Meeting girl from Tinder - tips?

fri2oct15

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Meeting a girl from tinder tomorrow night, she's 19, and sounds a little on the shy side.

Interaction went like this -
Bit of conversation - she seems receptive
Ask her to meet up - she says OK but in a "yeah fine ok" sort of way, colder.

Gut feeling says she won't flake, and is either just shy or doesn't want to seem too interested/"lead me on"

Any tips for meeting someone you've never met before - I've only ever been on day2/3/4's etc, as far as dates are concerned, so feel a bit awkward!
 

RangerMIke

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If you don't know her then don't spend too much money. It would have been better if when you said you wanted to meet you already told her the what/when of your date. Whatever you decide to do YOU need to decide... don't ask her what she wants to do. You decide and she comes along. Make sure it is something YOU want to do.

I don't do blind dates.... or online dates so I don't know what makes sence in situations like that. BUT if I'm going out with someone Im really not sure about its usually just a coffee date or happy hour drinks... then if things go well I always have dinner, or some evening activity that I can invite her to. She's 19 so coffee if you're in the US. Maybe others have a better suggestion. What ever it is make sure it's a place where you can ask her questions and get to know her.
 

fri2oct15

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If you don't know her then don't spend too much money. It would have been better if when you said you wanted to meet you already told her the what/when of your date. Whatever you decide to do YOU need to decide... don't ask her what she wants to do. You decide and she comes along. Make sure it is something YOU want to do.
Got this part nailed - told her the day/time/location/activity. Drinks/shoot some pool


What ever it is make sure it's a place where you can ask her questions and get to know her.
Sounds good.

Only problem is we're meeting driving distance from either of our homes, so need to get her wanting a day 2 to close properly.
 

parkthebus

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Try to make jokes to begin with and turn up with lots of energy. Appear comfortable
 

donttrustme

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For me it always worked best when comfortably sitting next to each other so you can do alot of kino. basically a lounge café or a bar.
 

fri2oct15

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Got it, will work in sitting down for a drink next to each other + a walk
 

RangerMIke

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20-25 miles
That's fine. Worst case that's an hour away, no problem. All the advice you are getting above is fine.. I would do all those things, HOWEVER, since you really do not know her and have never met you need to keep your eyes open for signs of interest. All dates I go on I already know there is some level of physical attraction, so causal touching would be okay. I wouldn't do that until you know she finds you attractive, otherwise it will not go well for you. DO not start off touching her... in fact I wouldn't do it unless she touched me first. Keep her talking, you shouldn't be saying anything unless it's stuff to make her laugh. The best way to have a first date is to go in with the belief that you are a fun awesome guy, and you are interviewing her for the job of sex kitten. The problem with too many men is that they try too hard to impress women... it comes off as needy and supplicative... which is not manly.

At the end of the date only try and kiss her if you are not sure she is really interested in you. You are doing this to test her interest. If she kisses you back, then you know she likes you. DO NOT try and make any plans to see each other again there on the spot, wait a few days and call her to make another date.... this time try to get her to meet you half-way. Again, you have to get her to the point where she is putting some effort into you. If she thinks you might have other options, and she likes you, she'll put in efforts to be with you... If not, well really... why would anyone want to waste their time going after women who are structured game players.

In all fairness I have to say that I personally would NEVER do what I just recommended to you on a date. The reason is that I DO NOT WANT a relationship. I date women to have sex and have fun... I am not interested in any long term commitment to exclusivity. I go into dating KNOWING that as soon as the girl finds someone that she is attracted too who will commit, I'm gone... and you have to be completely okay with this, so much so that you MUST be happy for her. When I go out on dates I make it chrystal clear I'm interested in sex, and if she is not okay with that then I'm not wasting my time with her. Truth is when you act like I do on my 1st dates typically you either end up n bed with them that night, or the next date.... or you don't see them again. And the truth is that if all you want are causal relationships, you really have to have a "I want what I want attitude, or I'm burning this bridge."
 

fri2oct15

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That's fine. Worst case that's an hour away, no problem. All the advice you are getting above is fine.. I would do all those things, HOWEVER, since you really do not know her and have never met you need to keep your eyes open for signs of interest. All dates I go on I already know there is some level of physical attraction, so causal touching would be okay. I wouldn't do that until you know she finds you attractive, otherwise it will not go well for you. DO not start off touching her... in fact I wouldn't do it unless she touched me first. Keep her talking, you shouldn't be saying anything unless it's stuff to make her laugh. The best way to have a first date is to go in with the belief that you are a fun awesome guy, and you are interviewing her for the job of sex kitten. The problem with too many men is that they try too hard to impress women... it comes off as needy and supplicative... which is not manly.

At the end of the date only try and kiss her if you are not sure she is really interested in you. You are doing this to test her interest. If she kisses you back, then you know she likes you. DO NOT try and make any plans to see each other again there on the spot, wait a few days and call her to make another date.... this time try to get her to meet you half-way. Again, you have to get her to the point where she is putting some effort into you. If she thinks you might have other options, and she likes you, she'll put in efforts to be with you... If not, well really... why would anyone want to waste their time going after women who are structured game players.

In all fairness I have to say that I personally would NEVER do what I just recommended to you on a date. The reason is that I DO NOT WANT a relationship. I date women to have sex and have fun... I am not interested in any long term commitment to exclusivity. I go into dating KNOWING that as soon as the girl finds someone that she is attracted too who will commit, I'm gone... and you have to be completely okay with this, so much so that you MUST be happy for her. When I go out on dates I make it chrystal clear I'm interested in sex, and if she is not okay with that then I'm not wasting my time with her. Truth is when you act like I do on my 1st dates typically you either end up n bed with them that night, or the next date.... or you don't see them again. And the truth is that if all you want are causal relationships, you really have to have a "I want what I want attitude, or I'm burning this bridge."
Really appreciate the advice, will start the way you described.

However, I'm not looking for anything in particular, just sex on date 1 or 2...then I'll decide to cut it/fwb/more whatever. So I'll probably try to escalate ASAP once I know there's some interest. Which is what I would imagine you'd do.
 

yoyoing

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Good advice here !
I would also like to add that I usually like to go in places where there is a party/fun vibe and a lot of peoples . I hate sitting on dates in an half empty bar or Cafe feels akward to me...
 

NSX-R

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Is she a part of some special species that you need our help on how to react with her?
It's just another chick. If you have been already to some other dates it should be no different. If not, read the dj bible , there are some good techniques that you could make a good use of.
 

fri2oct15

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Is she a part of some special species that you need our help on how to react with her?
It's just another chick. If you have been already to some other dates it should be no different. If not, read the dj bible , there are some good techniques that you could make a good use of.
Yeah you're right, need to re-read the first 2 sections of the dj bible.

She cancelled a few hour before the date anyway. Onwards and upwards
 
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