Marriage about to break

[lonelylibra89]

Hello members, I've been married for two years, and in these two years, I've cheated on my partner multiple times, lied, and hurt her. Now she has moved out and taken both the kids, she isn't divorcing me but has given me 6 months to a year to turn things around like supporting me financially more, changing my negative habits, working on my anger issues, and lying as well.
I've been reading Rollo Tomassi's The Rationale Male and thought to come here and post about my situation and get some help from members over here.

 

[SW15]

The marriage is broken and cannot be salvaged. You should know that from reading Rollo Tomassi's "Rational Male".

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

It is always time and effort better spent developing relations with new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship.

The upside for you is that you can attract new vagina.

The typical beta male/average frustrated chump struggles to get laid and find relationships. You have had an abundance of pussie.

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to the forum. Your honesty about cheating take some guts. However, I will warn you that cheating on a woman isn’t always supported on this forum like one may assume. I can’t speak for every individual on here, of course, but generally speaking cheating isn’t considered a good thing here by much of the community. I wanted to warn you in case you get some bad feedback on this post. But we will still discuss your topic.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Your problems don't stem from relationship dynamics or a lack of understanding of women.

The outcome was inevitable based on your behavior.

Do you want to fix your relationship by changing your behavior?

Or do you want to fix your relationship while keeping your past behaviors?

 

[AttackFormation]

Welcome to the forum. Your honesty about cheating take some guts. However, I will warn you that cheating on a woman isn’t always supported on this forum like one may assume. I can’t speak for every individual on here, of course, but generally speaking cheating isn’t considered a good thing here by much of the community. I wanted to warn you in case you get some bad feedback on this post. But we will still discuss your topic.

And no wonder. Doing things openly would be one thing. But how could backstabbing and lying to the people you knew were supposed to be able to trust you the most, ever be considered a masculine ideal? We dont admire Efialtes of Trachis for good reason.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Lonely Libras,
Welcome to the Forum,disregard the usual virtue signaling few who would aspire to speak for us all....You were just one of the unlucky bvuggers who got caught out....What happened to the Spartans 2.5 millenia ago is hardly relevent to you....As another old book says,"He who is without sin,let him cast the first stone"....The problem is the Kids and you must take some counsel here....It is early days,express a willingness to talk and compromise and let sleeping Dogs lie for a while...Where there is good will,things sort themselves out eventually...Good luck.

 

[kavi]

Hello members, I've been married for two years, and in these two years, I've cheated on my partner multiple times, lied, and hurt her. Now she has moved out and taken both the kids, she isn't divorcing me but has given me 6 months to a year to turn things around like supporting me financially more, changing my negative habits, working on my anger issues, and lying as well.
I've been reading Rollo Tomassi's The Rationale Male and thought to come here and post about my situation and get some help from members over here.

WHY ARE YOU READING ROLLO?

You have to fix these issues
"I've cheated on my partner multiple times, lied, and hurt her"

A man can 'cheat' on his spouse in theory if he keeps her happy, this is known in the community, I wouldnt even class that as cheating. But it is always better if the woman knows.

There is never an excuse for lying and the rest of this reads quite badly. It would make men look very bad if men gave you any other advice other than to listen to what your wife said.

I dont think a woman would leave a husband with young children in a 2yr marriage unless things were very bad. Divorces normally take longer. She must have been desperate to leave and you must have been very bad.

You need to stop the cheating, lying and all that. Thats not how real men roll and ofcourse amongst men you have no friends if you want to continue your lying and cheating. You can only sleep around if your wife is happy and content.

 

[corrector]

Now that she is gone you can fool around with more women and dont have to lie about it. You have got it made. She took those bratty kids away from you too. Now you can live your best life.

I am being sarcastic here. I dont think you want advice, but you want to justify your terrible behaviour. Who makes threads like this?

 

[corrector]

If sex is a basic need, then it looks like his wife is not providing for that need so he has to fvck around to get his needs met elsewhere. Isnt that right @SW15?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Listen @lonelylibra89 you know your behavior is abominable. And welcome to the forum.

In order to offer salient advice I have a few questions:

1. Are the children yours and how old are they?

2. Why did you get married in the first place?

3. Do you want to salvage the marriage, or the relationship with your children, or both?

4. Are you prepared to do what is required to rebuild the trust?

Please share on each of those points. Your culture would be useful to know as well. American and Western European culture is different than Asian or Muslim culture, for example & how you handle things best will be influenced culturally.

My initial read is that you had kids first and got married later, perhaps out of obligation, which is less than ideal, but of course I could be off base. Or perhaps you are from a more patriarchal culture but she has taken the babies and gone home to her parents. Those details matter in how best to help you, as do your goals for the relationship.

If your wife is the mother of your children you are best advised to have at least civil discourse with her. Lying obviously is not conducive to that goal.

Many of the guys here have done the marriage and kids thing, many have been divorced, some are currently married, etc. I myself had 3 kids with my first husband, divorced after years together, kept an amicable relationship with the children’s father but have since remarried. My youngest is still in high school and lives with my second husband and I. So there are people here who have been in all the various permutations of relationships here.

Please share a bit more detail so we may better assist.

 

[AttackFormation]

Hi Lonely Libras,
Welcome to the Forum,disregard the usual virtue signaling few who would aspire to speak for us all....You were just one of the unlucky bvuggers who got caught out....What happened to the Spartans 2.5 millenia ago is hardly relevent to you....As another old book says,"He who is without sin,let him cast the first stone"....The problem is the Kids and you must take some counsel here....It is early days,express a willingness to talk and compromise and let sleeping Dogs lie for a while...Where there is good will,things sort themselves out eventually...Good luck.

Were not "speaking for you" nor are we "signaling" virtue any more than you are "signaling" being an adulterer, we respectively just are those things. But if you send me your address ill order you the pacifier you seem to need to deal with that, and some more sedatives for you to keep telling yourself all sins are equal.

 

[EyeBRollin]

What is it you want? To salvage the marriage?

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi AttackFormation,
No don't need the sedatives just yet but confronted with misrepresentation,judgementalism and hypocricy I may need them...." Were not "speaking for you" nor are we "signaling" virtue any more than you are "signaling" being an adulterer, we respectively just are those things."So just who are "We etc?and just when did they pass the mantle of representative to you?...You wear the appellation Master Don Juan,where does he sit in your World?Judge not lest ye also be judged!