marriage

swagman544

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I have a question, i grew up around a golfcourse and every since i was 8 years old every older man ive known has told me not to get married it is the worst mistake they ever made, lol i am now 23 and i dunno if its rubbed off on me but i can only date a girl for so long and then bam i get sick of her... its like a curse, my friends are like wow shes hot, a great girl, smart, "whats ur problem?" do any of you guys have the same problem... i have 2 uncles who never got married and they are happy as anything, nice houses, lots of girlfriends and plently of money... also they have a full set of hair at 50 while my dad is grey and balding
 

nan3109

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well im in a LTR right now and I'd be fine marrying my girl. It all just depends on the girl. The girl I'm with right now is like seriously my best friend and a sex partner all in the same. She likes to do the stuff I like to do (she was a tom boy as a little girl, go figure) and shes really smart and in college to get her 4-year in Science.

So lets see, a good friend who's hot and likes doing the same things as me, a girl who doesnt want kids but will leave that decision up to me, and a girl who'll be making a nice amount of cash when she graduates.... sounds good to me!
 

Walden

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Yeah there's guys who want to marry and guys who don't . The french have a one word name for relationships that are like a girlfriend where you date but don't live togethre or get married, and these can last like 20 years or so.

Personallly I'm turned off the udea of marraige by all these guys who get married and then just assume that all of their social interaction needs are now going to be met by their wives and just drop out of the world altogether. Screw that!
 

vudufixit

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A lot of financial advice books put "get married" in their lists of "musts."
I tend to agree - having a supportive woman in your life who will stand by you can be incredibly important - and the second income isn't too bad either.
You have to be the marrying type, too.
I think those old men who say, "don't get married" probably married some high school or college sweetheart. Or they had decent marriages, and now that they're both old and sex and life in general aren't quite as good; it colors their view of the subject.
Or they felt they "settled" for someone who merely wanted to marry them.
I fear a friend of mine is headed in that direction. He's been with this gal for a while, she's only OK looking. They seem to be heading for a "default" marriage - they've been together, they like each other, and they figure they could do better, but why bother, since they know each other and have invested a lot of time in the relationship they'd rather not throw away.
My friend gets all AFC around her - calls her two or more times a day, is really submissive and cooing on the phone, and always lets her set the agenda for vacations (her family members are always part of the vacation plan - how unromantic!), how they spend time together, etc. "We tried to find something she wanted to watch on TV" was one phrase I heard from him.
That's another aspect - while dating, the guy has to establish control, and the mistake men often make is once the marriage begins, they relinquish it, thinking the hard part's over when it's really just begun.
 

swagman544

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Yeah i noticed alot of people who get married out of convenience, lol i see them a year or so after the wedding and they are fat and always in a bad mood... Yeah i think alot of guys will make good husbands and some of us wont, i for one will never be a good husband, i always put myself first... there was a time when i put my GF of 4 years first but she screwed me over... and im glad she did because in the longrun it made me in my opinion a better and stronger person. I just cannot get attatched to a girl after a certain period of time.
 

BobbDobbs

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Baldness is genetic, by the way. :)

Financially, marriage is a big win -- except you lose a lot in a divorce, especially if you have kids and you are the major breadwinner. Ouch!

As for marriage -- if you don't want to get married -- DON'T! You'll be doing your future ex-wife and yourself a great favor.
 

Slickster

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Don't listen to other people's advice to get married or not.

Make up your own mind.

You'll know you've found some one special when you do. If you're not there yet then keep looking. If you never find her then thats fine too.

People who give advice like that are bitter from their past experiences. When it comes to your turn you'll do it better.
 
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