married and dont give a ****

[strey]

title says it all. cheat or get divorced? those are two good options. got a kid, which i love, but the wife, well, she is just a pain in the ass. im over it. topic of divorce is common amongst us. i want out, never wanted in. is there a way in which the outcome wont be similar to a bloodless coup, and wont psychologically destroy my kid? how much money will i lose?

also, how do i know if a woman will bang a married guy? :crazy:

p.s. i was stoned the other day and was watching "married with children". eerily predicts my future, which im trying to avoid..

 

[scrouds]

"also, how do i know if a woman will bang a married guy?"

Check for a pulse.

 

[Yo'Mama]

"also, how do i know if a woman will bang a married guy?"

Check for a pulse.

Heh!

I'd go as far as saying that a guy being married is seen by women as an attractive quality. It won't slow you down none. Just be careful not to get caught or it might mean you get even more screwed over in the divorce.

 

[scrouds]

Mysteriousness is the name of the game. Forbidden goods is attractive to women.

Also in the interests of hypergamy, in most states now, "no fault" divorce means you can cheat all you want and it won't matter in the divorce.

The challenge here is that a woman that is absolutely in love with you will ignore all but the most obvious signs of cheating, but a woman that is not in love with you will use that as ammo against you with your kids.

 

[5string]

Get out. I wasted 25 years. Biggest mistake I ever made. Do it for yourself and your own well being. PM me if you wanna talk.

 

[davewe]

Get out. I wasted 25 years. Biggest mistake I ever made. Do it for yourself and your own well being. PM me if you wanna talk.

THIS!!

 

[davewe]

p.s. i was stoned the other day and was watching "married with children". eerily predicts my future, which im trying to avoid..

Believe me it can get worse than anything Al Bundy ever went through.

At least now on Modern Family he has a young hottie!

 

[Desdinova]

how much money will i lose?

It all depends on how you end the marriage. If you end it as peacefully as possible, then probably not much. If you end it with anger, hate, and revenge, then you can potentially lose thousands.

When you do end it, DO NOT bring up all the problems in your marriage. Let her know that the two of you seem to have grown apart, and would probably be better off going your separate ways. If she wants a bunch of reasons, remain vague and tell her there's no reason to bring up all the issues in the marriage because the relationship is obviously finished.

Then, as soon as possible, sit down with her and put down how you want to split up your stuff, and how you want child visitation to work. Then, get yourself a separation agreement done up ASAP and get it signed by yourself, her, and two witnesses. The separation agreement will make what the both of you agreed upon legal. THIS will prevent you from being fvcked over when it comes to child custody, child support, and all your assets.

If you decide to do it with your head on fire, you'll have to battle all this out in court and with lawyers which is what will cost you money.

Divorce in it's most basic form is the breaking of a legal document. Anything else added onto it is the result of the two parties disagreeing on how to split everything up. If you stick to the basic form of divorce and keep peace between you and the soon-to-be ex-wife, it'll be affordable for the both of you.

 

[zekko]

Then, as soon as possible, sit down with her and put down how you want to split up your stuff, and how you want child visitation to work.

If you're going to do this, "soon as possible" is the key. Once my ex-wife's lawyer got involved, he told her not to discuss any sort of settlement or agreement with me at all - that became a matter for the courts to decide.
He had dreamed up all manner of ideas to screw me.

In the end, she accepted what I offered, so that was cool. But her lawyer wanted a fight, and she wouldn't discuss it with me at all. Why wouldn't her lawyer want a fight? The more protracted the divorce, the more money he would get.

 

[Desdinova]

Why wouldn't her lawyer want a fight? The more protracted the divorce, the more money he would get.

When I found out my ex was screwing around, one of the first things I did was contact a lawyer. The absolute key in getting legal advice is to take exactly that: legal advice. The lawyer will get your emotions flaring, advise you to do 5hit to make the separation more messy, and have your divorce pay for their next getaway to the Bahamas.

When you talk to a lawyer (which I suggest doing before you actually do anything) take ONLY the information that pertains to legal matters and ignore their suggestions for how you should end the marriage. They're not relationship experts, they're legal experts. Take the relevant legal advice and dump everything else that they throw at you. Get any information you can with regards to hers and your legal rights.

Prepare for the worst, and execute it like she's a friend who's moving to another country.

 

[Mr.Positive]

There's a lot of good advise in this thread. While I have fortunately never gone through a divorce, personally I would want to get it over as quick as possible.

Remember that things will most likely get worse, before getting better. If the drama and life changes get to you, think about how great your life is going to be when you are free and clear of it all.

I was talking with a coworker the other day about his divorce. His was a tough one (her infidelity), but he said the whole experience made him stronger as a person. One thing he's gotten past in life.

He's now living it up. He's taken his freedom and traveled all over, the caribean, mexico, south pacific islands, banged hot women all over the place, etc. He's really an inspiration to talk to.

My advise, be like my coworker. Find your inspiration.

 

[zekko]

When I found out my ex was screwing around, one of the first things I did was contact a lawyer. The absolute key in getting legal advice is to take exactly that: legal advice. The lawyer will get your emotions flaring, advise you to do 5hit to make the separation more messy, and have your divorce pay for their next getaway to the Bahamas.

Honestly, I have no complaints about my lawyer. Like Mr. Positive said, I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible without losing my shirt.
Basically, he just took my offer to her lawyer. He wanted to get more of course, but my ex-wife didn't want to drag it out either, so she accepted my offer. We never spent a minute in court.

 

[Desdinova]

my ex-wife didn't want to drag it out either, so she accepted my offer. We never spent a minute in court.

You're pretty lucky in that aspect. After a year of being split, my ex contacted a lawyer and decided that she wanted to get some cash out of me. She told me that I had to go through with equalization. I basically told her 'fvck you' and quoted the page from the separation agreement which states that all our debts and assets have been settled. Haven't heard a word about it since. Because of that agreement, she cannot change her mind and milk me for cash.

I'm still not legally divorced. I told her that once she's willing to get the actual divorce done with no bull5hit attached, I'll have no problem doing it. Since I don't ever want to get married again anyway, it's a non-issue for me.

 

[SteR]

title says it all. cheat or get divorced? those are two good options. got a kid, which i love, but the wife, well, she is just a pain in the ass. im over it. topic of divorce is common amongst us. i want out, never wanted in. is there a way in which the outcome wont be similar to a bloodless coup, and wont psychologically destroy my kid? how much money will i lose?

also, how do i know if a woman will bang a married guy? :crazy:

p.s. i was stoned the other day and was watching "married with children". eerily predicts my future, which im trying to avoid..

Just out of interest, why did you get married in the first place?

 

[strey]

Just out of interest, why did you get married in the first place?

knocked her up. did the quickie wedding at the jop. she wanted piece of mind? guess she didnt want her fam and friends thinking she was a *****, i dunno. she said she wanted our kid to know that it wasnt concieved out of sex, rather than love? im still young, and so is our kid. just dont want this to be a circus for our kid

 

[zekko]

You're pretty lucky in that aspect. After a year of being split, my ex contacted a lawyer and decided that she wanted to get some cash out of me. She told me that I had to go through with equalization. I basically told her 'fvck you' and quoted the page from the separation agreement which states that all our debts and assets have been settled.

I hadn't realized you weren't divorced. I have no experience with seperation agreements so I have no idea how that works or translates into divorces.
I bet the fact that she can't bleed you for money is one reason why she seems to be in no hurry to finalize the divorce.

 

[azanon]

title says it all. cheat or get divorced? those are two good options. got a kid, which i love, but the wife, well, she is just a pain in the ass. im over it. topic of divorce is common amongst us. i want out, never wanted in. is there a way in which the outcome wont be similar to a bloodless coup, and wont psychologically destroy my kid? how much money will i lose?

also, how do i know if a woman will bang a married guy? :crazy:

p.s. i was stoned the other day and was watching "married with children". eerily predicts my future, which im trying to avoid..

I'd get the divorce as soon as possible. I read your reason for getting married, and I can assure you the mistake was marrying in the first place. There is one correct reason to marry someone, and that is because you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Ironically, one of the most cruel things you can do to a child is marrying the child's other parent if you don't love them.

There are way too many posts on here with folks worrying about how much they're going to lose as if they are one of the few Americans with significant net worth. Since you didn't mention one way or the other, odds are you're not one of them. I"m not being mean, merely making a statistical statement.

If by lose, you meant a garnishment from your check to help pay for your kid, you should want to do that or there is something wrong with you. As I expressed in another thread, I have no sympathy for parents who don't want to support their kids. But she'll go spend it on something else, yada yada yada. No she wont. He/she will be fed, sent to school, clothed, etc and at least where I live, that costs money.

 

[Larry Walker]

Believe me it can get worse than anything Al Bundy ever went through.

At least now on Modern Family he has a young hottie!

I just checked out the Modern Family show. Not only does he have a young hottie he has a young FOREIGN hottie.

Just like me, I married a foreign hottie like that and I am happy as hell. She has the accent and everything

I recommend foreign hotties for everyone.

 

[Upside]

A young foreign hottie...who happened to be a single mother that got with an older man who had cash. The show had to make it somehow believable.