Male friends esp. "best friends"

[trv26]

We all know how problematic male friends can be. On the one side u don't want to end up being cheated on, on the other hand, u don't want to seem insecure and lose her interest.

So, would really be interested in knowing ur views on what the boundaries w.r.t ur gfs male friends should be.

 

[1984]

One of my best friends is a girl, and she broke up with her boyfriend partly because of his insecurities about her hanging out with me all the time. Like she'd pass out drunk at my place, and he'd call her 30 times. **** like that. He even tried fighting me once. It was cute.

He still insists that I'm the sole reason for their breakup (dude's been on meds since she left him), despite the fact that she started dating somebody else almost straight away. Poor guy.

I can't exactly blame him for being jealous, to a point, but maybe if he hadn't sent her threatening e-mails (while they lived together), or sat around playing WoW 8 hours a day, and actually made some effort to spend some time with her, he wouldn't have been dropped like a two-ton heavy thing. Maybe.

 

[Sexual]

Pass out drunk at your place? That man guy can find better chicks than ones that hang out with douchebags like you 1984. You should be passing out drunk at women's houses. You're holding that woman back from living her life. Get some balls and make a move on her--hanging out with a chick all the time? Good Lord. Waste of a read.

trv26 there's a number of possibilities that could be happening with that chick and her "bff" guy. The possibility that the guy she hangs around all the time is a prissy little wank is only one of them. It's not insecure to ditch a woman that would rather play barbies with her guy pal. There's women out there that would die for your time.

 

[trv26]

out of interest 1984, would you honestly say u were never interested in her sexually. And whatever the truth, anyone would be concerned about a gal passing out drunk at a friends place.

Also, consider the hypothetical situation that due to work or distance or other such legitimate reasons u cannot always get to spend as much time as you lyk with ur girl.

In such a situation its likely time would be spent with frens some of whom could be from long before I/you met her. What is acceptable in such a case and whats not? Also how do you convey ur point without seeming insecure?

 

[1984]

Douchebag?

The reason she passed out drunk at my house was because he treated her like a piece of **** (I'd seen it first hand, especially the night of his sorry attempt at fighting me), got drunk, and was afraid of going home to this headcase. She walked over here, and I let her sleep it off.

This guy is still threatening to break into her new apartment and ****. I'm so sure he deserves "better chicks" acting like such an *******.

And I'm not exactly sure where you get off telling me to "get balls" so I can "make a move" on one of my friends. Let me guess... you're one of those "I only hang out with dudes, so we can get all sweaty and wrestle." type of guys?

Thanks for sharing your opinion of me.

 

[Black Minx]

Wow does this sound like my ex bf. almost word for word lol.

Guys, seriously, if ur girl has a guy as her best friend, let it be. especially if theyve been best mates for more than a year.

My ex broke up with me several times and tried to fight my best mate, and he found out 2 weeks after I ended it that my best mate was also my cousin.

hows that for being bitten in the a$$?

Dont be jealous, it wont do anything helpful for you. Besides if you dont trust her then what are you doing with her?

 

[trv26]

"Besides if you dont trust her then what are you doing with her?"

.....Trust is important, but if u read the stats on infidelity etc. and more often than not its the guys who trust too much who get cheated on. I'm sure u'll agree we guys are right to be a little worried.

 

[ready123]

Besides if you dont trust her then what are you doing with her?

exactly

if you find yourself turning into psycho guy, just stick to ONS's

hint: psycho guy is at 8:15 of this video

 

[1984]

out of interest 1984, would you honestly say u were never interested in her sexually. And whatever the truth, anyone would be concerned about a gal passing out drunk at a friends place.

Also, consider the hypothetical situation that due to work or distance or other such legitimate reasons u cannot always get to spend as much time as you lyk with ur girl.

In such a situation its likely time would be spent with frens some of whom could be from long before I/you met her. What is acceptable in such a case and whats not? Also how do you convey ur point without seeming insecure?

No, I was never interested in her sexually. I mean, she's a beautiful girl, but I've known her for a long time, and I know how much of a burden she carries (edit: I guess I shouldn't say "burden", but she went through a divorce because her husband was cheating on her, and I became friends with her after that started, but before she found out and filed for divorce. Anyway, as a rule I don't hook up with divorced women.). I found her interesting, and liked hanging out with her. Simple as that. Plus she always looked out for me and hooked me up with her friends.

I'm not sure what's acceptable with time and distance restraints, but in the example I gave, the guy lived with her and had all the time in the world to spend with her. Despite that, he communicated with her through e-mails (I think they slept in seperate rooms, not sure, he wouldn't allow me in their apartment), and spent all of his free time playing WoW. She works at a bar that was only a block away from their apartment, and yet he couldn't find the time to walk down there and hang out with her for an hour or two after her shift. Ever.

Also, her and I lived together before the two of them started dating, so I don't think he had the right to act like an jealous ******* when she said she'd rather go to the bar with me than sit at home and stare at the wall while he played video games all night.

Anyway, I think there's a point to my *****ing here. As long as you don't act like this guy, and your girlfriend doesn't have a used condom sticking out of her hair the next time you see her, you should be ok. If you feel you can trust her, trust her. If not, you should break up with her and find somebody with no male friends.

 

[splinterkb]

One of my best friends is a girl, and she broke up with her boyfriend partly because of his insecurities about her hanging out with me all the time. Like she'd pass out drunk at my place, and he'd call her 30 times. **** like that. He even tried fighting me once. It was cute.

He still insists that I'm the sole reason for their breakup (dude's been on meds since she left him), despite the fact that she started dating somebody else almost straight away. Poor guy.

I can't exactly blame him for being jealous, to a point, but maybe if he hadn't sent her threatening e-mails (while they lived together), or sat around playing WoW 8 hours a day, and actually made some effort to spend some time with her, he wouldn't have been dropped like a two-ton heavy thing. Maybe.

Don't even try to say you wouldn't be concerned if your woman was hanging out with some guy all the time and sleeping at his house drunk. And how can he spend time with her if you're hanging out with her all the time?

To me, it sounds like you ARE the main reason they broke up. Even if you KNOW that absolutely nothing happened ever.. whats to make him think that she wasn't lying to him about just being friends with you?

I have a friend that sounds kinda like you, and he is the BIGGEST ****block for this girl I have ever seen. Its awful.

 

[Master Bates]

Pass out drunk at your place? That man guy can find better chicks than ones that hang out with douchebags like you 1984. You should be passing out drunk at women's houses. You're holding that woman back from living her life. Get some balls and make a move on her--hanging out with a chick all the time? Good Lord. Waste of a read.

You're not as smart or insightful as you think you are. In fact, you come off as a dumbass.

 

[1984]

Don't even try to say you wouldn't be concerned if your woman was hanging out with some guy all the time and sleeping at his house drunk. And how can he spend time with her if you're hanging out with her all the time?

To me, it sounds like you ARE the main reason they broke up. Even if you KNOW that absolutely nothing happened ever.. whats to make him think that she wasn't lying to him about just being friends with you?

I have a friend that sounds kinda like you, and he is the BIGGEST ****block for this girl I have ever seen. Its awful.

Ok. Until I found out how much of a flying **** this guy really was, I was the one helping this guy keep things together, always telling her she needed to make compromises and telling her to go home to her boyfriend instead of getting drunk, and the like. I tried getting along with the guy. I used to ask her to call him up and invite him out. I even tried avoiding her for three months so they could spend more time together. She was trying to dump him for a year before the night his stupid ass tried fighting me FOR TAKING HER HOME TO HIM after she blacked out I had to fight off some other ******* who was trying to take advantage of her.

I'm such a ****ing villain!

 

[1984]

Don't even try to say you wouldn't be concerned if your woman was hanging out with some guy all the time and sleeping at his house drunk. And how can he spend time with her if you're hanging out with her all the time?

To me, it sounds like you ARE the main reason they broke up. Even if you KNOW that absolutely nothing happened ever.. whats to make him think that she wasn't lying to him about just being friends with you?

I have a friend that sounds kinda like you, and he is the BIGGEST ****block for this girl I have ever seen. Its awful.

Ok. Until I found out how much of a flying **** this guy really was, I was the one helping this guy keep things together, always telling her she needed to make compromises and telling her to go home to her boyfriend instead of getting drunk, and the like. I tried getting along with the guy. I used to ask her to call him up and invite him out. I even tried avoiding her for three months so they could spend more time together. She was trying to dump him for a year before the night his stupid ass tried fighting me FOR TAKING HER HOME TO HIM after they got into a fight, and she drank until she blacked out, just so I could fight off some other ******* who was trying to take advantage of her.

I'm such a ****ing villain!

 

[splinterkb]

Ok you didn't include ANY of that before.. you pretty much said that you hang out with her all the time and she passes out drunk at your place.. You're suprised that he was skeptical of you guys? She obviously wasn't interested in him anymore if you had to TELL HER to go hang out with him instead of you or to even call him to do something. He probably assumed that her interest left him and went somewhere else.. i.e. you and her hanging out all the time. Maybe you should have told her to (figuretively) grow some balls and break up with him so none of this would have happened. You can't "try" to break up with someone for a YEAR!!!

 

[drak_ool]

i guess i m kind of ambigous on this one. On the one hand, i have some girl-friends who I've always been good friends with and we hang out a lot but there is nothing sexual b/w us, so their boyfriends have nothing to worry about. On the other hand, i have girl-friends who I ve always build sexual tension with through playful flirting and kino... and sometimes things have escalated to more, especially when alcohol was involved. 2 of these "girl-friends" ended up cheating on their boyfriends with me.

So when I was on the other side of the wall, having my (ex) girlfriend hang out with some guy friend, i didn't always know how to react. Most of the time I would be pissed, but that was because she told me that all (or most) of her guy friends wanted her, and I knew some of them even "confessed their love" to her around the time we started dating. So, ya, when she would want to hang out with them i would not like it. Same goes for ex boyfriends-turned-best-friends. Usually the guy has to have some interest in her. But then again, I ve recently reconnected with a former gf (of over 5 years ago) and we ve been good friends, even though i don't want to hook up with her.

 

[KontrollerX]

If you can't seem to avoid chicks with guy friends just try and select a chick for getting involved with out of that pile who seems to have a healthy attitude towards other chicks ie she is friends with them, she gets along with them, she has a best female friend, etc.

Chicks that say they can't get along with anyone other than guys are who you need to fvcking a-goddamn void at all costs.

Good luck brother.

 

[Sexual]

I've been around the block with ONS and LTR more than most here. You guys that try to compete over one woman for her time and affection are TOOLS. Enjoy your life fukc heads while I enjoy mine.

My advice is to leave them and protect your heart. A woman should want your time as much as you want hers (unless you play the field).

 

[nando]

LOL at losers getting insecure.

 

[PRMoon]

I think the bigger picture here is being missed. You should position yourself in a relationship where you shouldn't have to worry about your girlfriends male friends. If you're in a committed relationship and you worry about things like that you're already planting the seeds of your destruction. You either trust someone or you don't, there is no middle ground in for which you can "kinda" believe in someone.

If I'm seeing a girl and she knows I have good friends who happen to be female an she got paranoid about my relationship with said friend, then I inturn start to wonder if she's thinking about it because she either doesn't trust me or, and this has happened more then once to me, she's seeing someone else an is trying to some how brainwash me in being her mindless slave...your common AFC as it's known.

Fortunately I don't trust too many people male or female. It's how I've kept myself out the serious trouble I see alot of people get into. I believe very strongly that many people have an adgenda behind their actions whether they aware of it or it's something rooted in their subconsious. Still avoiding it by always keeping and eye out, and understanding acceptable risk is a very good habit to get into.

 

[tick37]

I am the man, and I could give 2 sh1ts if she hangs out with some dude because he's not me and will never be me. If she wants to run off with someone else then so be it. If she wants to be some guy's friend then so be it, but he better be willing to be friend, too. I won't play the jealousy game, but she better play her cards right with me because I don't dance to her rhythm. She'll dance to mine or we'll have to rethink the situation at hand.