Making a girl wait 7 days; too long?

[JasonR]

Got the number on monday, and after 4/5 days it would be the weekend, which is a bad time to call, so im leaving it until monday.

do you think leaving it this long is going to have a detrimental effect? I'm thinking that if a girl made me wait 7 days, and i liked her, it would only make me more excited when she did actually call, as i would have thought she wasnt going to call.

Also, something i just remembered;

We have a fresher's ball on saturday, which she will no doubt be attending. Could it be a problem if i see her there, seeing as i havent phoned her? Or would that play to my advantage, because she would see me talking to more women, and would wonder why i havent called her?

The ideal situation obviously, would be for her to walk up to me while im talking to some women, and ask me why i havent phoned her and get angry, then i would know she was interested

Im thinking im going to call her monday mid afternoon and ask her if she wants to join me for coffee on wednesday at a certain time, at a certain coffee house, and then take it from there.


I will NOT arrange anything if i do see her on saturday night.


Does anyone here think i should call her before saturday night to see if she is going to the ball?


And another thing, is it a good idea to blow off a date the first time round, or get a friend to phone half way through it, and even if you're having fun, just get up and leave?

It seems like it might be a bit risky, but also a good way to leave before she knows anything about you, and it also shows that you put your friends before someone you just met (her)

I might go with a friend calling and just leave halfway through, as long as nobody here thinks that its a totally suicidal plan.

Thanks again guys.

 

[The TallOne]

I would call sunday night... most girls don't have plans sunday because of the new week starting. So, the chances of you getting in touch with her is pretty high.

Plus, calling at night has her in your mind before she goes to sleep... perhaps some dreams of you?

Good luck.

 

[JasonR]

sunday sounds good.
you think her bumping into me on sat will be a good thing?

also, setting a day for the date, do i give her a couple of days so she can def. fit it in, or do i make it next day?

 

[The TallOne]

I've had bad experiences with running into people prior to the "waiting process"..

I would say "Hey, how are you doin." Keep it a very small convo, and move on.

You could also.. dance with other girls, not caring if she is watching or not.

That'll probably drive her IL up a few points.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Do not wait seven days. You must strike when the iron is hot young grasshopper.

 

[JasonR]

Originally posted by The TallOne
I've had bad experiences with running into people prior to the "waiting process"..

I would say "Hey, how are you doin." Keep it a very small convo, and move on.

You could also.. dance with other girls, not caring if she is watching or not.

That'll probably drive her IL up a few points.

Yeah, seeing me with other girls could only do good, she would want to show me how she is better than those girls, if she likes me that is.

I kinda hope i do see her there now, haha.

 

[JasonR]

Originally posted by Cesare Cardinali
Do not wait seven days. You must strike when the iron is hot young grasshopper.

I thought that would only apply when looking to sleep with a girl on that night, or going in for the approach.

I thought when you get a number, making them wait is the way to go, calling too quickly makes you look desperate.

Striking while hot should be done when you see a girl give you that "look" you then POUNCE, or when you spot a girl you like, you act RIGHT away.

Or am i wrong?

 

[R3N3G4D3]

I got a question too, what if I meet a girl on saturday, then 3-4 days later (recommended waiting time) it will be wednesday, and on wednesday it's not recommended to make plans. And the next opportune time is next sunday, but that's 8 days of waiting and might cause detrimental effects. So when would I call?

 

[JasonR]

wednesday is fine.
although it is the last day you can call.

but i think it all depends on the interest level of the girl, 8 days for one girl might be exactly what she needs, and for another, it might totally crush her.


haha, i just answered my own question.

 

[The TallOne]

Originally posted by JasonR
But i think it all depends on the interest level of the girl, 8 days for one girl might be exactly what she needs, and for another, it might totally crush her.

Exactly.

Its all dependent on the girl...

I generally wait 3-5 days, maybe 7... depending on how busy I am.

 

[JT47319]

I close a lot of girls and always call back within a day. Quite frankly, I barely even remember what they look like after just two days. Something along the lines of "taller than me, pretty, blonde" and that's about all I remember and barely their face unless they're super hot.

Now imagine a hot girl. How many times do you think guys hit on her and give out her number? How the hell do you think she's going to remember you after a week?

 

[squirrels]

It depends on how much she's into you. Sunday sounds like a good bet.

 

[jakethasnake]

A week is too long. About 2-3 days is ideal, assuming that you were suave and cool about it when you picked up the number. I had a date with a very cute, slim, 5'5" 18 year old ethnic Hungarian on my recent trip to Germany, and she was very happy that I called in two days.


If you are worried that calling after 2-3 days is too "desperate", you probably didn't make much of an impression anyway. If you made an impression on her, you would be glad to hear from you even after one day. Trust me on this. You can't create attraction thru absence - that's only after you get into a relationship (as the saying goes, "absence makes the heart grow fonder").

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

JasonR wrote:

I thought that would only apply when looking to sleep with a girl on that night, or going in for the approach.

I'm not sure, let me check with the grand council and see what the last ruling on the subject was.

I thought when you get a number, making them wait is the way to go, calling too quickly makes you look desperate.

Getting the number implies that you want something from her and that in and of itself is "looking desparate". From my experience and from those of my friends, making a girl wait does not do anything to increase attraction nor does it save the day if attraction is not there.

You need to work on attracting the girl and making sure that she *wants* to give you that number and making her want you to call. Then from there, she will be happy that you called soon and set up the date. Making a girl wait does not serve any purpose. I'm not saying that calling soon will save the day, I'm just saying that making a girl wait is irrelevant for attracting a woman. Whether you want casual sex or a relationship, it is irrelevant.

Ideally, no matter what your goal is (LTR or ONS or in between) you should extend the initial meeting into a "mini date" that ends with a kiss or sex or whatever. Girls give out their numbers for many reasons; sometimes just not being able to say "no". So don't place too much stock in numbers.

You mention looking desparate as something you want to avoid. What is the opposite of desparate? I don't even know. Be non desparate. That does not imply that you are too buisy to call; it means that you've got so many other things going on that you don't even think about this stuff. Call when it works for you and set up dates when they work for you. If you are truly only free in 8 days then call soon and set up a date for 8 days from now. But don't assume that waiting longer will make her more attracted.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[Austin Allegro]

Cesare is right. The number close should be presented as almost an afterthought, eg 'hey I've really enjoyed talking to you. Perhaps we'll have another chat sometime...oh, give me your number so I can get in touch at some point.'

If you haven't 'qualified' the lady it's likely she'll give you a number just to get rid of you, and she'll ignore you or flake when you call.

If this is all done right and the IL is high, there's nothing wrong with calling 2 days later. Any longer and you risk her forgetting about you/hooking up with other guys.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Why the fvck did you wait that long in the first place?

If I get a number I call within a day, the same night if it was at a club just to keep it fresh in mind and to show it was genuine.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

I agree, 1-2 days is fine. Besides, from what I have seen, most girls do know about this stupid "5 day waiting period".

Waiting a long time to call is a simple trick, and like any trick, the girls already know about it.

 

[JasonR]

well, we will see, wont we.

but calling within 2 days is needy and pathetic, and for the guy calling on the SAME night.

wow, that is about as needy as a human being can get.

you're saying this;


"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OH POWERFUL WOMAN, DO NOT FORGET ME, I DIDNT MAKE A GOOD ENOUGH IMPRESSION ON YOU WHEN I ASKED FOR YOUR NUMBER SO IM MAKING UP FOR IT BY PESTERING YOU ON THE PHONE!! P.S PLEASE REMEMBER ME!!"

 

[JasonR]

whereas, if this girl remembers me after 7 days, then her IL is high, if not, then her IL is low, and i wouldnt want to date a girl with a low IL.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Assuming you're not dealing with a chick who was mainly looking for a ONS, IMHO, how long you can wait to call depends on how much rapport you have built up with her. If it was in a club situation where you weren't able to make much conversation with her because of the noise, it's fine to call within 2 to 3 days.

I see no problem with waiting up to 7 days to call if you built up enough rapport with her.

When you make her wait, don't underestimate the increased interest that builds up when she spends her time thinking about you.

Finally, this discussion is covered very well in other posts:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=30497&perpage=20&pagenumber=1

Maximus_Decimus