Hello all. This is my first real post here and I want to start a Field Report Journal. For a bit of background I’m 20 and I’ve recently been getting into the whole club approaching scene and it has gone quite well. I’ve number closed a few times at the club and am somewhat happy with my approaches. I think that I’ve killed approach anxiety in clubs for the most part but I really want to get better at day game since I’m at University everyday and I see so many good opportunities pass me by. The problem with day game though is that it scares me a hell of a lot more than night game; reason being is that it seems to diverge from the social norm: girls at least expect to be approached at the club. Anyways so I’m posting this now just so I don’t chicken out tomorrow and at least have one FR to post. I don’t think that one well thought out approach a day is too much to do, at least to start. See you all soon!
Mars - Approach Journal
- Thread starter Mars
- Start date
Hey sorry this took so long to put up I’ve been busy and it’s not exactly in the format that I would like it to be in. In the future I hope to make it more dialogue orientated. Frankly I just wait too long to write these down and forget the majority of the back and forth dialogue. I’m stealing PHAT’s “Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 7” system since it’s awesome and very easily shows how well the approach went.
Club -
Rating: 8; 2 set: HB 7 + HB 6
This one went well. Of course it was at a club so my training wheels were still on so to speak. I had done a few approaches this night but this is the only one worth noting. I had never opened a two set before but I adhered to the ‘3 second rule’ and it went pretty well. My opener was: “Hey! How come you aren’t all dressed up in costumes” (as I had approached I noticed that a few people were wearing this sort of Hawaiian shirts and garland.) Anyways I only ended up talking to both of them for like five minutes and I number closed HB 7.
UPDATE: I’ve been on one date with her but we’re both busy and it has only been one although she does seem to text me everyday and now she is the one initiating all texting. I’ll try to go out with her on the weekend.
Bus -
Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 8
A failure, my first cold approach took far too long. Nevertheless I did it at the last possible moment too, right on the bus I feigned asking the girl where the bus went and tried to start up a conversation from there. It was awkward at first but eventually fought through it and managed a decent conversation. Didn’t even think about asking for her number!
Mall Bus Terminal -
Rating: 2; 1 set: HB 7
On my way home near the bus loop, I approached the most unlikely girl ever. Very scene, very interesting style, I asked her what bus she was waiting for. Commented on the coldness of the day and asked her if she was headed home from school, she mumbled something and the conversation kind of broke off as I misheard her thinking she was going to work but turns out it was a friend’s house. Yeah, after that I kind of stopped talking haha!
University Hallway -
Rating: 6; 1 set: HB 9
I was walking out of the library and I saw this extremely attractive girl, I just loved the glasses she was wearing. Anyways, I saw her sit on the bench outside the lecture theatres. I decided that if she was still there by the time I went and came out of the washroom that I would force myself to go and talk to her, she of course was. I had no choice, I promised myself. I went there, I read the bulletin board and just randomly picked up a newspaper and looked through it, didn’t waste much time got to the point. Opened asking her if she knew which class was going on in there, she said that she had no idea and was waiting for her sister. We actually had a pretty decent conversation despite the brevity of the whole damn thing. “It was nice talking to you” was how it ended. I’m glad I approached, kind of made hot girls, or at least girls I find hot not so unattainable. Afterwards I spoke to someone I knew from high school who had just showed up.
Club -
Rating: 8; 2 set: HB 7 + HB 6
This one went well. Of course it was at a club so my training wheels were still on so to speak. I had done a few approaches this night but this is the only one worth noting. I had never opened a two set before but I adhered to the ‘3 second rule’ and it went pretty well. My opener was: “Hey! How come you aren’t all dressed up in costumes” (as I had approached I noticed that a few people were wearing this sort of Hawaiian shirts and garland.) Anyways I only ended up talking to both of them for like five minutes and I number closed HB 7.
UPDATE: I’ve been on one date with her but we’re both busy and it has only been one although she does seem to text me everyday and now she is the one initiating all texting. I’ll try to go out with her on the weekend.
Bus -
Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 8
A failure, my first cold approach took far too long. Nevertheless I did it at the last possible moment too, right on the bus I feigned asking the girl where the bus went and tried to start up a conversation from there. It was awkward at first but eventually fought through it and managed a decent conversation. Didn’t even think about asking for her number!
Mall Bus Terminal -
Rating: 2; 1 set: HB 7
On my way home near the bus loop, I approached the most unlikely girl ever. Very scene, very interesting style, I asked her what bus she was waiting for. Commented on the coldness of the day and asked her if she was headed home from school, she mumbled something and the conversation kind of broke off as I misheard her thinking she was going to work but turns out it was a friend’s house. Yeah, after that I kind of stopped talking haha!
University Hallway -
Rating: 6; 1 set: HB 9
I was walking out of the library and I saw this extremely attractive girl, I just loved the glasses she was wearing. Anyways, I saw her sit on the bench outside the lecture theatres. I decided that if she was still there by the time I went and came out of the washroom that I would force myself to go and talk to her, she of course was. I had no choice, I promised myself. I went there, I read the bulletin board and just randomly picked up a newspaper and looked through it, didn’t waste much time got to the point. Opened asking her if she knew which class was going on in there, she said that she had no idea and was waiting for her sister. We actually had a pretty decent conversation despite the brevity of the whole damn thing. “It was nice talking to you” was how it ended. I’m glad I approached, kind of made hot girls, or at least girls I find hot not so unattainable. Afterwards I spoke to someone I knew from high school who had just showed up.
University Bus Terminal -
Rating: 6; 1 set: HB 6
Anyways I then proceeded to get to the bus loop and try to get home for the day. I opened up to a girl who I didn’t find attractive at all, ok well maybe a little, but not one I would of regretted not approaching if that make sense. Well anyways, I opened up with “only five more minutes to wait”, I went out on a limb and assumed that we were waiting for the same bus, we were and we had a really long conversation. I did not number close, although I have confidence that I probably could have. I introduced myself to her as I was getting off the bus and told her that I’d see her around campus. I’ll have to start getting away from these bus approaches, but I suppose it’s a natural ground to start, nevertheless I feel like I’m shooting myself in the foot by putting myself in a situation with no out at all.
UPDATE: Ran into her today and we briefly talked but we were both in a hurry for class.
Club -
Rating: 6; 2 set: HB 7 + HB 7
This one is interesting because I actually did it with a wing. Let’s call him Chris. We went in for the approach but because the music was so loud it was not so much a four way conversation as it was just both of us handling a conversation with one girl each. I opened with: “You should be very flattered that we came to talk to you girls since this is the loudest place in the whole damn bar
” (we were right beside the speakers but were still able to hear well enough). Probably talked for about five or ten minutes, but Chris’ girl looked at my HB 7 and told her that they had to go dance now. So they both ejected but said that they would be around. Basically I never saw them again that night.
So like I said in my next entry I’ll try to be a little more explicit on how the conversation exactly went. I know the more dialogue I give the more help I can get from you guys. I’ll try to pump out another report fairly soon.
Rating: 6; 1 set: HB 6
Anyways I then proceeded to get to the bus loop and try to get home for the day. I opened up to a girl who I didn’t find attractive at all, ok well maybe a little, but not one I would of regretted not approaching if that make sense. Well anyways, I opened up with “only five more minutes to wait”, I went out on a limb and assumed that we were waiting for the same bus, we were and we had a really long conversation. I did not number close, although I have confidence that I probably could have. I introduced myself to her as I was getting off the bus and told her that I’d see her around campus. I’ll have to start getting away from these bus approaches, but I suppose it’s a natural ground to start, nevertheless I feel like I’m shooting myself in the foot by putting myself in a situation with no out at all.
UPDATE: Ran into her today and we briefly talked but we were both in a hurry for class.
Club -
Rating: 6; 2 set: HB 7 + HB 7
This one is interesting because I actually did it with a wing. Let’s call him Chris. We went in for the approach but because the music was so loud it was not so much a four way conversation as it was just both of us handling a conversation with one girl each. I opened with: “You should be very flattered that we came to talk to you girls since this is the loudest place in the whole damn bar
” (we were right beside the speakers but were still able to hear well enough). Probably talked for about five or ten minutes, but Chris’ girl looked at my HB 7 and told her that they had to go dance now. So they both ejected but said that they would be around. Basically I never saw them again that night.So like I said in my next entry I’ll try to be a little more explicit on how the conversation exactly went. I know the more dialogue I give the more help I can get from you guys. I’ll try to pump out another report fairly soon.
EvilAgenda
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2009
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This is awesome!!!! Keep going bro!!! Interesting material,,and inspiring too.
Just did one today sadly. I ejected way too fast but I had kind of forced myself into a corner, anyways...
University Hallway -
Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 7.5
Me: "Excuse me, were you just in this class?"
HB 7.5: "No but I'm I was just waiting for my friend who was"
Me: "Oh ok I was looking for my friend who's in a class in this building, do you know which one this is?" (a total lie, well not really but I know for a fact that she always skips class)
...
We go on to talk about the class for a bit and the building that we're in but I kind of spoke myself into a corner saying that I was searching for someone. I had to eject before I could say anything of substance, what a pathetic approach! She had a friendly demeanor the whole time but who wouldn't? I got to be more direct I think? I'm just afraid of being perceived as a PUA (or whatever comes before that) since it's becoming more mainstream these days. I should be going out tonight and I'll post some more later.
University Hallway -
Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 7.5
Me: "Excuse me, were you just in this class?"
HB 7.5: "No but I'm I was just waiting for my friend who was"
Me: "Oh ok I was looking for my friend who's in a class in this building, do you know which one this is?" (a total lie, well not really but I know for a fact that she always skips class)
...
We go on to talk about the class for a bit and the building that we're in but I kind of spoke myself into a corner saying that I was searching for someone. I had to eject before I could say anything of substance, what a pathetic approach! She had a friendly demeanor the whole time but who wouldn't? I got to be more direct I think? I'm just afraid of being perceived as a PUA (or whatever comes before that) since it's becoming more mainstream these days. I should be going out tonight and I'll post some more later.
Hey PHAT thanks for the advice I think I was actually able to apply it today. On that note here are my two cold approaches for the day...
University Bookstore -
Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 6.5
I was waiting for my friend Kyle as we were both determined to finally get started on doing some cold approaches at school today. To kill some time I was just browsing the bookstore and I noticed an average girl checking out the birthday card section. So I made my way down to that area and started to riffle through them myself. After about 40 seconds of reading random cards...
Me: "So, who do you need to get a card for?"
HB 6.5: "For my sister's birthday"
Me: "Oh, are you going to get her one of those dirty cards (alluding of course to the ones with the male strippers/models on them), but that does of course depend on how old she's turning".
HB 6.5: " [laughs] oh she's turning 19... blahblah"
Our conversation breaks off for a second, I allow the pause. Eventually she asks me who I'm getting my card for. I lied and said my father, his birthday's in April so close enough. Anyways after talking a bit more I eventually ejected as I couldn't really see it going anywhere. I was just pleased that she broke the silence by asking me a question.
University Hallway-
Rating: 7; 1 set: HB 7
Anyways met up with Kyle after wards and told him about my card approach. We made our way to another building. Here we were determined to do some cold approaches, but he had arrived to school later than he thought he would so we didn’t have much time to spare. We were delayed for five minutes by one of his male friends in a class but he ejected from this as fast as he could. We made our way through the hallways to get to the cafeteria area of the building just so we actually had a destination, on the way we saw lots of HBs just kind of sitting by themselves in the hallways waiting for their classes to start. This was optimal time as the class transition was about fifteen minutes away so everyone was just sitting around bored in the hallways. Anyways as soon as we get down I ask him if he was interested on making his way back and approaching anyone, he declines so I agreed to go at least give it a shot. I saw a girl to my left just sitting on a bench without earphones on (something which I see far too many chicks sport these days). I try for a similar approach as the other time…
Me: "Excuse me; were you just in this class?"
HB 7: "No I’m just waiting for my class down the hall to start"
Me: “Oh, yeah I was just trying to figure out which class was going on here because I think my friend has one in this area. So what class do you have next?”
HB 7: “Stats”
Me: “Oh that sounds hard, you must be amazing at math.”
HB 7: “Haha, not really”
Me: “I’m sure you’re better than me, I’m like in the easiest math imaginable”
HB 7: “Oh yeah? What class is that?”
….
[I tell her about my math class, we talk some more about classes and different degrees and stuff. We banter for maybe about 4 to 5 minutes just about school and stuff. It’s going pretty well; I found out she was a second year student.]
Anyways, at the start of the conversation I had lied about having a friend who’s class was in the area but it turned out to be true and kind of messed up my approach. As I’m talking to her I see an acquaintance from one of my old classes and she starts talking and asking me questions about my current classes essentially ruining my tenuous conversation I was having with this girl whose name I didn’t even know! While all this is happening I remembered that Kyle, who has a class soon, is still waiting for me back in the cafeteria anyways I excuse myself from both ladies… Saying to the acquaintance that I’d see her later and to HB 7 that it was nice talking to her. Had I been more skilled I could have just made this all meld into one conversation. Judging from the dialogue that I posted it doesn't seem like it went all that well but you must believe me when I say that she was generating interest, as it happens though interest usually builds as the conversation goes and not at the beginning when she's still wondering why I'm talking to her. I’m looking forward to St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow, hopefully I will have some more stuff to post.
I just wanted to also mention that my goal is to not do hundreds of day approaches nor is it to ask each of these girls for their numbers. I don't want to be "that guy" at the university who gets a restraining order on him for talking to anything that moves. But I definitely should be asking for more numbers, especially if the conversation lasts more than five minutes and the interest seems to be there.
University Bookstore -
Rating: 4; 1 set: HB 6.5
I was waiting for my friend Kyle as we were both determined to finally get started on doing some cold approaches at school today. To kill some time I was just browsing the bookstore and I noticed an average girl checking out the birthday card section. So I made my way down to that area and started to riffle through them myself. After about 40 seconds of reading random cards...
Me: "So, who do you need to get a card for?"
HB 6.5: "For my sister's birthday"
Me: "Oh, are you going to get her one of those dirty cards (alluding of course to the ones with the male strippers/models on them), but that does of course depend on how old she's turning
".HB 6.5: " [laughs] oh she's turning 19... blahblah"
Our conversation breaks off for a second, I allow the pause. Eventually she asks me who I'm getting my card for. I lied and said my father, his birthday's in April so close enough. Anyways after talking a bit more I eventually ejected as I couldn't really see it going anywhere. I was just pleased that she broke the silence by asking me a question.
University Hallway-
Rating: 7; 1 set: HB 7
Anyways met up with Kyle after wards and told him about my card approach. We made our way to another building. Here we were determined to do some cold approaches, but he had arrived to school later than he thought he would so we didn’t have much time to spare. We were delayed for five minutes by one of his male friends in a class but he ejected from this as fast as he could. We made our way through the hallways to get to the cafeteria area of the building just so we actually had a destination, on the way we saw lots of HBs just kind of sitting by themselves in the hallways waiting for their classes to start. This was optimal time as the class transition was about fifteen minutes away so everyone was just sitting around bored in the hallways. Anyways as soon as we get down I ask him if he was interested on making his way back and approaching anyone, he declines so I agreed to go at least give it a shot. I saw a girl to my left just sitting on a bench without earphones on (something which I see far too many chicks sport these days). I try for a similar approach as the other time…
Me: "Excuse me; were you just in this class?"
HB 7: "No I’m just waiting for my class down the hall to start"
Me: “Oh, yeah I was just trying to figure out which class was going on here because I think my friend has one in this area. So what class do you have next?”
HB 7: “Stats”
Me: “Oh that sounds hard, you must be amazing at math.”
HB 7: “Haha, not really”
Me: “I’m sure you’re better than me, I’m like in the easiest math imaginable”
HB 7: “Oh yeah? What class is that?”
….
[I tell her about my math class, we talk some more about classes and different degrees and stuff. We banter for maybe about 4 to 5 minutes just about school and stuff. It’s going pretty well; I found out she was a second year student.]
Anyways, at the start of the conversation I had lied about having a friend who’s class was in the area but it turned out to be true and kind of messed up my approach. As I’m talking to her I see an acquaintance from one of my old classes and she starts talking and asking me questions about my current classes essentially ruining my tenuous conversation I was having with this girl whose name I didn’t even know! While all this is happening I remembered that Kyle, who has a class soon, is still waiting for me back in the cafeteria anyways I excuse myself from both ladies… Saying to the acquaintance that I’d see her later and to HB 7 that it was nice talking to her. Had I been more skilled I could have just made this all meld into one conversation. Judging from the dialogue that I posted it doesn't seem like it went all that well but you must believe me when I say that she was generating interest, as it happens though interest usually builds as the conversation goes and not at the beginning when she's still wondering why I'm talking to her. I’m looking forward to St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow, hopefully I will have some more stuff to post.
I just wanted to also mention that my goal is to not do hundreds of day approaches nor is it to ask each of these girls for their numbers. I don't want to be "that guy" at the university who gets a restraining order on him for talking to anything that moves. But I definitely should be asking for more numbers, especially if the conversation lasts more than five minutes and the interest seems to be there.
good stuff. Just to reinforce what you said, try to close whenever you feel the vibe, if only for practice's sake. Also, don't be afraid to shift away from the school related talk after you get a little conversation going. Or you can guide the conversation away from school subtlely in a way that is not noticeable
Hey guys thanks for the advice. Definitely true to keep doing at least a couple of approaches a day. I have been approaching like mad this past week. Unfortunately it took me far too long to get this update, finally on a Sunday, when nothings really open anyways, I have time to type them out.
There was a St. Patrick’s Day setup thing on campus. Basically there was Rockband setup on stage and they were giving out free energy drinks and such. I saw this as the perfect opener; a lot of people were just standing around watching people play Rockband or whatever.
University Main Building -
My first approach was a girl who was sitting by herself at a table in the food court/lunch area section. This one seemed the least likely to work since she was sitting and I was walking but it turned out to be the best one that day. I just opened with: “hey have you tried one of these energy drinks yet?” (As I was holding one in my hand). We had a nice five-seven minute conversation; she even introduced herself to me. I could have, I swear, I could have gotten her number but I’m just a *****. She was very receptive and was asking me questions, I noticed my hand was trembling when I first started talking to her, might have been the caffeine from the energy drink… yes let’s say that’s what it was
I eventually ejected the set and found my week, very proud but still disappointed on my first approach that day. I’m starting to like the main building on campus for approaching as it’s more social and there is usually an event going on.
University Main Building -
I did two more that day. One, the girl was very quiet but I was just chatting her up about the game she was playing (there were some kiosks setup, guess it came with the whole Rockband/energy drink thing). She asked me if I wanted to play but the other controller didn’t work. Overall she didn’t seem very receptive. I also talked to another girl who was waiting for her friend, our conversation was going okay but I wasn’t really feeling much of a vibe. After about five minutes her friend came and I ejected.
I went out that night for St. Patrick’s Day but oddly enough did no approaches? I have no idea why, I guess there were more guys in the pub than girls plus I was too drunk.
The next day I was really hung over but I managed three approaches somehow, no idea how.
University Main Building -
I had two five minute conversations with two different girls here using the same opener as the day before as it was still setup but sadly after five minutes both kind of walked away from me which is kind of discouraging. The first one was already wearing her coat so I guess she was about to go, the second one was eating a bagel and when she was done she sort of packed it up and left. Both times I didn’t ask for the number. Both conversations went roughly the same with good back and forth. I don’t use sets, routines or opinion openers.
University Coffee Shop
This is the one I’m most proud of even though it’s probably the same five minute length as the other ones. The reason I’m so proud is because it was the hardest set to do. I was having coffee with my two wings and as we were packing up to leave I told them to go ahead without me. There was a girl across the room who was alone and studying on her laptop who I had noticed maybe looking my way, not sure, anyways I had to approach her but I was at a loss for openers so here’s what I said: “Hey, I noticed you have an HP laptop and I was wondering how the battery life on that thing is since I was thinking of buying one from that company” (or something to that extant). I guess that’s an opinion opener? Well either way lol, I tried to move the conversation away from my crappy opener as fast as I possibly could. And I did manage this, she seemed really surprised to be approached but we managed a decent conversation. I think I ejected too early, I usually do at the first sign of discomfort.
Club-
The other night I went to the bar and I don’t even really want to talk about it because I’m still pissed off about how much I screwed up. I met this girl who’s number I should have gotten (hmm I think I’m starting to identify my sticking point). I saw her and her three friends at the table texting:
ME: “Hey, is this the texting table? Can I join you? (holding my phone”
HB 8: “blah blah” we talk about phones for a bit, compares phones. We talk about how loud it is.
I can only hear like 50% of the words she’s saying to me. SO I decide to eject because I’m having a damn hard time trying to maintain this fragmented conversation. As I try to leave she says: “No wait, let me come with you.” I said “sure, it’s much quieter over there”. She follows me to the other end of the club and as soon as we get to the quieter side she says to me: “I should really go back, I don’t want to lose track of my friends”. I said “sure that’s fine”. Then she puts her hand on my shoulder and says “I’ll remember what you look like”. I introduced myself and so did she and I just said: “I’ll come find you before I go” (assuming I would get her number then) Of course I come back half an hour later and I can’t find her at all… ugh this is very discouraging, I should have just gotten it then. The bar was packed I don’t know what I was thinking trying to find her later on.
At the same bar I had about a ten minute conversation with another girl who was looking for her friends. I tried to get her number but she ended up just asking for email instead… so giving a girl my email is the supposed success of the night.
There was a St. Patrick’s Day setup thing on campus. Basically there was Rockband setup on stage and they were giving out free energy drinks and such. I saw this as the perfect opener; a lot of people were just standing around watching people play Rockband or whatever.
University Main Building -
My first approach was a girl who was sitting by herself at a table in the food court/lunch area section. This one seemed the least likely to work since she was sitting and I was walking but it turned out to be the best one that day. I just opened with: “hey have you tried one of these energy drinks yet?” (As I was holding one in my hand). We had a nice five-seven minute conversation; she even introduced herself to me. I could have, I swear, I could have gotten her number but I’m just a *****. She was very receptive and was asking me questions, I noticed my hand was trembling when I first started talking to her, might have been the caffeine from the energy drink… yes let’s say that’s what it was
I eventually ejected the set and found my week, very proud but still disappointed on my first approach that day. I’m starting to like the main building on campus for approaching as it’s more social and there is usually an event going on.
University Main Building -
I did two more that day. One, the girl was very quiet but I was just chatting her up about the game she was playing (there were some kiosks setup, guess it came with the whole Rockband/energy drink thing). She asked me if I wanted to play but the other controller didn’t work. Overall she didn’t seem very receptive. I also talked to another girl who was waiting for her friend, our conversation was going okay but I wasn’t really feeling much of a vibe. After about five minutes her friend came and I ejected.
I went out that night for St. Patrick’s Day but oddly enough did no approaches? I have no idea why, I guess there were more guys in the pub than girls plus I was too drunk.
The next day I was really hung over but I managed three approaches somehow, no idea how.
University Main Building -
I had two five minute conversations with two different girls here using the same opener as the day before as it was still setup but sadly after five minutes both kind of walked away from me which is kind of discouraging. The first one was already wearing her coat so I guess she was about to go, the second one was eating a bagel and when she was done she sort of packed it up and left. Both times I didn’t ask for the number. Both conversations went roughly the same with good back and forth. I don’t use sets, routines or opinion openers.
University Coffee Shop
This is the one I’m most proud of even though it’s probably the same five minute length as the other ones. The reason I’m so proud is because it was the hardest set to do. I was having coffee with my two wings and as we were packing up to leave I told them to go ahead without me. There was a girl across the room who was alone and studying on her laptop who I had noticed maybe looking my way, not sure, anyways I had to approach her but I was at a loss for openers so here’s what I said: “Hey, I noticed you have an HP laptop and I was wondering how the battery life on that thing is since I was thinking of buying one from that company” (or something to that extant). I guess that’s an opinion opener? Well either way lol, I tried to move the conversation away from my crappy opener as fast as I possibly could. And I did manage this, she seemed really surprised to be approached but we managed a decent conversation. I think I ejected too early, I usually do at the first sign of discomfort.
Club-
The other night I went to the bar and I don’t even really want to talk about it because I’m still pissed off about how much I screwed up. I met this girl who’s number I should have gotten (hmm I think I’m starting to identify my sticking point). I saw her and her three friends at the table texting:
ME: “Hey, is this the texting table? Can I join you? (holding my phone”
HB 8: “blah blah” we talk about phones for a bit, compares phones. We talk about how loud it is.
I can only hear like 50% of the words she’s saying to me. SO I decide to eject because I’m having a damn hard time trying to maintain this fragmented conversation. As I try to leave she says: “No wait, let me come with you.” I said “sure, it’s much quieter over there”. She follows me to the other end of the club and as soon as we get to the quieter side she says to me: “I should really go back, I don’t want to lose track of my friends”. I said “sure that’s fine”. Then she puts her hand on my shoulder and says “I’ll remember what you look like”. I introduced myself and so did she and I just said: “I’ll come find you before I go” (assuming I would get her number then) Of course I come back half an hour later and I can’t find her at all… ugh this is very discouraging, I should have just gotten it then. The bar was packed I don’t know what I was thinking trying to find her later on.
At the same bar I had about a ten minute conversation with another girl who was looking for her friends. I tried to get her number but she ended up just asking for email instead… so giving a girl my email is the supposed success of the night.
Hmm, right deal. I'll number close tomorrow regardless of the awkwardness. Kind of like getting over Approach Anxiety I need to get over Number Anxiety. Good advice man because I have lost a few girls just because I have no practice number closing.
Okay as far as conversation goes it's pretty much about anything and it's pretty back and forth. I must say though it's pretty superficial chit chat and I'll give you some examples.
The girl at the bar who I gave my email to: We talked about who she was looking for, who she was with. Then we discussed the venue, how she hated running into old people form high school. Then we talked about high school, which part of the city we live in. We talked about some other clubs in town.
Girl in the University Coffee Shop: I had my laptop opener, we discussed her computer a bit and I mentioned how bad my laptop is since it's several years old and the battery pretty much dies right away if I unplug. Onto using a laptop to take notes in class vs. just using a pen and paper. Then onto more discussion about classes what we're both in. Talked about how I'm in the easy math class and how I have a big test coming up in a couple hours.
Overall I do try to go into some story telling aspects but it's never too long. And as you can see, the conversation is usually relevant to the location or at least to some extent. Thanks for your help Phat, reading your approach journal is really what has inspired me to go out and do some day game.
Okay as far as conversation goes it's pretty much about anything and it's pretty back and forth. I must say though it's pretty superficial chit chat and I'll give you some examples.
The girl at the bar who I gave my email to: We talked about who she was looking for, who she was with. Then we discussed the venue, how she hated running into old people form high school. Then we talked about high school, which part of the city we live in. We talked about some other clubs in town.
Girl in the University Coffee Shop: I had my laptop opener, we discussed her computer a bit and I mentioned how bad my laptop is since it's several years old and the battery pretty much dies right away if I unplug. Onto using a laptop to take notes in class vs. just using a pen and paper. Then onto more discussion about classes what we're both in. Talked about how I'm in the easy math class and how I have a big test coming up in a couple hours.
Overall I do try to go into some story telling aspects but it's never too long. And as you can see, the conversation is usually relevant to the location or at least to some extent. Thanks for your help Phat, reading your approach journal is really what has inspired me to go out and do some day game.
Ok my report for the week. Phat, I listened to those banter audios and some others and frankly the idea of banter still scares the crap out of me. Like I already do banter just for fun with girls in my group of friends but to do it with a complete stranger still seems scary. I also went for the number close too lol. Okay this is a whole week to remember now so I’m going to be strained here haha.
Monday
I had two openers that day. Contrasting them I believe that I really learnt something! The first one I did was just in the general university area and it was already late afternoon so the place was pretty dead. I went up to this girl just sitting by her and just started chatting about what she was drinking and what she was reading. The whole thing felt very forced on my part especially since I knew the day was almost over. It maybe lasted like five minutes and I didn’t number close nor did I think I should have. Afterwards I went to go wait for my bus and as I was standing in the bus shack the woman beside me was eating walnuts and she dropped one to the ground and we both kind of watch it fall and then we make eye contact and I say: “It’s a shame to lose one of those they’re quite good”. Then we just chit chat about walnuts and other healthy foods and cooking for a bit until her bus comes. Overall this one felt very natural compared to the other one, I don’t believe it was the locale but more so I just didn’t think of the approach until the opener presented itself.
Tuesday
Went out with my wing for a bit that day. My first approach was a girl reading the bulletin board (basically lists upcoming events) in one of the general university buildings. I just sort of went up to her and asked her if there was anything interesting coming up. We chatted for a bit and the most profound thing I remembered here was that I was making her laugh. I like talking to girls in front of the bulletin board as I pretty much have conversational material staring me in the face. My next approach was in a different sort of student centre with couches, this was also pretty dead but on the TVs they were playing Quantum of Solace which had just come out that day. So I went up to a girl and just started chatting about the movie and what she was studying. This lasted maybe six minutes but I was picking up on signs of disinterest, I noticed that she was looking past me a lot. I ejected. Ugh sorry this are so ****ty to read, I really wish I could give you more dialogue but honestly I cannot remember it from so long ago since I wasn’t able to type this down the day it happened.
Wednesday
We had a huge freak snowstorm so I wasn’t able to go to class in the morning but by the evening it had cleared and I went to my evening class and the gym. I only did one approach today and it was to a woman at the bus stop. We chatted about the weather (not usually a valid topic unless there’s a blizzard at the end of March!). But as soon as I opened I noticed she was a fair bit older than I but she was still receptive so that was good.
Monday
I had two openers that day. Contrasting them I believe that I really learnt something! The first one I did was just in the general university area and it was already late afternoon so the place was pretty dead. I went up to this girl just sitting by her and just started chatting about what she was drinking and what she was reading. The whole thing felt very forced on my part especially since I knew the day was almost over. It maybe lasted like five minutes and I didn’t number close nor did I think I should have. Afterwards I went to go wait for my bus and as I was standing in the bus shack the woman beside me was eating walnuts and she dropped one to the ground and we both kind of watch it fall and then we make eye contact and I say: “It’s a shame to lose one of those they’re quite good”. Then we just chit chat about walnuts and other healthy foods and cooking for a bit until her bus comes. Overall this one felt very natural compared to the other one, I don’t believe it was the locale but more so I just didn’t think of the approach until the opener presented itself.
Tuesday
Went out with my wing for a bit that day. My first approach was a girl reading the bulletin board (basically lists upcoming events) in one of the general university buildings. I just sort of went up to her and asked her if there was anything interesting coming up. We chatted for a bit and the most profound thing I remembered here was that I was making her laugh. I like talking to girls in front of the bulletin board as I pretty much have conversational material staring me in the face. My next approach was in a different sort of student centre with couches, this was also pretty dead but on the TVs they were playing Quantum of Solace which had just come out that day. So I went up to a girl and just started chatting about the movie and what she was studying. This lasted maybe six minutes but I was picking up on signs of disinterest, I noticed that she was looking past me a lot. I ejected. Ugh sorry this are so ****ty to read, I really wish I could give you more dialogue but honestly I cannot remember it from so long ago since I wasn’t able to type this down the day it happened.
Wednesday
We had a huge freak snowstorm so I wasn’t able to go to class in the morning but by the evening it had cleared and I went to my evening class and the gym. I only did one approach today and it was to a woman at the bus stop. We chatted about the weather (not usually a valid topic unless there’s a blizzard at the end of March!). But as soon as I opened I noticed she was a fair bit older than I but she was still receptive so that was good.
Thursday
Before my class started I was just walking around the general entrance area to the library and I was speaking to a girl who was just chilling on a bench. We talked a bit about the weather (still blizzarding outside) and eventually talked about what class she had next which turned out to be German. This is when the conversation turned to something I was genuinely interested in because I am taking German during the summer at the university. Anyways so both our classes are in the same building so we start walking together and I ask if I can get her number in case I have any German questions (what the hell was I thinking?) … she hesitates and instead of letting her answer I jump the gun and ask if she has Facebook which she doesn’t. By this point I’ve arrived to class and tell her good luck with the presentation. The approach was going great until I started making excuses to try and get her contact info, frankly most of it’s a blur now but I know that it didn’t go well at the end haha!
Friday
Not much of note happened but I did run into a girl from my class who I’ve liked for a while and I got her email address. Afterwards I was so pumped I just started chatting it up with the 40 something librarian as I was getting my books checked out. I kind of like that, very no pressure situation.
From now on I will write the approaches out the day they happen. In the future I definitely want to get involved in recording them since this would seem to be the best way to get help. Tonality plays so much into it. Anyways that’s all for now, hopefully more confident number closing in the future.
Before my class started I was just walking around the general entrance area to the library and I was speaking to a girl who was just chilling on a bench. We talked a bit about the weather (still blizzarding outside) and eventually talked about what class she had next which turned out to be German. This is when the conversation turned to something I was genuinely interested in because I am taking German during the summer at the university. Anyways so both our classes are in the same building so we start walking together and I ask if I can get her number in case I have any German questions (what the hell was I thinking?) … she hesitates and instead of letting her answer I jump the gun and ask if she has Facebook which she doesn’t. By this point I’ve arrived to class and tell her good luck with the presentation. The approach was going great until I started making excuses to try and get her contact info, frankly most of it’s a blur now but I know that it didn’t go well at the end haha!
Friday
Not much of note happened but I did run into a girl from my class who I’ve liked for a while and I got her email address. Afterwards I was so pumped I just started chatting it up with the 40 something librarian as I was getting my books checked out. I kind of like that, very no pressure situation.
From now on I will write the approaches out the day they happen. In the future I definitely want to get involved in recording them since this would seem to be the best way to get help. Tonality plays so much into it. Anyways that’s all for now, hopefully more confident number closing in the future.