mellow_yellow
Don Juan
Alright, finally getting around to Set 2. I reflected on everything that's happened since Set 1 and overall, I need to approach more and really understand how to escalate effectively like a natural.
My #1 issue is escalation. I know that I'll eventually get dates from my approaches, but if I can't figure out how to escalate really well, I'm not going to go anywhere on the dates. It'll really help me out a lot if you guys can show me how you escalate from a kiss and take her back for the lay. I need to visualize how to naturally escalate so I have a reference in my head. I'm still overcoming this mental block. You can read my "date" at the bottom on how I escalated with Adriana. That's the most important journal entry I need feedback on.
Set 2, Passive Approach 1 (pharmacy girl #1)
I went to a Chinese New Year festival and there was a free health screening booth run by a pharmacy school. It was staffed by pharmacy students in training. At the body fat station, I approached a cute Chinese pharm student and asked for a check-up. The conversation was mostly about health and realizing I knew more than her about nutrition & fitness. I noticed she was leaning in very closely to me and keeping eye contact with me as we went over the health packet. Who knows if it was an IOI or not. It didn't come across to me that I should ask for her number and find out. I was focused on getting the health screening than asking her out. Afterwards, I moved onto the other stations.
I went over to the blood pressure station and sat down at an open seat with the cutest girl. I opened with a hello and I could tell she was a good girl -- soft-spoken and feminine. I looked over at her name tag and noticed she had a really long last name. I couldn't figure out what her ethnicity was so I used that question to open the conversation. I teased her lightly on how long her name was and we talked about how we both had to avoid eating out for better health. She was warm and receptive. She told me I'm eligible to spin the prize wheel after her station and I joked if I would win candy and ruin my blood sugar. I told her I'd come back if it was candy and she giggled.
Set 2, Hangouts #1 and 2 (Adriana, HB 8)
I was visiting Austin with my friend Josh and met up with an old high school classmate we haven't seen in years on a weekday. She is smart and sexy and even better, she can converse. The 3 of us had a great time catching up and talking about a lot of topics like high school stories, cities we've lived in, and how dating is going for each of us. We find out that she recently broke up with her long-distance boyfriend. I supposedly spoke eloquently as my friend said I was captivating her with my stories and when explaining why people behave the way they do in dating. I did light kino whenever I could, touching her arms and shoulders. After we hopped 3 bars, she had to leave and asked me how long I'd be in town for after my friend left. She said that we should meet up after she flies back to Austin next week from a trip and before I leave town. She asked if I had her number, but my phone's dead. I said I'd just facebook chat her and she turned to Josh and told him to give her number to me.
Days later, I met with Adriana on a Sunday. I texted her at 3:30 pm and continued on exploring the city. She texted back at 6:30 saying she was gonna grab dinner and if I'd like to join in 15 min, otherwise we can meet Monday. I said I'd meet her at this restaurant I wanted to try at 7. She got there first and texted saying she really was craving tacos and would drive us to a taco truck once I got to the restaurant. I laughed and said that was fine. I saw her at the front of the restaurant, gave her a hug, and we got in her car.
The taco truck had benches so I sat right next to her alongside other people. We were asking each other about ourselves and conversation was going really well. At one point, I turned to face her and I looked into her eyes as I was talking. I saw her eyes flicker to my left & right eyes then slightly down to my lips. My gut told me I gave her some brief sexual tension. After eating, she drives us to a dive bar.
She got this round of drinks and we head to the dive bar's patio. She already sat herself at the opposite side of the bench in front of me and I wasn't sure if I should sit right next to her. I decided to sit in front of her. I learned more about her family life and how she was avoiding her ex while she was away from Austin during the weekend. After we're done with our drinks, we drive to the last bar.
The last bar has a classy atmosphere with live music. I get this round and while I'm waiting for our drinks, I put my arm around her shoulder and chat with her about the live band. We head to the patio area and sit at a round table. She sits on a chair to my left and faces me. I pull my chair a bit closer and and as I do, I lean towards her and she pulls back quickly. To me, that was a bad sign. I almost face her and as we talk, I touch and rub her legs to emphasize my points. She doesn't react when I do this and we keep talking. More time passes by and eventually she needs to go home to wake up early for work. She says she'll probably be at the office past 7 all this week. She offers to drive me back to the hotel and before I jump out of the car, we give each other a hug and say the typical nice seeing you remarks. As I pull away, I was going to kiss her on the cheek, but miss and got her left ear instead. I went into the hotel and that was the night.
What I could've done better:
My #1 issue is escalation. I know that I'll eventually get dates from my approaches, but if I can't figure out how to escalate really well, I'm not going to go anywhere on the dates. It'll really help me out a lot if you guys can show me how you escalate from a kiss and take her back for the lay. I need to visualize how to naturally escalate so I have a reference in my head. I'm still overcoming this mental block. You can read my "date" at the bottom on how I escalated with Adriana. That's the most important journal entry I need feedback on.
Set 2, Passive Approach 1 (pharmacy girl #1)
I went to a Chinese New Year festival and there was a free health screening booth run by a pharmacy school. It was staffed by pharmacy students in training. At the body fat station, I approached a cute Chinese pharm student and asked for a check-up. The conversation was mostly about health and realizing I knew more than her about nutrition & fitness. I noticed she was leaning in very closely to me and keeping eye contact with me as we went over the health packet. Who knows if it was an IOI or not. It didn't come across to me that I should ask for her number and find out. I was focused on getting the health screening than asking her out. Afterwards, I moved onto the other stations.
What I could've done better:
Set 2, Passive Approach 2 (pharmacy girl #2) - I don't know why I didn't switch my brain over to game mode when I noticed this girl was cute. I could've easily asked her more about how she's doing in pharmacy grad school, what she does in her free time, then ask for the digits. I guess I was really into knowing my body fat % and health talk. My lesson here is to stay alert when I find a girl attractive and immediately steer the conversation into a number close. This probably happened because I framed it as innocent, casual interaction and nothing more. I never number closed in these situations out of habit. This a reminder that opportunity in dating women is around me even in casual situations.
I went over to the blood pressure station and sat down at an open seat with the cutest girl. I opened with a hello and I could tell she was a good girl -- soft-spoken and feminine. I looked over at her name tag and noticed she had a really long last name. I couldn't figure out what her ethnicity was so I used that question to open the conversation. I teased her lightly on how long her name was and we talked about how we both had to avoid eating out for better health. She was warm and receptive. She told me I'm eligible to spin the prize wheel after her station and I joked if I would win candy and ruin my blood sugar. I told her I'd come back if it was candy and she giggled.
What I could've done better:
- Again, WTF. I don't know why I didn't ask for the number. This one for sure I could've gotten.
- Let's assume I got both pharmacy girls' numbers. Would it be a bad idea to date both of them when they could be in the same class and social circle and eventually find out about me?
Set 2, Hangouts #1 and 2 (Adriana, HB 8)
I was visiting Austin with my friend Josh and met up with an old high school classmate we haven't seen in years on a weekday. She is smart and sexy and even better, she can converse. The 3 of us had a great time catching up and talking about a lot of topics like high school stories, cities we've lived in, and how dating is going for each of us. We find out that she recently broke up with her long-distance boyfriend. I supposedly spoke eloquently as my friend said I was captivating her with my stories and when explaining why people behave the way they do in dating. I did light kino whenever I could, touching her arms and shoulders. After we hopped 3 bars, she had to leave and asked me how long I'd be in town for after my friend left. She said that we should meet up after she flies back to Austin next week from a trip and before I leave town. She asked if I had her number, but my phone's dead. I said I'd just facebook chat her and she turned to Josh and told him to give her number to me.
Days later, I met with Adriana on a Sunday. I texted her at 3:30 pm and continued on exploring the city. She texted back at 6:30 saying she was gonna grab dinner and if I'd like to join in 15 min, otherwise we can meet Monday. I said I'd meet her at this restaurant I wanted to try at 7. She got there first and texted saying she really was craving tacos and would drive us to a taco truck once I got to the restaurant. I laughed and said that was fine. I saw her at the front of the restaurant, gave her a hug, and we got in her car.
The taco truck had benches so I sat right next to her alongside other people. We were asking each other about ourselves and conversation was going really well. At one point, I turned to face her and I looked into her eyes as I was talking. I saw her eyes flicker to my left & right eyes then slightly down to my lips. My gut told me I gave her some brief sexual tension. After eating, she drives us to a dive bar.
She got this round of drinks and we head to the dive bar's patio. She already sat herself at the opposite side of the bench in front of me and I wasn't sure if I should sit right next to her. I decided to sit in front of her. I learned more about her family life and how she was avoiding her ex while she was away from Austin during the weekend. After we're done with our drinks, we drive to the last bar.
The last bar has a classy atmosphere with live music. I get this round and while I'm waiting for our drinks, I put my arm around her shoulder and chat with her about the live band. We head to the patio area and sit at a round table. She sits on a chair to my left and faces me. I pull my chair a bit closer and and as I do, I lean towards her and she pulls back quickly. To me, that was a bad sign. I almost face her and as we talk, I touch and rub her legs to emphasize my points. She doesn't react when I do this and we keep talking. More time passes by and eventually she needs to go home to wake up early for work. She says she'll probably be at the office past 7 all this week. She offers to drive me back to the hotel and before I jump out of the car, we give each other a hug and say the typical nice seeing you remarks. As I pull away, I was going to kiss her on the cheek, but miss and got her left ear instead. I went into the hotel and that was the night.
What I could've done better:
- F*ck! As I replay this 2nd hangout in my head, I'm thinking maybe I should've been aggressive and put the sexual tension in her face. This hangout was a little weird to me because it's in-between old friends catching up and a real date. If she rejected my advance, then it'd be a weird moment we'd both remember as friends.
- At the taco trunk, I briefly thought about kissing her when her eyes flickered, but didn't want to risk bombing hard in front of other people if I read her wrong.
- At the 1st dive bar, I could've just sat next to her at the bench and that would've been instant tension.
- At the last bar, I could've tried grabbing her hips instead of shoulder and try to go for a kiss while waiting for our drinks to come out. And at the patio, maybe sit next to her and play with her hair or something? I have no clue.
- Okay so either (1) she wasn't as interested as I thought OR (2) she was purposely not reacting to my touches to see if I'd make a bold move anyway. If you think it's the 2nd scenario, then THIS IS THE SAME ISSUE I'm running into during dates.
- If you were in my shoes, how would you have escalated and played this?
- If it's the 2nd scenario, why the hell are girls testing me if I'd make a move on dates instead of at least giving me some sign of interest? Is it because I seem like a "good guy" and they want to see how much of a man I am? Is it because I'm too energetic or tell too many jokes? Compared to other dates I've had, I kept a relaxed and deliberate frame and talked slower with intent.
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