Meeting women (Bar scene)

[Dictatorsaurus]

I concluded a long time ago that bars are not the best places to meet women. Tonight I went out hoping my theory was wrong and ended up regretting spending all the money at the bars and went back to my previous conclusion.

For me it’s very frustrating. I thought it would be easy to meet women in a small Canadian College town, but its not. The mentality is extremely shallow and anyone who has the ability to have an intellectual conversation is looked down upon. I guess wearing baggy cloths an acting "hip" is what makes you look cool in front of women. Personally, I resent that image and am a firm believer in individuality and originality.

I feel as though I have developed a cynical attitude towards most women. I consider myself a good looking intelligent young man. You would think thats what most women look for but from my experience, I haven't had any luck in years!!

I honestly have no attitude or confidence problems. I approach women all the time and am friendly and down to earth. Maybe I'm missing something here???

 

[Red_Tiger]

I know how you feel, I am 35 and can't think of last time I met a classy sexy intelligent women.

Don't come to England mate, the bar scene here is pretty bad.
Alot of the bars have 95% men and they are all after after the same girls.

What annoys me is that women seem to go for the loud show off types,, and as Delta mentioned in some other posts its all a "front" to be the wacky, hard man. How tiring!

 

[Miliaris]

Hey man, it is frustrating if you try to change the game and play it on your own terms.

Read this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=67183

 

[AverageFC]

I am 35 and can't think of last time I met a classy sexy intelligent women.

I'm 20 and don't tihnk I have, haha. I think that's an oxymoron

 

[Omega]

No, your right.

Quit with the clubs/bars. They're full of egotistical AFC's and girls on an ego trip.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Why dont you people loosen up when you go out instead of thinking you are some kind of super intelligent god or something...Newsflash, girls want to have fun, and if you arnt fun in a bar/club, you arnt gonna get anything...You all are probably boring, thats why you get the results that you get...

 

[Not Quite There]

Originally posted by TheInfamousCBear
Why dont you people loosen up when you go out instead of thinking you are some kind of super intelligent god or something...Newsflash, girls want to have fun, and if you arnt fun in a bar/club, you arnt gonna get anything...You all are probably boring, thats why you get the results that you get...

very true


however, I'm quite a deep thinker, and this is almost a burden, i couldn't have a girlfriend with no brain, its funny though, I think people are quite surprised when they see my deeper side, because most of the time i act and come across as a joker. Last night a mates friend from morocco said himself he didnt realsie i was so deep before i told him my views on the british empire (haha, weird subject for a drum and abss night!)

I am well aware that acting or dressing in certain ways would get me more attention from girls, but i'm a proud individual, i don't follow stupid trends and I do my own thing, which some girls appreciate, but a lot of girls are to shallow or dumb to realise this.

 

[Red_Tiger]

I know girls want fun, but I'm not going act the twit to get them into bed. Thats the problem, a lot of young men here in the Uk feel they have to be loud, aggressive and act like idiots to get the women, just to pander to their shallow minds. How many times do year hear girls say I'm bored if they are not getting enough attention.

 

[car501]

The common denominator is 'bars'. If your looking for a different type of women where you can still use you 'DJ' skills try a coffee shop, bookstore (i.e. Barnes & Noble or Borders) and such. I find going to places that play Jazz or Blues is a good place to meet women like you might like to meet.Good luck.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

People just dont get it...You can be the loud party guy and get women...You can the the intellectual and get women...You can get women as long as you have the skills and you know who your target is...This imaginary Don Juan sh1t has people all bugged out...

Thats the problem with this website...If people see other dudes getting girls in a way that they wouldnt do or that they think is stupid, they talk down on it when its just that they are jelous (sp) that it isnt them thats getting the girl...Theres more than one way to skin a cat...Noone told you that you can only go to bars to get women, hit up the library or a bookstore to get at the women you want...No need to hate someone else's hustle, cause if someone saw you getting play at a bookstore and they hated on you, you would get upset too...

 

[Dictatorsaurus]

Being considered boring is a relative opinion. What you might find boring might be exciting for others.

Men are not servants for women where we should provide them with entertainment and luxury. Both men and women have to work together to be together.

I think women that go to bars are looking for an escape from reality so they reach the epitome of phoniness. Anything remotely intelligent is considered "boring". I fail to understand what’s so much more entertaining in talking about stupid things like how many drinks you have in you or how many times a week you visit the bar. That seems like flapping your gums just for the sake of basic interaction.

 

[englishcrap]

In the UK especially bars in London. Generally speaking there is a clear cut line between AFC's and DJ. You gotta be ****y and funny as hell..or extremely handsome looking to get attention from women (or have lots of money). It does help however if you have a wing man, since many girls go out in pairs or groups and it can be difficult to approach and tackle several women at once.

There again its not impossible

There are a few Jazz clubs up in Soho which I heard are good pulling places for birds. Let me find out and will let you know.

 

[PRMoon]

Christ there shold be no way you should have any trouble hooking up at bars, especially Canadian bars where the beer is much stronger then it is here state side. I mean girls go out to meet guys and drink, and obviously its the same for guys. How you can't win big off that bet, I'll never know. My only assumtion is that it must be you, trying too hard or something.

Hell I was sick the last time I went to a bar I only had two drinks (Influenza medicine doesn't mix so well with alcohol, can cause some serious stomach bleeding) but while i was there I got some looks and nods, nothing I followed up on but I could have. Still I directed traffic for some of my boys who were out for the night and they didn't do anything special. We look like average guys and that's how we think of ourselves, no worse and no better than anybody else. We just know that opportunity knocks and more importantly we know how to spot those opportunitites and how to capitolize. All of that equals confidence which you my friend seem to lack. Confidence about what you're doing is more then 70 percent of the work for the evening. And if you go in with a defeatist attitude then of course you're not going to have much sucess as the other guys there who probably do.

 

[Colossus]

In my experience I have never, EVER met a classy gal in a bar. When I say "classy" I mean a girl you can respect and who can carrry herself like a lady ALL THE TIME. Shallow cookie-cutter b*tches who like to drink are a dime a dozen, even good-looking ones. Not to say you'll NEVER see one in a bar, but you have to think about what you want and where your "market share" is.

If you just want pick up a ho or score a lackluster one nighter, of course this can be done. Even if your game sucks sooner or later you'll find one willing.

I agree w/ CBear; a loudmouth male bimbo can get women, a sharp-as-a-tack math major can get women, even the quiet guys can pull. Dont try to apply something you dont have. If your'e not naturally "C+F" or whatever the f*ck, then dont try to use that sh*t with women. It'll never work. It's been said a million times, but if you are totally confident w/ you natural self, then thats all you need. Forget this Don Juan tactical crap. There is definetely some sound advice on this website, but dont take it all to heart.

 

[englishcrap]

I take it your in London right ?

Try the Salsa bars around Tottenham Court Road, these places are more relaxed on thurs/fri nights and they populated with foreign girls who are more likely to give you the time of day to chat to and get to know you.

Originally posted by Red_Tiger
I know how you feel, I am 35 and can't think of last time I met a classy sexy intelligent women.

Don't come to England mate, the bar scene here is pretty bad.
Alot of the bars have 95% men and they are all after after the same girls.

What annoys me is that women seem to go for the loud show off types,, and as Delta mentioned in some other posts its all a "front" to be the wacky, hard man. How tiring!

 

[jean laurent]

Originally posted by Dictatorsaurus
The mentality is extremely shallow and anyone who has the ability to have an intellectual conversation is looked down upon.

Generally, girls don't go to bars looking for "intellectual conversation". And, if you are being "looked down upon", I assume that you are trying to have "intellectual conversations" in bars. That you are being shot down (what I gathered from your post) is thus no surprise at all.

From my experience, the "intellectual conversation"-types are usually cynical S.O.B's, who think their "profound" views make them better than everyone else. (IMO, their views are usually complete BS -- easily rationally overturnable, but who can be bothered?) Nevertheless, "intellectual conversations" can be fun, but there is a time and a place for them. 1:00AM, Saturday night, at the bar is not such a place.

I guess wearing baggy cloths an acting "hip" is what makes you look cool in front of women. Personally, I resent that image and am a firm believer in individuality and originality.

I'm sure you resent Paris Hilton's popularity, too. Unfortunately for you, the world probably isn't terribly concerned about what you resent. The world has voted: Paris Hilton, baggy clothes, acting "hip" -- IN; boring girls to tears with "intellectual conversations" on Saturday nights -- OUT.

Jokes aside, if you expect the world to change in order to conform to what you would prefer it to be, you're in for a tough time.

 

[manicmaximum]

do you expect people to have debates in a bar or something? people go out to escape reality, which in many students' cases, is having to think and learn. i know after a rough week of midterms and readings i love kicking back a few and striking up random convos with people.

btw baggy clothes are not THE cool thing bro. it all depends on that person's attitude...in my experience -most- of the dudes in baggy clothes are trashy fools who don't know what theyre doing.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by manicmaximum

btw baggy clothes are not THE cool thing bro. it all depends on that person's attitude...in my experience -most- of the dudes in baggy clothes are trashy fools who don't know what theyre doing.

People like this guy are funny....You must not get out much if you think the only way to get girls is to wear fitted or tight a$$ clothing...

 

[Snatchmaster]

What a boring thread. You intellectuals know how to make a bore out of everything.

 

[manicmaximum]

Originally posted by TheInfamousCBear
People like this guy are funny....You must not get out much if you think the only way to get girls is to wear fitted or tight a$$ clothing...

i was pointing out the fact that the thread poster implied that people who wear baggy clothes makes you look "cool".

and what i was saying was that in my experience, the amount of people who wear baggy clothes that have tight game doesn't amount to a lot of people. therefore, just because you are wearing baggy clothes, does not make you "cool and hip".