Men are not emotionally mature

[manfrombelow]

Well I didn't follow the link. So I don't really care what it says or who said it.

I'm just going to respond to the first line of the post:

I’ve heard alot of this from women lately: that men, especially in their 30s and 40s, are not emotionally mature for a full relationship. They are never serious, act like children and women are frustrated they cannot a meaningful deep connection and relationship.

I am forced by what I personally observe to agree with it. I spend a lot of time on Reddit dealing with these guys. It is either the woman writing in complaining about her BF acting that way,...or it is a guy writing in complaining about his GF dumping him as he demonstrates this to be true about himself right before my eyes. However I would depart from the quote above in that I see it with 20's and 30's. I think it is a lot of guys being raised by single mothers. He learned everything he knows about social interactions from his mom. So he never grew up. He socializes feminine,...he argues feminine,...he fights feminine, he is "scared" of everything. He spent his whole life "pleasing mom" so he gets a GF and she becomes the new mom,...it is all about how to please her. His mom made all the decisions, so he deferes to the GF for everything,...what she wants, where she wants, when she wants, she plans, she decides,...she is for all intents and purposes,..."Mom". Heck, she may ever drive him everywhere,...maybe he can't even drive, ...unless it is a video game. I personally watched one girl,...with my own eyes, in person, trying to teach her BF to ride a bicycle,...and she was 17, and HOT. She could get about any guy she wanted, but to her credit she was "trying" to make it happen with this guy.

Agreed.

Basically, "emotionally immature men" do exist, but I just call them "immature men" in general.

Mostly they are "damaged" (if you will) men who were raised by single mothers in families that lacked a strong, leading and healthy father figure. These men absorbed the feminine energy from their mothers like a sponge, so they are bad at controlling their emotions and always speak and/or act on random impulses, like a woman.

 

[deBrito]

And yet I see all the memes and girl shyt floating around how “adulting” sucks.
yet she is attracted the the boyishness that men tend to display at times.

Yet her drive is not to be bored and get constant emotional input. The highs and lows. The Greek tragedy followed by the aftermath of resolution. The quest for bigger and better.

Though much of the stuff posted by OP is indicative of a feminized society, I don’t believe it is related to the woman in the article. These are two separate things.

This is a woman who now wants to get “serious” about a relationship. Too late lady. That ship is heading towards the horizon. You loose. you had hundreds of chances. Bye.

Emotional maturity is an older wiser man who is calm in a firestorm. He radiates optimum survival and self discipline. He knows how to play and yet it has the feel of danger if you look closely enough. This is emotional maturity.
he can be tender and ruthless at the EXACT moment both are required. He doesn’t display the wrong emotions for the wrong situation. He looks. He observes.

He doesn’t bash her with any real anger. He uses discipline on a very fine gradient. In other words, he doesn’t correct with a sledge hammer. He guides and then leaves the decision up to her. There is no anger and there isn't Any wrong emotion for the situation. He feels correctly for the situation.

All and full range of emotions are easily accessed. He chooses based on his experience and observation. he is temperate yet firm. He is granite covered with silk. He rules his world.

That would be emotional maturity. It is a state of being. Not a goofy bast@rd still trying to game her because he’s afraid she will bounce on him. He knows that if a woman doesn’t come to him, she doesn’t exist beyond the multitude of people outside of himself. She steps up because she sees an infinite amount of possibilities. Almost guaranteed survival. She will protect him with a vehement battle readiness. After all, he’s the single point of light.

Thanks for this input right here. It made me reflect real hard.

Have you achieved this state already?

 

[BadBoy89]

You make some good points but this doesn't mean that the original article doesn't also do the same.

What good points does the article make?

 

[deBrito]

Yes it’s internalized. Women always notice me. Some 20+ years younger watch what I do. I’m not even flattered by it because it’s doesn’t have a purpose but my own. Sometimes I struggle for the words. Written and verbal
Language falls short at times.
if what I wrote impinged on you then you are closer than you think. Most will not even be able to see it.
Well done.

Honestly your short text with simple words were enough for the deliver.

"He doesn’t display the wrong emotions for the wrong situation. He looks. He observes." - The emotions are not supressed, they are allocated for the optimal situation, he feels all the emotions, as they cannot be controlled to the point of not feeling anything.

"All and full range of emotions are easily accessed. He chooses based on his experience and observation. he is temperate yet firm. He is granite covered with silk. He rules his world." - Experience with correction is everything, one cannot fake experience... He rules his world. I saw an interview with Robert O'Neil, the DEVGRU operator who shot Bin Laden, and he said that in-route to the compound he felt all the emotions, but through experience and discipline he guided his mind towards focus, amazing at least.

"That would be emotional maturity. It is a state of being." - Every man should aspire to have this. Good shape, good face, good height, good anything, is just a bunch of mess without a disciplined mind.

You sir probably put women into various phrases of the text because of the context and to serve as illustration, but what you said serves for a greater porpouse then just women.

If i got my interpretations wrong please correct me.

 

[Georgepithyou]

You are a deprecating asset. Hard for a man to be serious when your looks are crashing and burning by the minute.

Even a Ferrari is a used car once it's been driven

 

[Robert28]

By "men" they means the ones that wont commit to them. Plenty of emotionally mature men out there for them to choose from, but they pick these guys then complain about them.

“Chad wants to party and won’t text me back. Beta billy keeps blowing me up asking me out for the billionth time. Life sucks!”

 

[Robert28]

You can basically never trust what women say about other men because they edit reality to serve their own narrative. It's the nature of the hamster and female solipsism. They don't even do it consciously. It's innate to the female mind.

Example - Chick gets dumped by a successful guy. Chick rewrites history and says he was abusive. Suddenly all men are abusive in her world.

Example 2 - Chick is involved with a playboy and wants to tie him down and get married. Playboy dumps her and goes off with a younger chick. The chick that got dumped rewrites him as emotionally immature. Suddenly all guys are emotionally immature in her world.

"Where are all the good men?" she whines, as she farts chad's cvm out of her prolapsed assh0le

Example 3 - guy she turned down after 3 dates because there was “no spark for her”, goes about his business and becomes successful and is dating someone 10 years younger than her. Suddenly men are gross because they go after younger women and it’s “creepy”. Never mind the fact that she dumped said guy when she could have landed him, but she was waiting on Chad to come back around.

 

[B80]

A woman I know whose in her late 40's (used to sleep with her over 15 years ago, she's unhappily married with kids now) texts me from time to time. She asked to see photos of a girl I was seeing earlier this year. I said she's attractive isn;t she and the married woman went off on one about how I'm too looks focused, its not all about looks etc. Clearly aware her best days are long behind her and trying to shame me for being shallow.

Funny how she keeps sending me pictures of when she's had her hair, eyebrows done etc, ha!

 

[bat soup]

I’ve heard alot of this from women lately: that men, especially in their 30s and 40s, are not emotionally mature for a full relationship. They are never serious, act like children and women are frustrated they cannot a meaningful deep connection and relationship.

If He's Emotionally Immature, GTFO — He'll Never Change

If your guy is unable to act like a grown-ass man who has his act together, you need to get out before you're in too deep. Here's why:

www.bolde.com

My response to men not being emotionally mature:

1. You are not virgin. Once you were not a virgin, all bets are off
2. You have the power, through legal means and otherwise, to financially and socially destroy the man if you are not happy. Public will back you as well.
3. You are a deprecating asset. Hard for a man to be serious when your looks are crashing and burning by the minute.

Thoughts?

That's funny. If a man doesn't want to do what they want (sign over their wealth and give up their freedom for their benefit) then they're "children".

Women used to know and understand that they had to provide something in exchange for what they expected to get from a relationship. Now they want everything for free. A hot 20 year old that will cook and clean, stay loyal and look after the children has value to a man. A 30-40 year old that wants to contribute nothing, biatch and moan all day and then leave along with a man's money whenever they feel like it has negative value.

 

[Grounded eagle]

On the contrary, most men learn the hard way through hardship and suffering to control their emotions. But most women don't because they never had to. So most women just float through lives like mindless children that they are.

Amen to that. I moved through life just feeling like there was something wrong with the way the sexes interacted.

 

[Grounded eagle]

As a rule, women are terrible at relationships. Absolutely horrible at it. So they would never be a viable source of relationship knowledge.

Everything is viewed from their emotional barometer. Coupled with social power equals disaster.

They are utterly illogical.They do not really know what they want.

 

[dude99]

I’ve heard alot of this from women lately: that men, especially in their 30s and 40s, are not emotionally mature for a full relationship. They are never serious, act like children and women are frustrated they cannot a meaningful deep connection and relationship.

If He's Emotionally Immature, GTFO — He'll Never Change

If your guy is unable to act like a grown-ass man who has his act together, you need to get out before you're in too deep. Here's why:

www.bolde.com

My response to men not being emotionally mature:

1. You are not virgin. Once you were not a virgin, all bets are off
2. You have the power, through legal means and otherwise, to financially and socially destroy the man if you are not happy. Public will back you as well.
3. You are a deprecating asset. Hard for a man to be serious when your looks are crashing and burning by the minute.

Thoughts?

Ironic how Most woman are not any more emotionally mature than a 14 or 15 year old. They don't have to be because at this age she has figured out how to manipulate men any way so they don't mature past this point until they are forced to. Aka post wall.

Any girl that pulls the "he isn't emotionally mature or ready has an agenda.

Her words may be "you're not emotionally mature."

Her meaning is, " i'm looking for a rich good looking guy that i can latch my waggon to, use him and his resources to get ahead in life and if things don't work out i can take him for half of his money and assets and use his money to start over.

 

[Epicenter]

One test for maturity is to be able to discuss politics without losing it.

Maturity would befor example to be to be 'beta' in the forum.

 

[PRW63]

A woman is dualistic in nature. Her regular life vs. her sexual proclivities. She is born with a dualistic survival strategy. And YES, part of her strategy is to extract resources. It doesn’t matter how much money she makes, she will dwell in security of a stable secure man to protect her. BUT, this has little to do with biological desire and breeding.

This is seen also in their dualistic Hypergamy. They look for the Alpha, the "Hawt Guy", for genes and strong babies, and for his physical protection. They look for the Beta Provider for resources and financial security/protection. In the past, you used to be able to find both in the same man. But feminism has destroyed that in our society and you either find one type of man or the other, and the majority are on the Beta side.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

The thing that strikes me about this whole discussion is this:

Each individual only has control over themselves and where they are in life has everything to do with the culmination of decisions made over time. Situations beyond one’s control certainly exist. But each person owns their response to the circumstances that they find themselves in, whether they had a hand in creating those circumstances or not.

Once a person realizes this (and many people, maybe even MOST people never do their entire lives), an interesting shift occurs. People become the embodiment of the

Serenity Prayer:

Grant me the ability to

1. Accept the things I cannot change
2. Have the courage to change the things I can
3. Have the wisdom to know the difference

Often it is the 3rd point that people struggle with, trying to control things they cannot have dominion over, whether it be other individuals, other people’s feelings etc. We each have dominion over ourselves.

Many people are also abdicating of their responsibilities to themselves. Looking for someone else to protect, do for them and handle life for them. A phenomenon more common to women but certainly present in plenty of men as well.

 

[BeExcellent]

How this affects male/female dynamics is that relationships take on a transactional paradigm.

I will exchange this for that type relationships, which will not be satisfying over time because emotional depth is not achieved.

Classic examples are:

1. He buys dinner, she gives sex. (He has indirectly purchased her sex)

2. He gives resources, she gives compliance (sexual and otherwise)...

It is almost like a job. He’s paying so she shows up. If he stops paying she no longer shows up.

A better way is to give. People who give of themselves to others may or may not recieve in proportion to what is given. The joy must reside in the giving itself, not in the expectation of reciprocity. As people age and gain greater life experience and experience hurts and disappointments it becomes harder to continue to give with purity of heart. Bitterness and jadedness can easily set in. Which results in the narratives and attitudes of the article presented by the OP.

A pure heart wipes clean the hurts and disappointments of the past and is open to give, and to love. Few people can do this in their 40s and 50s and beyond.

But ones peace and serenity rely on the ability to do this in the face of and despite of the pain that life presents.

And life presents pain to all of us. Irrespective of sexual status. How we handle that pain defines who we are and how we interact with others around us.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

it's not your fault if you're ****ed up, but it is your fault if you STAY ****ed up