall, and can I have 20 bucks?
5. The strong silent type
Silent doesn't mean uncommunicative. It signifies a comfort level between us that doesn't require constant idle chatter. You say more with one look than dozens of guys have managed to tell us with their best dating routines. You have a thousand times more confidence (the quiet kind, not the screaming ego variety) than they ever did, and that makes us fall hard for you.
Otherwise known as deceased. We likes a man that can talk. Then again, some of us just don't know when to shut up, so... perhaps a cadaver is a good choice for bimbos.
6. The genuine nice guy
Women say they want a nice guy … and they do. Who wouldn't appreciate a guy who calls when he says he will, remembers our birthdays and other important moments in our lives, and actually listens to us? You may think, "Big deal, anyone can do that." But not everyone does. You do, and that makes you incredibly special to us.
Correct me if I'm wrong- but isn't that an "afc" or summat? You boys call them that, right? To remember a birthday or call when you say you will is just simple social skills. No girls wants to date a p*ssy. We already have one between our legs. And sometimes, being a cynical bastard can be hot. But don't be a raging butthole- it's a fine line. Don't ask me where most chicks draw the line.
For me, I like a guy who's himself. I may not be attracted to him if he's not clicking with me, but I'll respect him, and hook him up with another hot girl if he's cool. Just be yourself- if a chick doesn't like you, it's her loss- not yours. Meh.
This article blows.
~ Pretty.
1. The jock
It's not all about being cut and having nice, tight abs — though those attributes certainly have their appeal. What we like about you is that you're not one of life's spectators. You're active, out there and doing things, and your energy is sexy. Bonus points if you admire and encourage our athleticism, too.
Most girls think, (like you dj's wrote) "I'm going to show off this side of beef to my equally shallow twink friends." However, any *woman* worth her salt will tell you she likes a man with a neck, able to put his arms against his sides, and to do simple mathmatic calculations. If you want an ape, try the Congo... I hear Fossie is hiring. To me... in-shape is great. Just be able to keep up- you know, like walk somewhere instead of drive. I like to bike, run, kickbox, whatever- over-pumped Hanz and Franz is not hot. It's scary.
2. The intellectual
Conversations with you are full of happy surprises. We don't know how you keep track of all of those historical, scientific, political and other tidbits, but you sure keep us entertained with what you know. And you can't imagine what a pleasure it is to be with a guy who appreciates our smarts as well.
Smart is sexy. I can't tell you how many women say this, and how important it is to be (at least somewhat) savvy. Total useless fact nerd or completely lacking in social skills is not hot, however. Just be able to talk to us, without grooming our hair for bugs. We don't want Steven Hawking, just someone who knows what words over 2 syllables mean. And for the record- smart is sexier than pretty-boy anyday. I've wanted to fvck some conventionally unattractive men, just because they were brilliant in some way.
3. The creative type
Dating you can be a bit of a wild ride — but that's fine with us; we crave the unconventional. Whether it's your way with wordplay, your eye-opening perspectives on popular culture, or just your knack for finding a great new independent film, band or restaurant, you keep us on our toes. No need to worry about getting stuck in a mainstream rut with you.
Creative is good. Just don't pull out the hot glue gun and canapes. We want an adventure, something exciting. Not Martha Stewart Living for Men. Too artsy screams "I'm a closet gay, and I'm with you so my mother doesn't find out I take it up the down ramp."
4. The family man
Oh, the joy of dating a man who does not complain incessantly about his parents and who loves the idea of starting a family of his own. And let's be honest here: When you're happy to join us on a Saturday matinee outing with our kids or nieces and nephews, our hearts do skip a beat. It may not be flashy, but stability has its own brand of sex appeal.
Sorry. I don't find this attractive at all. Too p*ssy for me. And if a guy I'm dating mentions "family", I'll barf. Save this character for starry-eyed romantic 16 year olds. Try looking at the playground for the chicks in pink tube tops who were ignored by Daddy growing up. Because that's what you're getting into- an Electra Complex from Hell. By the way, my friends and I need a ride to the mall, and can I have 20 bucks?
5. The strong silent type
Silent doesn't mean uncommunicative. It signifies a comfort level between us that doesn't require constant idle chatter. You say more with one look than dozens of guys have managed to tell us with their best dating routines. You have a thousand times more confidence (the quiet kind, not the screaming ego variety) than they ever did, and that makes us fall hard for you.
Otherwise known as deceased. We likes a man that can talk. Then again, some of us just don't know when to shut up, so... perhaps a cadaver is a good choice for bimbos.
6. The genuine nice guy
Women say they want a nice guy … and they do. Who wouldn't appreciate a guy who calls when he says he will, remembers our birthdays and other important moments in our lives, and actually listens to us? You may think, "Big deal, anyone can do that." But not everyone does. You do, and that makes you incredibly special to us.
Correct me if I'm wrong- but isn't that an "afc" or summat? You boys call them that, right? To remember a birthday or call when you say you will is just simple social skills. No girls wants to date a p*ssy. We already have one between our legs. And sometimes, being a cynical bastard can be hot. But don't be a raging butthole- it's a fine line. Don't ask me where most chicks draw the line.
For me, I like a guy who's himself. I may not be attracted to him if he's not clicking with me, but I'll respect him, and hook him up with another hot girl if he's cool. Just be yourself- if a chick doesn't like you, it's her loss- not yours. Meh.
This article blows.
~ Pretty.
IDMeansNothing
Don Juan
Guys, there you have it!
Thank you HeyPretty!
HP, you seem to be well put together upstairs...who do you think wrote that article...who was really interviewed and how was it the article turned out the way that it did, instead of the way that it should have (your responses for example)? Any opinion on how the real truth (which is subjectively much more in line with your comments) gets sooooooo watered down?
Thank you HeyPretty!
HP, you seem to be well put together upstairs...who do you think wrote that article...who was really interviewed and how was it the article turned out the way that it did, instead of the way that it should have (your responses for example)? Any opinion on how the real truth (which is subjectively much more in line with your comments) gets sooooooo watered down?
FlyGuy
Master Don Juan
...and this is what I have to put up with while losing my hair, and you guys tell me to be confident about it. THAT'S funny.
Starman
Master Don Juan
Noo see..you are overgeneralizing the Bald issue..the point I was trying to make is being an old codger, losing your hair, and talking about (in an expert fashion) what Women want..
Do you profess to know exactly what women want? Like this scmuck is doing?
Like I said .. you are somewhat lucky..the bald look is a style..thats currently popular..go with the flow
Do you profess to know exactly what women want? Like this scmuck is doing?
Like I said .. you are somewhat lucky..the bald look is a style..thats currently popular..go with the flow
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
FlyGuy
Master Don Juan
Yeah I know, it just pisses me off when I hear this sh!t. Its bad enough to hear it from the ladies let alone to hear it from other guys. Ah well, sorry it just made me mad.
Anyway yes, this article is quite a joke...
Anyway yes, this article is quite a joke...
HeyPretty
Don Juan
IdMeansNothing
I think the article was most likey written by either a really confused guy, who's read too much "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" crap, or a bored rather dowdy woman with bowling pin legs, and more vibrators than sexual partners.
Who knows- maybe it's a highly frustrated, yet incredibly hot librarian-esqe 20 something chick who hasn't found the right man to unlock her passionate-***** side of her personality.
It's fun to wonder about psychological-mislead articles.
Well... Thanka Id. But it's just my opinion, which means about as much as Mariah Carey's career to anyone who's not me I suppose.
I think the article was most likey written by either a really confused guy, who's read too much "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" crap, or a bored rather dowdy woman with bowling pin legs, and more vibrators than sexual partners.
Who knows- maybe it's a highly frustrated, yet incredibly hot librarian-esqe 20 something chick who hasn't found the right man to unlock her passionate-***** side of her personality.
It's fun to wonder about psychological-mislead articles.
Solomon79
Don Juan
'...Sorry. I don't find this attractive at all. Too p*ssy for me. And if a guy I'm dating mentions "family", I'll barf. Save this character for starry-eyed romantic 16 year olds. Try looking at the playground for the chicks in pink tube tops who were ignored by Daddy growing up. Because that's what you're getting into- an Electra Complex from Hell. By the way, my friends and I need a ride to the mall, and can I have 20 bucks...?'
Fine, I won't want to settle down with you, then.
What the fcuk has pink tube tops got to do with wanting to be a father one day?
Typically spoilt American bi.tch.
Fine, I won't want to settle down with you, then.
What the fcuk has pink tube tops got to do with wanting to be a father one day?
Typically spoilt American bi.tch.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
i don't understand why you are all tripping on this one. all it says it that women appreciate a man who actually listens and remembers important things.
Isn't this true for anyone? Isn't this a requirement?
Because if your ass doesn't even listen to me, your getting the boot. and if you don't even remember my birthday? why would i give a sh!t about you if you don't give a sh!t about me?
