Situation @ UK, not America. 
..
Sorry it's kind of long, but I think I need some opinions. I hope you can be patient enough to read it. If any questions i will respond and am happy to discuss this situation.
Quite normal here and I'm fine as it is myself, but at the moment my mindset is thinking "if I ain't getting a fxxk or something similar at the end of this why bother investing time? I'm busy with work and all my hobbies and got no time to waste". That's the introduction, anyway lets move on.
I'm away from home at work and live in this place where several other people live in too. I'm chinese myself and recently this indian girl (quite nice compared to the usual) who knew me a bit when me and her and a bunch of other people went out to this bar. Anyway she knocked on my window stating that she has to move out and such and I said that I needed to as well as it's becoming rough living here. She wanted to move into a house together with me so I kinda agreed not thinking too much about it.
Fast forward a few days we spent the weekend together and such looking for houses. As friends, you know. Nothing too unusual, but I saw how she was kinda likable. But before I had a chance to act much she said she's seeing someone. Not "permanent" yet but they're seeing how it goes. While we were looking and such she was talking a lot about how people are bad to her and such, or how every (asian) guy likes her and flirts with her. Anyway she denies liking to be "popular" (as i quite directly pointed it out saying that she must enjoy the attention). She wants to move out because the guys living in her flat are freaking her out.
Fast forward a few more days as she reveals more about herself to me. At one point I decided that it wasn't wise to live with someone like this, it would only drag me down. So my luck came around when we couldn't find a flat to share but I found an advertisement for a room with these people which I went to see. After a bit of thinking I decided I liked the room and want to move here. Regardless, I noticed the she hasn't found anything yet but I didn't care too much. However, during all this period I've spent with her, it was all full of laughs and she kept calling me funny (and sick as well on even some of the -slightly- sexual jokes) and there's a few kino here and there, but not much to the point where I'm putting my arms around her or whatnot. I didn't want to turn up the knob on the "volume control" so fast yet.
Anyway it's getting to the point where she would knock on my window lots of times and ask to come in, or she drags me over there (cooking for me at one point, but that was only so I can give an opinion of her food so when this guy she's "seeing" can eat her food). I found myself commonly in her room sitting there chatting about stuff, but eventually it all leads into that she can't forget her ex-boyfriend who splitted up and a few other people. In a nutshell, they were all AFCs, and while shopping with her and going to some places with her she brings it up "oh my god this brings up memories" and stuff.
Now, the problem:
I can't sense if she likes me or not or if she is actually remotely interested in me because this guy that's she seeing, is only like 4-5 days before she knocked on my window the first time when she wanted to look at houses with me. All her past BFs were asian, and this guy she's currently seeing (asian too) is like kinda playing text games/holding back, so when I sat in her room she would nearly always ask me what his texts me (because I'm a guy and you know...).
She can't forgive herself much (although she stated to me she's tried) about her exs, and 2 nights ago she even rang him to find out how he is (but all he was like was, drunk, in depression, angry, etc etc etc, all the typical loser stuff, AFC). I simply cannot believe all of the men she knew in the past, it's impossible, I regard myself (after reading stuff from this site and rethinking my brain pattern for the last like, 4 years now?) as highly superior to all them past guys after a mental comparison in my head. I tried to give her a bit of advice for some stuff but it's not working as much (forgetting the past, moving on and try not to stay in touch as it will only come back to haunt her), but we've done a lot of things couples may have wanted to do by now (w atched a movie, had dinner/lunch in a resturaurant, I even watched a movie in her room on her laptop together). Everytime I see her I'm thinking that she's got the greatest catch in her life here (me, haha) but she can't seem to see it.
This has only been on for about 12 days, not THAT long I know but it progressed rapidly. I dumped a lot of time on her and hinted a few times that I'm interested. So far up until today she tried a few outfits on for me and asked for my opinion (note: nightmare. No matter what I said she said I was lying, heh) everytime she goes and see this guy. But the trouble with this guy is that he is slow at making a move/progress and is only texting. Kinda bad really. There's me doing all this stuff with her but there's him doing all the other fancy stuff (buy her flowers, take her out for a proper dinner).
It's sad really, I'm beginning to feel that she's using me to past time. I haven't show any negative emotions or anything but I do tend to shrug a lot and not say much when she mentions anything outside this "circle" (everything outside the circle is this guy and her exs and stuff) then quickly change the subject.
One thing to note is that I sensed that I "lost" the game when the other day we were walking back home (bear in mind I'm reluctant to do much until she's a bit more stable) she said to me "no offense but I feel more secure/protected when I'm with (this guy that she's currently "seeing") than I am with you". I didn't respond then as the moment I heard that it was like a stun in my train of thought. But I kind of figured that when she said that it was a major setback to me. It kinda conflicts with the stuff we done because I've been alone with her for a lot of the time and she's comfortable.
Another thing also, this is the first time I met a girl who thinks not all men masturbate. When she said that (she brought it up heh) I said all men do. She didn't believe me (ok maybe that 0.7% of men don't, but c'mon ...) Then I said also I do it too and then she brought up the guy she was "seeing" and I added that he does it as well. She then called me sick/disgusting (I was laughing real hard by then, then she followed) and stated that this guy was religious and doesn't do it because he has a tattoo on his hand of christ or whatever stops him. I thought in my mind "yeh bullsh-t" but I didn't say anything more as she seemed to have gotten a bit more upset. I stopped going on about the subject though but I think she's kind of screwed up or something ...
Sooo. Write her off and move out (she ain't found house yet, I'm 100% moving) or stay and continue to be friends? I've spent most of my time and effort now and work ain't helping too much. She doesn't seem to like dirty things although I kinda think she secretly does as she overeacts to anything sexual ~
..Sorry it's kind of long, but I think I need some opinions. I hope you can be patient enough to read it. If any questions i will respond and am happy to discuss this situation.
Quite normal here and I'm fine as it is myself, but at the moment my mindset is thinking "if I ain't getting a fxxk or something similar at the end of this why bother investing time? I'm busy with work and all my hobbies and got no time to waste". That's the introduction, anyway lets move on.
I'm away from home at work and live in this place where several other people live in too. I'm chinese myself and recently this indian girl (quite nice compared to the usual) who knew me a bit when me and her and a bunch of other people went out to this bar. Anyway she knocked on my window stating that she has to move out and such and I said that I needed to as well as it's becoming rough living here. She wanted to move into a house together with me so I kinda agreed not thinking too much about it.
Fast forward a few days we spent the weekend together and such looking for houses. As friends, you know. Nothing too unusual, but I saw how she was kinda likable. But before I had a chance to act much she said she's seeing someone. Not "permanent" yet but they're seeing how it goes. While we were looking and such she was talking a lot about how people are bad to her and such, or how every (asian) guy likes her and flirts with her. Anyway she denies liking to be "popular" (as i quite directly pointed it out saying that she must enjoy the attention). She wants to move out because the guys living in her flat are freaking her out.
Fast forward a few more days as she reveals more about herself to me. At one point I decided that it wasn't wise to live with someone like this, it would only drag me down. So my luck came around when we couldn't find a flat to share but I found an advertisement for a room with these people which I went to see. After a bit of thinking I decided I liked the room and want to move here. Regardless, I noticed the she hasn't found anything yet but I didn't care too much. However, during all this period I've spent with her, it was all full of laughs and she kept calling me funny (and sick as well on even some of the -slightly- sexual jokes) and there's a few kino here and there, but not much to the point where I'm putting my arms around her or whatnot. I didn't want to turn up the knob on the "volume control" so fast yet.
Anyway it's getting to the point where she would knock on my window lots of times and ask to come in, or she drags me over there (cooking for me at one point, but that was only so I can give an opinion of her food so when this guy she's "seeing" can eat her food). I found myself commonly in her room sitting there chatting about stuff, but eventually it all leads into that she can't forget her ex-boyfriend who splitted up and a few other people. In a nutshell, they were all AFCs, and while shopping with her and going to some places with her she brings it up "oh my god this brings up memories" and stuff.
Now, the problem:
I can't sense if she likes me or not or if she is actually remotely interested in me because this guy that's she seeing, is only like 4-5 days before she knocked on my window the first time when she wanted to look at houses with me. All her past BFs were asian, and this guy she's currently seeing (asian too) is like kinda playing text games/holding back, so when I sat in her room she would nearly always ask me what his texts me (because I'm a guy and you know...).
She can't forgive herself much (although she stated to me she's tried) about her exs, and 2 nights ago she even rang him to find out how he is (but all he was like was, drunk, in depression, angry, etc etc etc, all the typical loser stuff, AFC). I simply cannot believe all of the men she knew in the past, it's impossible, I regard myself (after reading stuff from this site and rethinking my brain pattern for the last like, 4 years now?) as highly superior to all them past guys after a mental comparison in my head. I tried to give her a bit of advice for some stuff but it's not working as much (forgetting the past, moving on and try not to stay in touch as it will only come back to haunt her), but we've done a lot of things couples may have wanted to do by now (w atched a movie, had dinner/lunch in a resturaurant, I even watched a movie in her room on her laptop together). Everytime I see her I'm thinking that she's got the greatest catch in her life here (me, haha) but she can't seem to see it.
This has only been on for about 12 days, not THAT long I know but it progressed rapidly. I dumped a lot of time on her and hinted a few times that I'm interested. So far up until today she tried a few outfits on for me and asked for my opinion (note: nightmare. No matter what I said she said I was lying, heh) everytime she goes and see this guy. But the trouble with this guy is that he is slow at making a move/progress and is only texting. Kinda bad really. There's me doing all this stuff with her but there's him doing all the other fancy stuff (buy her flowers, take her out for a proper dinner).
It's sad really, I'm beginning to feel that she's using me to past time. I haven't show any negative emotions or anything but I do tend to shrug a lot and not say much when she mentions anything outside this "circle" (everything outside the circle is this guy and her exs and stuff) then quickly change the subject.
One thing to note is that I sensed that I "lost" the game when the other day we were walking back home (bear in mind I'm reluctant to do much until she's a bit more stable) she said to me "no offense but I feel more secure/protected when I'm with (this guy that she's currently "seeing") than I am with you". I didn't respond then as the moment I heard that it was like a stun in my train of thought. But I kind of figured that when she said that it was a major setback to me. It kinda conflicts with the stuff we done because I've been alone with her for a lot of the time and she's comfortable.
Another thing also, this is the first time I met a girl who thinks not all men masturbate. When she said that (she brought it up heh) I said all men do. She didn't believe me (ok maybe that 0.7% of men don't, but c'mon ...) Then I said also I do it too and then she brought up the guy she was "seeing" and I added that he does it as well. She then called me sick/disgusting (I was laughing real hard by then, then she followed) and stated that this guy was religious and doesn't do it because he has a tattoo on his hand of christ or whatever stops him. I thought in my mind "yeh bullsh-t" but I didn't say anything more as she seemed to have gotten a bit more upset. I stopped going on about the subject though but I think she's kind of screwed up or something ...
Sooo. Write her off and move out (she ain't found house yet, I'm 100% moving) or stay and continue to be friends? I've spent most of my time and effort now and work ain't helping too much. She doesn't seem to like dirty things although I kinda think she secretly does as she overeacts to anything sexual ~