Men have given up on traditional means of dating?

[ThisNThat]

I was reading some post on Facebook from a woman that was complaining about dating these days. She's a cancer survivor, so perhaps she has a whole new perspective on life, but she just got out of almost a decade long marriage and is back in the saddle again.

She's expressed that every guy that had contacted her wanted to do the "Netflix and chill" thing, only she would kind of steer the conversation away from the implied sex to "Oh, I just love cozying up to a movie...what are you favorite flicks?"

She basically gave him an out, but he still kept pressing. She'd continue to play along though, trying to help him along to have an actual "getting to know you" conversation.

He basically told her he has given up being traditional when it comes to dating, and just cutting right to the chase (sex). He compared dating to just small talk and nothing more. That society has "brainwashed" us into sticking to the formalities and as far as he was concerned deemed all of it a waste of time.

He lost his patience with her and moved on. She couldn't believe men like this exist in society, sadly, and that some women would go for the dude simply because he was hot enough. She called the single women out by saying, "Sheesh, have SOME integrity, ladies!"

So seriously, do you think that dude had no game, or was there some validity of just cutting through what HE thought was the bureaucratic red tape of dating and just doin' the "Netflix and chill" thing?

 

[Bingo-Player]

i think some guys just get a point where even after doing all the "getting to know you" and dating and all the other crap it still doesn't work

for example its like making a 10K investment over 6 months and in the end barely walking away with a hundred bucks and the "experience"

so then you have these scenarios where guys get fed up of playing by conventional rules and will literally use that shotgun approach of "lets just fvck" yea sure 9 times out of 10 it wont work but at least you arent wasting 10K & 6 months of your time to basically get to the same outcome

also the strange thing about women is that they pick and choose when to have "integrity"

the same woman who shot this guy down on FB , could quite easily meet a don jaun in a bar on the weekend and have her knickers around her ankles taking it from behind in a bathroom within a few hours

( ive done it and seen it done , many times )

they truly are unbelievable creatures of mystery

 

[Glassguy]

Woman from all over talk about how they are tired of being approached directly by guys for "netflix and chill" and "lets hang out/hook up".

They complain about it on social media, but try to be a gentleman and ask her for dinner and watch her response. Most of the time they just vanish.

The truth is, most of these women that complain about this are the ones that keep going back with the trashy guys. They like being used, thus complaining is their outlet to make them not feel like the wh0re they really are.....but they have no intentions on changing.

Put it in the same category as "He is just a friend","My bf treats me poorly but I can't leave just yet because of ____", "Youre not sleeping with me on the first date" and many other lies that spew out of a woman's mouth. All smoke and mirrors.

Its all about actions, not words.

 

[Young_Don]

If there's one thing I've learnt it's this: 90% of the time, when a woman says she doesn't like this or that from a guy, she means the complete opposite.

Things I've witnessed girls say and do, E.g.

"I'm not really into guys with abs" - likes dozens of pictures of ripped guys with 6 packs on instagram
"I just want a nice guy" - Rejects somewhat decent guys for guys they know are going to fvck them over eventually
"Men who cheat are the lowest of the low" - previous relationship fell through because she was caught cheating with multiple guys
"I don't care if a guy has a nice car or a lot of money" - only dates guys with nice cars and lots of money

I could go on for days. Point is, women are emotional, and say/do things out of emotion simply for attention and the sense of self value.

Don't believe a fvcking word that comes out of their mouths. Half the time they don't even realise they do this, they're that deep in denial. So if she's saying she's shocked that girls these days would actually go through with the Netflix and chill scenario, it might not mean she necessarily will do exactly that (Netflix & chill), but there's a good fvcking chance she would meet up with a guy she finds attractive enough to hump her brains out for the night and not tell a soul about it to maintain her appearance of being a woman with value.

 

[Trainwreck]

Since women control the flow of the dating game, they were the first to change the rules of attraction in the Information Age. Some guys benefited more(bad boys and bums) than others. In addition, we were fed a Disney wk mindset growing up and a lot of us learned the hard way eventually. This is just men adapting to their game, not the end of traditional dating. Last, there's never been something called traditional dating, this is just bullshvt nostalgia coming from retarded baby boomers.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

A recent ex-plate of mine pulled the female version of this on me. After a couple fvcks given she assumed we were instantly a "couple". I chuckled inside because I haven't experienced this sh*t since probably HS.

Mind you she is 40, looks 30 tho. She's been divorced a few yrs or so. No kids, good career. Her words, she's a "relationship" type woman & she hates "dating". Aka stage 5 clinger that needs constant validation and attention.

There's a % of woman like this, so I think in turn a lot of desperate guys try to play this angle?? The instant "RL" types are the worst to deal with IME. This is how it's been her whole life, why would she changed now?

 

[Mike32ct]

i think some guys just get a point where even after doing all the "getting to know you" and dating and all the other crap it still doesn't work

for example its like making a 10K investment over 6 months and in the end barely walking away with a hundred bucks and the "experience"

so then you have these scenarios where guys get fed up of playing by conventional rules and will literally use that shotgun approach of "lets just fvck" yea sure 9 times out of 10 it wont work but at least you arent wasting 10K & 6 months of your time to basically get to the same outcome

also the strange thing about women is that they pick and choose when to have "integrity"

the same woman who shot this guy down on FB , could quite easily meet a don jaun in a bar on the weekend and have her knickers around her ankles taking it from behind in a bathroom within a few hours

( ive done it and seen it done , many times )

they truly are unbelievable creatures of mystery

Bingo Player FTW.

Plenty of guys HAVE tried the slower, "get to know each other first" method only to have her ghost him or friendzone him.

Women only give a guy a short window to make a move.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A recent ex-plate of mine pulled the female version of this on me. After a couple fvcks given she assumed we were instantly a "couple". I chuckled inside because I haven't experienced this sh*t since probably HS.

Mind you she is 40, looks 30 tho. She's been divorced a few yrs or so. No kids, good career. Her words, she's a "relationship" type woman & she hates "dating". Aka stage 5 clinger that needs constant validation and attention.

There's a % of woman like this, so I think in turn a lot of desperate guys try to play this angle?? The instant "RL" types are the worst to deal with IME. This is how it's been her whole life, why would she changed now?

She won't change probably. Going to hookups and superficial relationships will not be interesting and feel "fake" to her.

 

[Glassguy]

In response to the question of men giving up on traditional dating, I say no.

It's all about value and reputation of the woman in question. If she has the value and reputation of a plate, I try to smash.

If she is a higher value woman with potential LTR qualities, I would ask her out for dinner or drinks.

Either way, she gets what she deserves unless she proves to me otherwise, which can promote or demote her value depending on how she acts and how far up the totim pole she started.

 

[Urbanyst]

There is a high opportunity cost for men in the early stages. You spend time and money pursuing a woman and nothing my come of it. And what makes a woman who hasn't proven sexual interest worth your time and money? Nothing really.

You have nothing to lose by cutting to the chase. Women don't like it because it exposes them early and doesn't allow them to turn you into an orbiter or an ATM machine. I've had a lot of my time and money wasted on cold fish women doing transitional dates.

 

[ThisNThat]

Since women control the flow of the dating game, they were the first to change the rules of attraction in the Information Age. Some guys benefited more(bad boys and bums) than others. In addition, we were fed a Disney wk mindset growing up and a lot of us learned the hard way eventually. This is just men adapting to their game, not the end of traditional dating. Last, there's never been something called traditional dating, this is just bullshvt nostalgia coming from retarded baby boomers.

I agree with you in most of your post, but I'm going to have to claim sour grapes on the baby boomers remark because my parents are just that...baby boomers, and had been married 45 years and yes, til death they parted. Some of that had rubbed off on me, but I'm wondering if all these sour grape speeches are things we tell ourselves just to make ourselves feel better about just going around attepting to do the "Netflix and chill" thing with women.

Are some of us trying to go from one side of the team to the other, and justify the whole "no more Mr. Nice Guy" facade?

This may warrant a new thread of those who are just venting nice guys who are simply frustrated and use this site as an outlet for venting.

 

[Bible_Belt]

So seriously, do you think that dude had no game, or was there some validity of just cutting through what HE thought was the bureaucratic red tape of dating and just doin' the "Netflix and chill" thing?

To me, having game is being able to pick out a woman who is down to fvck, out of all the online noise, and then also meeting her at a bar first for a couple of drinks. That is an effective ice-breaker, and it is well worth the $20 or so you'll spend. I have fvcked a lot of random girls from craigslist and fetlife, and I actually demand to meet at a bar first. I don't trust anyone who invites me straight to their house, without being seen in a public place first. I pick out a well-lit chain restaurant like Chili's or Applebees, and then sit at the bar near the cash register. If I'm going to get robbed or murdered by some crazy scheming b!tch, then she is damn well going to be on a security video with me that evening. The people who really want to do such a thing are not going to accept that offer, so it weeds them out.

 

[Julian]

this thread began with "woman started complaining".

thats when I stopped reading this thread.

 

[The Duke]

Guys ThisNThat is a woman. Stop replying to her and so she will go away.

Hmmm @ThisNThat .....you infiltrate a men's forum and complain about men being men......now that's how a woman behaves isn't it. I'd of given you the boot a long time ago.

Everybody Else-

Here are some clues:

- Men are never this wordy in conversation.
- Men don't cry because men are using "disturbing verbiage" like she posted about in her other thread.
- Men's thoughts aren't all over the place.
-Men don't start as many new threads as she does.
-Talks just like an emotional woman that makes little rational sense.
-In most all of her postings they echo a negative sentiment towards men disguised as an attempt to gain male insight.
-She doesn't want to know how women think, she wants to know how men think. Don't you find that very odd for a "man"?
-She complains about men being men.

MODS- YOU need to delete her. She offers no value and is a fraud. If you have been paying attention, she has almost given herself away several times. I can't understand why you are ok with this, yet ole PoonKing is real as they come, had a tremendous amount to offer and you delete him. Notice she won't jack with me when I call her out, she knows I'll smash her plastic ball sack if she starts schitt so she plays its cool not to draw attention to the fact she is a fake.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Its all about the rate of return, men no longer invest in unsure assets.

Bingo and Urbanist got it totally right, men being logical calculate a cost benefits ratio, its based on past experience and direct observation.

That explains why guys swipe right all girls on tinder and open with a "hi", because the rate of return is so low that even bothering to read her boring bio or the poetry she put instead of her bio is time wasted.

If you get a reply 1 time out of 10, its totally pointless to read 10 bios even if its just 10 seconds...if the rate of return was 9 out of 10 then women could count on personalized first messages and investment.

Women just have to realize that its them playing the music and men just dance accordingly.

 

[Serenity]

That dude just wanted to fuck, he doesn't care about having an interpersonal relationship. That's fair enough, women who are not into that can just decline.

People react to way too much things nowadays and compulsively shares it on social media. The only forgotten tradition here is keeping in mind that people are different, with different goals at different times.

Just because she wants a relationship involving more than sex does not mean everyone does. Just because a few guys who contacted her just wanna fuck doesn't mean every guy is like that and what she's looking for isn't out there. Why do people complain about perfectly normal stuff? People are triggering all over the place over nothing.

 

[ubercat]

She needs to take on the advice we would give out here. Raise her value so she is worthy of an ltr. She's hit the wall and her golden v no longer has the pulling power.

I had 6 months back on the market in 2015. Manly online dating a few from cold approach. I was pretty rusty after a series of ltrs. But I had my game years so I snapped back pretty quickly. Overall the two things that struck me were how bad the attention whoring had got and how boring most women were. So many were just corporate drones. And these were attractive women in their 30s they still hadn't grown a personality by then. Which is another reason I like women from the old countries at least they have culture behind them.

 

[ThisNThat]

Somehow it's cool to be bummy, sociopathic, egotistical, and violent in America. These are the traits that make American women spread their legs

So does this justify changing into these people in order to attract women? Changing your frame as they call it here? If you're not wired to be sociopathic, violent, and egoistical...should you change (over to the dark side) just so you can attract women?

 

[ThisNThat]

The goal of life is to escape finding yourself among the ranks of the insane - Marcus Aurelius.

But since you still love your drama and petty romance, keep playing it.

There is nothing wrong with romance. But there is something wrong with taking it seriously. Once you see through the illusion of people and social constructs, once you realize that life is just one big cosmic joke, you learn to still live life but you don't take life as seriously as you used to.

Believe you me, I have crossed that point...at least most of it. Although, what keeps me hopeful is the fact I have a small group of close friends that are still married and STILL very happy. One that's been 10 years married and still in love. Of course, they never had children and in their 50s, so that helps. lol But I think I know of a couple of 20+ year married friends that are doing well. If you know a married couple, both of them, personally, you can feel the vibe between them is pretty cool

They do admit they've had their challenges as most marriages, do...but that comes with the deal. I take it these are the exceptions.

I've noticed with their personalities, they are rather easy going and have personalities that gel pretty well.

They GET each other, which helps the marriage along. They aren't hot heads or people that get all defensive. And if they are both like that, it helps, too

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

There is nothing wrong with romance. But there is something wrong with taking it seriously. Once you see through the illusion of people and social constructs, once you realize that life is just one big cosmic joke, you learn to still live life but you don't take life as seriously as you used to.

To see through everything is to see nothing.