Men in relationships that would rather jack off than bang their gf/wife

BackInTheGame78

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Just cut out processed foods (including flavoured pasta sauces and 'freshly packaged') and any type of sugar (like packaged fruit juice, softdrinks and beers) and prepare your food as much as possible from raw / organic / free range ingredients.

And exercise. You don't need to go to the gym. Walk. Take the stairs instead of the elevator/escalator. Go to the public swimming pool and swim some laps. Do 10,000 steps a day. Then 15,000 steps.

And avoid drugs and alcohol. Including legal drugs and stimulants like chocolate. If you can't stop drinking coffee, drink it black.

Stop looking for the dopamine kicks.
Or move to the Netherlands and bike everywhere instead of driving :lol:
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Or move to the Netherlands and bike everywhere instead of driving :lol:
It's an idea. Most daily riding for me is on my bicycles. I have a motorcycle, but I mostly use that when I go outside of Amsterdam.
 

Juanto

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Just cut out processed foods (including flavoured pasta sauces and 'freshly packaged') and any type of sugar (like packaged fruit juice, softdrinks and beers) and prepare your food as much as possible from raw / organic / free range ingredients.

And exercise. You don't need to go to the gym. Walk. Take the stairs instead of the elevator/escalator. Go to the public swimming pool and swim some laps. Do 10,000 steps a day. Then 15,000 steps.

And avoid drugs and alcohol. Including legal drugs and stimulants like chocolate. If you can't stop drinking coffee, drink it black.

Stop looking for the dopamine kicks.
Good advice here.

But I would add, if you are a guy you really should go to the gym for health reasons and also to look and feel good
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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But I would add, if you are a guy you really should go to the gym for health reasons and also to look and feel good
I don't like the gym, but there are plenty of ways to exercise without having to hit the gym. You don't need to get shredded, just healthy fit. Swimming will do that for you, as will training in martial arts or bouldering or even inline skating.

I live in a culture where most people are relatively fit because most people ride bicycles instead of driving cars and while we're 'body positive', we don't accept obesity as a 'fact of life'. Only the old and handicapped are accepted as not being physically fit, but if you're fat, your physician will tell you to lose the weight for health reasons.
 

Juanto

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I don't like the gym, but there are plenty of ways to exercise without having to hit the gym. You don't need to get shredded, just healthy fit. Swimming will do that for you, as will training in martial arts or bouldering or even inline skating.

I live in a culture where most people are relatively fit because most people ride bicycles instead of driving cars and while we're 'body positive', we don't accept obesity as a 'fact of life'. Only the old and handicapped are accepted as not being physically fit, but if you're fat, your physician will tell you to lose the weight for health reasons.
Yes, same thing here, I’m also European as you are
 

Learning Curve

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Plenty of men confess me to find themselves in such position, most of them 30+, I checked online and it seems it's a widespread phenomenon.

What do you think about it?
All this men should find a suitable partner instead of choosing the first woman that comes to be in a relationship.

I have a gf that despite she is not the hottest thing in town is reasonably good looking and younger than me however the frequent requests of going out, meet people and attend places I wouldnt even consider kinda put me in a grumpy mood and lead me to become annoyed from her.
Every weekend there is someones birthday which means, no rest, no gym, hours in crowds and stay up till late night...
Say no. Say you have priorities, say you have other stuff to do.

The fact gets even worse since she doesnt like do sport, hit the gym or physical activity in general which I really like.
Why did you choose her in the first place?

Often times I'm doing stuff at the computer or watching tv and she initiates for intimacy and it often feels as a chore.
How long are you in a relationship with this chick?

If sex feels like a chore, try new positions and new enviroments. It's your job as a man to guide the bedroom.
 
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Plenty of men confess me to find themselves in such position, most of them 30+, I checked online and it seems it's a widespread phenomenon.

What do you think about it?

The first reason it came in my mind was that she gained weight or simply no longer produced the "new thing" effect but could it be that after a certain point the nagging and the discomfort kills any libido?

I have a gf that despite she is not the hottest thing in town is reasonably good looking and younger than me however the frequent requests of going out, meet people and attend places I wouldnt even consider kinda put me in a grumpy mood and lead me to become annoyed from her.
Every weekend there is someones birthday which means, no rest, no gym, hours in crowds and stay up till late night...

The fact gets even worse since she doesnt like do sport, hit the gym or physical activity in general which I really like.

Often times I'm doing stuff at the computer or watching tv and she initiates for intimacy and it often feels as a chore.

Some guys I know told me that they would rather bang average random women than their wives and probably they can feel it on their men.
Sounds rather normal tbh, I have good looking, rather attractive, younger wife (not the super model type but it doesn't matter to me, she has great character, she is smart and is very into me) - I'm not model-looking level either - so we are matched well. I still perceive other females attractive and I understand that by deciding to be with somebody I also decided to not be with other women - this artificia limitation makes your internal "hunter" triggered from time to time as to some extent we are animals and we want to mate with as many women as possible - the novelty of relationship and interest in sex also wears off to some extent and relationship moves more into friendship zone from lust zone after few years. The thing is to throw in some fuel to raise the flames from time to time (it is also ours task to do it as we should lead in the relationship). This is more difficult to do than to think or plan about it (because ordinary or extraordinary life issues messes up our initiative always) but that's how the things are.

So I think its normal and common - some guys act on these urges and cheat. Some don't (they turn the sublimation button and decide to use the spikes in energy either to make current relationship more comfortable or just concentrate on themselves, their hobbies, work etc. and decide (or perceive - after proper or faulty assessment of their current situation) that there's nothing that can make this situation better/different and just carry on.

Or move to the Netherlands and bike everywhere instead of driving :lol:
Biking doesn't work miracles when it comes to stomach fat. I have a buddy that does 200-300 miles on bike few times a year and rides shorter distances often - he also likes beer and beer wins with all the biking he is doing - from what I have noticed, exercices that make your stomach do something else than just being there (e.g. sideway turns, crunches, also going low-carbs diet) are the only things that may help a guy maintain his belly in check.
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Sounds rather normal tbh, I have good looking, rather attractive, younger wife (not the super model type but it doesn't matter to me, she has great character, she is smart and is very into me) - I'm not model-looking level either - so we are matched well. I still perceive other females attractive and I understand that by deciding to be with somebody I also decided to not be with other women - this artificia limitation makes your internal "hunter" triggered from time to time as to some extent we are animals and we want to mate with as many women as possible - the novelty of relationship and interest in sex also wears off to some extent and relationship moves more into friendship zone from lust zone after few years. The thing is to throw in some fuel to raise the flames from time to time (it is also ours task to do it as we should lead in the relationship). This is more difficult to do than to think or plan about it (because ordinary or extraordinary life issues messes up our initiative always) but that's how the things are.

So I think its normal and common - some guys act on these urges and cheat. Some don't (they turn the sublimation button and decide to use the spikes in energy either to make current relationship more comfortable or just concentrate on themselves, their hobbies, work etc. and decide (or perceive - after proper or faulty assessment of their current situation) that there's nothing that can make this situation better/different and just carry on.



Biking doesn't work miracles when it comes to stomach fat. I have a buddy that does 200-300 miles on bike few times a year and rides shorter distances often - he also likes beer and beer wins with all the biking he is doing - from what I have noticed, exercices that make your stomach do something else than just being there (e.g. sideway turns, crunches, also going low-carbs diet) are the only things that may help a guy maintain his belly in check.
You don't need to work miracles in Europe because their food doesn't cause the accumulation of stomach fat like it does in the US.
 

RickTheToad

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Dudes in relationships usually compromise. As a dude ages, they get tired of chasing new pus and just settle in with what they have. Since they've invested time/family into their partner, and it's a give an take. She may have gained some weight, but she looks up to me, treats me like a G-d, and we have built a family together. I can see why and understand some dudes stop wanting to have so much sex with their partner. Same pus/mouth/a$$, nothing is new. They can pull a video up with some younger and hotter female and get their rocks off that way. It's quick, easy and gets the job done. Nothing wrong with that for some people. It just depends on the situation.
 

MatureDJ

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One of the women i worked with told me that her husband lost interest in her. She thinks he is gay. I've heard it from another woman that my wife is friends with too.
This is usually the case. I remember an old g/f's friend that was married to a Chadlite/lower-tier-Chad (I had met them shortly after they had gotten married), and she told me a while later than he did not consummate the marriage after 6 months, and so he confessed. :eek:
 

MatureDJ

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Men are addicted to porn; it provides endless, instant novelty and works on the dopaminergic pathways dedicated for sexual arousal (which novelty is a big part of). Literally the most powerful system in our brain is getting hijacked by a supranormal stimulus that is free and available 24/7. Unless your wife is really good in bed and a 9/10 I don't completely blame them; after years of fvcking the same girl I'd probably get bored too. But I think in this case the solution is to withhold sex and orgasm for a few weeks or more, scarcity creates value.
It's OVER for DopaminergicCels.
 
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