Me and 7 month LTR are going to colleges 1000 miles away. Should we just break up?

[WanderingMan]

I'll give you advice from a different angle: I knew a lot of girls going into my freshman year who had boyfriends, then broke up with them... fast forward a few years later, and these girls are now on Facebook and married... TO THE BOYFRIEND THEY WERE DATING BEFORE THEY WENT TO COLLEGE.

I say this to say: the main reason people try to hold onto a person when they go to college is because they believe it's the only way they're ever going to end up with that person long-term. But, the reality is you both may need time away from each other to grow into versions of yourselves that would be more suited to handle a long term relationship/marriage situation. You end up learning a lot about yourself (as well as women) during those four years, and those lessons could actually make you a BETTER catch for her later down the line.

You have to let her go. You have to let her be on her own in college, without attachment to you, so she can grow and experience new things without a feeling of guilt. Does this mean you cut off all communication with her? Not at all. But if the communication starts to wane, it simply means you have to understand that may happen as she starts fitting in to her new environment, and that this may not be the time for you and her to be all over each other. If it's meant to be, you'll be able to re-connect with her in 4 years. Or, you'll both find new people to fawn over in college and look back on your time together as a happy moment that was only meant to be for so long.

Great post.


Breaking it off would be the most natural thing to do. If you two try to make it work, she's eventually going to get tempted out where ever she is, and since you're far away, if she miraculously does not cheat, she's going to feel resentment towards you, which would eventually lead to a break up anyway.

To me, it's a lose/lose situation. Break it off now on a good note - before the cheating or resentment happens. Set her(and yourself) free, and let her hold on to the good feelings of you. Everyone knows it's for the better, and, like Harry was saying, it will be appreciated down the line.

 

[Reykhel]

Yes. Face reality. Time to say goodbye...

Nip it in the bud now....it may hurt temporarily...throw yourself into your studies, your activities, the gym, meeting new people, your social life.....be present 100%. This time next year you'll see by the level of your maturity that you made the right decision.

...or alternatively...have a long distance relationship and become "that guy" who has a "girlfriend" on Skype. The illusion of a ldr pulling you away from fully engaging in your real personal and social life. Becoming worried and therefor distracted during lectures etc that she seems I don't know....'distant'...and this time next year...what kind of person WOULD you be...

Know that every 'relationship' ends. Either by rejection or death. This is not negative, it's to set you free. Never cling to what is fleeting and impermanent.