Men being trained chumpified ball-less PVSSIES can be seen even HERE!

[Rescue Mission]

http://espn.go.com/espnradio/player?rd=1#/podcenter/?id=5150789&autoplay=1&callsign=ESPNRADIO

That's right, an ESPN fantasy baseball podcast........they take fantasy baseball emails and answer questions, and in a surprising twist, some guy writes in an email something along the lines of "how can I successfully live with my girlfriend and still listen to fantasy baseball?" and the hosts actually go on to answer his question in a seriously chump-azz beta pvssy way that made my skin crawl!!

Start listening at the 21:30 mark, and you will hear a superbly pvssified 3 minute analysis on how to deal with living with a woman, from an unlikely source - an ESPN fantasy baseball podcast??!!??!!

 

[speed dawg]

This is a funny subject. I do what I want pretty much all the time and make the significant other go along with it, but I do not just thoroughly enjoy pissing her off either. Do women (wives and girlfriends in particular) have a legit gripe with this type of stuff?

Because at this point in my life, I have to prioritize. I can't be spending a bunch of nights on the computer wasting hours on fantasy baseball, you know? Wouldn't it be a good thing, for a good wife, to remind you sometimes what you really should be doing with your time?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Interesting topic. You see, whenever a Man engages in any leisure activity, passion, hobby, etc. that doesn't directly benefit his wife/GF it's always perceived as a waste of time. If she cannot realize a tangible result that benefits her - or by way of her, the "family" or the "relationship" - your effort is pointless and frivolous in contrast to engaging her, entertaining her or relating with her.

That said, you can stretch this association quite a bit. If you enjoy playing basketball after work with friends or hitting the gym, there is a benefit to her - your improved health, better looks, less fat, etc. so the "hobby" is more tolerable. You could eve make the case that playing X-Box helps you decompress after a hard day at work, but this is less tolerable than something that has tangible benefits or at least the association of benefits. You have to learn how to mediate this in an LTR. It's actually a fantastic opportunity to maintain the frame within an LTR if you have the wherewithal to endure her protests. I have a LOT of passions and interests that I enjoy. Some directly benefit my wife, others don't, but the moment I give one up, I surrender, that's the moment she loses respect for my authority as a Man. I fully acknowledge there are interests I have that Mrs. Tomassi despises, but were to go "OK honey, you win, I'll stop it with such and such" I lose prominence.

Nothing irks me more than AFC husbands who abdicated their authority and prominence by ceasing things that they loved prior to marriage. And then tell me how "thankful" they are that they married a woman who "allows" him to watch Hockey occasionally on the little TV set they have in their bedroom (not the widescreen in the living room). If guys are obsessively playing fantasy football or baseball in preference to banging their wives, I think the first place to start is with the wife. Most often it's a referendum on her.

 

[5string]

Rollo....disagree to a point. You say if the hobby has no benefit to a woman then it's perceived as a waste of time. I know you have expanded on that comment in your post and think most of it is right on. Before I married my wife, I'd sit and play my banjo, guitar and mandolin. I'd also play with other people at my home or theirs. I did, and do this alot. She has absolutely no problem with it. I have also been watching most of the Stanley Cup playoffs on the TV (big screen). No problem there either. Guess it just depends on the particular woman sometimes.

 

[In$tinct]

Nothing irks me more than AFC husbands who abdicated their authority and prominence by ceasing things that they loved prior to marriage. And then tell me how "thankful" they are that they married a woman who "allows" him to watch Hockey occasionally on the little TV set they have in their bedroom (not the widescreen in the living room). If guys are obsessively playing fantasy football or baseball in preference to banging their wives, I think the first place to start is with the wife. Most often it's a referendum on her.

I agree, but in some cases, the husband or wife, can take it too far. Once your hobby becomes an “obsession” especially if it is a non-value added hobby to the relationship; there will be a breaking point.

My former wife was addicted to Zumba (A Latin dance fitness class) I wasn’t overly concerned because, in return, I got the heath benefits that you mentioned earlier in your post.

But, I have a friend of mine that was/is completely obsessed with WOW. (World of Warcraft) He played that junk so often, that even I, a gamer myself, had to ask him what the hell he was thinking. Needless to say, him and his wife are now going through a divorce.

I was, and am still friends with both of them.

She has told me “I would walk through the room where he plays in just my bra and panties, and he would basically try looking around me to see the screen.”

He claimed that he thought, “Everything was ok… I had no idea that she had an issue with me playing because she never complained.”

Obviously, there were deep seeded issues in the relationship, and WOW wasn’t the reason it failed. But, in this case, I do think he should have been more self aware, and if he valued the marriage, he should have set some limits on his playing time. She, in turn, should have voiced her concerns and worked out a solution.

I don’t think either party should completely sacrifice something they enjoy doing whether it adds value to the relationship or not. It is part of who you are, and your spouse should accept it. But, I also think we need to use some discretion, and not spend a majority of our time on activities or hobbies that do little but waste our valuable time.

 

[speed dawg]

I agree, but in some cases, the husband or wife, can take it too far. Once your hobby becomes an “obsession” especially if it is a non-value added hobby to the relationship; there will be a breaking point.

My former wife was addicted to Zumba (A Latin dance fitness class) I wasn’t overly concerned because, in return, I got the heath benefits that you mentioned earlier in your post.

But, I have a friend of mine that was/is completely obsessed with WOW. (World of Warcraft) He played that junk so often, that even I, a gamer myself, had to ask him what the hell he was thinking. Needless to say, him and his wife are now going through a divorce.

I was, and am still friends with both of them.

She has told me “I would walk through the room where he plays in just my bra and panties, and he would basically try looking around me to see the screen.”

He claimed that he thought, “Everything was ok… I had no idea that she had an issue with me playing because she never complained.”

Obviously, there were deep seeded issues in the relationship, and WOW wasn’t the reason it failed. But, in this case, I do think he should have been more self aware, and if he valued the marriage, he should have set some limits on his playing time. She, in turn, should have voiced her concerns and worked out a solution.

I don’t think either party should completely sacrifice something they enjoy doing whether it adds value to the relationship or not. It is part of who you are, and your spouse should accept it. But, I also think we need to use some discretion, and not spend a majority of our time on activities or hobbies that do little but waste our valuable time.

Good post, I agree on all points.

Boils down to moderation in my opinion. Life in general goes. Some dudes get addicted to porn. Me personally, I think porn helps some marriages, but at the same time can destroy them. Like you said, usually comes down to some other internal problem.

Your last sentence, which I highlighted, is what I was referring to in my earlier post. So it really all depends on the context of the situation. Rollo T is correct too, in that particular context.

 

[WestCoaster]

Rollo is right.

Example: Friend of mine who is really into baseball and was a good high school coach was dating this woman, then got engaged. We went out to dinner, first time I met her. She tells my friend, right in front of me: "When we get married, you're done coaching."

Holy sh-t! While coaching was a sidelight (he worked on a farm), it was his passion. He nodded and agreed. Right then and there I knew she was wrong for him, despite that she was also ugly and b-tchy.

Anyway, flash forward ... they get divorced, he lives in north Idaho, she moved to western Washington, 300 miles away. No surprise, they had a kid. So they have this agreement every few weeks to drive 150 miles each (halfway) to drop the kid off. What a freaking mess.

I just wish at that moment that was presented to me -- his AFC moment, her b-tch moment -- that I would've spoken up: "Greg, you need to not walk away from this relationship, but RUN from it."

I didn't say anything, which was stupid. We all make our own beds, but I think I could've contributed something important by saying something.

 

[Zarky]

Men who have few or no sexual options will always be walked on by women, no matter how much "game" they have. That's why I always say that almost all relationship problems can be solved by dating multiple women at a time.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

But, I have a friend of mine that was/is completely obsessed with WOW. (World of Warcraft)

I agree, and I personally know similar guys and stories, however there is a kind of hierarchy of leisure activities, hobbies, passions, etc. that women rank based on how it relates to themselves and the social perceptions that are associated with it. For instance, I'm an artist. In fact I hold a BFA and I use my talents in my line of work as well as for my own personal pleasure. If I'm painting wildlife, portraiture, or something of "substance" that impresses people, this is a form of social proof that my wife will happily endorse because she enjoys being associated with it, even if it's vicariously through me. However, if I thought my true calling was to illustrate manga or draw cartoons, she would be less supportive of that incrementally depending on our peer group, social perceptions, her personal perceptions and of course mitigated by financial costs, etc.

Sometimes it's not so much the activity as it is the perception of that activity. Playing WoW brings nothing to the table for her and it isolates her, therefore it would be ranked the lowest. This is an easy illustration. It gets far more complicated when a guy's life passion is music, art or sports.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Men who have few or no sexual options will always be walked on by women, no matter how much "game" they have. That's why I always say that almost all relationship problems can be solved by dating multiple women at a time.

Have a read: Plate Theory