Masculine & Feminine Energy

[The Duke]

Excellent summary of the key elements between the two. The more a man understands the differences between himself and a woman, the more successful he will be in a long term relationship.

 

[RickPound]

Quality share. Do you believe the success is in “speaking the language” to relate with the feminine energy? Or leaning into the natural masculine to attract and polarize?

For example, I’ve noticed when women complain or express their feelings, I have a lot more success in just listening and encouraging them rather than solving the problem or giving rational answers. But this is not the masculine impulse.

 

[Barrister]

And one of the main problems with our society these days is that most men's masculine energy is now considered "toxic." It is suppressed and society wants us to feel that it is "wrong" to have a lot of these qualities. Further, we are told men and women are equal and the same. When in fact it isn't remotely true and our biochemistry hard-wires us to be different. That difference should be celebrated; instead it is seen as a huge problem.

 

[The Duke]

Quality share. Do you believe the success is in “speaking the language” to relate with the feminine energy? Or leaning into the natural masculine to attract and polarize?

For example, I’ve noticed when women complain or express their feelings, I have a lot more success in just listening and encouraging them rather than solving the problem or giving rational answers. But this is not the masculine impulse.

I think its two-fold and depends on the situation.

Exactly as you stated, its best to just listen instead of solve their problems or address rationally...Best way to diffuse them. This type of behavior certainly goes against masculine energy, in fact its straight up feminine behavior but in the end its what works. I have struggled with this. Thats why I think men are superior in many ways and women are like children. If women were "adult" as they thought they would reel in their emotional hamster, and use their rational brain and solve their damn problems. It makes me wonder how therapists even get thru to women. I'm not sure they really do. When I read the book "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" it left me with the same impression. So yes as much as I hate to admit, there are times a man has to step into his feminine energy.

When it comes to creating attraction and keeping a woman attracted, a man definitely needs to exhibit masculine energy. He needs to have direction, focus, purpose, up to the challenge, stoicism, awareness, etc.

I think society has always put more of the burden on men and often catered to women. What we are seeing now is men who don't have masculine energy and the women are complaining about it. But the flipside is Masculine men aren't willing to commit to a woman with masculine energy. Many women have had to do life on their own and doing so took some masculine energy on their part to ensure their emotional and financial security. I'm sure @BeExcellent could relate by the stories she has told. My last girlfriend had to do it and its mostly because of the feminine men she had in her life. It definitely tempers some of the feminine energy in a female when they have to live like men.

 

[Stuffnu]

Howver nowadays, these differences are masculine energy and male thirst.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

 

[Manure Spherian]

View attachment 12460

That’s a good graphic. I will not moralize in this forum but I think it’s worth noting that a society that is designed for most people to have what’s on the left in this graphic is antithetical to a society that allows what’s on the right, which is one that has tolerance for plate spinning and game.

It appears many men cannot make up their mind. They want what’s on the right of the graphic but then complain of the unhinged, lunatic women it produces, all for coomshots with them at any cost.

 

[LTG71]

Quality share. Do you believe the success is in “speaking the language” to relate with the feminine energy? Or leaning into the natural masculine to attract and polarize?

For example, I’ve noticed when women complain or express their feelings, I have a lot more success in just listening and encouraging them rather than solving the problem or giving rational answers. But this is not the masculine impulse.

Surprised this has not been taken down for being “offensive” to women, lol. Just listen and stop trying to fix their problems. I think that’s what most therapists do and get paid a lot for it. Men generally don’t go to therapist because we are conditioned to be self reliant and solve our own problems. We don’t want to talk about things forever, we want solutions. I know a woman that went to therapy for years and would not listen to my suggestions. When the therapist told her the same thing, she would agree. Insert face palm. Should have charged her by the hour to listen.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

The most you should hope for with feminine energy is wisdom, common sense and a curious mind. As long as she understands the basic gist of what you're saying and has some semblance of an opinion about it, that's good enough.

For a while now I been tacking on a woman’s feminine “bandwidth” to the taste in music she listens to.
An appreciation for soulful, old school throwbacks indicates a bit of maturity, spiritual station in life and that she is not a slave to cultural fads.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think its two-fold and depends on the situation.

Exactly as you stated, its best to just listen instead of solve their problems or address rationally...Best way to diffuse them. This type of behavior certainly goes against masculine energy, in fact its straight up feminine behavior but in the end its what works. I have struggled with this. Thats why I think men are superior in many ways and women are like children. If women were "adult" as they thought they would reel in their emotional hamster, and use their rational brain and solve their damn problems. It makes me wonder how therapists even get thru to women. I'm not sure they really do. When I read the book "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" it left me with the same impression. So yes as much as I hate to admit, there are times a man has to step into his feminine energy.

When it comes to creating attraction and keeping a woman attracted, a man definitely needs to exhibit masculine energy. He needs to have direction, focus, purpose, up to the challenge, stoicism, awareness, etc.

I think society has always put more of the burden on men and often catered to women. What we are seeing now is men who don't have masculine energy and the women are complaining about it. But the flipside is Masculine men aren't willing to commit to a woman with masculine energy. Many women have had to do life on their own and doing so took some masculine energy on their part to ensure their emotional and financial security. I'm sure @BeExcellent could relate by the stories she has told. My last girlfriend had to do it and its mostly because of the feminine men she had in her life. It definitely tempers some of the feminine energy in a female when they have to live like men.

Apologies for being a little tardy to the discussion.

You know I had a lot of garbage to unlearn because my mother raised my sisters and I to be self reliant independent women, and my father raised us to be ladies, wives and mothers. The philosophical conflict therein should be self evident. My parents met in law school, both held JDs and were both legal professionals although my father was the high powered attorney. He insisted that my mother quit her Federal traveling position at OEO (male dominated in the 1960s) and become a SAHM. She resented him for requiring her to give up her career.

She wanted us to be able to fend for ourselves and not be dependent on a man....but she didn't understand the value of feminine energy. All my female relatives on my father's side were great wives and mothers as well as valuable marriage partners the men loved and held in high esteem. My parents were the only divorce in my entire extended family. Thankfully I had good examples outside my mother within my own family and also saw it in parents of my friends. The successfully married women knew something my mother didn't know, and relaxed into the leadership a solid man provides.

As much as you guys criticize male/female friendships it was really through my male friends that I learned the power of feminine energy. You see I was a tomboy and could play ball & talk guns, cars, hunting & fishing & sports.....but that wasn't what the guys found attractive in a girl. It was "girl stuff". I had girlfriends in college who educated me about "girl stuff" and I was already naturally very pretty, polite and poised, so I adapted. I had to not be such a tomboy, I learned.

In business I knew how to excel, was smart and ambitious, taught to go after what I want. But strangely that didn't work with men. I couldn't be direct and say "Gee, I really like you...."

That was desperate. It was masculine energy. It ran off masculine guys. I could do that in business, but not with men I liked. So I had to learn the game in college. Thank God for my college girlfriends. They taught me what I hadn't learned at home. Lots of women with sensible feminine mothers grew up with a natural understanding of being feminine. I had to learn it much later and it seemed strange to me at first. But I learned.

I learned to compartmentalize and read social situations very well. I knew when to talk business or baseball & when to smile & twirl my hair. I became as much a student of game as you guys are. I was beautiful so that meant men were very interested in me anyway, but once I learned to embrace being female, then well that was the missing link.

The game fascinates me. In large measure because I had to learn it later in life than many women & in some ways I remain the tomboy who wants to hang out with the guys in the treehouse & build forts & play ball.

Quite the ramble. Now I recognize the importance of masculine/feminine polarity. Something my mother railed against & my father didn't explain. My grandmother knew. She taught us a lot in the time we had with her.

And I do my level best to teach my children. Even in this crazy gender bender world young people have to navigate. Its terribly important and gets overlooked.

 

[Plinco]

Masculinity = Effective control of one's environment
Femininity = Admiration of what controls the environment

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would also add that being able to make decisions and go with it is a masculine thing. No woman wants to be on a first date with a guy unsure where he wants to go or if he asks her permission to go somewhere on a date...she wants a guy who leads and tells her where to meet and what time once he gets her availability.

When you walk into a place don't act uncertain of where to go...find a spot and go there. She will follow. That's how you immediately let her mind know you are a leader and not some wimpy dude who needs more time to make a decision than any of her girlfriends do when it comes to picking out what to wear.

Subtle but important ways to set the tone for what she can expect from you and it helps her relax because it's one check mark she already checks off in her mind before you even sit down on date 1.

 

[Bokanovsky]

When it comes to creating attraction and keeping a woman attracted, a man definitely needs to exhibit masculine energy. He needs to have direction, focus, purpose, up to the challenge, stoicism, awareness, etc.

This is certainly the traditional (and somewhat romanticized) view of masculinity but I don't know how much it applies to contemporary society. I know men who lack many of the things on that list and still do quite well with women. I also know men who embody all of those qualities and yet they struggle.

At the end of the day, attraction is really a product of two things: your looks and social skills (i.e. knowing how to talk to women). Every man who struggles with women lacks in one or both of those departments.

 

[zekko]

The only problem I have with the summary is this: Where within the masculine energy definition is there room for why men desire women?