Maybe it's not so hard to find the "one"

Slickster

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Have you ever heard this saying?

"You get what you give."

Recently I had a unique experience to hear all about the intricate details of one of my old ex's current relationships. (Not thru her but through her new man's best friend) The details are really unimportant but what is interesting is that my old ex seems to be a completely different person than she was when she was with me.

When I was with her she was pretty much a perfect gf. Sex was great and plentiful. She was very caring, respectful, easy going and fun to be around. Apparently things aren't this way with her new man. In fact quite the opposite. From what I hear she is cold as ice in the bedroom, and an overall beatch to this poor guy.

It really got me thinking because the two of them have recently decided to get married and have a child. So in my mind things must be going fairly well with their relationship for them to make this decision. So why is it that things are so different?

I don't really know the guy that well but I do know through one of his ex gf's that "he was one of the sweetest, nicest boyfriends ever". :rolleyes:

Which leads me to believe that he is probably the typical supplicating AFC type who lets the woman rule the relationship. Which kind of makes sense seeing how she treats him so poorly.

Now we hear all the time about how guys are having trouble finding a "good" woman. Apparently they are extremely difficult to find. A needle in the haystack right?

Or are they?

Maybe it is the man who isn't everything he is supposed to be. Maybe that is why so many guys have troubles finding the "one".

Is it because we ourselves (men) aren't the perfect "one"?

If we become the perfect man or boyfriend, or companion do you think our relationships with women will improve?

Or are we all just perfect the way we are and its the women who are beatches?

Thoughts?
 

Luthor Rex

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Yes I think the original poster is on to something.

In relationships like tends to attract like.
 

STR8UP

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No point on playing the blame game. It doesn't matter whether the chicken or the egg came first...all that matters is that things are the way they are, and you either adapt or you get left behind.

On the flip side of the coin, most women wouldn't know a good man if he clubbed her upside the head and dragged her into his cave-mansion.

You mentioned your ex planning to marry the supplicating AFC? I see it all the time. Happens to me often. Woman comes to the realization that I am not willing to commit to her and give her a house full of rug rats with a dog and a picket fence, so she latches onto the first sissy boy who is willing to play house. In my opinion, that's a HUGE problem.

So if women "control" the dating game, and they are more than willing to settle for a substandard male, what kind of ramifications does this have? Well, first and foremost is that it sets up a dysfunctional relationship. Woman settles for sissy boy, yet seeks a manly man to light her fire on the side.

To summarize- I do place the bulk of the blame on women. As I have said before, the pendulum has swung and women are having their "heyday". They are paying for it, whether they realize it or not, but one day in the not too distant future things will have to correct themselves and the balance of power will be back in the hands of men, Question is, will you know how to handle it when things change?
 

joekerr31

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finding a person who you can trust long term and who takes your needs into equal consideration with her own is a rare find - i dont care what kind of man you are.

last time i checked the divorce rates weren't limited to just 'ugly' people.

the alpha males and females (in looks that is) have just as many p roblems in relationships as everyone else.
 

Victory Unlimited

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STr8up makes a good, but SOBERING point. I have found it very true in my own life and in the lives of many people that I have observed, that the majority of women in Western Culture do not recognize a good man when they see him.

Many women have self-sabotaged relationships with good men simply because they appeared too "normal" to them. And this RATTLED them to their core. So although the man could still be a masculine man without treating her harshly, abusively, or with disrespect, many a woman cannot abide a man who has his shyt together.

I recently have withstood the aftermath of emotional upheaval that resulted from dealing with a woman who didn't feel like she was "worthy" of good treatment. So she set about exploring other options that were more in the realm of what her past male/female relationship profile exhibited.

She seemed to be more comfortable with the mediocre and the mundane. She fought viciously against the idea of elevating her standards and thereby bettering herself as a person in a relationship. Accountability, compromise, and communication were things that she ultimately had no interest in. Though she followed my lead in the beginning and in the middle, in the END she chose to rebel.

Now she has fought her way back to the superficiality that she came from. She has ignored, or turned a deaf ear to the call to "come up higher". So she will be yet another female who will quite possibly have many previoulsy avoidable heartaches and pains in the future due to her inability to sincerely recognize and appreciate a man of the overall caliber of VICTORY UNLIMITED.

I have seen many women (not all, of course) from my past suffer when they either leave ME, or when I leave THEM due to some heinous love/war-crime they have committed against me. Quite often, it is several illegitmate children, broken LTRs/Marriages, and 50 pounds of fat later...but they ALWAYS come back. LOL

They either come back, or I see them out when the blush is off the rose and they are looking their worst, or when I am looking like the fine specimen of a handsome man that I am. lol

Sorry for the rant fellas, but it's been a rough couple of days in the war effort for me...so please forgive me.

But to address this topic more succinctly I will say that YES you do get what you give out. But per my own personal experiences, whether or not you receive your harvest from the field you're sowing your seed in seems iffy to me at best.

I DO believe that justice will be served on ALL in the end, but whether or not it'll be done during THIS life or the next, I'm not always so sure about.

And in regards to making the present girl you're dating the one by BEING the one yourself is concerned...well, I still believe that it CAN happen. But what I see most of the time is a large group of women out here faling to recognize the value of a "good" man, and instead, are opting to choose the men who stroke their ego rather than those who challenge them POSITIVELY by seeking to hold them accountable for continuing to grow as fully-realized, feminine women.

Sometimes, a man CAN'T make certain women into HIS one, because deep down THAT woman knows she's NOT really worthy of him.

And like water...she runs off...to seek her OWN level.

And so be it. So God bless them, but also...good riddance.

Peace...one day.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

MatureDJ

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STR8UP said:
Woman comes to the realization that I am not willing to commit to her and give her a house full of rug rats with a dog and a picket fence, so she latches onto the first sissy boy who is willing to play house. In my opinion, that's a HUGE problem.
A problem for her or for you? As a woman she is looking for a good man to start a family. If it is obvious that you are not that man, she will look elsewhere. I don't see a problem. Sure it's a problem for you, because you get keep on getting dumped (unless you really want to work towards marrying her.)

STR8UP said:
So if women "control" the dating game, and they are more than willing to settle for a substandard male, what kind of ramifications does this have? Well, first and foremost is that it sets up a dysfunctional relationship. Woman settles for sissy boy, yet seeks a manly man to light her fire on the side.
Obviously, for a woman who is ready to settle down, the sexual market value of a man who is not ready to get married is 0, so a man like you would be substandard.

But I see your point. You are bemoaning the fact that such a woman would consider you functionally unmarriageable - just like WyldCougar bemoans the fact that bachelors (especially childless ones) consider single mothers to be unmarriageble.

Actually, as a man who is ready to settle down, I hope to attract someone above my level - IOW, a woman who has encountered men of higher SMV than me, but who are marriage-shy, so that she will see the value in me. Now, this doesn't mean that I would put with any BS (which you seem to indicate that these subsequent suitors are doing.) They seem to be getting more steady puussy than you.
 

Genghis Juan

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Slickster,

You may have heard through a friend of the boyfriend, a biased view of what's going on. She may be perceived to be cold and *****y when in reality she may be frustrated with the bf for dozens of reasons that have nothing to do with him supposedly supplicating to her. There could be much deeper and more complex reasons for their troubled marriage than the simplistic naive AFC tag that some put on the current bf.

Women aren't the one-dimensional emotional beings that are to be conquered or controlled by a DJ. Traits like emotional vulnerability, logical thinking and (most importantly) sophisticated minds are equally shared by both genders.

Too many times in these forums, people look at men as a DJ or an AFC, the former being the set of behaviors that lead to success and the latter being those that lead to failure. Its a much too simplistic and self-contained view of the world and relationships -- the notion that you alone have ultimate control over every interaction using a pre-determined/learned set of mental tricks. Its the ultimate fraud that the self-help industry sells to people. The irony of this all, is that its insulting men and ultimately leads men to "play games" on themselves.

The ultimate thing in life is to simply be the best person that you can be. IMO, stop using a dichotomized view of the world (men v. women, AFC v. DJ), it will only breed bitterness and hate in you that you will direct on women and or "AFC's". Its not different from the hate-breeding thinking of black people v. white people or Jews v. Arabs - its caustic. It will eat away at you and make you hardened and jaded, leaving you unable to taste life's sweetness even when it falls in your lap.

Forget the notions of being the "perfect" man or finding the "perfect" woman. Those are fantasies no one can live up to. One woman's Romeo is another woman's Quasi Motto. Be the best man you can be, not a DJ, but Slickster. If you were to settle down with a woman, you would be alot more satisfied with a woman who has chosen to be with you because of who you are at the CORE, rather than a woman who has done so because you executed the DJ playbook.

There are plenty of good women out there that are marriage material (yes, in the Western world). Relationships in the past and present go sour often times not because one or both people weren't perfect, but often because they're simply not on the same page.

My 2 cents.

GJ
 
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Mr.Positive

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Genghis Juan said:
Slickster,

You may have heard through a friend of the boyfriend, a biased view of what's going on. She may be perceived to be cold and *****y when in reality she may be frustrated with the bf for dozens of reasons that have nothing to do with him supposedly supplicating to her. There could be much deeper and more complex reasons for their troubled marriage than the simplistic naive AFC tag that some put on the current bf.

Women aren't the one-dimensional emotional beings that are to be conquered or controlled by a DJ. Traits like emotional vulnerability, logical thinking and (most importantly) sophisticated minds are equally shared by both genders.

Too many times in these forums, people look at men as a DJ or an AFC, the former being the set of behaviors that lead to success and the latter being those that lead to failure. Its a much too simplistic and self-contained view of the world and relationships -- the notion that you alone have ultimate control over every interaction using a pre-determined/learned set of mental tricks. Its the ultimate fraud that the self-help industry sells to people. The irony of this all, is that its insulting men and ultimately leads men to "play games" on themselves.

The ultimate thing in life is to simply be the best person that you can be. IMO, stop using a dichotomized view of the world (men v. women, AFC v. DJ), it will only breed bitterness and hate in you that you will direct on women and or "AFC's". Its not different from the hate-breeding thinking of black people v. white people or Jews v. Arabs - its caustic. It will eat away at you and make you hardened and jaded, leaving you unable to taste life's sweetness even when it falls in your lap.

Forget the notions of being the "perfect" man or finding the "perfect" woman. Those are fantasies no one can live up to. One woman's Romeo is another woman's Quasi Motto. Be the best man you can be, not a DJ, but Slickster. If you were to settle down with a woman, you would be alot more satisfied with a woman who has chosen to be with you because of who you are at the CORE, rather than a woman who has done so because you executed the DJ playbook.

There are plenty of good women out there that are marriage material (yes, in the Western world). Relationships in the past and present go sour often times not because one or both people weren't perfect, but often because they're simply not on the same page.

My 2 cents.

GJ
Wow..Ghengis. Great post, this really spoke to me, and is what I needed to hear.

I guess the goal so to speak, isn't being a DJ or "perfect" at seduction, games, the perfect person. The goal should be being the perfect YOU. Everyone is different and we shouldn't base our self-worth on what others value.

The more you are your "true self", the happier in life you will be. Happier people are have an aura about them. Every notice that when you are in a great mood, everything is perfect, you're magnetic. People pick up on this and latch on to it like a leech, trying to suck your happiness...feed off of it.
 

wayword

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Slickster said:
Apparently things aren't this way with her new man. In fact quite the opposite. From what I hear she is cold as ice in the bedroom, and an overall beatch to this poor guy.

It really got me thinking because the two of them have recently decided to get married and have a child. So in my mind things must be going fairly well with their relationship for them to make this decision.
Woa, it ain't over till the fat lady cheats, divorces and takes half this guy's net worth!

SERIOUSLY, this guy is making a HUGE mistake...and will be very, VERY sorry 5 years from now!

His strategy of supplication is obviously already backfiring on him in the way he is mistreated...and will only get WORSE once he gives her all that financial and legal leverage that a marriage entails.

NOTHING has "worked out" yet here. Marriage to this cold bych is only going to be the BEGINNING of his END, lol! :crackup:
 

joekerr31

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Mr.Positive said:
Wow..Ghengis. Great post, this really spoke to me, and is what I needed to hear.

The more you are your "true self", the happier in life you will be.

this is of course true, but people underestimate the work it takes to become your true self. too many people twist this and use it as an excuse to validate their AFC behaviors.

"hey if i want to do x, y, or z by golly miss molly im going to do it. because thats who i am. and i gotta be me."

big big big mistake thinking like that UNTIL you've mastered yourself and in doing so mastered the external world around you and in doing so finally gained wisdom and insight into the implications and cost / benefits associated with doing x, y, or z.

so im 100% all about finding your true self, but 100% against folks excusing dysfunctional self defeating behaviors as being behaviors associated with ones 'true self'.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Mr.Positive

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That's the thing Joekerr, very very few people take the effort to try and find their true identity. I see it every day, successful people that are miserable going about their daily lives like it's one big chore. The more I start to get things, the more I realize how many people just dont get it.

For me, it wasn't this site that open my eyes. I was going about my daily life, I had a house, great corporate tech job, but I was missing something. I kept thinking stupid things like, if a I get a great gal, I'll be complete. If my 401k was a little bigger, then yes, I'm a success. Hey, there's a new great car I'd like to own. I was living life based upon what society states what happiness is.

Then I had a near death experience on a mountain that shoke some sense into me (we didn't have a rope due to lack of inexperience/stupidy, and ended up way over our heads). To this day, I am very thankful that I still have the gift of life. So what did I do? I took up rock climbing, learned ropes and knots, learned how to read the mountain. Then, I went back to that same mountain and "kicked it's a$$" so to speak. That was a great day for me. It lead to a lot more mountain climbs and experiences I'll look back on and smile.

I've learned for me, life is one big exciting challenge. I've learned that I'll fight for things that I believe in. There is too many countries to explore, oceans to sail upon, and mountains to climb, I want to do them all!

Sorry for the rant, but for me personally, that's the path to finding your true self. I'll be honest, I don't care about fancy cars, expensive clothing. I hated working in an office, but I'm much more of a happier person that I've learned this about myself.

In life sometimes you have only two choices, run or fight. The greatest feeling in the world is to learn that you, at the core level, are a fighter. Once you learn that, everything in life is easier and much more enjoyable.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Slickster said:
Now we hear all the time about how guys are having trouble finding a "good" woman. Apparently they are extremely difficult to find. A needle in the haystack right?

Maybe it is the man who isn't everything he is supposed to be. Maybe that is why so many guys have troubles finding the "one".

Is it because we ourselves (men) aren't the perfect "one"?

If we become the perfect man or boyfriend, or companion do you think our relationships with women will improve?
How long are we going to perpetuate this mythology? How long will it take to disabuse ourselves of this fairytale? You sound like a whiney, love-sick 13 y.o. girl. The ONE is an idealization, a fantasy. Ideally we would all love to have a mate that was an HB10, consistently sexually available, unconditionally loving, intelligent, nurturing, fun, well adjusted, socially adept and comes from a wonderful, well adjusted family. This person only exists as an idea. The reality is that for each quality that we idealize another quality becomes lacking. There is no perfect ONE, there is no soulmate. You need to change your mind about this.

There is no ONE. This is the soulmate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of 'special someones' out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who's remarried after their soulmate has died or moved on.

Stop trying to find the ONE out there for you. I about puke everytime I hear the mealy-mouthed voice of that Focus on the Family "Doctor" on the eHarmony commercials playing on stupid women's (and too many men's) fears of never finding security by advertising that they'll find your soul-mate with their 40 question pop-psychology personality test. Blecgh,..! There has never been a more damaging mass-psychosis in the history of humanity than the personal limitations and retardation in maturity that is self-inflicted from people swallowing this soul-mate garbage. But then again I guess no one would get paid to write sappy pop-love songs, produce 'romantic comedies', or write self-help books if people could see through myths like this.

This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it's course we'll know that we're 'intended' for each other. And while this may sell a lot of romance novels it's hardly a realistic way to plan your life. I've been married for 11 years and I love my wife dearly, but I know damn well were I to die that she'd marry another suitable guy a few years later. My brother-in-law commited suicide after 2 kids and 20 years of marriage, because he thought exactly like this; she was the ONE and he couldn't go on without her and she even bought this for the first 17 or so years. This woman started dating a millionaire 3 months after he was buried and married this guy a year later and you know what she tells my wife to this day? He's the ONE. So, you can sing songs about her (or him) and how you are each other's sun and moon, but in the harsh daylight of reality, we all do exactly what our conditions demand from us.

What I find even more fascinating is how common the idea is (mostly for guys) that a nuts & bolts view of life should be trumped in the area of intersexual relationships. Guys who would otherwise recognize the value of understanding psychology, biology, sociology, evolution and the interplay we see these take place in our lives on a daily basis, are some of the first guys to become violently opposed to the idea that maybe there isn't 'someone for everyone' or that there are a lot more ONEs out there that could meet or exceed the criteria we set for them to be the ONE. I think it comes off as nihilistic or this dread that maybe their ego investment in this belief is false. It's just too terrible to contemplate that there maybe no ONE or there maybe several ONEs to spend their lives with. And what's more ironic is that personally I have a very strong belief in God and yet don't entertain for a second that anything is predestined or that there isn't a whole world of people out there that could just as easily be a 'perfect match' for me in any given circumstance.
 

azanon

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Rollo Tomassi said:
And what's more ironic is that personally I have a very strong belief in God and yet don't entertain for a second that anything is predestined or that there isn't a whole world of people out there that could just as easily be a 'perfect match' for me in any given circumstance.
I get a kick out of all the cakeeaters here with respect to christainity and sexual immorality. Here's a few versus you guys might want to read:
Exodus 20:14, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatains 5:19, Mark 7:20-21, Revelations 21:7-8. How many times have you bragged about your former conquests, or promoted sex outside of marriage, without remourse?

If you want them to quit kidding themselves about soulmates, maybe you should quit kidding yourself about this issue. I'm an agnostic, btw, and fully realize as a former christain its one or the other on this.

Come-on, LMS, come out of the closet on this, and tell them i speak the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As an alternative, RT, i would LOVE to here how you reconcile the two. How do you trick your mind to think its ok? Seriously, I would love to know how you do that.
 

Slickster

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Hello all

Glad to see this post started some intelligent conversation.

There have been some good responses but as usual I think some people get a bit too carried away (ie. Rollo) :)

The point of this thread wasn't to get too deep into the whole concept of finding the "one" or anything like that. Maybe I chose the wrong words and touched a soft spot or something. Sorry.

Its just that I see posts on this forum and I hear it from my single buddies all the time. "Where are all the good women?"

It just gets me thinking because anytime I'm single I seem to have the opposite problem. I meet several women who I think are all great and then I have the pain of trying to decide which one I want most. :rolleyes:

The trend I notice is that the guys who complain that women are too flaky are usually the guys who want to be players and have several women on the go at a time.

The guys who complain about their gf's in bed are probably the wham bam thank-you ma'am types. (who probably have small penises too.)

The guys who get b!tched at all the time from their gf's are usually the ones staying out all night with the boys partying, etc.

The point I'm trying to make is that I think there is an overall lack of respect amongst women and men in the dating game and in relationships.

Now I'm not saying go out and do whatever "she" wants to make things better.

I just think people could do a hell of a lot better if they smartened up a little.

Be a man. Demand respect. Set your standards high for what you expect out of others and your relationships.

However.... you have to give it to get it.

Get it?
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Crank_It_Up

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Slickster said:
...Now we hear all the time about how guys are having trouble finding a "good" woman. Apparently they are extremely difficult to find...
Usually one person cares more than the other. It is rare to have both people think they have hit the jackpot. There is no "one" but the rarity with which both people fall head over heels for the other, makes it seem as if they must be the "one".
 

Mr.Positive

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I'm going to go out on a limb and say I do believe in "the one". By "the one" I mean, I believe there is a woman out there that I would be the most compatible with, not the AFC mentality of our souls were destined to be together BS.

At a biological, innate level, Rollo's thinking of spreading our seed etc makes sense, becuase of the male sex drive. However, take foxes for example. Foxes mate for life. If you see a dead fox on the side of the road, sadly realize there is a lonely fox out there without a mate. That's innate for foxes, they don't think about it. At the biological level, foxes aren't meant to spread their seed, be Alpha, and all the other arguments. That's just how foxes are. Furthermore, foxes don't watch TV, absorb media's influences, sad country songs, feminization of our society, etc. Foxes are foxes and do what foxes do. Maybe humans are similar? Maybe, if we took our ability to over-analyze everything away, and deprogramed ourselves to our basic nature, we would be like foxes. Just a thought.

Furthermore, my parents have been married for over 35 years and still can't get enough of each other. While they might not be "the one", they are extremely compatible and have built a life together that brings them complete happiness. My father is not an AFC, my mother doesn't challenge his masculinity, and my father cherishes my mother's feminity.

They've learned, that a successful marriage takes hard work. They've learned that a successful marriage is all about little compromises here and there, and after 35 years, they've established such strong habits with each other, they are inseperatable.

So, yeah, I guess I do believe there is one woman out there that I am the most compatible with. I believe that there is a woman that will give to a relationship as much as I will, that I'll click with on a deeper level than all the other women I've dated. If you ask any happy marriage, I mean marriages that are old-school, people who have been together for 35, 40, 50 happy years. They knew they were right for each.

So...don't give up!! Enjoy the women that come and go through your life in your search for your most compatible woman!!
 

Vulpine

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Good thread.

Ghengis Juan had a great post... counter to what is popular. :up:

With all the "good women" gripes, I began to develop a different mindset. We talk of "making ourselves better" and "making our futures", but somehow we revert to thinking that we have to "find" a "good woman". Find?

F i n d ?

We are in control of everything else in our lives, why now do we suddenly have to "find" any other aspect?

No, how about "make"? There's nothing written that says you can't create the perfect woman for yourself using nothing but any generic woman and standard household products. If you find a woman you enjoy, hand her an iron and tell her to smooth out her wrinkles. If your DJ skills are honed, her IL will be up, and she'll gladly jump through your "self improvement" hoops, or get lost.

If life didn't demand certain things from you in order for you to survive, you'd lay around and get fat/b!tchy too, wouldn't you? Well, relationships are a part of life. You have to make some demands, otherwise the woman will lay around getting fat and b!tchy. It's simple logic.

This is why I've been pushing "on the job training" lately. Noone knows how to drive a stickshift, ride a bike, solve for "X", or put a worm on a hook until they are taught. Women don't know how to be with a DJ until they are taught. So, rather than direct your energy towards endlessly searching for that nugget of gold, I guess I'm urging everyone to get into alchemy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You know the Disney fairytale of Cinderella? I saw it again the other day, and this time I noticed some DJ themes. And, the theme applied to my idea of training any woman to be a DJ's choosen partner.

See, Prince Charming was a DJ. Dude had women lined up. He picked from a crowd of women. Now, say the ballroom scene was his "dating life". There were good aspects, and bad aspects of the candidates, but there was one woman that showed potential... albeit fleeting (we chase that which retreats vs. attraction?). He lined up all the women in town again and used a very specific gauge. He gauged these women against his ideal woman. And when he found her (again), she wasn't a princess, she was a lowly maid.

What's a prince going to do with a maid?

Hire her on as a princess and give her "on the job training" to be successful in the position.

See, all these "maids" you sift through may have potential to be your "princess". However, they may not have the means or the know-how to be that princess, so you have to train them. She can still scrub the palace floors if she wants; she'd likely be greatful for the opportunity to do it.

Yes, I know I just related "Cinderella" and being a DJ, I'm somewhat ashamed. I'd like to point out that Prince Charming had a foot fetish, and his only criteria for selection was that the woman had perfect feet and fit in that super-hot glass slipper.

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It's not hard to "find" "one" at all, they are everywhere. You've probably already met several "ones". The fact is, you can't expect to find anyone perfect for you: you have to make an average chick perfect.

Which is realistic? Which is optimistic? Which is pessimistic?

"Finding" is pretty bleak, considering the candidates, and not very realistic. Overall odds of winning the jackpot? 1:116,383,451

"Making" is pretty optimistic, considering the candidates, but is much more realistic.
Overall odds of making the jackpot? 1:1,243

People win the lottery every day, but they keep playing to get the "jackpot". If you used the funds and energy that you would otherwise blow on lottery tickets to invest instead, the odds of successfully achieving a jackpot are much higher. And, much more of your life is free since you don't have to go to the corner store to buy lottery tickets anymore. You can use that time to get more productive things done.
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
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Mr.Positive said:
At a biological, innate level, Rollo's thinking of spreading our seed etc makes sense, becuase of the male sex drive. However, take foxes for example. Foxes mate for life. If you see a dead fox on the side of the road, sadly realize there is a lonely fox out there without a mate. That's innate for foxes, they don't think about it. At the biological level, foxes aren't meant to spread their seed, be Alpha, and all the other arguments. That's just how foxes are. Furthermore, foxes don't watch TV, absorb media's influences, sad country songs, feminization of our society, etc. Foxes are foxes and do what foxes do. Maybe humans are similar? Maybe, if we took our ability to over-analyze everything away, and deprogramed ourselves to our basic nature, we would be like foxes. Just a thought.
Foxes? Given my username, I must give you a :up: for the analogy.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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