Male Friends Again

[zekko]

This really has nothing to do with my life (my girl is well behaved), but I was reading a thread on the RSD Forum which got me thinking. I can really relate to some of those guys on there.

I have no problem with my girl talking to guys, in real life or on Facebook, or texting them. Where I would draw the line is her going out to dinner with some dude, or some dude inviting her over to his house to "hang out" or hear some music or whatever. I trust her, but I think it would be disrespectful of her to put me in that situation where I would HAVE to trust her.

I think the main issue with "male friends" comes down to EQUITY.
Since men are the pursuers and women are passive, it is easy for women to accept an invitation to lunch or whatever, and then pass it off innocently as being okay because he's "just a friend". Yeah, a friend who secretly wants to fvck you, no doubt.

This is a problem because in order to keep things EQUAL, you as a man must go out and invite some woman to lunch (because men are the pursuers, and you can't rely on random women asking you out). The problem with this is, if I'm going to be asking some hot chick out to lunch, I am more than likely going to want to fvck her. It's the male nature.

I would rather just consider one on one lunch dates to be off limits, and not have to deal with the BS. That's my answer.
But for the guys who are just fine with their girls going out with "male friends", how do they handle it?

 

[Strelok]

I think the guys who are fine with their girls hanging out with some other dude are not fine at all,they just think that tolerance on a lesser event will avoid them some annoying time with their girls.
They are actually digging their own grave by not setting any limit,it's just like when your 8yrs old son say that he is not going to school and you allow it.

 

[Paintballguy]

I lay the law down with any chick that I'm dating when it comes to hanging out with dudes. I make it well known from the beginning that I don't tolerate that. If they don't like it, they can leave.

 

[DropZone3]

It's okay for a woman to hang out to dinner or private location with a man so long as he is gay....

 

[jophil28]

Where I would draw the line is her going out to dinner with some dude, or some dude inviting her over to his house to "hang out" or hear some music or whatever. I trust her, but I think it would be disrespectful of her to put me in that situation where I would HAVE to trust her.

Make no mistake, fella's - women who hang out with, or date, male "friends" relish the tittilating buzz of knowing that those guys want to F her any time, any place that she says...
This is pure vagina power at work. She has her A guy who F's her, and she has her orbiter male friends who WANT to fukk her.
These woman are drowning in validation .
No wonder their ego's are so bloated.

 

[zekko]

It's interesting that no one in this thread is advocating letting the girls have their play dates. In the general Discussion area, you hear a lot more guys say they don't care if their girls go out with their male friends. Maybe it's because I posted this in the Mature Man section.

When I was a young guy, if a girl wanted male friends I just figured I had to go along with it or I would look jealous and insecure. This is the same thing the young guys today are taught. I really do think this is feminine conditioning. Now that I'm older I realize I don't have to put up with this BS. And apparently the other older guys here realize it too.

 

[betheman]

When I was a young guy, if a girl wanted male friends I just figured I had to go along with it or I would look jealous and insecure. This is the same thing the young guys today are taught. I really do think this is feminine conditioning. Now that I'm older I realize I don't have to put up with this BS. And apparently the other older guys here realize it too.

couldnt agree more

 

[Strelok]

It's interesting that no one in this thread is advocating letting the girls have their play dates. In the general Discussion area, you hear a lot more guys say they don't care if their girls go out with their male friends. Maybe it's because I posted this in the Mature Man section.

When I was a young guy, if a girl wanted male friends I just figured I had to go along with it or I would look jealous and insecure. This is the same thing the young guys today are taught. I really do think this is feminine conditioning. Now that I'm older I realize I don't have to put up with this BS. And apparently the other older guys here realize it too.

You have a good point but also keep in mind the common "shaming tactics" that suppress any freedom of speech for politically uncorrect talking.

 

[Colossus]

My philosophy is that I'm never going to tell a woman I'm dating what she can and cant do. I will, however, make it clear what I consider disrespectful. I dont care if she doesnt share the same view, or if her friends dont share the same view, or if her mother doesnt share the same view. It's MY boundary. So, if that boundary is crossed, there are consequences. The consequences depend on the context.

 

[Nemic]

My marriage started ending because I didn't get "jealous" of other men. My wife actually wanted to make me jealous that some other guy had peaked her interest, to the point she claims she attempted to have an affair with him but he rejected her.

I agree with Colossus. Make your views/stances on the subject known, without caring if it pisses her off or not. Any woman that doesn't want to adhere to your principles deserves to be NEXTed. If you are okay with her playdates, and she is okay with it, and you are happy, do what works for you.

If she is for it, and you are against it, she'll sh|t test you at some point on the subject and require more effort. Up to you if you are willing to deal with the extra effort or not.

 

[The Duke]

I was with the same woman for many years and totally trusted her and never was the jealous type when it came to her and other guys. She was free to do whatever she wanted. We had a solid relationship built on trust. Nothing was ever questioned........until one day.

I after a few weeks of asking her what was wrong and her not admitting the truth I finally called her out. She went and f'd some other guy.

This guy was a work colleague and they got together at happy hours and developed a relationship. Next thing they are f'ing each other.

I WILL NEVER EVER ALLOW MY NEXT WOMAN THESE FREEDOMS. THERE WILL BE NO FACEBOOK OR ANY OF THAT CRAP. IF SHE GOES OUT IT WILL BE WITH ME. I WILL LIMIT HER TIME SPENT AT HAPPY HOURS AND GIRLS NITE OUT.

WOMEN ARE WEAK INDIVIDUALS AND GET OFF ON ANY ATTENTION ANOTHER MALE MAY PROVIDE. I WILL ELIMINATE EVERY OPPORTUNITY THAT I CAN.

 

[Annapolis Sailor]

It's interesting that no one in this thread is advocating letting the girls have their play dates. In the general Discussion area, you hear a lot more guys say they don't care if their girls go out with their male friends. Maybe it's because I posted this in the Mature Man section.

When I was a young guy, if a girl wanted male friends I just figured I had to go along with it or I would look jealous and insecure. This is the same thing the young guys today are taught. I really do think this is feminine conditioning. Now that I'm older I realize I don't have to put up with this BS. And apparently the other older guys here realize it too.

I was going to say the same thing.

No, you do not have to go along with it. And I never make it a point to "lay the law down" with them. When I date someone, I simply observe. I never say, "Hey, now, if we are going to be together, then you have to bring me along when you see one of your single male 'friends' ". I does not work that way. A woman with strong integrity already knows this. And unfortunately, women like that are few and far between. I goes without saying and is implied conduct. Immature women do not have this in their nature. That is where you see these left over hags in the 35 and over crowd congregating and complaining that there are no good men to be found.

If I see a glaring red flag that is a deal breaker, I do just that - I break up with them. The older you get the more you will protect and covet your mental and physical health. It is amazing to say that in time you develop a sixth sense and can rapidly disqualify a woman in a mere few seconds. My experience has been time and time again that when you find a compatible female you really do not have to work at it. She will carry the conversation, show interest, and close the deal.

 

[Zunder]

Anyone ask "why" she wants to go out with male "friends"? If you are the boyfriend shouldn't she be wanting to spend time with you?

I know everyone needs a 'break' to go and do their own thing now and then - but if that "thing" for your woman is to go out with male "friends" then I call bullsh!t on the whole relationship.

 

[DropZone3]

I thought I was cool and indifferent when my ex started hanging out with another man until one thing lead to another like women like to say...

 

[The Duke]

If I see a glaring red flag that is a deal breaker, I do just that - I break up with them. The older you get the more you will protect and covet your mental and physical health. It is amazing to say that in time you develop a sixth sense and can rapidly disqualify a woman in a mere few seconds. My experience has been time and time again that when you find a compatible female you really do not have to work at it. She will carry the conversation, show interest, and close the deal.

I have began to develop that 6th sense and sometimes I almost wish I hadn't. How many of these girls do I have to filter thru to find one that you speak of?

 

[Colossus]

I'm of the opinion that >90% of men your woman hangs out with outside your relationship will fvck her in a second if given the chance. I'm a man, I know how men work. There may be the odd guy who isnt really attracted to her and is only interested in friendship, but these guys are the exception. And if your girl is an 8+, you can pretty much rule out that exception.

All that said, trying to rule over her socializing with an iron fist is a losing battle. You can and should make your boundaries clear, but at the end of the day her cheating or fooling around is a decision that SHE has to make. Yes, she will rationalize it, yes, she will blame you for things getting to this point, and no, she probably wont try to make amends. So what does that leave? Qualify, qualify, qualify; make your boundaries clear, and keep your side of the street clean.

 

[Strelok]

Anyone ask "why" she wants to go out with male "friends"? If you are the boyfriend shouldn't she be wanting to spend time with you?

I know everyone needs a 'break' to go and do their own thing now and then - but if that "thing" for your woman is to go out with male "friends" then I call bullsh!t on the whole relationship.

So it's our fault again? It's getting harder than keeping a job.

 

[jophil28]

"I knew Tony for a year before I met you. Why don't you allow me to see my men friends ?"

"For the same reason that I would not lend my Lexus to a guy who I know wants to steal it."

 

[Annapolis Sailor]

I have began to develop that 6th sense and sometimes I almost wish I hadn't. How many of these girls do I have to filter thru to find one that you speak of?

@Howiestern:

My stats are as follows 10-3-1.

10 dates (of women who are interested - not flakes). 7 immediate rejects. 3 will be keepers. And ultimately, you settle on 1.

 

[synergy1]

I'm of the opinion that >90% of men your woman hangs out with outside your relationship will fvck her in a second if given the chance. I'm a man, I know how men work. There may be the odd guy who isnt really attracted to her and is only interested in friendship, but these guys are the exception. And if your girl is an 8+, you can pretty much rule out that exception.

All that said, trying to rule over her socializing with an iron fist is a losing battle. You can and should make your boundaries clear, but at the end of the day her cheating or fooling around is a decision that SHE has to make. Yes, she will rationalize it, yes, she will blame you for things getting to this point, and no, she probably wont try to make amends. So what does that leave? Qualify, qualify, qualify; make your boundaries clear, and keep your side of the street clean.

As I said in another thread a few months back, as soon as I left the state and my gf, she had a few of her orbituers make moves. Was I worried when I was here? not really. Did I think they would try and make a move? Of course...guys are predictable, especially those who just linger around waiting for you to make a bad move or something.

If my chick wants to hang with guys every so often, its cool. I am not a jealous type and actually encourage time apart. The issue would be if it started disrespecting my time, and if it became a regular thing. One has to be keen and go with their gut...if shes hanging out with other guys more than you, the attraction isn't quite there. A chick who is into you will make time for you, not other dudes. Pretty simple stuff right there.

What women don't understand ( or dont want to understand) is that 90% of their guy 'friends' just want to **** them. It doesn't make sense that when these guys make their moves, and they will, that the women is totally caught off guard. Its like, really??? you didn't see that one coming?