Stacks Of Terror
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2007
- Messages
- 77
- Reaction score
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So let start this where it started. I met lets call him King last year. He was the first dude I met who was good with females and everytime I hung with him felt like a learning experience. I have no doubt that at that time and possibly this time I felt/feel like a clinger to him.
Then I met his cousin lets call him Prince. We had a class together and met through our mutual love of ****ing with the teacher. We started seeing each other around school more often and became some pretty damn good friends. Now one thing these two guys did that I always envied was they did what they meant and meant and meant what they said. Prince said he was gonna be a rapper and he puts his heart and soul into it. He says he's gonna smoke a blunt at school and blw it in their face he'll do it. Same with King but me not so much.
So one thing they always did that made me feel somewhat excluded was they would often go smoke. Now I never was really into that, I'd always wanted to experiment with it but it was something I always figured I was too much of a ***** to do but I always lied and acted like I was interested when they would go to smoke or whatever but had something to do.
STRIKE 100567
One day me and Prince missed our respective buses and went to this church program. A group of our mutual friends had been trying to get us to for a while. It was basically a bunch of kids playing ball and then getting rides home after eating church food. So we ended up picking up our mutual friend Ni who just happened to have a blunt on him. We roll around to the church, walk off and the two of them end up smoking. Me being the little lying punk I am I went with them acting like I was the freshest smoker alive.
So we get off church ground and they light it up. It goes between them and its my turn and I said **** it I'm going to tell the truth and said I ain't know how to smoke it. Ni was cool about it. He just said "Hey we all got to start somewhere," and passed it to me. My first time getting high and I know I looked like a fool as both were looking at me like an idiot because I couldn't stop laughing. Anyway we roll back to the church and Prince passes up on staying and walks to his home which was right around the corner. We don't talk about it till the next day.
I show up at school more or less completely having forgotten the previous days events or maybe just blocking them. Prince walks up and here we go. But luckily he kept it mostly to himself just clowning me when we were by ourselves skipping that day. He told King but he didn't seem to care and just brushed it off. More or less we were cool. No one really said anything about it so it was all good. Then one day I just happened to have a 10 on me and that meant I had to buy some weed. Me being the basically virginal dude went to this one guy got shortchanged on a dime bag and got my other boy Teer. Teer had also by now heard the story. He didn't care he just wanted to get high so he rolled it up and we went and got Prince. Prince was just joking like "Man you a bad influence on this kid. He wasn't a smoker y'all some *******s."
But then me and Princes teacher rolls up and we all run away dropping the blunt looking suspicious as hell but we were good as our ROTC teacher took the blunt and "disposed of it" as he said. We end up not talking about that for a few days. Now we have another friend Big E who may possibly be semi-retarded. He's better with females that me I guess. He knows more but he also ends up pissing more off and getting into it with them more often. He is a cool guy at times but other times rubs me the wrong way, he's become part of the click though so he's tolerated. Anyway Big E, Prince and me are all in class today and have nothing to do. Prince says he's gonna clown me on that **** today and like I said he meant it. So he clowns and then here comes Big E. He wants to know whats so funny and so the story gets told he laughs, Prince laughs, hell I laugh because you know what I ****ed up. So anyway Big E takes it a step further and says those oh so fateful words that make freshman boys faint, only I'm not a freshman and I should be past this, "Are you a virgin?"
I tried to play it off at first but he was persistent and I said **** it I'm going all out today. I told him "No."
STRIKE 200567
He asked who and I knew if I said I wasn't going to tell I'd really be written off as a fake.
It just occurred to me how much a ****ing idiot I am and how stupid it was of me trying to impress these guys who can be replaced in 10 seconds flat.
So back to the story I end up saying a girl I know who's interested in me. Lets call her Cooch. Now she's a high 5 low 6 and I only met her through liking her best friend. We've talked a few times. She's a nice girl with some weird style. I never cared about that I only cared about dropping the V card. So I've had her on reserve if I feel the situation calls for it. So I said she was the one got smashed. Now her cousin is retarded and most people think that her cousin is her little brother. King new her before me and was how I met her. So her being smashed by me has never been out of the equation. So I said I smashed Cooch and they laughed and joked around and it was cool.
Now I'm not the smoothest player but I'm good but these dudes I roll with are what one would call great. They don't simp/fall into AFC-ish tendencies and look great when I roll with them. It gives me a little social proof and thats always good. I've pulled alot of 8's and sometimes a few 9's but I'm no G with it and I always falter when its time for me to come through and close the deal.
So we end up laughing joking with Prince and Big E and eventually King joining in. Its all good in my mind at the time I deserved it. I am such a sheep. That deserves its own strike.
STRIKE 300056
So we're all laughing with King being the main one to doubt me. However his doubt is a faltering one and it drops quick or at least to the back of his mind and he ends up just laughing. We're all laughing like its fine but its not and I can feel it coming on. So I skip 3rd hour out of depression and just chill. My neighbor Z is skipping and hanging with him provides momentary relief and makes me realize I don't need those jokers but we this ends all too soon and here comes Prince and King and Big E. King is pretty quiet and I can tell he's waiting to explode but I ignore the haunting feelings and take it. Big E chills out most likely from him missing half of his deformed monkey brain. Prince says he's going to chill out because he sees I'm starting to get mad and we're good.
I don't see them dudes for a few hours. I see Big E afterwards and he's all but forgotten it. However he has told a few kids about my first smoking experience and they've told a few kids who've told a few kids who have been surprisingly quiet. So we end up skipping our 6th hour classes and go sneak into an ROTC class with a substitute. We are all watching I Am Legend. and King and Prince are walking out of class with this girl who's like a 9 and I'm just chilling. So she says King stole a dollar from her playfully and I just felt like ****ing with him so I said "You using these girls now King?" He exploded out with "At least I didn't stick my **** in....." and shuts up abruptly. The girl he was messing with immediately turns to me and I felt burned so I got dejected. I could tell the girl had wanted me to say something to her she was looking at me every 5 seconds as if she expected me too and I was so mad that I just froze in my chair for a few minutes.
Left out of the class and walked up towards the busing area till the bell rings. I find Prince and Big E. Both don't say anything about my lies and I'm still a little mad. We end up walking off. Prince gives me a weird ass offer. He says man come over to cousins house. He's got an ounce and we're all going to smoke and if you come through I'll drop all of this. I set it up and walked away to go home and fall asleep because I was a little depressed.
The main things I've realized reading this are:
1. DJ principles work for everything not just females. Both these dudes making fun of me only made me want to get in tighter with them.
2. Lying to fit in is not worth it. I was more down with these guys before I lied than ever. However I still wanted in because I was insecure about my place in the pack.
3. Be A Leader. Being so willing to follow and weak to there group pressures has made me realize I was being a follower. DJ's are not followers they are leaders. They rise above the sum of their parts and move onto greater things.
4. Face Your Mistakes Like A Man. I'm ready to face this head first. Its Spring Break and I'm not gonna lie anymore. I'm a man and the only thing I've realized is that I've forgotten this. I'm going to A. Do what I have to do. B. Be true to myself at the same time and C. Become my own man. I was a lackey. I was slacking on being a DJ because I thought these guys were a vital piece to the puzzle. They aren't. I am the puzzle and I already have all the pieces I just need to assemble them and stop losing some of them in the process.
I'm going to do what I said I was and take it like a man. If they want to clown then **** them they aren't worth 2 ****s to me. I'm going to man up and prove myself as a man. I am better than this and everyone knows it. I'm going to rise up and do my thing.
If anyone wants I can update you guys on the situation as it happens/ed later this week. Also I have an actual question/issue I need advice on. I'm mixed with a high yellow skin color. I feel pressured by my black peers and friends to be better than them. I live down south if that has anything bearing. I feel like they expect me to do better with females and in school and generally life because of my skin color. I don't know but it feels weird.
Then I met his cousin lets call him Prince. We had a class together and met through our mutual love of ****ing with the teacher. We started seeing each other around school more often and became some pretty damn good friends. Now one thing these two guys did that I always envied was they did what they meant and meant and meant what they said. Prince said he was gonna be a rapper and he puts his heart and soul into it. He says he's gonna smoke a blunt at school and blw it in their face he'll do it. Same with King but me not so much.
So one thing they always did that made me feel somewhat excluded was they would often go smoke. Now I never was really into that, I'd always wanted to experiment with it but it was something I always figured I was too much of a ***** to do but I always lied and acted like I was interested when they would go to smoke or whatever but had something to do.
STRIKE 100567
One day me and Prince missed our respective buses and went to this church program. A group of our mutual friends had been trying to get us to for a while. It was basically a bunch of kids playing ball and then getting rides home after eating church food. So we ended up picking up our mutual friend Ni who just happened to have a blunt on him. We roll around to the church, walk off and the two of them end up smoking. Me being the little lying punk I am I went with them acting like I was the freshest smoker alive.
So we get off church ground and they light it up. It goes between them and its my turn and I said **** it I'm going to tell the truth and said I ain't know how to smoke it. Ni was cool about it. He just said "Hey we all got to start somewhere," and passed it to me. My first time getting high and I know I looked like a fool as both were looking at me like an idiot because I couldn't stop laughing. Anyway we roll back to the church and Prince passes up on staying and walks to his home which was right around the corner. We don't talk about it till the next day.
I show up at school more or less completely having forgotten the previous days events or maybe just blocking them. Prince walks up and here we go. But luckily he kept it mostly to himself just clowning me when we were by ourselves skipping that day. He told King but he didn't seem to care and just brushed it off. More or less we were cool. No one really said anything about it so it was all good. Then one day I just happened to have a 10 on me and that meant I had to buy some weed. Me being the basically virginal dude went to this one guy got shortchanged on a dime bag and got my other boy Teer. Teer had also by now heard the story. He didn't care he just wanted to get high so he rolled it up and we went and got Prince. Prince was just joking like "Man you a bad influence on this kid. He wasn't a smoker y'all some *******s."
But then me and Princes teacher rolls up and we all run away dropping the blunt looking suspicious as hell but we were good as our ROTC teacher took the blunt and "disposed of it" as he said. We end up not talking about that for a few days. Now we have another friend Big E who may possibly be semi-retarded. He's better with females that me I guess. He knows more but he also ends up pissing more off and getting into it with them more often. He is a cool guy at times but other times rubs me the wrong way, he's become part of the click though so he's tolerated. Anyway Big E, Prince and me are all in class today and have nothing to do. Prince says he's gonna clown me on that **** today and like I said he meant it. So he clowns and then here comes Big E. He wants to know whats so funny and so the story gets told he laughs, Prince laughs, hell I laugh because you know what I ****ed up. So anyway Big E takes it a step further and says those oh so fateful words that make freshman boys faint, only I'm not a freshman and I should be past this, "Are you a virgin?"
I tried to play it off at first but he was persistent and I said **** it I'm going all out today. I told him "No."
STRIKE 200567
He asked who and I knew if I said I wasn't going to tell I'd really be written off as a fake.
It just occurred to me how much a ****ing idiot I am and how stupid it was of me trying to impress these guys who can be replaced in 10 seconds flat.
So back to the story I end up saying a girl I know who's interested in me. Lets call her Cooch. Now she's a high 5 low 6 and I only met her through liking her best friend. We've talked a few times. She's a nice girl with some weird style. I never cared about that I only cared about dropping the V card. So I've had her on reserve if I feel the situation calls for it. So I said she was the one got smashed. Now her cousin is retarded and most people think that her cousin is her little brother. King new her before me and was how I met her. So her being smashed by me has never been out of the equation. So I said I smashed Cooch and they laughed and joked around and it was cool.
Now I'm not the smoothest player but I'm good but these dudes I roll with are what one would call great. They don't simp/fall into AFC-ish tendencies and look great when I roll with them. It gives me a little social proof and thats always good. I've pulled alot of 8's and sometimes a few 9's but I'm no G with it and I always falter when its time for me to come through and close the deal.
So we end up laughing joking with Prince and Big E and eventually King joining in. Its all good in my mind at the time I deserved it. I am such a sheep. That deserves its own strike.
STRIKE 300056
So we're all laughing with King being the main one to doubt me. However his doubt is a faltering one and it drops quick or at least to the back of his mind and he ends up just laughing. We're all laughing like its fine but its not and I can feel it coming on. So I skip 3rd hour out of depression and just chill. My neighbor Z is skipping and hanging with him provides momentary relief and makes me realize I don't need those jokers but we this ends all too soon and here comes Prince and King and Big E. King is pretty quiet and I can tell he's waiting to explode but I ignore the haunting feelings and take it. Big E chills out most likely from him missing half of his deformed monkey brain. Prince says he's going to chill out because he sees I'm starting to get mad and we're good.
I don't see them dudes for a few hours. I see Big E afterwards and he's all but forgotten it. However he has told a few kids about my first smoking experience and they've told a few kids who've told a few kids who have been surprisingly quiet. So we end up skipping our 6th hour classes and go sneak into an ROTC class with a substitute. We are all watching I Am Legend. and King and Prince are walking out of class with this girl who's like a 9 and I'm just chilling. So she says King stole a dollar from her playfully and I just felt like ****ing with him so I said "You using these girls now King?" He exploded out with "At least I didn't stick my **** in....." and shuts up abruptly. The girl he was messing with immediately turns to me and I felt burned so I got dejected. I could tell the girl had wanted me to say something to her she was looking at me every 5 seconds as if she expected me too and I was so mad that I just froze in my chair for a few minutes.
Left out of the class and walked up towards the busing area till the bell rings. I find Prince and Big E. Both don't say anything about my lies and I'm still a little mad. We end up walking off. Prince gives me a weird ass offer. He says man come over to cousins house. He's got an ounce and we're all going to smoke and if you come through I'll drop all of this. I set it up and walked away to go home and fall asleep because I was a little depressed.
The main things I've realized reading this are:
1. DJ principles work for everything not just females. Both these dudes making fun of me only made me want to get in tighter with them.
2. Lying to fit in is not worth it. I was more down with these guys before I lied than ever. However I still wanted in because I was insecure about my place in the pack.
3. Be A Leader. Being so willing to follow and weak to there group pressures has made me realize I was being a follower. DJ's are not followers they are leaders. They rise above the sum of their parts and move onto greater things.
4. Face Your Mistakes Like A Man. I'm ready to face this head first. Its Spring Break and I'm not gonna lie anymore. I'm a man and the only thing I've realized is that I've forgotten this. I'm going to A. Do what I have to do. B. Be true to myself at the same time and C. Become my own man. I was a lackey. I was slacking on being a DJ because I thought these guys were a vital piece to the puzzle. They aren't. I am the puzzle and I already have all the pieces I just need to assemble them and stop losing some of them in the process.
I'm going to do what I said I was and take it like a man. If they want to clown then **** them they aren't worth 2 ****s to me. I'm going to man up and prove myself as a man. I am better than this and everyone knows it. I'm going to rise up and do my thing.
If anyone wants I can update you guys on the situation as it happens/ed later this week. Also I have an actual question/issue I need advice on. I'm mixed with a high yellow skin color. I feel pressured by my black peers and friends to be better than them. I live down south if that has anything bearing. I feel like they expect me to do better with females and in school and generally life because of my skin color. I don't know but it feels weird.