mega whiteknight problem - need advices from the juans

[unsatisfied]

ive made a concious effort to build a small circle of plutonic female friends to use as wing-girls when i go clubbing. I've got three atm they are ok quality but not the supersonic girls i really want.

anyway i've been purposely going overboard whiteknighting one in particular just for something to do, expressly NOT to get in her pants. spending lots of money on her, opening doors usual cringeworthy stuff. empathizing with her about how she is getting used for sex by her outlaw/badboy/criminal bf... basically every chump thing listed not to do i have been doing with her.

so she tells me yesterday that she has never been treated this well by anyone and she is developing feelings for me. nevermind two days ago she was talking about how she was getting railed three ways by her badboy.

I can see this coming a mile away that she wants a cuddle ***** and will always go back to her badboy. I just want her as a wing-girl option to tag along at clubs.

how do i play this? do i tell her look, im only interested as a friend specifically tellling her because she is already involved sexually with this guy that there is zero chance of sex with me.

or do i just smash her while i can for a small window of opportunity, knowing she will probably be simulatenously be getting raw dogged by her badboy?

 

[grayclif]

In essence you are paying her for social proof. I question the logic. Has having her around helped you at all?

From the sound of your post I think you know what you are doing is wrong. Personally I would stop spending money on her and ramp up the Alpha if you want to further your relationship with her.

Something else to think about, You may be able to "smash it" but your feelings for her may deepen and then you may really be in trouble. Especially so if she's being sufficiently serviced by her current badboy boyfriend - she won't leave him... and if you do "smash it" don't hold back, just flippin kill it cause you may never have another go.

 

[Strelok]

Curiosity,how old are the people involved? (not sarcastic)

 

[unsatisfied]

I'm 32, she's 19 her badboy is 26.

her age and attitude was useful for the club scene, hense the massive age gap.

my ideal girl I'm aiming for at the clubs is early 20s corporate job, party girl weekend kind of thing

 

[unsatisfied]

I guess the question is, if she wants sex what is the best way to string her along without actually having sex with her.

like for example if I said "I find you attractive but I don't feel that way about you cause you are already sexually involved and I want a girl to be exclusive"

is that a good or bad way to handle it?

 

[Zunder]

Speaking from doing a fair bit of 'Whie Knighting" myself ........ girls do not respect it nor respect you. They may say they do, but as someone has said in other similar threads...you are her big cuddly toy to be used and then put back in the cupboard once she requires being serviced rawdog from behind from her 'bad-boy'.

Don't put yourself through it .... if you develop feelings for her it will end up a fvcking nightmare for you. Did for me.

 

[Zarky]

If you want to use women as pivots you don't need to be super beta with them. Just treat them like friends, be "real" with them, tell them what you want from them and they'll do their best to get you laid. If you become their cuddle buddy they won't want to lose you to another chick so they'll do their best to prevent you from meeting other broads.

I can't imagine a situation EVER where it's good to be super duper nice to any woman for any reason, except maybe if she's 90 years old and rich and you want to get her to marry you so you can steal her fortune or something. When women see a guy who is really really nice they feel about as horrified as when we see a woman who looks like this:

http://healthhabits.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/iriskyle.jpg

 

[Pair A Dice]

Like an earlier poster said, just keep it real with her. Let her know you probably won't be fvcking her, but hanging out with her is cool. At 19, she probably has a lot of sh!t going on in her mind. Don't compound it.

 

[jophil28]

...plutonic female friends...

My inner pedant can be restrained no longer.
Perhaps you meant to type "platonic", unless you were referring to your preference for women who are made of rock...

 

[unsatisfied]

see I always thought plutonic as in nothing going on dormant like a rock. nevermind you get the just of it

 

[unsatisfied]

Like an earlier poster said, just keep it real with her. Let her know you probably won't be fvcking her, but hanging out with her is cool. At 19, she probably has a lot of sh!t going on in her mind. Don't compound it.

I'll try this approach. worst case scenario she feels humiliated and doesn't speak
to me again. better than than catch something off her

 

[Jeffst1980]

I'm with Zarky on this.

If you want to use a girl as a pivot, she has to KNOW it. Otherwise, she will c0ckblock you.

In general, I've never had great luck with pivots. I think you'd actually be better off approaching tons of sets solo and "working the room," so to speak. It's too tempting to just hang out with your pivot the whole time, and she won't be much help unless she's really competent socially. At 19, she probably isn't.

Also, I question your intentions here--I think you want to bang her. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[unsatisfied]

yes she is bangable, and is attractive but I want a higher quality girl in this instance rather than tread water with her knowing she has the other guy still on her

in essence she is ok to settle for, but I'm ambitious for a girl in the stratosphere

 

[unsatisfied]

you guys speak the truth. she was on the phone to me today pining about how much she misses her bf who isn't returning her calls ATM (probably cause he's an alpha out screwing other plates)

 

[dj_china]

don't have sex with her. as long as you withhold it she will always want it, so you will have her wrapped around your finger.
just keep her as a wing, and make it clear to her that you aren't interested in her so that she doesn't cb you

 

[f283000]

you guys speak the truth. she was on the phone to me today pining about how much she misses her bf who isn't returning her calls ATM (probably cause he's an alpha out screwing other plates)

rofl! Instead of wasting your money and time on this sloot you should get in touch with her bf and pay him for lessons.

 

[unsatisfied]

lol yeah, he sounds like a guy I gotta align myself with

she's talking about how she's worried about pregnancy now cause she's been telling me she's rawdogging him without the pill. I just loled and said call me in 12 weeks

she did update her profile on a dating site with a slutty picture I took of her which she begged me to send her

 

[Let's Get Real]

Don't tell her that you won't have sex with her because she's having sex with her bf. You should prob make fun of the fact that she likes you. something like, "you're silly...you know we're just friends " She's 19...wants what she can't have...kinda like her bf. She just wants to use you to feel desired. But once you have sex with her then she "got" you and won't even want to go out with you anymore cuz women HATE guys like that. She's prob more likely to cb you after you cave in and have sex with her because she won't respect you. You should make her boyfriend seem like a nice guy, get her wrapped around your finger, and then tell her to go sit over there while you go approach this set.

 

[Let's Get Real]

Boyfriend destroyers for a badboy: he's only acting like that because it probably scares him how much he likes you. Everytime he's distant it really means he's afraid of getting hurt by you so he has to pull away. Everytime he's mean to you it's only because he loves sooo much that he doesn't know how to control himself. He sounds like a scared child putting up a front because he's been hurt in the past.

These are dangerous because if she tells him then he might kick your @ss. Be very subtle about them...

 

[unsatisfied]

lolcats. she txts me to take her out clubbing last nite. I say sure since I was going anyway. she says she has no money to get in, so I pay for her. I start dancing and macking on other girls. suddenly she wants to go see her outlaw bf and wants me to drive her 35 clicks across town to him. I bertstare her and say sorry babe if he wants you he can come get you. she goes fkn ballistic and starts calling me f this and f that. she tells me to go fk myself she's catching a cab cause her time is too valuable to waste with me. oh look suddenly she has 100 bucks on her for a cab


all i can do is lol. it was never about getting into her pants, I was just after a wing girl. savagely nexted!!

realworld experience women don't respect the whiteknights and have a super sense of entitlement.