Hi there. As you can tell from my post count I'm pretty new here. That being said, I've recently come to gather all my thoughts on the subject of what manhood is in this age filled with feminine ideas. This is something that I've been thinking about for about two years now. And while I would not consider myself by any means an expert with women, I'm certainly better than I was before. But more importantly, I'm just better. PERIOD. Now, with the title of this essay that I've just collected my ideas into, I want to stress. I am VERY MUCH FOR equal rights for women. However, that means EQUAL, and as far as I'm concerned in some areas, our society (mainly U.S.) has shifted into a more female-centric one. So without anymore preamble, I give you MY thoughts on manhood in this modern age.
Society has brainwashed men into thinking the qualities that make them men are both improper and unseemly. If you’re muscles are too big, you’re a meat head. If you’re too intelligent, you’re a nerd. And in heaven forbid you voice a complaint, then you’re a wimp. In fact the only thing society hasn’t forced out of today’s men, is the ability to “bear it.” If bad stuff happens to you, society just says, “Man up, and take it like a man.” This is the largest problem of all. Men are TOO used to taking it. Without the other qualities of maleness, this roughly turns today’s men into neutered Golden Retrievers ready to please. And while many women love their dog, they never respect it. We all know of the situation where a woman wears a low cut top exposing her cleavage for the world to see, but then complains that men look at her breasts. And if she calls the man out on it, what do most modern men do? They get embarrassed and feel awkward, just like a little neutered puppy should.
So what can we do about this? Well, if you’re one of these men, and you’re here then you’ve already made the largest step. You’ve used your nature given intellect to figure out there is something wrong with this picture. And like a REAL man, you’ve decided to do something about it. That is ultimately the point. Real men do; and not just for the sake of doing whatever it he is doing, but for himself, and no one else. If he must voice a complaint, he does so, but amidst attempting to fix the problem--always while doing. A Golden Retriever pleases others, a man pleases himself. It is not the Golden Retriever’s actions that give him pleasure; it is that which someone else has to bestow upon him that does. This is the fundamental difference. Should a man wish to help another, he should do so, regardless of the outcome, because it is ultimately (at least on an emotional level) not about those being helped, but about his unselfish want to help.
Men have always been beings of action. “Doing stuff” is in all of our natures. But that isn’t all. A real man has a deep rooted sense of responsibility. But with this, he must have the ability to distinguish what he is responsible for. For example, many men say, “I gave her everything. I treated her so well, and yet she still left me.” Often referred to as “White Knight Syndrome,” this stems from the man’s, ingrained instinct to “help” and “take care of” a women’s “needs,” which was necessary, when in a harsher age. But let us ponder this for a moment. These women, at this time, could they not walk? Were they horrendously injured in some way? Did they have no income of their own? No? Then why was it necessary to wait on them hand and foot, like a servant? Why was it necessary to buy her everything her heart desires? It wasn’t. This White Knight wanted to, because society tells him, that if he did, she would be his forever. But in reality the opposite was true. It was true because, this White Knight isn’t really a Knight at all. For a Knight, was someone who took what he wanted at the point of a sword (in this day and age, metaphorically of course). All this man has really done, is proven that he isn’t a man at all, but a Golden Retriever in white armor, wagging his tail as he runs around in circles trying to please his master for just one pat on the head. A man is first responsible for and to (this is even more important) himself .Women of today, will never need the kind of support and protection they needed as recently as even a hundred years ago. They can do things for themselves, so let them! If a man bends over backwards for them, without equal reciprocation, not only is that NOT equality, (wasn’t that what the whole women’s rights movement was about?) but he is no longer being responsible in regards to himself. He is turning himself into a slave, which is certainly not the type of individual a well-adjusted woman would want to become her mate. That is not to say that a real man is hedonistic, or shirks responsibility all together. A real man takes responsibility for himself, his actions (the consequences of them), and those he may be responsible for (i.e. children and other dependents). And as you can see, none of those things listed include, “A girl I’m trying to date.”
Finally, a real man, like a real historical knight takes what he wants (how do you think they originally became knights anyway). That is to say, if there is something he wants, he does what he must to achieve it. He doesn’t make excuses or come up with reasons to deter him in his goals. This goes back to being responsible to oneself. He simply does what is necessary. As men, we are designed by nature, to thrive on challenge and competition. If we weren't we would not be here, each one of us, is a decendent of the fittest, most successful males to have ever existed. If what you want is a big challenge to you, then you know it is something worth attaining. Theodore Roosevelt, once said, “Through self-discipline, almost anything is possible.” And if you don’t think there is truth to those words, I ask you, “Has you’re face been carved into the side of a mountain?” The world is a harsh and unfair place. In a society where traditional masculinity is quietly shunned, even if subconsciously yearned for by the opposite sex, we men must learn to navigate through societies treacherous waters. Fortunately, we can do this the way men always have, by utterly and truly “manning up.” By taking action instead of wishing or complaining; by being true to ourselves, and what we want; by being what we choose and forging our own destiny instead that which has been selected for us. And because he is a creature of his own making, he is proud of it, and doesn’t apologize for it. That is how a man separates himself from the boys and Golden Retrievers. That is how a man defies the unhappiness that life and society can bring. That is how the mantle of manhood is earned, nay, taken.
Being Masculine in a Feminine World
Women have always had a genetic disposition to choose the “strongest” and “fittest” mate. Thus since humanity’s earliest history, men have had to compete for the “right” to breed. In this way, a man was required to be strong/smart enough to prove to the prospective female, that he would be able to provide for her and their children. Because as strong as women are, a pregnant women’s body would not be able to physically handle the stress of tracking a deer for miles, killing it, and hauling the carcass back home, without risking damage to the unborn child. And for thousands of years, that’s what men were, men of action--laborers that did what was necessary for his family to survive. Fast forward to today, with all of our modern convenience, and that ability becomes irrelevant to, much of the world. Moreover not only are many men free of the burden of “hard manual labor,” but women are no longer reliant upon it. And herein lays the problem. Not, that women not relying on a man is a bad thing, but that much of a man’s traditional role has been stripped from him. From the, “everyone is a winner,” “Circle of Friends,” schoolyard games that are played in today’s schools to the draconian child custody laws, our society is dominated by women centric views, which by natural consequence, has left huge swathes of men either not knowing, or ashamed of their inner selves. Today, when someone is asked to describe a man, what do they usually say? They use terms which often describe the men of yesteryear. Terms like strong, decisive, in charge, stoic, takes action, are often thrown around. They almost never include terms like, sensitive, emotional, thoughtful, generous, friendly, or weak. Or do they? Admittedly, all of these terms apply to men some of the time, and have always done so. But it has been only until recently that women began describing most men, using the second set of criteria, and not in a positive way. From Cosmopolitan to the View, they all ask, where have all the good men gone? And that’s just it, they haven’t gone anywhere, because of today's society, they have just never had a chance to develop. Society has brainwashed men into thinking the qualities that make them men are both improper and unseemly. If you’re muscles are too big, you’re a meat head. If you’re too intelligent, you’re a nerd. And in heaven forbid you voice a complaint, then you’re a wimp. In fact the only thing society hasn’t forced out of today’s men, is the ability to “bear it.” If bad stuff happens to you, society just says, “Man up, and take it like a man.” This is the largest problem of all. Men are TOO used to taking it. Without the other qualities of maleness, this roughly turns today’s men into neutered Golden Retrievers ready to please. And while many women love their dog, they never respect it. We all know of the situation where a woman wears a low cut top exposing her cleavage for the world to see, but then complains that men look at her breasts. And if she calls the man out on it, what do most modern men do? They get embarrassed and feel awkward, just like a little neutered puppy should.
So what can we do about this? Well, if you’re one of these men, and you’re here then you’ve already made the largest step. You’ve used your nature given intellect to figure out there is something wrong with this picture. And like a REAL man, you’ve decided to do something about it. That is ultimately the point. Real men do; and not just for the sake of doing whatever it he is doing, but for himself, and no one else. If he must voice a complaint, he does so, but amidst attempting to fix the problem--always while doing. A Golden Retriever pleases others, a man pleases himself. It is not the Golden Retriever’s actions that give him pleasure; it is that which someone else has to bestow upon him that does. This is the fundamental difference. Should a man wish to help another, he should do so, regardless of the outcome, because it is ultimately (at least on an emotional level) not about those being helped, but about his unselfish want to help.
Men have always been beings of action. “Doing stuff” is in all of our natures. But that isn’t all. A real man has a deep rooted sense of responsibility. But with this, he must have the ability to distinguish what he is responsible for. For example, many men say, “I gave her everything. I treated her so well, and yet she still left me.” Often referred to as “White Knight Syndrome,” this stems from the man’s, ingrained instinct to “help” and “take care of” a women’s “needs,” which was necessary, when in a harsher age. But let us ponder this for a moment. These women, at this time, could they not walk? Were they horrendously injured in some way? Did they have no income of their own? No? Then why was it necessary to wait on them hand and foot, like a servant? Why was it necessary to buy her everything her heart desires? It wasn’t. This White Knight wanted to, because society tells him, that if he did, she would be his forever. But in reality the opposite was true. It was true because, this White Knight isn’t really a Knight at all. For a Knight, was someone who took what he wanted at the point of a sword (in this day and age, metaphorically of course). All this man has really done, is proven that he isn’t a man at all, but a Golden Retriever in white armor, wagging his tail as he runs around in circles trying to please his master for just one pat on the head. A man is first responsible for and to (this is even more important) himself .Women of today, will never need the kind of support and protection they needed as recently as even a hundred years ago. They can do things for themselves, so let them! If a man bends over backwards for them, without equal reciprocation, not only is that NOT equality, (wasn’t that what the whole women’s rights movement was about?) but he is no longer being responsible in regards to himself. He is turning himself into a slave, which is certainly not the type of individual a well-adjusted woman would want to become her mate. That is not to say that a real man is hedonistic, or shirks responsibility all together. A real man takes responsibility for himself, his actions (the consequences of them), and those he may be responsible for (i.e. children and other dependents). And as you can see, none of those things listed include, “A girl I’m trying to date.”
Finally, a real man, like a real historical knight takes what he wants (how do you think they originally became knights anyway). That is to say, if there is something he wants, he does what he must to achieve it. He doesn’t make excuses or come up with reasons to deter him in his goals. This goes back to being responsible to oneself. He simply does what is necessary. As men, we are designed by nature, to thrive on challenge and competition. If we weren't we would not be here, each one of us, is a decendent of the fittest, most successful males to have ever existed. If what you want is a big challenge to you, then you know it is something worth attaining. Theodore Roosevelt, once said, “Through self-discipline, almost anything is possible.” And if you don’t think there is truth to those words, I ask you, “Has you’re face been carved into the side of a mountain?” The world is a harsh and unfair place. In a society where traditional masculinity is quietly shunned, even if subconsciously yearned for by the opposite sex, we men must learn to navigate through societies treacherous waters. Fortunately, we can do this the way men always have, by utterly and truly “manning up.” By taking action instead of wishing or complaining; by being true to ourselves, and what we want; by being what we choose and forging our own destiny instead that which has been selected for us. And because he is a creature of his own making, he is proud of it, and doesn’t apologize for it. That is how a man separates himself from the boys and Golden Retrievers. That is how a man defies the unhappiness that life and society can bring. That is how the mantle of manhood is earned, nay, taken.
