Men Who Cold Approach Should Be Proud

[returnofpigman]

In my city there are social tennis nights run at different courts multiple nights per week and it's full of early 20's women who go with their friends. Ratios for guys and girls is about 50/50, but the guys are usually beta and no competition. It's a pvssy paradise, but it's social circle so it's a long game.

I love beta guys. They’re great entertainment. I can imagine the betas are throwing a lot of rackets in desparation.

 

[manfrombelow]

Men who do cold approaches are simple BRAVE, hence they deserve utmost respect from every other fellow man.

 

[soulforge]

The absolute best way to easily tap into a Social Circle is through sports that both women and men play. Tennis, netball, volleyball, bad minton, yoga.

You join a local club, tennis social or whatever. Don't go there and be sleezy, go and get really good at the sport. Within 3 months you'll have a social circle centered around a shared activity. It really is very easy unless you've got social anxiety.

I am regular in the gym.. However talking to girls in the gym is a fukin ball ache.

My plan is to join Yoga!

 

[soulforge]

Yes I actually enjoy cold approach.. After the first 4-5 rejections I stopped giving a fuk.

If I see a girl I want to bang, I approach her.. Easy!

 

[SW15]

In my city there are social tennis nights run at different courts multiple nights per week and it's full of early 20's women who go with their friends. Ratios for guys and girls is about 50/50, but the guys are usually beta and no competition. It's a pvssy paradise, but it's social circle so it's a long game.

As illustrated above, I've never seen that through tennis and being a life long player. I'm also a reasonably high level player and there are fewer women who can play competitively with me. I got a date one time with a former NCAA player one time on a public court. She was attractive, feminine, but I also caught her lying to me so I didn't escalate that interaction to sex. I think both sides left that interaction with a bad taste in our mouths.

Co-ed sports leagues can be meaningful for putting together interactions but you're that it is social circle and long game. I've seen examples of numerous people, including women, who were regular participants in co-ed sports leagues and were perpetually single.

In most sports, if you want to do a co-ed sports league, it is best to put together your own team prior to joining the league. The people who join leagues as individual free agents and get placed on teams usually get placed on untalented and losing teams. That affects how the league goes for them. If you're on an uncompetitive team in a co-ed sports league, it is not going to be fun. So if you're joining a league as a grouping of individuals who already know each other before signing up for the league, that's social circle for sure.

I think volleyball is better than tennis because it tends to be more co-ed.

Lone wolf approacher guys tend to not enjoy co-ed sports leagues and are likely better off doing approaches in fitness classes, on the regular gym floor, on a hiking path, at the beach, etc.

Men who do cold approaches are simple BRAVE, hence they deserve utmost respect from every other fellow man.

Yes. I have been a cold approacher and am proud of that. I'm not some app swiping monkey. Cold approach, especially without alcohol at a non-bar venue, shows who the bravest men are.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I'm probably one of the few guys on here who remembers dating when all you had was the cold approach option.

Back then pre-internet and apps, the odds were still always against you. Possibilities: She has a boyfriend/married, not interested in you, just got out of a LTR or marriage and is legitimately not interested in dating right now, from out of town, and finally YES and she gave you her phone number. Like betting a +400 money line if anyone is into sports betting. It's tougher now because in addition to the above denials, if she’s single, she's likely on a host of dating apps and is subconsciously comparing you to all her OLD options. So money line in 2021 I would put at +600. That's like a 14-15 point underdog in the NFL. Hey, but some do WIN outright. See 2001 NE Patriots vs Rams in the Super Bowl that season.

Here are some quick tips for better success in cold approaching:

- Look for women with positive, open, and accepting body language
- Quick scan for wedding ring
- Make sure you're dressed appropriately or presentably
- You: Have open, friendly, but CONFIDENT (huge!) posture and body language
- You: Smile!
- If you're good at using quick witted and appropriate humor, I'll drop your money line to +400. Humor is the #1 weapon that you can use and control in all cold approach interactions. If used properly you're success rate will skyrocket.
-Another scan of her body language if you're talking with her. Is is positive? There are some steadfast "tells" in women's body language both positive and negative. Get good at reading them.
-If successful, get her number and get the hell out of there. Don't linger or over-sell.
-Keep swinging. Even Hall of Fame baseball players only hit around .300 and some less than that.

Good luck.

 

[sangheilios]

I feel the problem with cold approaching is that you are going to have a fairly low success rate to begin with, and if you aren't doing this all that often and it's your only means of meeting women you are going to be perpetually single. I feel that OLD has definitely changed things, and as others have mentioned on here despite having actually approached in person she will be comparing you to her several dozen matches she is speaking to on tinder. In addition to this, from what I've seen a lot of people today in general, women included, wear earphones and/or have their face stuck into a screen whenever they are out and about. This creates a situation where people are closed off from the world around them and naturally will not be open to being approached by other people.

In the decades past the only way you could meet women were either through your social sphere or through cold approaching. Based upon what I have seen, most men do not actually approach all that often and instead rely upon their social sphere or online dating. Simply having the ability to approach a total stranger in a manner that is relaxed and sociable puts you well ahead of the vast majority of men, who simply are not capable of this.

 

[RangerMIke]

In my city there are social tennis nights run at different courts multiple nights per week and it's full of early 20's women who go with their friends. Ratios for guys and girls is about 50/50, but the guys are usually beta and no competition. It's a pvssy paradise, but it's social circle so it's a long game.

Yoga studios are the same, but it's more like 75-25% Women to men. And the few men that are there are so freaking effeminate... you almost can not screw up.

 

[SW15]

Yoga studios are the same, but it's more like 75-25% Women to men. And the few men that are there are so freaking effeminate... you almost can not screw up.

All styles of fitness classes are majority female but that's no guarantee of getting anything there. A lot of female attendees of fitness classes are not very social.

 

[sangheilios]

All styles of fitness classes are majority female but that's no guarantee of getting anything there. A lot of female attendees of fitness classes are not very social.

There's a reason why there are gyms that cater exclusively to women only, such as Curves, and many have women's only exercise areas. I've personally heard women say that they don't like being approached at the gym and that they go there to workout. However, I also believe that these women say this for the vast majority of men but if one that was fit and handsome approached she would be potentially be open to him.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Social circle is easier because you already have a certain amount of credibility.

It's also the most common way people get into relationships. Its always meeting through friends or work. You almost never hear about a couple meeting online even today.

 

[SW15]

There's a reason why there are gyms that cater exclusively to women only, such as Curves, and many have women's only exercise areas. I've personally heard women say that they don't like being approached at the gym and that they go there to workout. However, I also believe that these women say this for the vast majority of men but if one that was fit and handsome approached she would be potentially be open to him.

Curves is a poor example because it is mostly post-menopausal women.

You're right that women say that for the vast majority of men. It wouldn't apply to you as a 6'4" and muscular guy.

It's also the most common way people get into relationships. Its always meeting through friends or work. You almost never hear about a couple meeting online even today.

Social circle has been declining as a way that heterosexual couples meet since the late 1980s. I would make the point that more people have longer lasting relationships through social circle than through tech assisted meeting sources like websites/swipe apps.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I used to be proud of approaching women, but after not a single lay I see it now as a waste of time.

I do wish I could master it because the women are hotter and I have more choice than online, but I think I just ain’t wired to be a social guy. Hundreds of approaches and nothing to show for it over the years from 2012-2015

 

[SW15]

I used to be proud of approaching women, but after not a single lay I see it now as a waste of time.

I do wish I could master it because the women are hotter and I have more choice than online, but I think I just ain’t wired to be a social guy. Hundreds of approaches and nothing to show for it over the years from 2012-2015

It is possible to make hundreds of approaches in person and get 0. It's also possible to make thousands of swipes and get 0.

Did you get at least the "one date, no sex, no second date" variety of dates from cold approaching from 2012-2015?

 

[SargeMaximus]

It is possible to make hundreds of approaches in person and get 0. It's also possible to make thousands of swipes and get 0.

Did you get at least the "one date, no sex, no second date" variety of dates from cold approaching from 2012-2015?

Yeah I had an instadate with a girl who had a bf, and I had a date with an 18 year old who seemed more curious about me because I had approached her rather than attracted to me. Like, I got the feeling she only went out with me because she wanted to see what was up with me not because she was attracted.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

she wanted to see what was up with me not because she was attracted.

Women take longer to develop attraction. Triggering the "intrigue" from the start is not bad.

 

[Charm2K]

I can't think of anything harder then Approaching random women, going through tons of ego destroying rejection while improving your game to finally get a woman.

Woth online, your behind a screen and there is no feeling to it, you just mindlessly swipe

With social circle game its slow but it has a high success rate

Cold approach is not for the faint of heart, only the strongest survive and thrive.

Thats whay iam saying all the damn time, COLD APPROACH is the real **** and a test how big balls you actually have. Tinder, and dating sites are for losers who dont have the balls to approach!!! And the success is not messured if you get the number or not, its messured if you just have to balls to approach and ask.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

That's what I am saying all the damn time, COLD APPROACH is the real **** and a test how big balls you actually have. Tinder, and dating sites are for losers who dont have the balls to approach!!!

Once I've found out if she's available, I have a better lay-rate in person, than with an app (You don't know her availability until you speak to her, whereas on an app, you already know they're at least open to seeing someone new.)
I've dabbled with Bumble in the past, and did OK after it got to the date... but I chose carefully before offering the date.

They know it takes some bravery to approach, so she gives you props for that - and first impressions do count for a LOT with women. She'll tick the mental 'No!' box very quickly if you don't come across well right from the start.

You do need to be well turned out at all times though - You never know when you'll spot one you like the look of.
Can't rely on a few good pics, then cleaning yourself up just before the meeting.

 

[Rainman4707]

Confidence, confidence, confidence. I've just been out to get a few items. I cold approached four or five women. First one said no thanks, but a few mins later she was watching me whilst i was at the till. It's as if she was in shock, as if she was thinking omg i'm not used to men just approaching me in store, telling me i'm beautiful and offering me their number.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Women take longer to develop attraction. Triggering the "intrigue" from the start is not bad.

I guess. But it really demoralized me. I assumed she'd lose interest once she saw that was all I had going for me. I'm not rich, not social, but I can approach. So I figured it was more trouble than it was worth. I do hope I can make it work for me but from what I understand of women and social interactions. I don't think I have what it takes for cold approach to work.