Men and women can't be friends part 100000

[backbreaker]

**** never ****ing fails. Ever. I thought i had a really good friend. i'm actually kinda sad right now this was my home girl. I knew the other ones in the past liked me to some extent I could tell by their behavior but this **** threw me for a loop.

Cliff version because I have work to do

1. She knows i like massages, got me a massage gift certificate for my birthday.

2. I already get massages, but the gift certificate is not to the place that I normally go to, and I really don't feel like going out of my way to try someone knew.

3. My wife wanted a massage and I was like hey, **** lol, I got a gift certificate, knock yourself out lol.

4. This was like 2 weeks ago. I casually mention it to the girl, i mean, not a big deal right? I buy her ****, she buys me ****, i just so happen to give this to my wife.

5. She goes dark for 3 days. I mean, i didn't really notice until yesterday and I called her and i was like WTF you okay? She is like we need to talk. I'm like okay let's get a lunch.

6. She's really upset that i gave the gift certificate to my wife. I admit, that probably wasn't nice, that was for me not for my wife, but still, i think she went a little overboard. Then she's like, why do you only ever talk to me during the week, why don't you ever call me during the weekend? I'm like well **** you have a BF, and i have a wife, that's family time for me it should be BF time for you.

7. So then she's like "I'm sorry I get jealous" :nervous: . I' thinking "oh **** here it comes". The girl and I have a good enough report where I dont' even beat around the bush with her. So I'm like look, do you like me or something? And she's like, I don't know.. i didn't at first, but yeah kinda. I don't know what i want, but I know i like talking / being around you"


8. So I'm like look I'm going to be straight with you. In another world, you'd be my wife. you're drop dead gorgeous, you're smart as a whip, you're funny, your down to earth, you re in shape, you don't have any bad habits, etc. But I'm happily married.. my wife knows i'm here with you right now and she told me to tell you that she said hi, that's the type of relationship i have with my wife. i'm like, look, i've been walking on egg sheels with this issue for a while, but you and I both know that your BF isn't the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think you can do better and i think you think you can do better. If you ant to kick it more and hang out and go to the movies and **** until you find a BF, I'm down for that. But I'm not stepping out on my wife. Even if we broke up, i would not date you because you're my best friend. it's too important to me and i can find a woman.


Under normal circumstances i would have cut the girl off at this point but this is my dog. I told her look take a few days, figure out if that's cool. If you want to go bak to being friends let's do that 100%. But nothing is going to happen between us, and it's no because i'm not attracted to you it's not because i think you're a bad person, it's because i have no desire to step out on my wife. I'm head over heels in love with my wife.



The problems of being a catch lol

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think everyone here told you so.

If this were biblical times, she could be your concubine.

A lot of women who engage in threesomes aren't really that bi. They just really like the guy and will take whatever terms they can get. Women and their sexual morals are completely different than men. Your wife would probably rather you and her have threesomes with that girl than she would you and the girl be so close in a non-sexual way when she's not around.

You'll say, no, no, not MY wife. But every woman I know works that way. She'd rather you fvck the hell out of the girl in front of her than have to worry that it will go on behind her back and that you might leave her. Women are the opposite of men in that regard.

That's the point I'm at now with relationships. Monogamy is for women, not men. Any woman who says she loves me should understand.

 

[backbreaker]

my wife is actually more down for threesomes than i am. she'd be game if i really really wanted to. i just don't see how we could be normal after that so i don't even think about stuff like that.

 

[Rival]

i would like to see a picture of this girl haha

 

[Bible_Belt]

Allow me to metaphorically grab you by the shirt and shake you like we're in a 1940's movie. "Good God, man! Get yourself together!"

You have two hot women who want to have sex with you at the same time, and you can't handle it. I know one is your wife, but she's still a sex object in the bedroom. She'll still be the same wife and mother after the threesome is over. (and in my opinion, it would make her an even better wife) You seem to imply that you would think less of her afterward. It's all in your head. This problem has a simple solution, but only if you can get past those issues.

 

[FairShake]

I've never had a problem separating female friends from girlfriends. I'm pretty self-aware and, despite bad judgment at times, pretty good at reading other people.

Be aware of how you feel. Are you a friend because you genuinely enjoy their time or are you trying to get close to end up fvcking her?

I can tell if they want the d!ck and when they don't. I treat them differently despite what we're told to do and those that want it tend to want it more and those that don't tend not to.

She'll still be the same wife and mother after the threesome is over.

Had two threesomes so my sample size isn't large BUT the one with a girlfriend went south soon after because of jealousy issues. The one with some girl I was fvcking continued. There are relationships that can handle it and some that can't. He can probably figure out which one he has better than we can.

 

[VikingKing]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSrTnWDTdwI

This is you bb

 

[VikingKing]

Allow me to metaphorically grab you by the shirt and shake you like we're in a 1940's movie. "Good God, man! Get yourself together!"

You have two hot women who want to have sex with you at the same time, and you can't handle it. I know one is your wife, but she's still a sex object in the bedroom. She'll still be the same wife and mother after the threesome is over. (and in my opinion, it would make her an even better wife) You seem to imply that you would think less of her afterward. It's all in your head. This problem has a simple solution, but only if you can get past those issues.

Plus if she is down for a threesome, that still means you can stick your tootsie roll in another woman, so what difference does it make if she is there or not?

Just saying. What you can only fvck other women when your wife says you can? Quit acting like your whipped.

 

[Colossus]

A lot of women who engage in threesomes aren't really that bi. They just really like the guy and will take whatever terms they can get. Women and their sexual morals are completely different than men. Your wife would probably rather you and her have threesomes with that girl than she would you and the girl be so close in a non-sexual way when she's not around.

He's kinda right.

Not that I'm in any way advocating a threesome within a marriage, but I think when push comes to shove if your girl/wife is really in love with you she would rather you bang the 2 of them together than go behind her back.

My girl has intimated that she would do a threesome, so one day I called her out on it. At first she had all kinds of rules but the more I probed her on it the more I realized she would let me do whatever I wanted, within reason, as long as it turned me on and I ultimately finished with her.

Believe me it's a tempting idea, but I'm more concerned with the potential fallout from that than the temporary satisfaction of a threesome. Not worth losing a girl who gives me satisfaction every day.

 

[backbreaker]

it's not even about her. I don't want to share her I can't bring myself to that. Call me whatever. Plus the schematics of this particular threesome just wouldn't work, the girl is one of my better clients as well I don't dip the pen in the company ink. Plus, I care about the girl even though I don't want to date her and I don't' even want to give her a hint that i like her like that. I'm not going to keep her in the friend zone so to speak. Plus even if we were to do it it would be so f'n adkward. Plus, I know she'd be down simply because she thinks it would make me happy I don't think she'd really enjoy it all that much.


I just can't do that with the mother of my son. Can't bring myself to do that. if i were to have a threesome, it woudl be wtih a random chick that we met in a bar or something not a friend.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
Much loose talk about threesomes here...I have been Party to one five weeks ago...It was a MMF......A plate who wanted to lift her Libido,me and a real stud....I really can't come to any firm conclusions about it...It is like lifting the lid on Pandoras box ...very powerful forces were unleashed and things are far from over...Life is like a Chemical crucible,you throw the elements together and just watch the inevitability of events...Though you wont listen to me B squared,this English Girl has had a Civilising effect on you,don't Fvuck up!

 

[zekko]

I can't say I'm surprised about any of this. This is why I won't put up with girlfriends with close male "friends" or "orbiters" or whatever. Nine times out of ten this is what it turns into. Either from one side, or the other, or both. It's just asking for trouble.

I'm sure in a day or two you'll post here that everything is all okay, and she agreed to be just friends, and all is well. But do you really think she can just turn her feelings off like that? Oh well, whatever.

I don't where the fvck this sh!t about a threesome is coming from.

 

[backbreaker]

I can't say I'm surprised about any of this. This is why I won't put up with girlfriends with close male "friends" or "orbiters" or whatever. Nine times out of ten this is what it turns into. Either from one side, or the other, or both. It's just asking for trouble.

I'm sure in a day or two you'll post here that everything is all okay, and she agreed to be just friends, and all is well. But do you really think she can just turn her feelings off like that? Oh well, whatever.

I don't where the fvck this sh!t about a threesome is coming from.

she already did lol.


the thing is, i dont' think it's so much that she likes me, as much as I think that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with her BF and she knows it. It's getting "serious" between her and her BF and he's asked her to pick out a ring, and it's put up or shut up time and she's thinking about spending the rest of her life with him, and i don't think she sees it. They argue too much, and he's way too dependent on her financially and she's always stressed out becuase of it, he's 30 years old and doesn't have his own place yet, etc. He's a good guy and I know she loves him but I think she's hesitant to make the next step. She wants kids, BAD.. like the last arugmeent they got into, a pretty bad one at that, she wants a house. She has spotless credit, higher than mine lol, damn near an 800 credit score, but becuase she still has student loans, and her business showed a loss last year, her income enough on its own is not enough to get a condo with her BF. Her boyfriend can't even be put on the loan application because he has **** credit and he doesn't make 20k a year so it's pointless. But he keeps talking about getting married and talking about moving out and she snapped. She makes between the business and her 9-5 job about 75k a year which for a 27 year old female is kick ass. she's going to make more this year, but to get a half deent place in LA that's chump change.


My point being, if it wasn't me it would have been something else. I think she likes the fact that I'm financially stable and I work out everyday as does she, that's something else she doesn't like about her BF he doesn't work out. lol i really don't know how the fuc he landed her in the first place he's prettyf ucking lazy and she's not lol. i think if she could combine my work ethitic and workout habits with him, i think she would be in heaven.

 

[Alvafe]

she already did lol.


the thing is, i dont' think it's so much that she likes me, as much as I think that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with her BF and she knows it. It's getting "serious" between her and her BF and he's asked her to pick out a ring, and it's put up or shut up time and she's thinking about spending the rest of her life with him, and i don't think she sees it. They argue too much, and he's way too dependent on her financially and she's always stressed out becuase of it, he's 30 years old and doesn't have his own place yet, etc. He's a good guy and I know she loves him but I think she's hesitant to make the next step. She wants kids, BAD.. like the last arugmeent they got into, a pretty bad one at that, she wants a house. She has spotless credit, higher than mine lol, damn near an 800 credit score, but becuase she still has student loans, and her business showed a loss last year, her income enough on its own is not enough to get a condo with her BF. Her boyfriend can't even be put on the loan application because he has **** credit and he doesn't make 20k a year so it's pointless. But he keeps talking about getting married and talking about moving out and she snapped. She makes between the business and her 9-5 job about 75k a year which for a 27 year old female is kick ass. she's going to make more this year, but to get a half deent place in LA that's chump change.


My point being, if it wasn't me it would have been something else. I think she likes the fact that I'm financially stable and I work out everyday as does she, that's something else she doesn't like about her BF he doesn't work out. lol i really don't know how the fuc he landed her in the first place he's prettyf ucking lazy and she's not lol. i think if she could combine my work ethitic and workout habits with him, i think she would be in heaven.

well wanting or not I don't think you should mention anything to her about her BF, pretty much you are saying he should be surporting her with money with he or don't want or don't care.

in your case serious even if you need more friends and all like you said before (funny I remember the post last time), she is your client like you said, you should meet and being friendly yes, but most talk would be for bussiness.

well I guess it just to let time do his things, and see how it will end

 

[backbreaker]

I'm not saying she should or should not, i'm saying that it's agitating her. We talk about this **** daily damn near. I don't give a damn if she marries a hobo lol. but she's the one not happy becuase she wants a house, a family, etc.

 

[VikingKing]

I'm not saying she should or should not, i'm saying that it's agitating her. We talk about this **** daily damn near. I don't give a damn if she marries a hobo lol. but she's the one not happy becuase she wants a house, a family, etc.

Oh so she finds you attractive because you could easily provide all those things, plus your not ugly, its perfect for her.

 

[zekko]

the thing is, i dont' think it's so much that she likes me, as much as I think that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with her BF and she knows it. It's getting "serious" between her and her BF and he's asked her to pick out a ring, and it's put up or shut up time and she's thinking about spending the rest of her life with him, and i don't think she sees it. They argue too much, and he's way too dependent on her financially and she's always stressed out becuase of it, he's 30 years old and doesn't have his own place yet, etc. He's a good guy and I know she loves him but I think she's hesitant to make the next step. She wants kids, BAD.. like the last arugmeent they got into, a pretty bad one at that, she wants a house. She has spotless credit, higher than mine lol, damn near an 800 credit score, but becuase she still has student loans, and her business showed a loss last year, her income enough on its own is not enough to get a condo with her BF. Her boyfriend can't even be put on the loan application because he has **** credit and he doesn't make 20k a year so it's pointless. But he keeps talking about getting married and talking about moving out and she snapped. She makes between the business and her 9-5 job about 75k a year which for a 27 year old female is kick ass. she's going to make more this year, but to get a half deent place in LA that's chump change.

Sounds like someone's clock is ticking.

The model they teach here at SoSuave is that women go from banging alphas to settling down with a beta. Sounds to me more like she is wanting to exchange her valueless boyfriend for a partner of value. Or, maybe exchanging someone who only ticks some of the boxes for someone who is the whole package. The fun boyfriend was good enough when she was younger, but now that she is ready to settle down, she wants a real man. Of course, if she can't get it, she may yet settle for that beta.

 

[backbreaker]

he's not even "fun" per say. he's just a loser lol. i mean she met him when she was 22 years old. he's 25. at 25 dudes say a bunch of **** about what they are going to do and you can still live up to it. but 4-5 years later, he's managing a pizza shop, eh still lives at home with his mom and he still is dependent on her.


like, we are supposed to go(me and the wife and a few of her friends and their BF's) miami the week after thanksgiving and my wife invited her and her BF. i got my wife ovbiously. the girl herself, no problem at all she's ready to go. But the BF wants to go as everyone else ig oing to have their BF's with them, but eh can't afford to go so now she's gotta pay for his ticket and if she doesn't go without him he's gonna get pissy. i can see how that **** gets old.

when she met him, she was still in college, now she has a full time job and she started a business from scratch that makes really really good money. in the next 1 year or so she will be able to quit her full time job and focus on that.



Yeah she wants the family, the house, all that good stuff but she works for it.

that goes back to the if you're not going tofrward you're going backwards post i made a few years ago. funny enough they (the new BF dude) and the girl are getting married in november.

 

[nismo-4]

Alpha lays, beta pays.

Men value love, women love value.

Men and women cannot be just friends. I always believed that.

My definition of a friend is one who is there through thick and thin, no matter what. I don't get that from a female. Their definition is orbiter, as in guys who feed her ego and do things for her without getting anything in return.

 

[cordoncordon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSrTnWDTdwI

This is you bb

How do people listen to that crap? The deterioration of America continues.

Anyway.....BB a few things.

I had warned you a few months ago that all of these women you hang around with will get you into trouble sooner or later. Not that this is THAT serious, but still. You consider her a good friend and losing one would suck. Probably not a good move telling her she would be your wife under different circumstances. That will only keep her hope alive trust me.

Yep you shouldn't have given the massage cert to your wife, or if you did you shouldn't have told your friend about it. I would be put off if I had a friend who did that too. Especially if it was a bday gift.

Otherwise you handled it well.

I think at this point you are going to have to distance yourself from her for a while, until she at least gets with a guy she really likes. Because it is way too risky towards your marriage for you to keep hanging around her in her present state of mind. If your wife ever found out, and I assume you don't want to have to lie to your wife.....well that would be trouble. In fact if you really value your relationship with your wife and want nothing with this girl romantically as you say? I would tell your wife what she said and tell her you are going long distance until things cool down.

Good luck.