Article about Men needing to be better. The Article is copied and pasted below; long but quick read.
medium.com
There was a Twitter thread that made the rounds about a year ago because it put forth a basic but daring premise: these days, men have to get women to like them, and a lot of men aren’t likable. The author of the tweet makes many good points. A few decades ago, women couldn’t get a bank account, buy a home, get a credit card, work outside the home, or get educated without a man to support them. There were exceptions for those with privilege, of course, but the vast majority of women needed a husband or father in their lives to allow them to get those things. And men, by and large, took this for granted. They relied on their wives for a lot of things — namely housework and child-rearing — that they didn’t want to do themselves, and in return, they gave their wives the ability to function in society.
A lot of older men these days grew up in this world, a world where women were reliant upon (and subservient to) their husbands, and they don’t like where things are going. And, unfortunately, they raised their sons to have a similar viewpoint, and the upshot is that there are a lot of guys out there who are looking for a wifey to do the housework, a mommy figure to take care of them, or both. However, these days women can function in society without men, and when you are the kind of guy that needs a woman to do all the housework for you, the number of women who will date you is vanishingly small. So, rather than date a bunch of crappy guys with no substance, a lot of women will stay single or date around until they find a guy that will meet their needs as well. Currently, women are in control of much of the dating scene because a lot of guys won’t take the steps to have any kind of basic decency in their relationships. Instead of being able to get a girlfriend and eventual wife simply by being a man, they actually have to be likable and have positive qualities. The sad truth is, a lot of guys are not likable in the slightest.
And again, look at the examples they grew up with. Lots of terrible, domineering fathers and grandfathers who were by all accounts terrible husbands to their wives and who passed that example onto their kids. These are grumpy, bitter old men who are upset that women these days have autonomy and don’t need men, and so they treat the women in their lives like garbage and set that example for their sons. Then their sons use terms like “old-fashioned” and “still believes in chivalry” to disguise both their misogyny and weird desire for a housekeeper who will give them sex on demand. And, surprise surprise, a lot of women don’t want to date people like that. So yeah, it turns out that when you’re unlikable for so many reasons, nobody wants to date you, and it’s all because women can function in society without men and no longer need to settle. And, rather than take this lesson to heart, a lot of guys gripe on the internet and become incels who feel like the world owes them a girlfriend.
If we lived in a just world, this would be more or less the end of it. As more men learned that women want decent guys who have substance and are willing to do chores, they would take that lesson, stop griping, and the world would be a better place. Incels would die out and fewer guys would be abusive jerks. Instead, a lot of the “old-fashioned” men are in positions of power and privilege, and a lot of their fathers and grandfathers are in similar positions as well as the government. The result is that the crappy old guys who think women shouldn’t have so much autonomy are in a position to take that autonomy away.
This is objectively terrible. The fact that there are men in modern-day America who want tradwives (traditional wives who do the whole “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” thing) is weird and kind of repulsive to me and many others. The fact that many of them run the government is horrifying. Guys, we need to step up and be better. Women are people who deserve autonomy over themselves and their bodies, and we need to recognize that very basic fact. I’m not even talking about just abortion here — I’m talking about access to contraception and the ability to marry or not marry who they want. I’m also talking about the ability to do things like “have a credit score” and “go to college” and “have a job” without some man having to give them permission as though they are lesser beings.
Women are not lesser beings who are subservient to men, and the fact that a lot of men (and women) think so is baffling to me. A lot of it can be chalked up to the American Evangelical Christian movement, as it is such a domineering and patriarchal organization that it has indoctrinated so many to these damaging viewpoints under the guise of religion. However, there are also just a bunch of crappy guys out there who don’t know any better. Speaking as a man to other men, we have to be better. We need to be better partners, better husbands, better fathers, and better members of society. We need to teach the younger men in our lives to be better as well because future generations cannot carry this toxic mindset further if we want to survive as a species.
Women are people who deserve autonomy, and men need to step up and do better. The fact that these are controversial takes for some people baffles me. Generally speaking, having more rights is better than having fewer, and the fact that some want to take rights away from women just because of their gender assigned at birth is mind-boggling.
Guys, I know we can do better than that. Let’s do better.
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Thoughts?
Men Need to Step Up and Be Better
And, unfortunately, we’ve been taking steps in the wrong direction lately.
There was a Twitter thread that made the rounds about a year ago because it put forth a basic but daring premise: these days, men have to get women to like them, and a lot of men aren’t likable. The author of the tweet makes many good points. A few decades ago, women couldn’t get a bank account, buy a home, get a credit card, work outside the home, or get educated without a man to support them. There were exceptions for those with privilege, of course, but the vast majority of women needed a husband or father in their lives to allow them to get those things. And men, by and large, took this for granted. They relied on their wives for a lot of things — namely housework and child-rearing — that they didn’t want to do themselves, and in return, they gave their wives the ability to function in society.
A lot of older men these days grew up in this world, a world where women were reliant upon (and subservient to) their husbands, and they don’t like where things are going. And, unfortunately, they raised their sons to have a similar viewpoint, and the upshot is that there are a lot of guys out there who are looking for a wifey to do the housework, a mommy figure to take care of them, or both. However, these days women can function in society without men, and when you are the kind of guy that needs a woman to do all the housework for you, the number of women who will date you is vanishingly small. So, rather than date a bunch of crappy guys with no substance, a lot of women will stay single or date around until they find a guy that will meet their needs as well. Currently, women are in control of much of the dating scene because a lot of guys won’t take the steps to have any kind of basic decency in their relationships. Instead of being able to get a girlfriend and eventual wife simply by being a man, they actually have to be likable and have positive qualities. The sad truth is, a lot of guys are not likable in the slightest.
And again, look at the examples they grew up with. Lots of terrible, domineering fathers and grandfathers who were by all accounts terrible husbands to their wives and who passed that example onto their kids. These are grumpy, bitter old men who are upset that women these days have autonomy and don’t need men, and so they treat the women in their lives like garbage and set that example for their sons. Then their sons use terms like “old-fashioned” and “still believes in chivalry” to disguise both their misogyny and weird desire for a housekeeper who will give them sex on demand. And, surprise surprise, a lot of women don’t want to date people like that. So yeah, it turns out that when you’re unlikable for so many reasons, nobody wants to date you, and it’s all because women can function in society without men and no longer need to settle. And, rather than take this lesson to heart, a lot of guys gripe on the internet and become incels who feel like the world owes them a girlfriend.
If we lived in a just world, this would be more or less the end of it. As more men learned that women want decent guys who have substance and are willing to do chores, they would take that lesson, stop griping, and the world would be a better place. Incels would die out and fewer guys would be abusive jerks. Instead, a lot of the “old-fashioned” men are in positions of power and privilege, and a lot of their fathers and grandfathers are in similar positions as well as the government. The result is that the crappy old guys who think women shouldn’t have so much autonomy are in a position to take that autonomy away.
This is objectively terrible. The fact that there are men in modern-day America who want tradwives (traditional wives who do the whole “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” thing) is weird and kind of repulsive to me and many others. The fact that many of them run the government is horrifying. Guys, we need to step up and be better. Women are people who deserve autonomy over themselves and their bodies, and we need to recognize that very basic fact. I’m not even talking about just abortion here — I’m talking about access to contraception and the ability to marry or not marry who they want. I’m also talking about the ability to do things like “have a credit score” and “go to college” and “have a job” without some man having to give them permission as though they are lesser beings.
Women are not lesser beings who are subservient to men, and the fact that a lot of men (and women) think so is baffling to me. A lot of it can be chalked up to the American Evangelical Christian movement, as it is such a domineering and patriarchal organization that it has indoctrinated so many to these damaging viewpoints under the guise of religion. However, there are also just a bunch of crappy guys out there who don’t know any better. Speaking as a man to other men, we have to be better. We need to be better partners, better husbands, better fathers, and better members of society. We need to teach the younger men in our lives to be better as well because future generations cannot carry this toxic mindset further if we want to survive as a species.
Women are people who deserve autonomy, and men need to step up and do better. The fact that these are controversial takes for some people baffles me. Generally speaking, having more rights is better than having fewer, and the fact that some want to take rights away from women just because of their gender assigned at birth is mind-boggling.
Guys, I know we can do better than that. Let’s do better.
-----
Thoughts?
