Making compliments work

becker

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Now it has been talked about before, but here's a view on how to compliment a girl.

To me, it's important not to shower compliments, first and foremost. Too many compliments that are over the top will make a person feel like they're too above you, and eventually, it can get annoying.

However, even if you compliment very infrequently, doing it incorrectly may make even infrequent compliments have the same effect.

When you compliment, you can't say it in a way that puts her on a pedestal. The tone of your voice is important here. It needs to be sincere and assertive. Don't sound all mushy and like some spineless wuss looking for the girl to fall into your arms and just melt. Make it sound like it's a passing thing that you'd be ok if she didn't even acknowledge it (she'll will, trust me, even if she doesn't respond). Basically, compliment her without seeming like you're looking for anything in return.

If you compliment in a ****y manner, it makes you seem like a player who says that sort of stuff to all women, and it dilutes its meaning and sincerity. ****iness should be reserved for being funny and sarcastic.

If you compliment in a non-assertive, mushy manner, it makes you seem like you are insecure with being expressive and thus, displaying a lack of confidence in yourself.

Make the compliment short and sweet, nothing too elaborate, since it will not seem spontaneous enough.

There's a girl I know who I almost never compliment much on her looks. I only acknowledge things, such as, "you got a french manicure", or "you cut your hair" (works well if she cut off very little and you notice it), but rarely compliment on them, such as by adding "it looks nice". The other day she put her hair up in sort of a ponytail, but sort of with the end tucked back in, so that the end of the ponytail doesn't hang off. Anyways, she plays around with her hair a lot, putting it up, and putting it down, but never did it this way before. I said to her "I love how girls can just put their hair up like that and create an instant style", then I said "it looks cute". She kept her hair that way for the rest of the time.

Anyways, just another spin on a topic that has likely been discussed before. But who cares, I'm posting it anyways. What else is new?
 

akindofblue

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Good post. I've found that it helps to keep yourself focus on the object you're complimenting while you're giving the compliment. You like her orange toenails? Don't take your eyes off of them until you've delivered the compliment, at which point they go directly into her eyes with a smile. If you remove your eyes from the toenails and look her in the eyes, you're coming off as insincere.

I like your strategy about dropping ambiguous compliments. For instance, "Oooh, orange toenails!" or "You girls and your crazy toenails" leaves some room for joking around ("So why orange?") and also leaves the girl fishing for whether you're really complimenting her or not. The whole "I-might-have-just complimented-you" strategy shows her you're noticing her without coming across as a fake. Nice way of framing things, man. Thanks, I like that.
 

all_city

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Good post; I'm in agreement with akindofblue. Too many compliments are ridiculous, and too little make you seem cold. As you've said, the style of delivery is key.
 

becker

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Thanks guys, I'm glad someone took the time to read this post, it was up for a while with no replies!
 

Sammo

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Yeah I like the direction this thread is headed, here is my 2 cents:

Don't compliment them too much! (All ready been said, but its important and has to be stressed, it is one of the biggest mistakes i made as an AFC).

Compliment girls on this that would have taken them a long time to prepare. Hair, for example, if a girl looks like she has taken a lot of time to make her hair look good, comment on it! If you were the only guy to compliment her on her hair that day then she WILL remember you.

Dont compliment girls about there tits and ass, i have never seen someone do this with a positive result.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

becker

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Great point Sammo about the complimenting on things that the girl seemed to have taken a long time on, such as her hair. That always wins points, especially with a girl who puts premiums on looking nice.

A comment on a girl's sense of style can be a good lead into asking her to take you shopping for clothes, where you can spend more time with her.

Definitely agree with the T & A thing too, although I've never done it, it's pretty obvious that nothing good can really come of it unless the girl is a pornstar or something.
 

Boono11

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Good post. This is something i've been wondering about. I just needed some info. Also when giving a compliment, if you're giving it to a girl who probably gets compliments about her looks all the time compliment them on something else. Like for instance say something that has to do with something they are good at and you know they're good at. Just my 2 cents.
 
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