match.com messed up scenario, should i ignore?

[pete101]

i haven't been having any luck with match.com so i never bothered to get a subscription cos i've heard bad things about it's rolling subscription.

i winked at this woman on there who was looking for my ethnicity specifically and she winked back and sent me a msg. i couldn't read her msg cos i didnt have a subscription so i left clues in my profile for her to contact me but she didn't seem to get it. i found on some other chat site and same username so i msg'd her there even tho i wasn't sure it was her.

i basically kept sending her test invites msgs from match cos that's the only thing i could do without a subscription, she kept sending me back msgs which i couldn't read.

anyway what i didnt realise was that on the other site she had already sent me a msg with her email so she must have been confused why after 3 weeks i hadn't sent her an email.

i f'd up, cos once i finally saw the email i got over excited and sent her some long stupid msg apologizing for sending so many test invite msgs etc.. just way way too long for a first email.

no response. a few days later i shot her a quick short email telling her to come meet me that day (we live in the exact same area) for cofffee. no response.

that was a week ago, so i wasn't sure if she got the email or not so i shot her an email yesterday asking if she got it cos i hadn't had a reply from her yet.

she is smoking hot with fake boobs long legs etc and the fact she was into my ethnicity i got way too excited and major afc stalkerished up.

she responded today with:

hey. i got your email...thanks, sorry didnt reply to you sooner, but had a stressful week.. not sure when im ready to meet up though. hopefully soon )

this screams of low IL and no interest right and also some BS of wanting me to chase her?

'hopefully soon )' she's tryna entice me to reply and keep chasing even though she's not interested?

 

[ApolloCreed]

All this for a random on match.com?

Your dating issues run much deeper than this particular scenario.

 

[pete101]

surprisingly i managed to turn it around.. at least i think i have.

i followed up with a c+f response, which caused her to reply favourably, then again suggesting we should talk before we meet.

she agreed. (i think she has had issues with weirdo stalkers from internet dating so is quite wary about meeting a stranger before she's spoke to them on the phone)

i got the number last monday by email (unfortunately i was really ill last week to the point where i completely lost my voice and was bed ridden)

i tried delaying responding but at the same time keeping the momentum going, striking while the irons hot if you will, my plan was to try to meet up the weekend that's just past (on the assumption i'd have gotten better by then)

so i emailed her on tues night saying i'd call her either thursday or friday last week (i didn't anticipate i'd still be so ill by then, but i was) and to look out for it.

come fri night at midnight i had to send her a text to say i couldn't call but for her not to worry cos i hadn't forgot about her and i was just really sick.. i dont like to give out flaky excuses even if it's true cos when we get them we're suspicious so they must be also, especially when the iron was still hot relatively speaking. i promised i'd call her in the next few days when i was better.

anyway she text me back to say 'no worries, get better soon ' i didn't respond to this, maybe i should have i duno.

fast forward to today, monday. i'm finally getting better so i decided to cal her just now, no pick up no answer. hmm...

it feels like the momentum has stopped through no fault of my own. i guess with internet dating you get one shot but can you prolong the momentum or keep that iron hot in some way or form?

i dont think me leaving it a few days since fri should be such an issue and in theory she should call me back. either way i need to act not desperate.

i'm p1ssed now about being ill, i did so well to get this one interested and i know if i got her on the phone last week i could have met her over the weekend. she's just tryna make sure i'm not a weirdo.

 

[Iceberg]

i'm p1ssed now about being ill, i did so well to get this one interested and i know if i got her on the phone last week i could have met her over the weekend. she's just tryna make sure i'm not a weirdo.

Well, yeah. Typically you don't want to offer to meet someone on the very first email you send to them.

It's best for you and for the female to evaluate the person with 2 or 3 emails before planning to hang. This is especially true for females.

 

[DonJuanabe]

You reek of neediness and desperation. Lots of it. Even if you do meet her nothing will come of it because she will get a whiff of the stench (assuming she hasn't already which I doubt) and never want to see you again. I suggest going ghost.

 

[Zarky]

Contact 2 dozen other women.

 

[the_stig]

You reek of neediness and desperation. Lots of it. Even if you do meet her nothing will come of it because she will get a whiff of the stench (assuming she hasn't already which I doubt) and never want to see you again. I suggest going ghost.

Aside from this, I'd write her off just for being on multiple dating sites. An attention wh0re to the extreme who uses online dating as nothing more than food for her ego.

 

[Young Stallion]

Yeah this thread reeks of desperation.

Do yourself a favour:

Get off match.com and do the following immediately:
1. Work Out
2. Read 6 or 7 books on confidence and people skills and bodylanguage

 

[DonJuanabe]

3. Stop giving a f*ck about what you think a woman is thinking.

 

[pete101]

she called me back.. i tried to prime myself for a phone call being quick and to the point to set up a date.

it started off with her not sure whether i was a real person or not cos of my behavior on there.. once that was out of the way i talked for a bit then suggested we get together wednesday evening.

she says 'we'll talk tomorrow to confirm' i was like ? she was like 'it's not you it's in general i haven't been in a mood lately to meet anybody even my friends.. i want to see how i feel tomorrow' she then goes on to say how 'i'm worried you may not like me..' i was thinking wtf? then prob did the afc thing of validating her saying 'no no it's fine if you look like your pics then there's no reason i wouldn't like you.'

i was thinking.. great.. another flakey girl, she's judging potential chemistry on the phone and this was after 15-20min convo.. i felt like i had to talk more cos im a complete stranger.

i decided i needed to build more rapport so talked more.. but didn't really make any more headway tbh, i tried being c+f at points but it felt too friendzoned.

obviously im not gona bother confirming with her tomorrow for wednesday.. even after an hour of talking i said again 'ok so meet me at 8pm in..' she goes 'we'll talk tomorrow'

i go 'ok' then hang up on her.

i think the best move would be just not to bother to confirm or contact her at all for wednesday right?

she's spoilt, used to gettign what she wants, cancellign last min etc etc.. these rich girls are very annoying to date. im better off calling her off the cuff and setting up an immediate date if she's going to be flaky.

she should be excited to see me, not have to confirm to see if she 'feels' like she wants to meet up.. none of it makes sense, me just contacting her tomorrow to confirm is doing nothing but validate her.

should i just wait and see if she'll contact me after?

 

[Iceberg]

should i just wait and see if she'll contact me after?

Some chick you've never met, been stressing over for weeks, and have written several novel-sized posts about?

Yeah, I think you should continue putting effort into this girl. It'll be worth it.

 

[DonJuanabe]

You've never met her but read her profile and looked at some pics. Anything and everything you think she is is nothing more than a combo of your imagination and your lack of self-esteem. Additionally, by allowing her to be in charge and literally put your life on hold you've lowered her interest level. You simply should have said "That's cool, if you're not interested in making plans with me tonight we can do it some other time, I've got something else to line up for tomorrow so I'll talk with you next week perhaps." This way you don't waste your time and you raise her interest level. If she WANTS to meet you she will not play this b*ll**** wait and see crap. Do you want to hang out with a girl who WANTS to hang out with you or one who DOESN'T want to hang out with you??? It's a simple question that requires a simple answer.