Meeting an AFC....Cringe

[logic1]

I cant get this event out of my head. It happened a couple of weeks ago.

My LTR and myself took her friend (Lisa 38, very attractive) out to explore some night life a couple of weekends ago. The plans were to visit clubs, bars, ect on Friday and Saturday nights. A couple of party nights for a change of pace. And a way for Lisa to meet some new people.

The very first place we entered on Friday night was the start of an awful weekend.

No sooner than we grabbed a table we were approached by a guy I met in the past but knew little about him. He (Jake) was 46 and seemed like a decent person. He helped himself to the open chair next to Lisa and asked me to introduce him to her. Looked like things were going good. Dancing, talking, drinking, ect. He bought 2 rounds of drinks. Could not tell him no. Lisa got to blabbering about plans for the rest of the night and Saturday and everything else in her life. Including me and LTR. Big mistake.

Jake followed us to the next place and seemed to have Lisa's interest. By the end of the night things were getting strange. Jake was getting infactuated with this woman. He pulled me off to the side and told me how great he thought she was. Thanked me for introducing her to him. And actually thanked me for bringing her into his life . I started to get creeped out. I pulled him off to the side and told him to calm down and get a grip. I told him not to be so aggressive at the moment. You have only known her for a couple of hours. Be patient or you will scare her off. Of course he did not listen. He was trying to impress her and for some reason I think he had this thought in his head that she was going to geet away.

The end of the evening came and we pryed Jake away from Lisa to take her to her home. Before we arrived at her home Jake already was calling her. He also was calling her by 10:00 am Saturday morning. He was trying to talk her into going out for dinner with him. She declined. My phone rings Saturday afternoon and it is Jake. Wanting to know everything about this woman. Wanting me to set up a date with her for him. I finally convince him to wait a week and call her. Jeezus this is a creep in a costume. I told LTR to tell Lisa to be careful.

Saturday night comes and off we go. Guess who is at the first place we stop...Jake. What an uncomfortable night. Lisa must have told him everything on Friday. Hence how he knew where we would be.

Weekend ended, thankfully. But this guy is still calling me to plan something and sending flowers to Lisa and calling 24/7.

Seeing a desperate man up close is eye opening. Wish I could get him to read this site. But his mind is in the clouds.

I think to my past and hope I was not that bad.

Dont be a Jake..... men.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Don't be a Mike.

 

[DMSR76]

logic,

That's one train wreck of a story. Stephen King couldn't have written better horror. But it's great you shared it.

 

[Powerlifter]

Haven't we all been there maybe not as bad as Mike from Rollo's post but some worst then others?

Instead of making entertainment and fun toward a brother lets share what is the root of AFC behavour so others who might carry this trait see themselves and can get the help they need to be more successful with women.

For isn't that the purpose of this forum or is it only to ridicule or embarrass a brother if one were to come seeking help.

I agreed with what Espi posted and gave reps for his post and agreed the post was well written but it would be better served to educate the deeper issues that make up AFC behavior now that this behavour has been pointed out bullying is never cool never.

Powerlifter

 

[zekko]

Your post is well written...however, and I mean this respectfully: Lisa's 38; she can take care of herself. Why are you making this your concern? Leave them be. Let Jake buy your drinks. I'm sure Lisa and your LTR don't mind.

I was kind of thinking this also. I don't want to rip on the original poster either, but I'm not sure why he got so offended. It's almost like he had a female's reaction to this guy.

 

[logic1]

I was kind of thinking this also. I don't want to rip on the original poster either, but I'm not sure why he got so offended. It's almost like he had a female's reaction to this guy.

Go ahead and rip. Hopefully I will learn something. Actually I didnt do anything. I was along for the ride. It was very interesting. Im reporting. You know like a FR.

My intent was not to degrade the man. I tried to help him. He didn't listen. I just wrote about what happened. It was real life not much I can do to change it.

I dont know how I come across as being offended? Maybe because I was uncomfortable about getting a phone call from a stranger who I did not give my number. :nervous:

We have all been Jake, including me.

My question? Why do you want to rip me for writing this? Maybe its the way it makes you feel? Should I have not reported and maybe wrote about a problem I have?

I think you feel I have a problem? And I might?

 

[zekko]

My intent was not to degrade the man. I tried to help him. He didn't listen.

Yeah, I got that. I was actually wondering why you felt the need to have your LTR warn Lisa to be careful. The guy was AFC, not necessarily dangerous. But then I realized needy guys CAN be dangerous (jealous rages and all) so you probably did the right thing. I guess this is the kind of thing that women have to deal with all the time.

My question? Why do you want to rip me for writing this?

No, I said I DON'T want to rip you.