Marriage

[shesabranchswinger]

No, the problem is most husbands get fat, weak, complacent, and start treating their wives like a sister, roommate, and mother. Women actually don't change. Women respond to how their men show up. If he turns into a weak *****, she cuts her hair, gets fat, and becomes a nagging shrew that assumes the role of telling him what to do. Then being a weak *****, he allows it to continue.

Agree to disagree, are you telling me you are the same person you were when you were 17. People change over their lifetime they may come full circle back close to who they were but they changed along the way and you can never go back home. Most women I know have changed fasted and more erratic than most men I know. Don't forget they struggle with hormone issues from 40s to 50s.A man or woman can't make you change it's the choices that we make that facilitate our change in my opinion. I'm not sure how most husbands act in the privacy of their own home, but for me I'll treat a biotch like a Queen but she's gotta realize that I'm the goddam King.

 

[Reyaj]

Both men and women change. It's the moral foundation of dedicating themselves to the marriage that will often dictate the outcome.

 

[exhausted]

No, the problem is most husbands get fat, weak, complacent, and start treating their wives like a sister, roommate, and mother. Women actually don't change. Women respond to how their men show up. If he turns into a weak *****, she cuts her hair, gets fat, and becomes a nagging shrew that assumes the role of telling him what to do. Then being a weak *****, he allows it to continue.

What year are u stuck in 1956? And how do I get there?

 

[highSpeed]

People stop dating each other in marriage. Both sides could be selfishly thinking "Damn. I'm pulling my weight in this marriage, why am I not happier? or "Why does he/she always do _?" or "He/she never does _."

Resentment builds up like a volcano.

The person you marry today will not be the same person in ten years. You can take that to the bank. The problem with marriage is just like any other LTR, interest level is in full swing. It goes up and down and rises with the remains of the day.

Look at her friends too, does she hang out with unhappily married or divorced women? Those friends influence her opinion of her own relationship.

From my experience, making up from a fight may seem like communication "paid off" like it "should": the art of talking and listening to each other. Creating further intimacy, right? Often, I've seen that the talk/fight creates a disconnected chasm of resentment causing two persons to drift apart.

Marriage is tough work.

What I see now is entitled people looking at their SMV constantly asking themselves, "f this, why should I stay if I got power, infinite options, and disposable income?" The ole grass is always greener on the other side adage.

Besides, society and church is much more accepting of divorce now. "It's okay hun, you deserve to find someone better." With no stigma or guilt, people feel free to bail if the marriage stops serving them.

No, women stop dating after the marriage. most men, myself included unfortunately, didn't get a prenup. I didn't have much at the time and only shortly after our marriage did my career go through the roof. Yes, I had been building my career for years before that but timing wise, it took off after we got married. So now, my income 4-5 higher fold after we got married, would get skewered if we divorced and she knows it. You think she is going to work her ass off to keep me when she knows she gets half or more if she does nothing? It's a no brainer for her to get lazy, there's no point to work to keep me. so now, I'm stuck in a marriage where I have little to no power. I'm not walking away from my house, cars and kids and she knows it. You think someone's behavior is going to stay fair and balanced when they know there's no reason for them to?

Most people won't and you know it. I'm not the only guy in this position, there are many, many like me. You can call me stupid but I truly never considered the fact that she would behave like this. We dated for a year and her behavior was extremely good, s$x all the time, doing what I want, making time for me, doing all kinds of stuff for me.

Post marriage, several years down the road? Literally s$x like once a month if I'm lucky, all kinds of bad behavior, hardly does anything for me at this point. Treats me like a third class citizen. Over rules me in front of kids constantly. Constantly puts kids ahead of me. We get a night out, lots of s$x right? Nope, but I sure get the pleasure of paying top dollar for a good night out for her. She wants a high end 65K vehicle? she gets it. She wants a 20K hot tub? she gets it. She wants me to spend half my Saturday gardening? I do it. I'm horny at the end of the day? tough sh!t, she's tired. DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!! If you do, for god's sake, have an air tight pre-nup that specifically spells out what happens in the event that things don't work out, including how things work with the kids. she won't sign it, you walk, period!!!

 

[exhausted]

No, women stop dating after the marriage. most men, myself included unfortunately, didn't get a prenup. I didn't have much at the time and only shortly after our marriage did my career go through the roof. Yes, I had been building my career for years before that but timing wise, it took off after we got married. So now, my income 4-5 higher fold after we got married, would get skewered if we divorced and she knows it. You think she is going to work her ass off to keep me when she knows she gets half or more if she does nothing? It's a no brainer for her to get lazy, there's no point to work to keep me. so now, I'm stuck in a marriage where I have little to no power. I'm not walking away from my house, cars and kids and she knows it. You think someone's behavior is going to stay fair and balanced when they know there's no reason for them to?

Most people won't and you know it. I'm not the only guy in this position, there are many, many like me. You can call me stupid but I truly never considered the fact that she would behave like this. We dated for a year and her behavior was extremely good, s$x all the time, doing what I want, making time for me, doing all kinds of stuff for me.

Post marriage, several years down the road? Literally s$x like once a month if I'm lucky, all kinds of bad behavior, hardly does anything for me at this point. Treats me like a third class citizen. Over rules me in front of kids constantly. Constantly puts kids ahead of me. We get a night out, lots of s$x right? Nope, but I sure get the pleasure of paying top dollar for a good night out for her. She wants a high end 65K vehicle? she gets it. She wants a 20K hot tub? she gets it. She wants me to spend half my Saturday gardening? I do it. I'm horny at the end of the day? tough sh!t, she's tired. DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!! If you do, for god's sake, have an air tight pre-nup that specifically spells out what happens in the event that things don't work out, including how things work with the kids. she won't sign it, you walk, period!!!

That woman is ****ing brutal.
Wish better for ya man.
I would be in fight mode, like literal fight mode when I use to compete in boxing there would be no piercing my mindset or spirit in any way, unreachable really. You need to adapt this mentality and Energy and have her tip toeing around you terrified to be anything but an angel to u in any way. **** her, her treatment of u is straight abuse. With holding affection is abusive. These women today are garbage.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

That woman is ****ing brutal.
Wish better for ya man.
I would be in fight mode, like literal fight mode when I use to compete in boxing there would be no piercing my mindset or spirit in any way, unreachable really. You need to adapt this mentality and Energy and have her tip toeing around you terrified to be anything but an angel to u in any way. **** her, her treatment of u is straight abuse. With holding affection is abusive. These women today are garbage.

If he does any of that she's out the door with half his earnings quite possibly for life, and guess who gets to pay attorneys fees and keep the kids and house most likely. He's stuck and has to play by her rules because of a choice he made earlier on in his life. And at the time almost anyone would have made that choice for love. The way I see it he only has two choices

#1 stay in his kids life do what the warden asks and he gets to keep his stuff and have sex a few times a month and work an ungodly amount of hours for now depending on day to day interactions with the warden.

# 2 stand up to the warden and get thrown in the hole, have his privileges taken away by force and pay for some other guy to bang his wife and raise his kids.
Man you Gotta love parts of this American system.

Either way it's rigged so I guess you choose the lesser of two evils if you have the choice most guys are forced into option #2

I would say that 90% of the guys I know who have been married over 12 years all say don't get married and they must be saying it for a valid reason. I know most of them love their wife's to bad prenuptials are not standard father son speeches to level the playing field.

 

[exhausted]

If he does any of that she's out the door with half his earnings quite possibly for life, and guess who gets to pay attorneys fees and keep the kids and house most likely. He's stuck and has to play by her rules because of a choice he made earlier on in his life. And at the time almost anyone would have made that choice for love. The way I see it he only has two choices

#1 stay in his kids life do what the warden asks and he gets to keep his stuff and have sex a few times a month and work an ungodly amount of hours for now depending on day to day interactions with the warden.

# 2 stand up to the warden and get thrown in the hole, have his privileges taken away by force and pay for some other guy to bang his wife and raise his kids.
Man you Gotta love parts of this American system.

Either way it's rigged so I guess you choose the lesser of two evils if you have the choice most guys are forced into option #2

I would say that 90% of the guys I know who have been married over 12 years all say don't get married and they must be saying it for a valid reason. I know most of them love their wife's to bad prenuptials are not standard father son speeches to level the playing field.

Understand your point, however why is this cvnt sticking around?
If she can bail anytime and get those things anyways why doesn't she?

**** this system and these women.

I have raised my son 18 years now, his mom left before he was walking at 10 months never seen her since. Barely get any child support yet this ***** gets off. In fact because I make good money they dropped her payment from a 2001 court order of 184$ a month to 99$ a month. Haha.

**** this country's court system

NEVER get married. Never

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Understand your point, however why is this cvnt sticking around?
If she can bail anytime and get those things anyways why doesn't she?

**** this system and these women.

I have raised my son 18 years now, his mom left before he was walking at 10 months never seen her since. Barely get any child support yet this ***** gets off. In fact because I make good money they dropped her payment from a 2001 court order of 184$ a month to 99$ a month. Haha.

**** this country's court system

NEVER get married. Never

Because if she leaves then she can't control him and the situation and that's what she wants most. And some if not most women now a days feel the need to control situations even though some if not most of them lack the willpower, ability and wherewithal to take the proper actions needed to see things through to the end, but that won't stop her from trying.

Plus if she leaves now who's going to kill the spiders and investigate the bumps in the night downstairs at 3am for her till she finds another man, that mentality is part of why they branch swing to in my book.

 

[exhausted]

Because if she leaves then she can't control him and the situation and that's what she wants most. And some if not most women now a days feel the need to control situations even though some if not most of them lack the willpower, ability and wherewithal to take the proper actions needed to see things through to the end, but that won't stop her from trying.

Plus if she leaves now who's going to kill the spiders and investigate the bumps in the night downstairs at 3am for her till she finds another man, that mentality is part of why they branch swing to in my book.

Understood.
Well said.

 

[Rainman4707]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

It's your life Great Snake. You are truly unique. Remember that. There is nobody else on this planet like you.

My parents are married & have been for 35 years. I'm proud of them for that. They cannot stand each other at times is an understatement , but they love each other & would do anything for each other. Its seems like they are soulmates. Maybe that's why I used to want the happy family lifestyle, but after being on this site for five years & reading lots of books, I've had my eyes opened. I'm not saying I wont get married, but I don't think i'm as eager as I would have been if it weren't for this site. (many thanks guys & girls) So theres the part of me that wants the happy family & theres the other side that realises that there is a strong possibility that i'm going to be sat on this site in twenty years discussing all the women I've fu*ked. I'd rather have the happy family any day (most guys would)

It's probs best to live listening to your head rather than your heart, but that's easier said than done. I have a gut feeling that my GF isn't the right one for me, but I really, really like her, so i'm still with her. Tough choices my friend.

 

[highSpeed]

Because if she leaves then she can't control him and the situation and that's what she wants most. And some if not most women now a days feel the need to control situations even though some if not most of them lack the willpower, ability and wherewithal to take the proper actions needed to see things through to the end, but that won't stop her from trying.

Plus if she leaves now who's going to kill the spiders and investigate the bumps in the night downstairs at 3am for her till she finds another man, that mentality is part of why they branch swing to in my book.

I've never met a woman that doesn't want control. They'll never tell you that either. They gas light, they f*ck with your head, it's an enjoyment factor. She knows she controls the situation. Think about it, I can pretty much make you do anything I want if I control your money and your kids. I don't need to be bigger and tougher than you, I just need to have control of both of those things and you will be my b*tch.

 

[highSpeed]

If he does any of that she's out the door with half his earnings quite possibly for life, and guess who gets to pay attorneys fees and keep the kids and house most likely. He's stuck and has to play by her rules because of a choice he made earlier on in his life. And at the time almost anyone would have made that choice for love. The way I see it he only has two choices

#1 stay in his kids life do what the warden asks and he gets to keep his stuff and have sex a few times a month and work an ungodly amount of hours for now depending on day to day interactions with the warden.

# 2 stand up to the warden and get thrown in the hole, have his privileges taken away by force and pay for some other guy to bang his wife and raise his kids.
Man you Gotta love parts of this American system.

Either way it's rigged so I guess you choose the lesser of two evils if you have the choice most guys are forced into option #2

I would say that 90% of the guys I know who have been married over 12 years all say don't get married and they must be saying it for a valid reason. I know most of them love their wife's to bad prenuptials are not standard father son speeches to level the playing field.

and this is why the birth rate in many western countries is below replacement because many men are scared to death to get married. I'm someone's b*tch now. It stings man, believe me. I'm a fighter, been that way my entire life. You're bigger than me? You beat me up? I find you later with a baseball bat. I learn how to box. I'm not rolling over for anyone. It's different when your kids and your money are concerned though. Not much I can do, my hands are largely tied. Cheaper to keeper.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

It's your life Great Snake. You are truly unique. Remember that. There is nobody else on this planet like you.

My parents are married & have been for 35 years. I'm proud of them for that. They cannot stand each other at times is an understatement , but they love each other & would do anything for each other. Its seems like they are soulmates. Maybe that's why I used to want the happy family lifestyle, but after being on this site for five years & reading lots of books, I've had my eyes opened. I'm not saying I wont get married, but I don't think i'm as eager as I would have been if it weren't for this site. (many thanks guys & girls) So theres the part of me that wants the happy family & theres the other side that realises that there is a strong possibility that i'm going to be sat on this site in twenty years discussing all the women I've fu*ked. I'd rather have the happy family any day (most guys would)

It's probs best to live listening to your head rather than your heart, but that's easier said than done. I have a gut feeling that my GF isn't the right one for me, but I really, really like her, so i'm still with her. Tough choices my friend.

Milk it for as long as you can brother. I have had 100s of women in my life and where are they now?
They all leave or have been kicked to the curb for bad behavior. I hate to think of where I would be if I married the hand full of them that were pushing for marriage with altamedums(sp). If they only stuck it out and stayed all of their life's would be better off right now but they were truly not down for the long haul their loss.

It's not a tough choice as long as it's her choice. If she's not happy with you she knows where the door is. I'n the mean time do you. I'm not saying it's impossible but to find a woman with values like your mom in today's climate is close to impossible.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

No, women stop dating after the marriage. most men, myself included unfortunately, didn't get a prenup. I didn't have much at the time and only shortly after our marriage did my career go through the roof. Yes, I had been building my career for years before that but timing wise, it took off after we got married. So now, my income 4-5 higher fold after we got married, would get skewered if we divorced and she knows it. You think she is going to work her ass off to keep me when she knows she gets half or more if she does nothing? It's a no brainer for her to get lazy, there's no point to work to keep me. so now, I'm stuck in a marriage where I have little to no power. I'm not walking away from my house, cars and kids and she knows it. You think someone's behavior is going to stay fair and balanced when they know there's no reason for them to?

Most people won't and you know it. I'm not the only guy in this position, there are many, many like me. You can call me stupid but I truly never considered the fact that she would behave like this. We dated for a year and her behavior was extremely good, s$x all the time, doing what I want, making time for me, doing all kinds of stuff for me.

Post marriage, several years down the road? Literally s$x like once a month if I'm lucky, all kinds of bad behavior, hardly does anything for me at this point. Treats me like a third class citizen. Over rules me in front of kids constantly. Constantly puts kids ahead of me. We get a night out, lots of s$x right? Nope, but I sure get the pleasure of paying top dollar for a good night out for her. She wants a high end 65K vehicle? she gets it. She wants a 20K hot tub? she gets it. She wants me to spend half my Saturday gardening? I do it. I'm horny at the end of the day? tough sh!t, she's tired. DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!! If you do, for god's sake, have an air tight pre-nup that specifically spells out what happens in the event that things don't work out, including how things work with the kids. she won't sign it, you walk, period!!!

As much as you can, switch to cash. Lower your standard of living on paper. If she's not working, try to get her back in the workforce. This will help if you go the divorce route. Also, if your marriage isn't long enough to be considered long term, consider dumping her before you are facing long term or permanent alimony. Consult with a good lawyer before you do anything.

Stop being her b*tch. I repeat, STOP BEING HER B*TCH. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

And read everything at therationalmale.com starting with the early stuff.

-Augustus-

 

[wifehunter]

The answer is: unlicensed / undocumented marriage

Because it's nobodies business but you, her, and the Lord. Not the government, not some dumb pastor, or any other idiot.

 

[corrector]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

It is not up to you to believe there is or no divorce, just like it was not up to me. With today's no-fault divorce anyone can just start a divorce proceedings and there is nothing you can do about it because that's the law of the land. Easy divorces undermine ALL marriages. It's actually easier to divorce than it is to get married. It's better not to get married in the first place if you don't believe in divorce because real marriage doesn't exist in this day and age. Women are entitled hors.

 

[Masculinity]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

Logic should be stronger than values. A lot of people in Boston (and all over the world as well) never said anything about the priests raping children because it was against their religion. Also, values can change based on experience and critical thinking. I was raised Christian and now I'm not religious and refuse to pay tributes to one particular god.


Your values won't give you half of your property and money or pay the spousal support to your wife in the 50/50 chance that you get divorced and the highly likely chance that she will be the one to initiate the divorce.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Logic should be stronger than values. A lot of people in Boston (and all over the world as well) never said anything about the priests raping children because it was against their religion. Also, values can change based on experience and critical thinking. I was raised Christian and now I'm not religious and refuse to pay tributes to one particular god.


Your values won't give you half of your property and money or pay the spousal support to your wife in the 50/50 chance that you get divorced and the highly likely chance that she will be the one to initiate the divorce.

An early saint converted a barbarian king. The barbarian was only too keen to visit Rome which he imagined to be the pinnacle of innocent existence. Needless to say he was quickly discouraged as the saint thought this may do more harm to his faith than good.

Fast forward a few years to the time of Luther. He visits Rome, and instead of losing his faith takes it with him when he leaves. Enter the fanatical period of the Reformation.

 

[Masculinity]

An early saint converted a barbarian king. The barbarian was only too keen to visit Rome which he imagined to be the pinnacle of innocent existence. Needless to say he was quickly discouraged as the saint thought this may do more harm to his faith than good.

Fast forward a few years to the time of Luther. He visits Rome, and instead of losing his faith takes it with him when he leaves. Enter the fanatical period of the Reformation.

Not sure about what the message is here.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Not sure about what the message is here.

Well, I find the distinct stories humorous; and then they themselves both have a distinction in mind between the real, and the ideal, between practice and theory. Whereas the earlier one has a saint concerned that reality will win out over the ideal... with the King's trip to Rome; the second one has instead the trip of a monk, who sees the ideal win out over the real.

And yet, over the further course of history, the lesson seems to have been that when theory is divorced from reality, we, at some point, lose the ideal altogether. Here-in lay the ruin of Europe. I guess logic and values are identifiable with the real and the ideal.