Man...I really need some inspiration here, i feel down...

[bfl]

Well basicly iim just asking yall to chare me up , what better place to ask but here.

Basicly what happened is me and my gurl aint talking....and this is the dumb reason why.

Last night i told her that i needed to talk face to face to her about our relationship, she insisted that she wanted me to tell her right then on the phone, so i did( although i think things like this are a face to face must).

So i told her that i didnt like a good amount of things that she was doing and what i thought about how our RL, how is going downhill cause of her "Interest level dorp" from month 1 to now month 5.

So i told her how we never go out, we dont even talk to each other and we dont have sex no more, and how is a RL gonna work if non of this things take place?...the sex part was on me though cause i did it in purpose , i didnt give her no sex for a week to see if sex was all tha she was looking for and it seems like it, but even when she gets it she still acts like she dont give a fuk.

So we ended the convo, on a good note....well there was a 45 minutes of silence of the phone but she fall asleep she said so i told her that i would talk to her tomorrow she said ok.

Then today i see her and she totally ignores me, and does not say a word to me, so basicly she is mad at me and i aint even do jack, we ended the convo on a good note, now without me doing nothing she decides to give me the silent treatment and ignore my ass and get mad at me, and my friends cause she is not talking to them neither.

Thats really fuked up, i open up to her and i tell her how i feel about us, and she gets mad over it and now doesnt say a word to me.

What should i do here, i mean today she ignored me so when i saw she did that so did i, cause before ill go after her like a dumbass "crying" pleading her and begging her, whats wrong with her and whatnot but i told her a while ago that i dont like that disrispect of ignoring me and treating me like i aint ish, when she mad , specially in this situation where i did nothing wrong.

Whats should i do here? keep igoring her and let her come to me whenever she gets over it? lol over what though, i did nothing other than open up to her and express to he how i feel and how f'ed up what she is doing is.

 

[Wyldfire]

Almost sounds as if you made something out of nothing...meaning it doesn't sound like anything was really wrong but you looked until you found something to bring up.

She's probably ignoring you because she has no idea why you would be upset in the first place and therefore doesn't know how to react. Oh, and if she actually fell asleep on the phone then you had to be kinda droning on and on. And why on earth didn't you just hang up when she stopped responding to you? 45 freaking minutes? Jeebus!

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again.

bfl, you and your girlfriend both deserve to be single because neither of you deserves to have to put up with the bullsh1t of the other one. break up with her, grow up, and move on.

 

[bfl]

??

Ok......wyld i really dont know what u saying... i wasnt mad about it i was just not happy with those things that she is doing, so i decided to tell her, ive been wanting to tell her that for the longest but i didnt, hoping that she would change it. And yes iwas droning on and on for about 20 mins. She didnt fall asleep while i was talking though, cause when i was done she didnt say a word but i could hear her coughing and "fake crying"

so basicly what did i do wrong? i did and said nothing to make her mad.

 

[belividere]

so she was fake crying and coughing after you withheld sex from her for a week and then she acted aloof when you were pissed at the non-existant situation.

Seriously I agree with wyld here you seem to have made up a situation based on what you consider "DJ" principles and decided to test her on them. What the hell were you holding out on sex for? Really though no one can actually know what your situation is except you two. Maybe you should just reconsider your expectations and what your actions will be interpreteted as.

 

[bfl]

i mean damn we use to have sex everyday, and it does get boring having sex everyday with the same person, i could swear that a read somewhere in the dj bible that sex should be varied, maning go at it for a whole week straight then go a few days without then go at it again then 2 weeks w/out, u konw...

so i guess im wrong here, she doesnt wanna go out, she doesnt call me at all, when i do she dont pick up the phone, so basicly we dont communicate, when i ask her to please dont do certain things cause i dont really like em, she jumps out and says that im controlling her, when im just asking her not to do things that i dont like just like i dont do things that she dont like.

Yet im wrong here, man really i cant believe this...Talking about issues/dislikes/differences and how a bf/gf RL is going with your mate its a no no.


...... I THINK ITS REALLY ME THEN, IM STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT ITS JUST ME AND THAT SHE IS RIGHT FOR BEING UPSET AT ME, WHEN I CALMLY WAS TALKING TO HER ABOUT OUR RL, NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS , NO SCREAMING SHOUTING... NON OF THAT, YET SHE GETS MAD FOR A REASON THAT I STILL DONT KNOW, AND YALL AGREE THAT ITS JUST ME, SHE SHOULD BE MAD AT MY ASS CAUSE IM TALKING ABOUT OUR RL

 

[belividere]

I've been in a few LTR's before I even found this site and with all of them they weren't boring or predictable by the 5th month. Really from my experience the sex should definetly still be regular well past the 5th month. If that is a problem so soon in then it is indicative of far deeper problems and maybe you should consider thinking over those before making any decisions. I dont consider dating for a few months (typically 2-3, being serious possibly even 5) anything to be that big of a deal. Realistically it is during this time that you discover how a person truly is. If you decide it isn't right for you than good for you. If you have doubts and continue to move forward you may be rewarded or it may be much tougher for yourself. Really though at this point your relationship is hardly long term. Your problems are pretty substantial and maybe you should consider just finding someone who is more compatible.


If her interest level dropped from month 1 to month5 than you have been given a hardcore barometer of your relationship. Serioulsy after 5 months if the girl was showing high interest and not being a slut then she is most likely willing to open at this time. Instead your sex is already trivial and you are holding back. I haven't ever experienced that before. At 2-6 months depending on upbringing and personal history a girl is comfortable and opening up her inner-*****. You instead are being left jerking off and not getting sex. Maybe you should consider her actions and just pick up the pieces and move on.

 

[bfl]

to be honest with yall i dont give a damn about what happens next, im fed up of her always getting mad for bs, shell dig in every single letter u say and find something to get mad about.


Fuk it

 

[Wyldfire]

You know, bfl...we can only offer input about what you actually post. What you posted didn't tell any of us what it is she's doing that you don't like or what it is you say she's always getting mad about. What you posted just basically sounded like you were just lecturing her over nothing because you never told us what it was actually about.

No one can really help you with the situation if you leave out all the facts.

 

[PRMoon]

You need to break up with this girl. You two are not meant for one another. If things have been like this for the bulk of your breif relatinoship, then there's really no foundation to build anything positive on. Your relationship was doomed well before your phone conversation gone wrong.

But let's get to the heart of the matter. You tried to have a proactive conversation with a girl you're in a relationship with and she did very little or nothing it seems to participate in that conversation. Face to face or not, it was probably going to happen that way anyway.

Your lines of communication I susspect were never there to begin with. I imagine the two of you never really developed them when your relatinonship was in it's fledgeling stage. Now you've gone this long without open lines of communication and it's caught up with you. So the only way she knows to communicate with you is not to communicate at all.

I've never been in a relatinoship where communication hasn't been the most important factor/tool. Since you don't have that you really don't have a shot at decent relatinoship anyway. You should both part ways and try again with someone else.

 

[bfl]

Ok the reason why i wanted to talk to her was because i didnt like 3-4 things.

We dont go out no more.

We dont communicate

We dont have sex as often (Exclude this past week)

Her interest level drop.


Ok now for the "We dont go out no more"

I simply told her that i dont like the fact that we are not going out no more, and that i get the impression that she doesnt want to spend time with me, i see her as a LLLLTR and i want to be with her as much as possible, without being annoying, or a pain on a tooth.


"We dont communicate"

Before she use to call me eeeeeeeeeverynight i mean every night she use to call me and text me, shell text me like 10 times a day, well see each other during the day, when we done seeing each other shell call me to see if reach home, and then shell call me at to tell me goodnight, now the chances of her calling me or texting me at at all in a day are the same odds of counting the exact number of how many rain drops droped last time it rained. And when i do call 90 percent of the time she doest pick up her phone.

"We dont have sex as often"

This really wasnt an issue i just wanted to let her know that she has gotten a bit lazy and i dont appreciate it neither.

Add all this 3 together and it leads to

"Interest level drop"

"As a matterfact i told her "See how at the beggining u was all into me and now ur nor like u was before?" and she said yeah so obviously she admitted to it. i wanted to know why is it.


Now all this i told her just talking like a regular person would, there was no screaming, cussin, namecalling, non of that. after i finished talking she fell asleep and after like 30 mins of silence she hung up without saying nothing. So i called her back and i told her " u fell asleep?" she said yeah with a sleeeeepy voice so i said ok ill talk to u tomorrow and she said yeahhhhh with a sleepy voice, end of convo.

Now tomorrow comes, and for my surprised she walks right pass me without saying hi and ignores me for the whole day, havent talked to me the whole day not one word, so now somebody tell me what i did wrong and why she is mad at me for?

Exacly, i did/said nothing for her to get mad, that goes to prove my previous reply.

But again maybe im alucinating, and im really wrong here and not seeing things, so i would like yall now that i explained with details all that i talked to her about, to tell me whats the best thing to do now that she aint talking to me and ignoring me.

 

[bfl]

Originally posted by PRMoon


But let's get to the heart of the matter. You tried to have a proactive conversation with a girl you're in a relationship with and she did very little or nothing it seems to participate in that conversation. Face to face or not, it was probably going to happen that way anyway.

Your lines of communication I susspect were never there to begin with. I imagine the two of you never really developed them when your relatinonship was in it's fledgeling stage. Now you've gone this long without open lines of communication and it's caught up with you. So the only way she knows to communicate with you is not to communicate at all.

I've never been in a relatinoship where communication hasn't been the most important factor/tool. Since you don't have that you really don't have a shot at decent relatinoship anyway. You should both part ways and try again with someone else.

nail the coffin right there ^^^ ima print this as a matter of fact and kinda recite this to her ( dont worry ill make it sound like its coming from me)

After reading that i feel better about my situation and he not talking to me, seriously

 

[Wyldfire]

Her interest level dropped because you are suffocating her with too much attention. She's pulling away because you've overdosed her on intimacy. When she pulls away like that do NOT try to give her MORE intimacy. If you do that she will pull away even more. If you just let her have the space she needs then when she wants more closeness she will reach out for it. If you want her to want that sooner then respond to her pulling away by pulling away yourself. Then it will be HER that goes to you instead of vice versa.

I call this the "Rubberband Technique". If she pulls away and you pull away a little more then she will snap right back.

Hopefully you can still make this work for you. However, since you did the exact opposite of what you should have done she might be too far gone to get to snap back now.

Good luck.

 

[MrHarris]

Originally posted by bfl
Well basicly iim just asking yall to chare me up , what better place to ask but here.

Basicly what happened is me and my gurl aint talking....and this is the dumb reason why.

Last night i told her that i needed to talk face to face to her about our relationship, she insisted that she wanted me to tell her right then on the phone, so i did( although i think things like this are a face to face must).

Your first mistake was not getting your way. If you wanted face to face then you as the man should of controlled the situation and gotten your way.

Originally posted by bfl
So i told her that i didnt like a good amount of things that she was doing and what i thought about how our RL, how is going downhill cause of her "Interest level dorp" from month 1 to now month 5.

Let me see, her interest level has dropped drastically. Why are you still with her again????

Is she deserving of your time? Your on a site that teaches you how easy it is too meet and date women, why would you even settle for less?

Have you read the bible and done the boot camp?

Originally posted by bfl
So i told her how we never go out, we dont even talk to each other and we dont have sex no more,

I don't mean to seem cheap and superficial but NO SEX???? Again why are you still there suffering the AFC lifestyle?

Originally posted by bfl
and how is a RL gonna work if non of this things take place?...the sex part was on me though cause i did it in purpose , i didnt give her no sex for a week to see if sex was all tha she was looking for and it seems like it, but even when she gets it she still acts like she dont give a fuk.

Ok let me get this straight. Your the one who isn't iniating sex here right. And this woman still acts this way....and your still with her??? right????

OH boooeeey! Here is what Doc Love has to say about this situation:

No. 2 Rule: Never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you - Doc Love.

It's simply amazing what a man will put up with, or go through, to gain a woman's acceptance.

Originally posted by bfl
So we ended the convo, on a good note....well there was a 45 minutes of silence of the phone but she fall asleep she said so i told her that i would talk to her tomorrow she said ok.

Oh no, this is totally unacceptable. She fell asleep on your big talk. What does this tell you about her interest level in YOU?

Originally posted by bfl
Then today i see her and she totally ignores me, and does not say a word to me, so basicly she is mad at me and i aint even do jack, we ended the convo on a good note, now without me doing nothing she decides to give me the silent treatment and ignore my ass and get mad at me, and my friends cause she is not talking to them neither.

Thats really fuked up, i open up to her and i tell her how i feel about us, and she gets mad over it and now doesnt say a word to me.

What should i do here, i mean today she ignored me so when i saw she did that so did i, cause before ill go after her like a dumbass "crying" pleading her and begging her, whats wrong with her and whatnot but i told her a while ago that i dont like that disrispect of ignoring me and treating me like i aint ish, when she mad , specially in this situation where i did nothing wrong.

Whats should i do here? keep igoring her and let her come to me whenever she gets over it? lol over what though, i did nothing other than open up to her and express to he how i feel and how f'ed up what she is doing is.

Ok, I cannot read another word of your sad tale. This is a nightmare man. NO man should have to put up with this kind of behavior from any woman that they are in a relationship with.

I'm sorry if I am not cheering you up but in the words of Doc Love:

To answer your question straight up; your girl isn't acting like someone with high Interest Level. She may have been interested before, but she isn't now. Whether her change of heart was due to your actions or to her true Interest Level finally surfacing isn't your concern - your objective is to correct your mistakes for the next girl. So, forget sending her flowers, calling her, or even e-mailing her - you've done enough. Instead, let's focus on improving your dating performance for future dates.

Can you say NEXT!!!!

As one poster on here said give her the gift of missing you as you move on to two new women.

What you need to do is start ignoring her and do not pick up or return her phone calls. Start going out with your friends and meeting other women.

If you want to mess her up when she does call mistakenly call her by the wrong name after you answer the phone.

Doing this will reverse the game and make her desperate instead of you.

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by bfl
Well basicly iim just asking yall to chare me up , what better place to ask but here.

Basicly what happened is me and my gurl aint talking....and this is the dumb reason why.

Last night i told her that i needed to talk face to face to her about our relationship, she insisted that she wanted me to tell her right then on the phone, so i did( although i think things like this are a face to face must).

So i told her that i didnt like a good amount of things that she was doing and what i thought about how our RL, how is going downhill cause of her "Interest level dorp" from month 1 to now month 5.

So i told her how we never go out, we dont even talk to each other and we dont have sex no more, and how is a RL gonna work if non of this things take place?...the sex part was on me though cause i did it in purpose , i didnt give her no sex for a week to see if sex was all tha she was looking for and it seems like it, but even when she gets it she still acts like she dont give a fuk.

So we ended the convo, on a good note....well there was a 45 minutes of silence of the phone but she fall asleep she said so i told her that i would talk to her tomorrow she said ok.

Then today i see her and she totally ignores me, and does not say a word to me, so basicly she is mad at me and i aint even do jack, we ended the convo on a good note, now without me doing nothing she decides to give me the silent treatment and ignore my ass and get mad at me, and my friends cause she is not talking to them neither.

Thats really fuked up, i open up to her and i tell her how i feel about us, and she gets mad over it and now doesnt say a word to me.

What should i do here, i mean today she ignored me so when i saw she did that so did i, cause before ill go after her like a dumbass "crying" pleading her and begging her, whats wrong with her and whatnot but i told her a while ago that i dont like that disrispect of ignoring me and treating me like i aint ish, when she mad , specially in this situation where i did nothing wrong.

Whats should i do here? keep igoring her and let her come to me whenever she gets over it? lol over what though, i did nothing other than open up to her and express to he how i feel and how f'ed up what she is doing is.

All I have to say is this: "TOUGH TIMES NEVER LAST BUT PEOPLE DO!"

 

[Royal Elite]

It's clear as day she does not "feel" the same way for you now that she did before. Her energy is very guarded, why, only you know. If you are true to yourself you have a clue. She may be cheating, you may be suffercating, the relationship may have skip through stages to quick (learn to stop and smell the roses with life), or many other reasons.

It's clear she is different then you, and she is giving clear hints that that is the case. You are asking for communication and actions speaks louder then words,and her actions are clear. Im guessing that you have become a rerun. No matter how interesting a show is there are but so many times you can watch the rerun of it before you cant stand it. You seem to be predictable and boring because you are stating any predictable behaviour she had as something you want, but women dont like predictablity.

You traverse this earth once and the soul wants to experience as much as it can so no one likes the same old routine. All I can tell you is this, whatever you "routine" has been you need to change it. Her soul has become restless with you, and you may be able to change it, and if not you will learn for the next time.