Making moves [Warning: Long post]

[source]

So yeah ... here's the story. I've known this chick (HB9-10) for quite awhile, went on a few dates with her a couple years ago but nothing really ever happened because I was honestly way too busy for a relationship as I work a more than full time job. I heard she was pretty damn interested in me though and supposedly she thought I wasn't into her and managed to get with some other guy. She's really insecure from what I heard, I don't quite understand it though because she is damn hot.

Her family is pretty close to my family and they get together a lot, and she lives decently close.

Anyway I haven't really talked to her in years for the exception of my grad party where she stopped by for a couple of minutes with her boyfriend... and then left.

One day, (a few days ago to be exact) she just IMed me out of nowhere after about a year or so of not communicating, and I found out somehow my sister gave her my screen name. We started talking, exchanging fluff, etc. It was really weird because she started to come on very strong ... lots of suggestions that we get together to hang out, and the way she was talking was like she was scared that she was going to piss me off or something. It's kind of cool because it seems like she's chasing me.
If she was idle for like 5 seconds she would start explaining herself profuciously "sorry about that I was looking at a magazine blah blah"

And the instant I signed on earlier the other day she messaged me: "Don't think I'm waiting for you to come on or anything, but I just wanted to say hi!"

Anyway, she starts telling me about how I should call her if I'm bored, and we can "hang out or something" - and she throws over her number. RIGHT after that she starts telling me how she's going to be "SOooooooo bored" the next day, and her parents are going to be gone at a wedding. Believe me, I can take a hint when I see one, and gladly offer to come over to keep her company.

Now the real killer. Boyfriend. Should have seen this coming. And the horrible thing is she brings him up a lot. I'm assuming that's because of her insecurity, or maybe she's trying to show me that she gets lot of attention to impress me or something, because after all I did kind of play her like she wasn't good enough before.

So anyway, I make my way over to her house the next day - (a little bit late ) and we start talking and getting to know each other better all the while I'm laying down a classic C&F routine. Interestingly enough she leads me down to the basement couch and we just chill for awhile talking. Anyway, the night pretty much went this way, we laughed, generally got to know each other pretty well, we went out to dinner etc. I managed to get some kino in, not very much but a little is better than none. Anyway, I ended up leaving four hours later, and I'm sitting here wondering to myself if I should have made some moves.

My biggest problem is actually making the moves. I have yet to kiss a single girl in my life, yet I manage to attract tons of them. (Weird eh?) I am good at building rapport, I can maintain a chicks attention, and I can be comedic and get her to laugh. I know she finds me very attractive, and it seems like I have everything going in my favor. But I have no clue how to transition from that happy / joking state to a serious and lustful state that will get me laid. Does that come after I work in a lot more kino? Should I be initiating more serious conversations that evoke FEELINGS? And not to mention the boyfriend block that's really getting in the way. She has been only complaining about him though when I'm near.

Anyway, any advice on actually making moves would be GREATLY appreciated. Esp. where you already have a girl interested, you can make her laugh - but want to take it further. I wish I would have known how to do that before, because I think I could have easily got some action that night if I knew what I was doing.

Anyway, thanks for any advice, and sorry for the huge post.

 

[shyguy]

man oh man

MAn you were in like that. I believe this chick was feeling extremely horny and you didnt make moves. She invited you over knowing no one would be home, took you down starirs to the basement alone!! right there i would have just put in some kino grabbing her hand on expressions and then started to feel her a little more. you could have banged out right there.

 

[Knicknack]

no problem on the long post. you explained it well. seeing as how you just registered and only have 8 posts, i'm going to try to explain this out for you instead of just directing you to the DJ bible.

chicks are often like you and me. they want attention and they need their egos stroked. this girl you are hanging out with is no different. you keep saying how she talks about her BF a lot. this is one of the worst red flags of the "friendship zone" you can receive. as soon as you start listening to her sorrows, she puts you in the same category as her girlfriends.

when i first start dating a chick i might ask them a question or two about thier ex-boyfriends just to feel them out. i want to see where the previous guy messed up and what her thoughts are towards it. i NEVER let her start pouring her feelings on me.

once she places you in the friend zone it's damn near impossible to climb out. i would suggest talking to more girls and just writing this one off as a learning experience.

 

[xblitz44x]

She wants to do you. No doubt. I'll say it again, she wants to do you. Whether she will or not, is another question. And if you really *could* take hints, you'd see it's pretty damn obvious.

""Don't think I'm waiting for you to come on or anything, but I just wanted to say hi!""

This is a biggie. A lot of guys on this board CHOOSE to not listen to women because they don't understand them. They turn their heads and label what women say as "chick logic". It's not WHAT a woman says, it's WHERE those words came from. Why would she feel the need to say that she's not waiting for you? Does EVERY person that you talk to say that to you if they aren't waiting for you? What we feel, so long as we feed it attention...will always manifest in our actions.

In this case, she likes you, she wants to do you. She's TRYING to hide it but it doesn't matter. It's inevitable. By TRYING to not show it, she's showing it even more. Which is leading in the direction of making her desires manifest in reality. It's natural, compulsive. And the only things that will stop the dynamic now is withdrawl of her attention via some type of threat.

The threat may be your impact on her current relationship. I don't know how much she values it, or the details of it; but it's evident that she's missing something by being in it. There's something she perceives in you, that she's not getting out of her current relationship. Figure out what it is...and feed it to her.

You fvcked up by not kissing her, but you'll get another chance. She's dropping hints all over the place. Feed her some of what she needs, then let her adjust to it. A step at a time. Let her indulge in you, to the point where *he* becomes a threat to the gratification that she is getting from you.

 

[source]

Originally posted by Knicknack
you keep saying how she talks about her BF a lot. this is one of the worst red flags of the "friendship zone" you can receive. as soon as you start listening to her sorrows, she puts you in the same category as her girlfriends.

Nah dude, I diddn't listen to her ***** about her boyfriend. When she brings him up I usually change the subject, or just act neutral about it.

 

[source]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
You fvcked up by not kissing her, but you'll get another chance. She's dropping hints all over the place. Feed her some of what she needs, then let her adjust to it. A step at a time. Let her indulge in you, to the point where *he* becomes a threat to the gratification that she is getting from you.

Yeah dude, like I said, I have NO IDEA how to get to the point where I can kiss her. I would just feel invasive by leaning over and kissing her with no warning. Obviously I shouldnt do that. So that leaves kino before the kiss? I read on fastseduction I need to establish an emotional connection? I really really need help in this area. How to transition from that funny / aloof type of atmosphere to a more lustful state. I need to know wow to work this girl into actually kissing me when I have oppourtunities like this. I have never tried, and I have never been kissed. I'm not going to pass that oppourtunity again. So if anyone could give me any tips on this I would be very very appreciative. Thank you for your quality information xblitz44x, that was some constructive harsh criticizm that I needed. I am craving more!

 

[xblitz44x]

Ok...well here is the "Happy Meal" version (as Aramas would say). Try this....

Go out on somewhere with her. Somewhere where there is billiards, darts, air hockey, video games, SOMETHING that you can compete with her. If not, make a bet with her. Do SOMETHING to compete. And just before you play, say "Hmmm, lets make it interesting. What do you want to play for?" And if she says "What?", say "Ok, I got it...whoever wins, gets a massage...deal?" If she's into you, she'll indulge. Let her win, but don't let her know that and don't make it transparent.

Take her back to your house, somewhere where you are alone. Then think "Aww, crap, that's right...I owe you a massage...Ok...lay on your stomach, lets get this over with : )" Start rubbing her back. Rub her for a good 2 minutes. Then slide your hands under her shirt so that you're just barely touching her bare skin. Tease and lightly, barely touch her bare skin. Then say "You know, I've heard that when you do this, even if my fingers are a few centimeters away, you can feel me without us making physical contact".. Try it and she'll verifty it.

Eventually you're going to have to make a move. Say 'Ok, you're done' and plant a kiss on her cheek while she's still on her stomach. A quick one, but a kiss. Then flip her around...look her in the eye and kiss her. You have to do it. I can't do it for you. Well, I can...you know what, that's a better idea, what's her number

 

[source]

Haha goddamn, I wish I had friends in my area like you that could give me some real advice, I feel like such a fcking chump. I swear I learned more in this thread than I've learned in like 2 years.

Anyway, thanks again for the info - going to try that approach. Hope it works, I think she's into me enough that it will. It's just I usually don't have the balls to make moves. (I've never tried to make one) I feel uncomfortable and invasive, and just generally get worried she's going to pull back and be like WTF.

Would you say that a kiss is usually followed up after kino? Generally you would have to turn the girl on before kissing her, so the best way I am assuming is physical contact of some sort. So any excuse I can get to touch her in some way or another (the longer the better I am assuming) will help, right?

I think my problem is I usually just keep things light and funny. Blegh. No more of that.

 

[xblitz44x]

"I feel uncomfortable and invasive, and just generally get worried she's going to pull back and be like WTF."

That fear is going to paralyze you from experiencing great things. Why do you feel she's going to back off and say 'wtf'? Why do you feel you're so unattractive that a girl would do that? This girl LIKES you, and if she does turn her head, it's not because she didn't EXPECT you to kiss her (because she definitely does)...it's just because *she's* not ready to indulge outside of her relationship. Nothing that you should get all worked up about. Sure there will be that moment of being awkward that we've ALL been through but you'll get past it and laugh.

When you're in the situation, and it's time to play ball, FORGET the fear. Know that it's going to try to creep up on you...but don't indulge in it. Don't 'give it a face' by imagining what it could do to you "she could say WTF"...just keep blocking it and blocking it. You'll overcome it..

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Ok dude. Sitting with her, make sure you are close (doh). Then start doing kozy, nice and sensual touchings. Rubbing her arms, waste, thighs etc Start touching her nek/cheek, little feeling it, maybe just with a couple of fingers while you stare into her eyes. Then triangulate (Eyecontact, look down at lips, look up again)... Then just move your head inn for the kiss when it feels like her soul is aching for it.

 

[source]

Well ****. I'm going to give it a go. She has a dart board in her basement, so your idea will work perfectly in this situation. And she told me online to give her a call some time soon so looks like my mistake of not kissing her before wasn't too severe. Plus her BF is away for college, and she's at home every day. Lots of oppourtunity.

Now comes the task of learning how to kiss. ****. One thing after another.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Kissing is really easy, it's not something you easily fvckup but a couple of tips....

- Tongue; Don't stick it down her throat.... Feel her out how she uses her tongue and "mirror" it to an extent. I call this kissing-chemistry... It's how well and natural you make it feel...

- Speed; Don't rush it.... Slow sensual kisses are greaaat!

- Hands; Let her whole body feel the rythm of your kisses. Let her feel how gentle it is. That is if you are kissing sensually and pationately, let your hands and fingers run slowly over her body and that does not mean go straight to her ass. It means areas like her back, her neck, her hair. When I feel a girl is getting more and more aroused I like to tease her abit by "accidently" or "systematicly" run a finger or two close or barely over erogenous spots, like just barely onto her breasts in the start, closer to the nipples after a while. Circuling her thighs and doing strokingmotions towards the center without ever touching it. Stuff like that...

- Neck; If she gets really worked up it's great to occationally move your kissing to the neck area because this is a reaaaalllyyy sensual area (Which you will learn on yourself quick enough ).

Depending on how far you get, how worked up you get her, work your hands after that. Generally your goal should be to make her body feel like on fire