Men are also hypergamous – A theory

ChuckBass

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So I've dated like 4 HB 9s in their prime (21-25 years old) in the past year and had to pick between 2 of them in the past month and it made me realize that women are not the only hypergamous sex, they just have more options.

The power of having choices is intoxicating and changes the game. It changes your whole perspective, you get more confident, you don't really care about one particular girl because you know you can always get another one, and you realize the power of orbiters (girls in this case), to whom you can monkey branch if your girl start to act up. The amount of confidence this gives you only compounds the number of girls you can get and lowers the treshold you tolerate when it comes to your girl not treating you right or respecting you. It is much easier to set boundaries and actually enforce them when there is a HB 9 waiting for you to hit her up.

The whole point of my theory (and it is only a theory, so feel free to offer your opinion on it), is that men should not blame women for being hypergamous. Why wouldn't they be? If you could date Irina Shayk, would you stay with your current girlfriend? If Victoria Secret model would flirt with you and try to sleep with you in the club, would you stay loyal? I think many of you wouldn't.

Wouldn't you hit your orbiter HB 9 from time to time to remind you of her, even if you are not actually meeting up with her and cheating on your partner? Having more branches to swing on gives you the feeling security and reduces the chance of forming oneitis and your girlfriend leaving and you getting depressed for 6 months. Wouldn't you (if you could), spend your age 20-30 sleeping around with hot drunk party models every weekend who you know are no good for being your wife and mother of your children, and start to look for other qualities in a girl when you get ready to settle down? I actually believe girls are rational when it comes to being hypergamous and we as men should accept it and don't feel bitter about it.

I believe both men and women are the same, women in today's society just have many, many more options. So what can we as men do? Strive to get better, to get more money, to get more muscles and improve your game, and you will get more options.

What are your thoughts?
 

bat soup

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So I've dated like 4 HB 9s in their prime (21-25 years old) in the past year and had to pick between 2 of them in the past month and it made me realize that women are not the only hypergamous sex, they just have more options.

The power of having choices is intoxicating and changes the game. It changes your whole perspective, you get more confident, you don't really care about one particular girl because you know you can always get another one, and you realize the power of orbiters (girls in this case), to whom you can monkey branch if your girl start to act up. The amount of confidence this gives you only compounds the number of girls you can get and lowers the treshold you tolerate when it comes to your girl not treating you right or respecting you. It is much easier to set boundaries and actually enforce them when there is a HB 9 waiting for you to hit her up.

The whole point of my theory (and it is only a theory, so feel free to offer your opinion on it), is that men should not blame women for being hypergamous. Why wouldn't they be? If you could date Irina Shayk, would you stay with your current girlfriend? If Victoria Secret model would flirt with you and try to sleep with you in the club, would you stay loyal? I think many of you wouldn't.

Wouldn't you hit your orbiter HB 9 from time to time to remind you of her, even if you are not actually meeting up with her and cheating on your partner? Having more branches to swing on gives you the feeling security and reduces the chance of forming oneitis and your girlfriend leaving and you getting depressed for 6 months. Wouldn't you (if you could), spend your age 20-30 sleeping around with hot drunk party models every weekend who you know are no good for being your wife and mother of your children, and start to look for other qualities in a girl when you get ready to settle down? I actually believe girls are rational when it comes to being hypergamous and we as men should accept it and don't feel bitter about it.

I believe both men and women are the same, women in today's society just have many, many more options. So what can we as men do? Strive to get better, to get more money, to get more muscles and improve your game, and you will get more options.

What are your thoughts?
But you're talking about looks. Guys want the most attractive girl they can get and, generally, as many hot women as possible. They don't care much if the women are rich or poor.

Hypergamy refers to income - i.e. women are looking to date a guy that earns more money than them in order to improve their lifestyle.
 

2Rocky

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I'll admit to being Hypergamous...to a point.

Women from a higher income bracket to me are more classy and have better social skills. I married poor and poor people have poor ways. This in turn changed my personal perspective and I lowered my standards for personal achievement because of it. You are a product of your environment and you will rise to your level if you have people around you who challenge you in achievements.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

PRW63

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you sir are full of $hit....

Then I guess Rollo Tomassi, a founding moderator of this forum and author of The Rational Male 4 book series, and host of the Rule Zero podcast is full of $hit. I'm proud to be in such good company.

It begins around 24 mintues into the video.

 
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2Rocky

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I'm sure he is glad you bought into it. As a reproductive physiologist I can tell you that , the menstrual cycle is nothing more than a hormone cycle which elicits different emotions based on hormone balance or imbalance.

Most of you use Hypergamy as a cop out anyway for your own shortcomings. Might as well blame Astrology too.
 
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PRW63

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I'm sure he is glad you bought into it. As a reproductive physiologist I can tell you that , the menstrual cycle is nothing more than a hormone cycle which elicits different emotions based on hormone balance or imbalance.

Most of you use Hypergamy as a cop out anyway for your own shortcomings. Might as well blame Astrology too.
So in other words, you won't bring yourself to watch the material.
 

Bokanovsky

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I think it depends on what you mean by "hypergamy". Like "alpha" and "BDP", this term is often misused here. In a classic sense, hypergamy means marrying someone with higher social status. What determines social status is a whole different subject, however. Arguably, in today's society, it's combination of money, fame, and connections.
 

2Rocky

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So in other words, you won't bring yourself to watch the material.
If you want to prothletize go join the Mormon church. Onya Bike....

I'm getting real tired of people quoting internet experts. So many people bastardize buzzwords and take their interpretations off on a tangents. So many of the "PUA Messiahs" throughout the years have been exposed as frauds, given up their path, changed their stand on women and relationships, and acknowledged the toxicity of the whole PUA/GAME/SEDUCTION, that the experts are as trustworthy as televangelists.

What I don't hear is people encouraging each other to better themselves. Career, Physical Health, and Mental health. instead they quote PUA Scripture like the Backsliding Double standard Deacon caught in the cathouse.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

taiyuu_otoko

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Hypergamy is specific to women, to marry up the social status/income scale.

For men it would be always wanting younger and hotter ladies with less body count.

Don't know of a specific definition, it was probably blacklisted from Earth by feminism.

Men want younger and hotter women just like women want richer and higher status men.

As women get older this gets harder.

As men get older it can get easier, but it takes plenty of effort.

Women play the short game, while men can play the long game if they stay focused.

It's basic economics. Everybody wants to get the most while offering the least.

As men get older they can offer more.

As women get older they can offer less.

Consider spending more time improving yourself rather than spending all your time online pretending to be a hypergamy scientist.
 

Kotaix

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Women's power is built-in. The most beautiful woman on the planet has power over all men. And the ugliest has zero power.

Men must build themselves. It doesn't matter if you are badly crippled midget, if you build yourself into a mental giant then women will give you attention.

Men monkeybranch on looks. Women monkeybranch on capability.
 

PRW63

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If you want to prothletize go join the Mormon church.
So, ...."No"

I'm getting real tired of people quoting internet experts. So many people bastardize buzzwords and take their interpretations off on a tangents
So that is your opinion of one of the people who practically built this forum and put in on the map?
 

Bingo-Player

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Not sure i agree

i left the pick up scene when i was 24, and i left because i was tired of it

I slept with a lot of women and had a lot of fun , but the partying and lifestyle was exhausting ,expensive and time consuming

When you have a lot of plates on rotation it's hard to focus or find motivation to do anything else , when i settled with my GF she was maybe 2 points beneath me but she was a good girl and she ticked nearly every box i enjoyed the stability and the companionship to be honest for around 3 years i wasn't really interested in anything else

we had a great 4 years together but by the end the relationship had just run its course the sexual attraction between us had been dwindling for a long time ( and i'm now questioning if it was really ever there to begin with ) but i can't say either of us left for something better we just wanted different things

i was just longing to start sleeping with other women again and wanted to do it while i was still in my prime , she wanted someone that was ready to get married and have kids

I'm intending on fulfilling the last of my sexual desires now over the next couple years maybe conquer 100 women and then by 35 i'm hoping i'll be ready to settle again maybe this time for good with kids and stuff

although on that note i have always had that fantasy of my young secretary coming into my office when i am in my 40's and stripping down to her suspenders so who knows i may be forced back here in my 40's time will tell
 

Fruitbat

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The difference is, women search for the perfect partner. The best sperm. Men search for a harem. That’s not naturally what we do, but it’s the biological reality.

This means that a man in a relationship who is comfortable will only tend to seek liaisons and nothing more. A woman on the other hand, when offered a better option, will leave.

I think men, once they have banged the other woman a few times, are less likely to leave. For women, the goal is the relationship, not that bang, hence she is less likely to seek the liaison but more likely to actually break up a home and leave a dude on his a$$.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Fruitbat

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Not sure i agree

i left the pick up scene when i was 24, and i left because i was tired of it

I slept with a lot of women and had a lot of fun , but the partying and lifestyle was exhausting ,expensive and time consuming

When you have a lot of plates on rotation it's hard to focus or find motivation to do anything else , when i settled with my GF she was maybe 2 points beneath me but she was a good girl and she ticked nearly every box i enjoyed the stability and the companionship to be honest for around 3 years i wasn't really interested in anything else

we had a great 4 years together but by the end the relationship had just run its course the sexual attraction between us had been dwindling for a long time ( and i'm now questioning if it was really ever there to begin with ) but i can't say either of us left for something better we just wanted different things

i was just longing to start sleeping with other women again and wanted to do it while i was still in my prime , she wanted someone that was ready to get married and have kids

I'm intending on fulfilling the last of my sexual desires now over the next couple years maybe conquer 100 women and then by 35 i'm hoping i'll be ready to settle again maybe this time for good with kids and stuff

although on that note i have always had that fantasy of my young secretary coming into my office when i am in my 40's and stripping down to her suspenders so who knows i may be forced back here in my 40's time will tell
you might but by that time you’ll probably be much more worried about the potential lawsuit and divorce.

better to just pay someone to do it discreetly than the real thing. Definitely not worth the fall out
 

RBK

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i was just longing to start sleeping with other women again and wanted to do it while i was still in my prime , she wanted someone that was ready to get married and have kids
This never goes away, married with kids or not. Its always built into us.
 

Pandora

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The difference is, women search for the perfect partner. The best sperm. Men search for a harem. That’s not naturally what we do, but it’s the biological reality.

This means that a man in a relationship who is comfortable will only tend to seek liaisons and nothing more. A woman on the other hand, when offered a better option, will leave.

I think men, once they have banged the other woman a few times, are less likely to leave. For women, the goal is the relationship, not that bang, hence she is less likely to seek the liaison but more likely to actually break up a home and leave a dude on his a$$.
100% Great way of putting it.
 

YourGreatestFear

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Women search for the best sperm but also for someone to take care of them and their children. And by default those are going to be different guys. Because almost always the highest value man she could get isn't going to be the man who considers her good enough to invest his time and resources in her.

Men have a dual sexual strategy as well. A safe strategy would be to find a woman who's going to be loyal and bear his children and then he's going to invest in them. Even when you get a harem you still follow this strategy, just with more women at the same time. And a more effective strategy would be banging different women, giving them your genes without investing your resources, and hoping that those women will trick other men into raising your children. This last strategy is why you want to bang many women and why men watch porn. Having a harem isn't our biological default but nor is complete monogamy.

In ancient times you didn't need to take care of children for 18 years, only for 5 years or so. After that, it would be time to find another woman to date. This is why humans have serial monogamy with elements of polygamy. Hypergamy isn't really a term in biology and doesn't reflect reality. Very often women don't even try to make a high-status man their long-term partner, they are just there for his genes, i.e. sex. It doesn't really matter to them if someone else is going to raise her children if she has already gotten the best genes she could. Obviously, each person is going to choose the best among the partners available to them, it's not really a "hypergamy".
 

ChuckBass

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Hypergamy is specific to women, to marry up the social status/income scale.

For men it would be always wanting younger and hotter ladies with less body count.

Don't know of a specific definition, it was probably blacklisted from Earth by feminism.

Men want younger and hotter women just like women want richer and higher status men.

As women get older this gets harder.

As men get older it can get easier, but it takes plenty of effort.

Women play the short game, while men can play the long game if they stay focused.

It's basic economics. Everybody wants to get the most while offering the least.

As men get older they can offer more.

As women get older they can offer less.

Consider spending more time improving yourself rather than spending all your time online pretending to be a hypergamy scientist.
I completely agree. I wasn't trying to say that men are hypergamous in a financial sense of the word, but that we are looking for the hottest girl we can get our hands on. Women are naturally attracted to resources and status as men are to looks, which is why men shouldn't feel bitter about women being hypergamous and leaving for a better deal, as many of us would do the same if we could.

The only difference is that men are looking for a better deal when it comes to looks, feminine energy, submisiveness etc.. The imbalance comes from women having many more options in today's dating market, which is the reason why they are usually the ones finding a better deal and moving on without a sweat.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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