the_capn
New Member
Hi fellas!
I am posting here from Toronto, Canada...and I have quite a lengthy story for you.
I just graduated from college 2 days ago. I should be excited but I feel empty and quite full of regret and sorrow. I don't know what is coming over me.
The story starts with September of 2010. I enrolled in a computer science program, and in my class met a girl who completely had me made. I was practically in love with her, and she rejected me. This is the story of how it all happened, and being that I can't forget it, no matter how hard I try, and I still like her, I just have to get this out of my system. Maybe writing about it will finally allow me to let it go!
As I already mentioned, the story begins with the start of my post-secondary education. The first day of class, I walked into the room, and quickly scanned the surroundings. I spotted this cute girl, HB8 sitting in the back of the class. I sat at the table close to her, and checked her out, but did not talk with her on that first day. The next day, I decided to befriend one of the guys in her group, and was successful at it. We quickly exchanged emails, and started chatting almost right away. I was asking her to come with me for a coffee almost every other day, and she always accepted graciously, and with a smile. We talked about everything and anything, and I was really getting to know this girl, but at the same time, I was beginning to fall for her. This, for me, was the beginning of the end! My friend (the one whom I've used to gain entrance into her social circle) suggests to me that Caitlin likes me. He gives me all the classic signs that he has noticed her displaying: she was laughing at all my jokes, even the lamest ones. She would initiate touching just to get me to talk with her, etc...so I decided to ask her out.
Little did I know, just how tied my balls were in this situation! The next week, we had our first midterm, and I told her not to leave after class because I want to talk with her about something. The class ends, and we meet outside, and just as I am about to ask her out, this big, fat loser ******* shows up behinds us, interjects into the conversation and completely takes over. He knew what I was about to do, and purposely c0ckblocked me!
I was pissed off at this point, and went to the gym where I met with my friend. He asked me if I did it, and I told him how the big guy c0ckblocked me, and at that point, I was so full of rage, I made a massive dent in one of the locker doors by punching it. My had became swollen, but I didn't give a sh!t and still worked out.
The next day, I ask her to come for a coffee with me, and she accepts. I asked her out on the way to the coffee shop, and she said "Maybe. I have to check my schedule." RED FLAG right there, and I didn't see it then. I tell her I will give her a few days to think it over, and that I will call her that weekend to confirm.
I call on Sunday afternoon, but get no answer, instead just voicemail. I didn't bother with leaving a message and I decided I would ignore her cause she didn't deserve my attention. At this point in time, I only wish I would hav followed through with it!
I told my friend that I started seeing someone else. At this point, I am no longer sitting close to Caitlin, nor am I attempting to talk with her at all. I am basically ignoring her, until my friend tells me that she's confused, and that she still wants to go out with me. The next day, we start talking again after class, and she tells me I shouldn't have gotten mad after she didn't answer my call, that she was busy...to which I asked her "Is it really THAT hard to return a fvcking call Caitlin? Give me a break!" At this point she tells me how that same fatass who c0ckblocked me week prior, had asked her to come see a movie with him. She BEGS of me to come with them, but I refuse, telling her I have a date with someone who is actually into me, and not trying to use me for her own gain.
At this point, she looks at me and say, that she's sorry she didn't return my call, and to make that up to me, she will go out with me to movies and a dinner on Tuesday, a day of my choice (it is Thursday at this point, so 4 days). Tuesday comes around, and we hung out after class for lunch. She had to go to work (temporary 1 weeks placement...elections) until 15:00, but she gave me directions on how to find the place. We said our goodbyes for now, and I went to the gym to work out. After my 1-hour workout was done, and I got changed, I notice I have 8 new text messages on my phone. They are ALL from her! In the first one she tells me she has to cancel because she got a job interview for a sales position at 17:00 that day, and that we wouldn't have enough time for movie or dinner...second through eights messages BEGGED me not to get mad at her. That she didn't mean this, and that she will make it up to me.
I didn't respond. I called her at 15:30, cause I knew she was done work, but she didn't pick up. At this point, I text her, and tell her to stop wasting my time, and she tells me that we "can't let emotions get in the way", or some bull**** like that. I maintained my position, and didn't budge. I set her aside, and told her that if she was interested in me, she wouldn't string me along like that. She just stood there silent as I walked away again.
The school dance is coming up, so my friend buys me 2 tickets for the event...one for me, and the other one for Caitlin. He does the work for me, and invites her to be there, but his fiancee also came with us. This whole situation made it all extremely awkward, to say the least! Here I was, on a double date, with a couple about to get married, and a girl I am trying to get to know...too much pressure on me, and I cracked. It showed in my behavior all night too...my confidence had just somehow evaporated!
Two weeks pass, and we have our first exam. She comes to class (at this point, sh!t is back to normal, we are talking, but I don't mention anything at all about my asking her out. She tells me how she had a bad time this weekend because she's been having severe migraines, and has been fainting for the past few days. That same day, she ended up in a hospital. She texts me at midnight, to deliver the news. At this point, I am sitting in my bed at home, just about ready to tear my hair out. This was the exact moment when EVERYTHING fell apart for me in one fell swoop! I sat there for what seemed like hours, finally standing up, picking up my car keys and going out for a long drive at 4:00 in the morning! I just couldn't sleep. She was on my mind, and I was worried sick about her. The next day I text her, telling he I will come to see her later that day. I went there and met her whole family, everyone was extremely nice to me, and she was even smiling, and told me how happy she was to see me there.
She gets out of the hospital 2 weeks later, and things start to change. She becomes cold to me, almost distant, and is responding to everything I say in one sentence or less. I sensed something was wrong, but didn't do anything about it at that point thinking it would just pass. I couldn't have been more wrong, it would only get worse from this point on.
At this point we are on our mid-semester break for one week. I broke down again last night, after a long night of drinking with my buddies at a local pub, and wrote her a gushing email message confessing my undying love for her...big fvcking mistake!. I waited for a reply for 10 days, no more, no less! When she finally responded, she said that she could only see the two of us as friends, and that she was also seeing someone else, an old friend of hers, at the moment.
I decide to call her bluff, and respond with how I feel she stringed me along for the last 4 months, and how she only wasted my time. Another gushing part followed, with me writing about how I can't be without her, and how I was dating someone else up until a few days ago, but all I could think about was her, so I broke it off with the poor girl.
Then she responded with how she "never implied anything, she spoke to me as she would speak to any of her other friends, so as for stringing me along, she definitely didn't...she doesn't really know where I was getting that from."
I called her bluff again, basically saying she was bull****ting me! After this, she replies with: "Originally I did still want to be friends, but as time went on I realized it wouldn't work out and I think it's best that you and I go our separate ways. I don't feel like we can be friends after all this. All I want to do is finish this course, graduate, and move on. I'm not looking to make new friends or boyfriends . I'm in this program to get an education not to cater to other peoples feelings."
Notice the bold part in the previous paragraph...well she pretty much confirmed she's been stringing me a long not after that, through her actions. We enrolled in the second semester, and there was a new guy in one of our classes. I could see right away she was attracted to him, and not long after that, they started dating. At this point, I sent her another email, in which I said one thing only: "Thank you for lying to me and wasting my fvcking time. I hope you burn in hell for this.", and with that I deleted her off my FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, MSN, and YAHOO! messenger. I also got rid of her number as well. I thought I was ready to move on, but I was wrong.
I am posting here from Toronto, Canada...and I have quite a lengthy story for you.
I just graduated from college 2 days ago. I should be excited but I feel empty and quite full of regret and sorrow. I don't know what is coming over me.
The story starts with September of 2010. I enrolled in a computer science program, and in my class met a girl who completely had me made. I was practically in love with her, and she rejected me. This is the story of how it all happened, and being that I can't forget it, no matter how hard I try, and I still like her, I just have to get this out of my system. Maybe writing about it will finally allow me to let it go!
As I already mentioned, the story begins with the start of my post-secondary education. The first day of class, I walked into the room, and quickly scanned the surroundings. I spotted this cute girl, HB8 sitting in the back of the class. I sat at the table close to her, and checked her out, but did not talk with her on that first day. The next day, I decided to befriend one of the guys in her group, and was successful at it. We quickly exchanged emails, and started chatting almost right away. I was asking her to come with me for a coffee almost every other day, and she always accepted graciously, and with a smile. We talked about everything and anything, and I was really getting to know this girl, but at the same time, I was beginning to fall for her. This, for me, was the beginning of the end! My friend (the one whom I've used to gain entrance into her social circle) suggests to me that Caitlin likes me. He gives me all the classic signs that he has noticed her displaying: she was laughing at all my jokes, even the lamest ones. She would initiate touching just to get me to talk with her, etc...so I decided to ask her out.
Little did I know, just how tied my balls were in this situation! The next week, we had our first midterm, and I told her not to leave after class because I want to talk with her about something. The class ends, and we meet outside, and just as I am about to ask her out, this big, fat loser ******* shows up behinds us, interjects into the conversation and completely takes over. He knew what I was about to do, and purposely c0ckblocked me!
I was pissed off at this point, and went to the gym where I met with my friend. He asked me if I did it, and I told him how the big guy c0ckblocked me, and at that point, I was so full of rage, I made a massive dent in one of the locker doors by punching it. My had became swollen, but I didn't give a sh!t and still worked out.
The next day, I ask her to come for a coffee with me, and she accepts. I asked her out on the way to the coffee shop, and she said "Maybe. I have to check my schedule." RED FLAG right there, and I didn't see it then. I tell her I will give her a few days to think it over, and that I will call her that weekend to confirm.
I call on Sunday afternoon, but get no answer, instead just voicemail. I didn't bother with leaving a message and I decided I would ignore her cause she didn't deserve my attention. At this point in time, I only wish I would hav followed through with it!
I told my friend that I started seeing someone else. At this point, I am no longer sitting close to Caitlin, nor am I attempting to talk with her at all. I am basically ignoring her, until my friend tells me that she's confused, and that she still wants to go out with me. The next day, we start talking again after class, and she tells me I shouldn't have gotten mad after she didn't answer my call, that she was busy...to which I asked her "Is it really THAT hard to return a fvcking call Caitlin? Give me a break!" At this point she tells me how that same fatass who c0ckblocked me week prior, had asked her to come see a movie with him. She BEGS of me to come with them, but I refuse, telling her I have a date with someone who is actually into me, and not trying to use me for her own gain.
At this point, she looks at me and say, that she's sorry she didn't return my call, and to make that up to me, she will go out with me to movies and a dinner on Tuesday, a day of my choice (it is Thursday at this point, so 4 days). Tuesday comes around, and we hung out after class for lunch. She had to go to work (temporary 1 weeks placement...elections) until 15:00, but she gave me directions on how to find the place. We said our goodbyes for now, and I went to the gym to work out. After my 1-hour workout was done, and I got changed, I notice I have 8 new text messages on my phone. They are ALL from her! In the first one she tells me she has to cancel because she got a job interview for a sales position at 17:00 that day, and that we wouldn't have enough time for movie or dinner...second through eights messages BEGGED me not to get mad at her. That she didn't mean this, and that she will make it up to me.
I didn't respond. I called her at 15:30, cause I knew she was done work, but she didn't pick up. At this point, I text her, and tell her to stop wasting my time, and she tells me that we "can't let emotions get in the way", or some bull**** like that. I maintained my position, and didn't budge. I set her aside, and told her that if she was interested in me, she wouldn't string me along like that. She just stood there silent as I walked away again.
The school dance is coming up, so my friend buys me 2 tickets for the event...one for me, and the other one for Caitlin. He does the work for me, and invites her to be there, but his fiancee also came with us. This whole situation made it all extremely awkward, to say the least! Here I was, on a double date, with a couple about to get married, and a girl I am trying to get to know...too much pressure on me, and I cracked. It showed in my behavior all night too...my confidence had just somehow evaporated!
Two weeks pass, and we have our first exam. She comes to class (at this point, sh!t is back to normal, we are talking, but I don't mention anything at all about my asking her out. She tells me how she had a bad time this weekend because she's been having severe migraines, and has been fainting for the past few days. That same day, she ended up in a hospital. She texts me at midnight, to deliver the news. At this point, I am sitting in my bed at home, just about ready to tear my hair out. This was the exact moment when EVERYTHING fell apart for me in one fell swoop! I sat there for what seemed like hours, finally standing up, picking up my car keys and going out for a long drive at 4:00 in the morning! I just couldn't sleep. She was on my mind, and I was worried sick about her. The next day I text her, telling he I will come to see her later that day. I went there and met her whole family, everyone was extremely nice to me, and she was even smiling, and told me how happy she was to see me there.
She gets out of the hospital 2 weeks later, and things start to change. She becomes cold to me, almost distant, and is responding to everything I say in one sentence or less. I sensed something was wrong, but didn't do anything about it at that point thinking it would just pass. I couldn't have been more wrong, it would only get worse from this point on.
At this point we are on our mid-semester break for one week. I broke down again last night, after a long night of drinking with my buddies at a local pub, and wrote her a gushing email message confessing my undying love for her...big fvcking mistake!. I waited for a reply for 10 days, no more, no less! When she finally responded, she said that she could only see the two of us as friends, and that she was also seeing someone else, an old friend of hers, at the moment.
I decide to call her bluff, and respond with how I feel she stringed me along for the last 4 months, and how she only wasted my time. Another gushing part followed, with me writing about how I can't be without her, and how I was dating someone else up until a few days ago, but all I could think about was her, so I broke it off with the poor girl.
Then she responded with how she "never implied anything, she spoke to me as she would speak to any of her other friends, so as for stringing me along, she definitely didn't...she doesn't really know where I was getting that from."
I called her bluff again, basically saying she was bull****ting me! After this, she replies with: "Originally I did still want to be friends, but as time went on I realized it wouldn't work out and I think it's best that you and I go our separate ways. I don't feel like we can be friends after all this. All I want to do is finish this course, graduate, and move on. I'm not looking to make new friends or boyfriends . I'm in this program to get an education not to cater to other peoples feelings."
Notice the bold part in the previous paragraph...well she pretty much confirmed she's been stringing me a long not after that, through her actions. We enrolled in the second semester, and there was a new guy in one of our classes. I could see right away she was attracted to him, and not long after that, they started dating. At this point, I sent her another email, in which I said one thing only: "Thank you for lying to me and wasting my fvcking time. I hope you burn in hell for this.", and with that I deleted her off my FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, MSN, and YAHOO! messenger. I also got rid of her number as well. I thought I was ready to move on, but I was wrong.
The OP is pretty much in the same ****ing boat as me!