Making guy friends

[triple_ultima]

I looked in the bible but nothing really seems to cover this topic...How can I make guy friends? I just started college and seem to be having trouble meeting other guys to hang out with. I don't know what it is; it just seems like no guys I meet are ever interested in being friends with me.

I've never really been the popular type - always kind of been a loner. Now, however, I realize how important it is to have guy friends to hang out with; it's part of being a great DJ. Help me please - what can I do to be "popular" and to have other guys wanting to be around me?

 

[Barbillus]

Triple_ultima:

The first couple months should be the easiest time to make friends, especially in college.

First off, if you are not any fun to hang out with, dont have much of a personality, arent funny etc. Then people are less likely to want to be friends with you. If this is the case, you need to work on improving yourself. Develop hobbies, get more interesting interests that you can use to connect with other people. Go to the gym, start lifting. Talk about sports, etc.

Now you are asking about making friends, once you have developed the above... it should be very easy to make friends.
However, if you are trying to become friends with people already in an established social clique, my advice is to work on one of the members of that group and become friends with them.. from that you can span out and become friends with everyone else and be come part of the group. Just don tbe needy, or clingy, with new guy friends.. especially in the beginning.

Good luck.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Hey Ultima, how ya doing, doing better I hope based on your last thread I hope.

Sports, gotta watch sports.

 

[SealTeamSix]

I agree with above post. Basically, if you are a loner and not active person, get ready to do things that you do not enjoy nor have not done yet!

You really need to suck up and be out going. Take social classes, gym, any activity group .. but whatever u do, please please walk away from those Dungeons and dragon, unix, math clubs !! no matter how much you are tempted to solve that 3d puzzles .. stay away from those!

Oh yeah.. timing is everything here. If you do not make social freinds during frosh week or earlier stage of term, it'll be harder for you to make friends. So hurry up dude!

 

[triple_ultima]

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
Hey Ultima, how ya doing, doing better I hope based on your last thread I hope.

Sports, gotta watch sports.

Yes I am doing much better...I might post an update on that situation later, but let's just say I came out ahead in the end.

As for the last post, thanks, but I'm not some incredible nerd or something. I just have trouble making guy friends. I tend to not be very social when I'm around new people, so I think they don't find me very interesting, which is sad. I just have to learn to talk whenever I can.

In fact, I did that when I was down doin my laundry a few minutes ago. Me and some other guy were the only ones in here, so I made a comment and it started a conversation with him. I didn't get his name or anything, but it's a start. I just have to learn to stop being so timid and to start doing interesting things.

I used to be pretty popular because I would never shut the hell up...I had a comment on everything, and was always a smart a$$. For some reason, I got lazy and stopped talking to people. It may have been because I stopped taking my paxil, it may have been because I got a girlfriend (see my other thread for THAT messed up situation), or it may be because I'm in shock from being in a strange new environment.

Whatever the case, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of not being able to hang out with other guys...I want to make more friends, and I think I haven't just because I've been lazy and timid.

I am kind of afraid of coming off a bit...gay or maybe desperate. I mean I want to get some guy's phone numbers so I can call them to go party and stuff, but how? Argh.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Do you have any pubs or bars on your campus that you can visit?

 

[triple_ultima]

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
Do you have any pubs or bars on your campus that you can visit?

Uh I wish...I'm only 18 though.

 

[frivolousz21]

if you like sports that will help.

also do u workout?

u can talk to guys there about weight training..then IMMEDIATELY shift the convo to women.

shoot the ****.

and if he is cool to hang with. tell him when u go to some bar or party or if he does alot....wait for him to ask you to go. He will if you guys are cool.

 

[triple_ultima]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
if you like sports that will help.

also do u workout?

u can talk to guys there about weight training..then IMMEDIATELY shift the convo to women.

shoot the ****.

and if he is cool to hang with. tell him when u go to some bar or party or if he does alot....wait for him to ask you to go. He will if you guys are cool.

Yeah i've never really been one for sports, but I guess it would be good if i started...

I used to work out but now that I'm in a new place I find it's been too hard for me to make it to the gym lately...I'm gonna try my best to do it soon though.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Ok you're in college:

1.) join a frat that you feel best suits you. you will have a ton of friends, will never be out of plans, and will get to attend some of the best parties on campus (provided you join a good frat).

2.) get to know people in your classes, chill with them outside of class.

3.) go to the campus gym, get to know the regulars, etc.

 

[gmm567]

hi

I just read a book which you might find helpful.
It's called emotional intelligence by Danial Goleman.

In this book, they explain that the people who are
good at understanding and percieving others emotions become good at connecting.

I've always been a social isolate, and have had few really, really good friends. I've never had a great circle of friends.

Anyway in this book , there's one aspect of emotional
intelligence that popular people seem to have: they can
read peoples emotions from FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. They can
also read people's emotions from tone of voice and body language well too-something which I have no problem with. But,I am
pretty bad at at reading peoples emotions from FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, but according to this book you can learn
how to get good at it. The author of the book believes we should
be teaching this skill in high school and even before because
some kids never get proficient in social skills.

I have one good friend from high school who is absoluting
brilliant at interpreting emotions from people's faces and he makes friends easily. The insights he
has about situations seems to just go right by me.

Where do you live? I am always looking for new friends.

Geoff
Austin, Tx.

gmm567@yahoo.com

 

[Life-Trainee]

/\ I'm reading that book right now, really interesting info.

 

[triple_ultima]

Unofrtunately I live In New Jersey, so no dice there...

But thanks for the tip on the book; I'm really gonna have to check that out.

 

[Eroe]

never really thought about this, i usually make guy friends really well.

with guys, i think it's best to have something in common with them. i've had a lot of life experiences and have gotten to hang out with many different kinds of people, so it's somewhat easy for me to relate to them.

if you don't have hobbies or any interests to talk about with dudes, you won't meet any to be buddy-buddy with.

and confidence helps with making friends too. most people don't wanna hang out with losers that have no confidence or things they're interested in. like above mentioned post, you just gotta be able to shoot the sh1t.

 

[h2o]

last year was my first year in college, and i was new also. although, i never really thought of this before. thinking back on it now...i think a good way (other than the stuff mentioned above), would be to get to know your hb classmates. use this site, it rocks (i just stumbled here). then, guys will want to hang out with you because you 'know' girls. seriously, it's a respect thing.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Make plans yourself and invite people along don't lurk around and brownnose just to see if cats wanna take you somewhere.Take command of a conversation also so you can shiow people your real perosnality,that's all.


It easier than meeting hoes i'll tell you taht much..

 

[cannibustacap]

Try something like www.thefacebook.com Its for college students to get connected and form social networks through mutal friends, classes, and interests. Check it out, I'm on there but I go to UCLA so I can't be your personal friend. Sorry

 

[DJoystick DJango]

This book is a MUST-READ

Hej fellows

Anybody who is concious of the state of his social skills will benifit from this 1920's classic. It has been revised in 1981 and reprinted ...

Those who dont know how, will learn - and those that are good, will get better !

How to Win Friends and Influence People - by Dale Carnegie

This was the orriginal mother of all mothers of self-help books


Get it ! Read it ! Thank me later !

-JJ

 

[Dukester]

stop bein a loner! making friends is not hard at all. i've been in college for 2 weeks (4 days) and i've made over 10 guy friends, and they are in different cliques. they are all really cool people, and i share some common thing with each of them, so we get along well.

just bs w/ some guys and they will do it back. they're guys, they will bs.

just do simple convo, like "where you from, i'm from," "this class is cool/ this class sux doesnt it." just simple convo starters, same u would use 4 a chick.

if you have a prob w/ girls too, pm me

 

[MoveYourAss...]

If you do not really get ahead with it from the advise and are simply not used to beeing social, it might be a good idea to start the Boot Camp.
The beginning is mainly about confidence and approaching-connecting to people.
It is thus a possibility to get ahead in the guy friends thing as well as concerning the hotties.

At least this is what I do (just started these days), and it IS baby steps, but there IS strong effects.

Reading is a good thing (I know what I'm talking about) but it is VITAL (this part I also know...) to put the things into PRACTICE. Another point for the boot camp.

Or make a similar, datailed plan with numbers and dates.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow