Marriage paranoia around 25

[JdelaSilviera]

Hi mates,

First I would like to know what thoughts do you have on marriage. Do you intend to get married, and what would you consider a good age?

As a 25 yo guy, I´m starting to see lots and lots of engagements through facebook, it seems that past the age of 25, people really do stress about ending up alone (when they will probably live at least more 50 years).

One could say that in the mid to late twenties, people had already enough of partying and single life, but you also have lots of guys, with zero experience, that get their first girlfriend ever to get married 1 year later.

A particular thing that "bothers" me is the fact people don´t realize that marriage is doomed to failure in most cases. You have lots of people that had LTRs which went for 2+ years, to then break up, and ending up marrying someone they known for six months, which is silly... if the LTR was a bit longer the most likely outcome would be a break...

Another interesting thought is that you might have uncles and other family members, that have bad marriages or even are divorced, that put a lot of pressure on young people to get married. It seems they are bothered by a free life, and someone who is single is labeled as irresponsible and unable to commit. Why would we need to add unnecessary and senseless responsibilities to our lives in the first place.

 

[Turuwal]

Guys don't really mature emotionally until around 30. That is why other posters recommend not entering anything serious until your 30s.

If you hold off and practice your game you will (a) be able to get something better (b) have a better chance of making it work and (c) maybe decide that you don't really need it in the first place.

 

[Cremasta]

I got married at 35 and it's been just over 6 years. Mainly because I met my girl when I was 31, and I think it's silly to get married until you've known them for a few years.

Marriage either suits you, or it doesn't. But I will say that it's not all just responsibility, there's a lot of perks. I've always got someone to go see a movie with, sex on tap, the house is spotless and clean socks magically appear in my drawer. On balance, being married is brilliant, but that's just the way I'm wired.

Looking back, if I could do it over, I'd probably be married by 30 give or take a couple of years. If you want kids, you really don't want to be running around after a teenager in your late 50's.

 

[SteR]

Hi mates,

First I would like to know what thoughts do you have on marriage. Do you intend to get married, and what would you consider a good age?

As a 25 yo guy, I´m starting to see lots and lots of engagements through facebook, it seems that past the age of 25, people really do stress about ending up alone (when they will probably live at least more 50 years).

One could say that in the mid to late twenties, people had already enough of partying and single life, but you also have lots of guys, with zero experience, that get their first girlfriend ever to get married 1 year later.

A particular thing that "bothers" me is the fact people don´t realize that marriage is doomed to failure in most cases. You have lots of people that had LTRs which went for 2+ years, to then break up, and ending up marrying someone they known for six months, which is silly... if the LTR was a bit longer the most likely outcome would be a break...

Another interesting thought is that you might have uncles and other family members, that have bad marriages or even are divorced, that put a lot of pressure on young people to get married. It seems they are bothered by a free life, and someone who is single is labeled as irresponsible and unable to commit. Why would we need to add unnecessary and senseless responsibilities to our lives in the first place.

My friends did exactly the same thing around 25. I remember at the time feeling a little jealous... however now I thank christ that I haven't been married yet, haha. One of them is divorced already and two of my other close friends were moaning at me in the pub the other day about how they never have sex anymore.. one guy hasn't had sex with his wife in months. Screw that...

 

[SteR]

I got married at 35 and it's been just over 6 years. Mainly because I met my girl when I was 31, and I think it's silly to get married until you've known them for a few years.

Marriage either suits you, or it doesn't. But I will say that it's not all just responsibility, there's a lot of perks. I've always got someone to go see a movie with, sex on tap, the house is spotless and clean socks magically appear in my drawer. On balance, being married is brilliant, but that's just the way I'm wired.

Looking back, if I could do it over, I'd probably be married by 30 give or take a couple of years. If you want kids, you really don't want to be running around after a teenager in your late 50's.

You'd have preferred to get married earlier? I've always thought it'd be better to do it later myself (within reason). I agree you don't want to be old when having kids but I don't see anything wrong with having kids in your early 40s..

 

[VladPatton]

Do whatever suits your life best. Most marriages are shams and look great from a distance through a whole lot of smoke and mirrors. Some of these actors are close to 60 and still having kids. You really have to give zero fux at one point and what's best for you.

 

[JoeMarron]

I'll be getting married soon. Many here would say that I'm far too young but I've weighs the pros and the cons and determined that it'll be beneficial. I don't have much experience but I don't see that as relevant. If the marriage is doomed to failure then I'll simply move on with my life. The mistake that men make concerning marriage is marrying a chick who has no intention of working a real job, supporting her the entire marriage only to be screwed over years later. Providers and higher wage earners are the only ones getting screwed in divorce.

Marriage either suits you, or it doesn't. But I will say that it's not all just responsibility, there's a lot of perks. I've always got someone to go see a movie with, sex on tap, the house is spotless and clean socks magically appear in my drawer. On balance, being married is brilliant, but that's just the way I'm wired.

Agreed. Some men enjoy the thrill of conquering a new woman every night. Others just want easy reliable sex with a woman who they can also be friends with. I'm the latter, relationships and soon to be marriage simply suites my mindset better.

 

[Jaylan]

Hi mates,

First I would like to know what thoughts do you have on marriage. Do you intend to get married, and what would you consider a good age?

As a 25 yo guy, I´m starting to see lots and lots of engagements through facebook, it seems that past the age of 25, people really do stress about ending up alone (when they will probably live at least more 50 years).

One could say that in the mid to late twenties, people had already enough of partying and single life, but you also have lots of guys, with zero experience, that get their first girlfriend ever to get married 1 year later.

A particular thing that "bothers" me is the fact people don´t realize that marriage is doomed to failure in most cases. You have lots of people that had LTRs which went for 2+ years, to then break up, and ending up marrying someone they known for six months, which is silly... if the LTR was a bit longer the most likely outcome would be a break...

Another interesting thought is that you might have uncles and other family members, that have bad marriages or even are divorced, that put a lot of pressure on young people to get married. It seems they are bothered by a free life, and someone who is single is labeled as irresponsible and unable to commit. Why would we need to add unnecessary and senseless responsibilities to our lives in the first place.

While I do see people starting to shack up more as we all get into our late 20s and later...I do not see people freaking out if they are single.

Remember, a lot of us here are Americans and UK folks...so our culture is different from yours. Many of us are quite fine with hitting 30 and not being married.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I'll be getting married soon. Many here would say that I'm far too young but I've weighs the pros and the cons and determined that it'll be beneficial. I don't have much experience but I don't see that as relevant. If the marriage is doomed to failure then I'll simply move on with my life. The mistake that men make concerning marriage is marrying a chick who has no intention of working a real job, supporting her the entire marriage only to be screwed over years later. Providers and higher wage earners are the only ones getting screwed in divorce.

Is your future wife at least hot and a virgin?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Guys don't really mature emotionally until around 30.

Seriously?? Julius Cesar was commanding Roman legions at 30. Alexander The Great conquered most of the civilized world by the time he was 30. Yet, the modern man is being brainwashed to believe that he is supposed act like some kind of a retarded man child in the prime years of his life because he has not yet achieved "emotional maturity".

 

[thatfeel]

Seriously?? Julius Cesar was commanding Roman legions at 30. Alexander The Great conquered most of the civilized world by the time he was 30. Yet, the modern man is being brainwashed to believe that he is supposed act like some kind of a retarded man child in the prime years of his life because he has not yet achieved "emotional maturity".

lol, #getRekt

 

[JoeMarron]

Is your future wife at least hot and a virgin?

Lol, two partners before me, cute and passes the boner test. I could probably do better looks wise but that's silly. The hotter a chick is the more game is required to keep her in line. I'm too lazy for that sh!t

 

[marmel75]

I've got four words of advice:

Don't
F**king
Do
It!

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Marriage is for suckers....

 

[Trump]

One could say that in the mid to late twenties, people had already enough of partying and single life, but you also have lots of guys, with zero experience, that get their first girlfriend ever to get married 1 year later.

A particular thing that "bothers" me is the fact people don´t realize that marriage is doomed to failure in most cases. You have lots of people that had LTRs which went for 2+ years, to then break up, and ending up marrying someone they known for six months, which is silly... if the LTR was a bit longer the most likely outcome would be a break...

Hate to say it bro but people don't "care" what you think or what bothers you, they just care about themselves. They want antagonize, annoy, frustrate, show off, and pounce on any moment of weakness you have so they can take full and complete advantage. We even see it on this board, some people don't care about giving good helpful advice, they want to annoy, frustrate, shame and put others down so they can confuse and feel about themselves.

Nowadays marriage may not benefit men, but society sees you have to be married to be of some sort of value to them. No words or explanation will satisfy, just that you have wife on your arm is all that matters.

95% of my friends who are married are scared of their wives. The other 5% aren't because their wives are either not good looking, fat, or have a kid from previous marriage, so I guess they have some leverage there. :crackup:

You can get married, but have to have leverage. And with the state and government on her side, you better have a seven nation army behind you. Or be willing to be scared of her.

 

[Epimanes]

There's ways to make it work. I been married since I was 19 and met my wife when she was 15 and I was 16. Sex and the relationship (they are directly connected) has been up and down just like every other aspect of monogamy. Sometimes its hot and sometimes its not. All I can say is my wife is my best friend..she has strengths where I am weak and vise versa. She was/is gorgeous blonde blue eyes. 5"3 130lbs after 2 kids and today she is 35 and employed. We share recreational activites, we enjoy the same foods and we enjoy living vicariously through our children as they grow (16y/f and 10y/b now).

Epi

 

[thatfeel]

There's ways to make it work. I been married since I was 19 and met my wife when she was 15 and I was 16. Sex and the relationship (they are directly connected) has been up and down just like every other aspect of monogamy. Sometimes its hot and sometimes its not. All I can say is my wife is my best friend..she has strengths where I am weak and vise versa. She was/is gorgeous blonde blue eyes. 5"3 130lbs after 2 kids and today she is 35 and employed. We share recreational activites, we enjoy the same foods and we enjoy living vicariously through our children as they grow (16y/f and 10y/b now).

Epi

I'm a little jealous.

 

[lanba]

I'm going to be 25 this year and marriage is the last thing on my mind. Some people meet in their early teens, stay together a decade, then get married. Ok I can see how that's nice and convenient but really? Marrying any random from your school? Just cos you were in the same class at one point? I actually have ambition, I want to be successful. not tied down to some ho I was forced to go to school with as a kid. Raising her children and posing for photos to impress her vain friends on Facebook. Sounds like hell on earth. I want kids but for ME, not for some ***** who only wants my kids because she's scared the clock is ticking or some **** like that.

 

[skinnyguy]

There's one camp who thinks that marriage is for suckers, and there's one camp who thinks that if you're unmarried when you're 40 you're just a creeper.

Right now guys have a lot less pressure to get married. But, at the same time, getting married still has its benefits. I believe that people who are married have a better standard of living, and of course you don't have to go out trolling the bars for sex all the time. If you're in a bad marriage, just get out of it…this isn't a Middle Eastern country where divorce is taboo.

I agree that it comes down to the individual. If you're bitter about women, then please don't get married, you'll just get more bitter. But if you want to have kids then yes get married cause you don't want your kid becoming lost due to being in a single parent household. And you know that chicks who don't have a dad around become slvts on instagram.