Matrix is becoming more than the norm (wife cheating thread)...

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speed dawg

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My wife's friend's husband (call him Jack) caught my wife's friend (call her Jill) in their own bed, at home, lunchtime, butt-ass naked and getting drilled by some dude from her work. They have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. Very tragic. In a way we are close to this couple, sort of a friend from high school that you still sort of put up with because you've known them their whole life. Me and my wife, we've probably seen this coming for a while, but we never thought she'd cross THAT line.

They are typical. Been together since sr. year of high school, both popular, he got 'saved' from his reckless behavior by her, he was the athlete - respected, etc. He made good money, but she spent it as soon as he got it. They were in debt and lived in the $300,000 house in the nice suburban neighborhood with the community pool. Drama was her middle name. She had no self esteem (evident to people like me who knew what the fvck was going on). Kids were cute but on their way to be spoiled brats. He told me the typical sh1t about happy life happy wife garbage. They were the couple that many tried to measure up to, as being perfect. She yelled at him, she threw temper tantrums, but it was always normal. Or was it?

She started dressing nice at work. After the second kid, he got her new tits. Friends comment on how she looks at work. A guy's name starts getting mentioned more and more. She actually showed 'actions' that hinted toward her wanting one of my buddies. Nobody cared, because it couldn't happen, right? I mean, here she is, with the master father and provider, high school sweethearts, only been with one other guy in her life, husband is 6-3 and loves UFC, she has it all, right?

And now, everybody says he should take her back, for the kids. Men I have looked up to all my life are saying this nonsense. I want to puke. These same men have only recently fallen victim to this matrix. The guy was not an AFC to me, on the surface. We had MANY conversations about women, and his stance on his wife cheating was, "One shot. She cheats, she's out."

He's filed for divorce already, 3 days later. But I fear that the minions and crabs in the bucket will convince him otherwise. I have been vocal about what I think, and have been made to be the bad guy. My wife agrees with me, but has a big heart for the kids, so she's emotional and not thinking right anyway. However she upholds my beliefs. Sometimes I say, well it's not my business, but in a way it is.

People ask me what I would do in that situation. My answer does not surprise them. My wife knows exactly what I would do. I feel that people 'know' how to handle things, they just do not 'do' it.

I feel like I'm by myself on this. Alone in a world full of ball-less chumps. It's crap like this, that breeds the having the cake and eating it too mantra. Yeah this is a rant, so fvcking what. Sh1t is out of control. Until men start holding these dumb people accountable, it will only continue.
 

Mr. Me

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>> together since sr. year of high school,

They have a 5 year old and a 1 year old.

She yelled at him, she threw temper tantrums >>

This story always seems to end the same damn way.
Sorry to hear it happened to your friend.

I can't believe other men are taking the Oprahish position telling him to take her back. "For the kids". What a lousy, absurd reason to waste more of one's life staying hitched with a cheat.
 

NewMan

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I think this situation is rather the norm - perhaps not the way he found her - but the fact she cheated.

I heard a statistic a while back saying that currently 60% of women cheat/have cheated - It is getting the norm these days. Hell, just look at web sites like Ashley Madison.....

Anyway - i believe everyone should go into a marrage with an exit plan. Let the woman know what is acceptable and what is not. Make it as clear as possible....


I know of guys who stay in broken marrages "for the children". Admirable. But i have to ask them - when their wives cheat/lie/stop being wifey - did they think of hte children.


Your friend is an idiot if he takes her back. Not matter the cost in real $'s to him - it's worth it - she's a ho.
 

speed dawg

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I happen to believe that IF they do get back together, this will just happen again, in a few weeks/months/years, etc. It always does. I've seen it happen so many times. I don't think I've eva, EVA, EVA EVA EVA EVA EVA...seen it actually work out after a cheating instance such as this.

I agree with all of you about the kids. Better to be raised separate than in a no-trust household. It just doesn't work. There's no one-ness, no 'unit' of family. Actually that won't be there if they split either, but it least it will allow for the minimum of negativity that comes into the dynamic.

I don't think he has actually 'left' yet. He's staying in their guest room and she sleeps with the kids. He won't let her touch him, and I know he's talking regularly with a lawyer. Poor kids don't even know what happened yet.

I must say he's handled it pretty well. Always easier said than done I suppose. I just don't see how he could get that picture out of his head. Said it took all he had to not beat the sh1t out of both of them. Smart move on his part, with the courts anyway.
 

Warrior74

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Almost every guy I know who bought tits for a chic, is not longer with that chic. It's chic self improvement on the guy's dime, so they can land that next guy.

They always say it's for themselves, and it is...it's not for the guy, its for capturing the attention of the next guy, which is what she wants (for herself).
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

trent81

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I was fuvking a married woman for four months. She disappeared and went back to him as if nothing happened. Even if he found out, he wouldn't leave her. Because of the kids and the fact that he has a hot wife, he would never leave. You live in USA, where man has been stripped of everything by a matriarichal society. He won't leave, ten bucks says he takes her back. She was "experimenting" he will convince himself. Married women do this all the time. The man she married is attraction she had for him when she was younger. She is a woman now and wants a different type of man. I never ever fubked a married woman in her own bed at lunch time, that is asking to get shot. What was his reaction? Did he go ape ****?
 

decades

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buying tits for her was his biggest mistake.
 

STR8UP

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Guys throw fits when I talk about how rampant female infidelity is, and how they aren't immune to becoming a victim, but I see what goes on.
 

CGE333

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I would like to say that I am surprised by her cheating and by the cries from the "peanut gallery" to stay together for the kids, but unfortunately I am not surprised at all. At this point, I don't think there is anything a woman could do that would not surprise me.
 

vitor

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Send him her, or to any other pro-male website. Take him out to dinner and drinks and be supportive of him moving on and not supplicating to her and the females in his life. He can still be a good dad without being with the *****. Send him to NO marriage . com asap
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Aenigma

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This is what happens when women have absolutely no fear of any consequences. No fear of losing the house. No fear of losing the kids. No fear of having the "lifestyle she's accustomed to" diminished in any way. Hell, no fear of physical harm. The only way to offset vag moistening from other men, these days, is with the fear of losing you- if she stops thinking that you're a catch, or dosent care for you anymore, then all bets are off.

At any rate- I'm glad I got divorced; if I came home to that happening after another mind numbing day at work, to pay for a bunch of crap that I bought to "make her happy", I would probably lose it in a fit of rage and kill them both.

I don't understand how a man couldn't lose it if he came home to that sort of situation; I just don't get it.
 

Tictac

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I got my wife of 24 years out of the house and am finishing our divorce because of our children. She took up with a 'bad boy' (holy crap what a misnomer - he's a simple lowlife), tried to hide it and got caught.

Most painful experience of my life and worse for our kids. But I will not have our children believe that promises and commitment mean nothing. And I would not play victim, be exploited or be lied to for anyone. What kind of s*** is that to have kids see? What kind of person would do that?

Listen up - any man who would take another man's wife is not a man at all. I don't care if she inserts you into her while singing 'God Save the Queen'. If you are a man, you will recognize a low quality woman (or one with mental issues) and walk away. My wife was a beautiful woman, great lover, fantastic mother, daughter, sister - all of it. She traded it in for cheap laughs.

But that's not the reason men (or women) don't take another's spouse. Its because of the collateral damage to children, family and friends. No amount of or quality of sex is worth that. If your own short-term pleasure means that much, you've got problems. Unless you truly beleive that its all and only about you (that makes you a narcissist by the way), you walk.

If another notch in your belt is that important, you're just a wanker.

Tell your friend to get her out of the house and away from the kids. It can be done. I did it and under very adverse laws (New Jersey/USA). Tell him to focus on being a good father and a good man. He no longer needs to worry about being a good husband. Tell him to turn 180 degrees from 'her' and keep walking. He needs to do this for himself and his children.

Divorce is expensive because its worth it.

Kick ass, take names, no prisoners,
Tictac
 

Nutz

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speed dawg said:
My wife's friend's husband (call him Jack) caught my wife's friend (call her Jill) in their own bed, at home, lunchtime, butt-ass naked and getting drilled by some dude from her work. They have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. Very tragic. In a way we are close to this couple, sort of a friend from high school that you still sort of put up with because you've known them their whole life. Me and my wife, we've probably seen this coming for a while, but we never thought she'd cross THAT line.

They are typical. Been together since sr. year of high school, both popular, he got 'saved' from his reckless behavior by her, he was the athlete - respected, etc. He made good money, but she spent it as soon as he got it. They were in debt and lived in the $300,000 house in the nice suburban neighborhood with the community pool. Drama was her middle name. She had no self esteem (evident to people like me who knew what the fvck was going on). Kids were cute but on their way to be spoiled brats. He told me the typical sh1t about happy life happy wife garbage. They were the couple that many tried to measure up to, as being perfect. She yelled at him, she threw temper tantrums, but it was always normal. Or was it?

She started dressing nice at work. After the second kid, he got her new tits. (classic mistake and EXTREMELY common precursor to cheating) Friends comment on how she looks at work. A guy's name starts getting mentioned more and more. She actually showed 'actions' that hinted toward her wanting one of my buddies. Nobody cared, because it couldn't happen, right? I mean, here she is, with the master father and provider, high school sweethearts, only been with one other guy in her life, husband is 6-3 and loves UFC, she has it all, right?

And now, everybody says he should take her back, for the kids. Men I have looked up to all my life are saying this nonsense. I want to puke. These same men have only recently fallen victim to this matrix. The guy was not an AFC to me, on the surface. We had MANY conversations about women, and his stance on his wife cheating was, "One shot. She cheats, she's out."

He's filed for divorce already, 3 days later. But I fear that the minions and crabs in the bucket will convince him otherwise. I have been vocal about what I think, and have been made to be the bad guy. My wife agrees with me, but has a big heart for the kids, so she's emotional and not thinking right anyway. However she upholds my beliefs. Sometimes I say, well it's not my business, but in a way it is.

People ask me what I would do in that situation. My answer does not surprise them. My wife knows exactly what I would do. I feel that people 'know' how to handle things, they just do not 'do' it.

I feel like I'm by myself on this. Alone in a world full of ball-less chumps. It's crap like this, that breeds the having the cake and eating it too mantra. Yeah this is a rant, so fvcking what. Sh1t is out of control. Until men start holding these dumb people accountable, it will only continue.

Red flags in bold red. And you're not alone. I'd rather be single spinning plates than give up my standards by accepting piss poor behavior from a woman, or any friend for that matter.
 

Ballie

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Deja vu on my marriage. Exept for the new t!ts - she did ask though! He is doing the best thing and will find that out for himself. I made the mistake of staying on too long in a loveless relationship for the sake of the kids. Who are happy that we split because of all the shouting and screaming that took place.
 

jophil28

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Tictac said:
Most painful experience of my life and worse for our kids. But I will not have our children believe that promises and commitment mean nothing. And I would not play victim, be exploited or be lied to for anyone. What kind of s*** is that to have kids see? What kind of person would do that?

Listen up - any man who would take another man's wife is not a man at all.
What kind of person? A person who seeks her own instant gratification first and is willing to put her investment in a marriage and family at risk for 'fun'.
I agree with everything that you said in your posts, and I also agree with your actions in divorcing her as a bad example to your children. Some women just should not breed.

Let me ask you a question.

What was/is the longevity, quality and status of her parents' marriage ?
 

trent81

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Tictac said:
I got my wife of 24 years out of the house and am finishing our divorce because of our children. She took up with a 'bad boy' (holy crap what a misnomer - he's a simple lowlife), tried to hide it and got caught.

Most painful experience of my life and worse for our kids. But I will not have our children believe that promises and commitment mean nothing. And I would not play victim, be exploited or be lied to for anyone. What kind of s*** is that to have kids see? What kind of person would do that?

Listen up - any man who would take another man's wife is not a man at all. I don't care if she inserts you into her while singing 'God Save the Queen'. If you are a man, you will recognize a low quality woman (or one with mental issues) and walk away. My wife was a beautiful woman, great lover, fantastic mother, daughter, sister - all of it. She traded it in for cheap laughs.

But that's not the reason men (or women) don't take another's spouse. Its because of the collateral damage to children, family and friends. No amount of or quality of sex is worth that. If your own short-term pleasure means that much, you've got problems. Unless you truly beleive that its all and only about you (that makes you a narcissist by the way), you walk.

If another notch in your belt is that important, you're just a wanker.

Tell your friend to get her out of the house and away from the kids. It can be done. I did it and under very adverse laws (New Jersey/USA). Tell him to focus on being a good father and a good man. He no longer needs to worry about being a good husband. Tell him to turn 180 degrees from 'her' and keep walking. He needs to do this for himself and his children.

Divorce is expensive because its worth it.

Kick ass, take names, no prisoners,
Tictac
Look man, get the fubk off of me, I didn't do anything on purpose. She told me she was divorced that they were living apart and that he already signed the papers. Sometimes we just don't know man. Look man, I didn't do anything man. They LIE.
 

ElChoclo

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A man's manliness isn't to be judged by his height, whether he provides well and likes UFC or whether he is an athlete or not. This fellow is going to find out the hard way, that divorce with young children, is the nastiest divorce of all. 17 long years before that youngest kid is 18.

In most jurisdictions he can just keep on paying, business as usual, although he won't be getting any home cooking or his laundry done anymore. Then he can drag his big athletic, somewhat reduced disposable income earning carcass to a bar or nightclub and start over again. A very enticing prospect. As they say, a man who can't control his woman is amusing.
 

Tictac

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trent81 said:
Look man, get the fubk off of me, I didn't do anything on purpose. She told me she was divorced that they were living apart and that he already signed the papers. Sometimes we just don't know man. Look man, I didn't do anything man. They LIE.
Trent81,
If you didn't know because you were lied to that's different. No offense intended.
 

Tictac

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jophil28 said:
Let me ask you a question.

What was/is the longevity, quality and status of her parents' marriage ?
Jophil,
Her Mom and Dad were married 50 years before he died from cancer. It was a great marriage. I saw 25 years of it.

Tictac
 

Tictac

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ElChoclo said:
As they say, a man who can't control his woman is amusing.
It sounds so macho. But ultimately, you never control other people. No one is anyone exempt from 'black swans' ("impossibly" low probability events). Its best to recognize that the universe is simply indifferent to us.

Its what you do when things go wrong that say the most about you. Without standards, values and expectations and the behavior that shows you they are real, you will simply be blown about by events and the whims of other people.

Tictac
 
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