Making A Girl Interested Through Text?

[mnk222]

Alright, so I've recently texted my female friend who i'm interested in asking out. I've known her for a couple years but we never hang out outside our group of friends and i've just started to text her. I texted her for about two days and I eventually ended the conversation with a text that she couldn't respond to. She texted me a few days later with an old picture of us that she "had just come across" and we talked for another couple of days until she didn't respond to another one of my texts. Now, this girl has always been very interested in spending time with me and i'm friends with one of her best friends. I'm wondering if texting her to start a conversation and then not responding randomly would make her wonder why I haven't texted back? I've already convinced her to meet me at a party later on in the week, but she's my friend so I have no clue if she is aware that I'm into her. Besides what I can do at the party, i'm looking for suggestions on how I can interest her through texting.

 

[DarkDetective50]

You've already failed. Rule number one: you can't make a girl interested through text. Text is for asking out.

 

[TheCWord]

You've already failed. Rule number one: you can't make a girl interested through text. Text is for asking out.

Yup. The rest of the replies are just going to be iterations of this, dude.

I'll add this: think about what you're asking for. You want to know if you can use a texting strategy to trick her into liking you.

Now, I agree that text game is a real thing - I fancy myself pretty good at it - but text game is more about just doing the little things right to preserve a frame that you are establishing in different ways.

One of those ways is to just ask her out. It saves so much time! She'll either go out with you or she won't. No overthinking texts, no strategizing, you get your answer right away, no wasting time, and as a bonus you've turned her on by taking charge and being a man.

 

[mnk222]

@DarkDetective50

Text is NOT for asking out. Text is for meeting up in person to "hang out." Which I managed to convince her to do. So, tell me how i've "failed"? Because she did decide to go find an old picture of us that I posted on Facebook a while back and text me completely on her own accord. I'm looking for legitimate advice on how to look unavailable to her so that i'm more valuable in her eyes, so any further answers should be descriptive and not assume random things. Thanks, not trying to be a hothead but there's always someone that comes on these kinds of boards just to be negative and who's answers are not based on any experience whatsoever. Not saying you don't have experience, but your answer was very brief.

@TheCWord

I agree, but I'm not one to ask a girl out through text. I prefer doing it in person so that she answers with her instinct and doesn't have ten minutes to rationalize the situation. I used to ask girls out through text, with success, but they've seemed less responsive to it as i've gotten older. They're just more interested in you when you ask them in person.

 

[Desdinova]

You've already failed. Rule number one: you can't make a girl interested through text. Text is for asking out.

I beg to differ. You certainly can, but texting her 5hit like "how's your day" or "the weather is nice" isn't going to get her juices flowing.

Here's where his problem lies:

I've known her for a couple years

If you're not already in the friend zone, you're probably close to it. She has likely already developed conclusions about you, and you're probably not on her "I'd like to fvck" list. You most likely have an uphill battle on your hands. If this is a girl you've known for a few weeks or even a couple of months and have had minimal contact with her, then texting could potentially work in your favor.

She's already avoiding responding to many of your texts, so the interest is most likely not there. You're better off meeting a new woman, and there are LOTS out there. Quit focusing on one that doesn't have any interest in you.

 

[TheCWord]

They're just more interested in you when you ask them in person.

They're either interested in you or they're not. Text. Phone call. Email. In person. Carrier pigeon. Whatever. She's open to the idea of f*cking you or she's not open to the idea of f*cking you.

You're a man and, as a man, you're busy. You've got sh*t to do. You want to find out if a prospective plate is interested in the most efficient way possible so that you don't waste your time. Waiting for the right moment is not a luxury a busy man has. If you ask her out over text and she says yes then that optimizes your in-person time because all the cards are on the table and you both know what's up. Waiting to be in person to ask her out just seems like wasting time that you could be using to escalate to horizontal mambo.

 

[mnk222]

@Desdinova

I agree with everything you said, but she's not exactly the type of girl that has sex all the time. She's had it once with a BF that she dated for a year so she's not really in the market for hookups. She's attractive, but she really doesn't have too many guys knocking on her door going to a religious college. She's avoided responding to texts that haven't really given her stuff to say back and honestly i'd rather have that than her saying "lol" back. I haven't asked her questions like that, i've always kept the conversation very light and sometimes flirty. She even wrote something like "I'm so sexy and you know it" to the picture of us we were talking about. I've only really gotten to know her this past year, she was always just someone that I used to go to school with before that. I do feel like i'm in an uphill battle, but it's definitely possible. If it doesn't work out, she'll still be my friend and I can move on.

 

[mnk222]

@TheCWord

True. I agree and I think it may be a possibility, but i'm not considering it my first choice when i'll be seeing her in person in a couple days anyway.

 

[sterlingarcher]

Text is NOT for asking out. Text is for meeting up in person to "hang out." Which I managed to convince her to do. So, tell me how i've "failed"? Because she did decide to go find an old picture of us that I posted on Facebook a while back and text me completely on her own accord. I'm looking for legitimate advice on how to look unavailable to her so that i'm more valuable in her eyes, so any further answers should be descriptive and not assume random things. Thanks, not trying to be a hothead but there's always someone that comes on these kinds of boards just to be negative and who's answers are not based on any experience whatsoever. Not saying you don't have experience, but your answer was very brief.

There's also always someone who comes in asking for advice one what they did wrong, and then gets defensive because they don't like what they hear. You sealed the deal with the hang out at this party and that should have been it. You said in your OP "we talked for another couple of days until she didn't respond to another one of my texts"...you shouldn't be talking for days over texting. You're over doing it.

You also said "but she's my friend so I have no clue if she is aware that I'm into her"...the more texting you do that's just idle chat, the more you're going to be viewed as just that friend that keeps her company when she's bored. Not the guy she f**ks.

You've set the date for the party; don't talk to her until then. If she contacts you, be nice, be cordial, engage her for a bit, but then end the convo.

 

[Desdinova]

she's not exactly the type of girl that has sex all the time

I laugh everytime I read the "she's not the type of girl" statement on this forum. When a woman is attracted to a man, she will fvck him regardless of how long she's known him.

She's avoided responding to texts that haven't really given her stuff to say back and honestly i'd rather have that than her saying "lol" back.

Women who are interested will make up excuses to text you.

I haven't asked her questions like that, i've always kept the conversation very light and sometimes flirty.

Light-hearted conversation is as interesting as reading directions for taking medicine. My text messages with women are 85% flirty, 10% business, and 5% chit-chat. Immersing her in fun conversation will associate fun with you. If you incorporate sex into your flirting, then she will see you as a sexual person. There's nothing sexy happening when you ask her "so how was your day?"

She even wrote something like "I'm so sexy and you know it" to the picture of us we were talking about.

That indicates nothing with regards to her interest in you. She was stroking her own ego and was hoping that you would stroke it too. Those are the text messages that you're supposed to ignore.

If it doesn't work out, she'll still be my friend

Do you enjoy having your prospects become "friends only"? I don't.

You're obviously a newbie here. Scroll down to the bottom, click on the link that says "DJ Bible" and READ READ READ.

 

[DarkDetective50]

Poor sap. I'm not even going to bother. Sometimes, you need to have your feelings crushed, burned and spit on by a woman to wake up. As they say, experience is the best teacher of all things.

Don't worry. Keep texting her. Keep being her "text buddy". You're doing great. Anytime she eggs you to tell her how sexy she is, do it. Don't forget to pedestalize her and rationalize why she isn't doing certain things you want, like why she isn't responding to a simple text. You're on the right track, buddy.

 

[mnk222]

@Desdinova

Light-hearted conversation is as interesting as reading directions for taking medicine. My text messages with women are 85% flirty, 10% business, and 5% chit-chat. Immersing her in fun conversation will associate fun with you. If you incorporate sex into your flirting, then she will see you as a sexual person. There's nothing sexy happening when you ask her "so how was your day?"

You weren't listening. I never asked her basic questions like that. Your speaking on the negative assumption that just because i'm asking people's opinions on here that this girl could never be interested in me. Good for you, i've had great success with texting in the past, but i'm only asking if there is a way to make this girl more interested through texting if I don't end up having success at the party I will see her at in a few days. I appreciate the response, but realize that not every girl responds the same to something a guy does.

I laugh everytime I read the "she's not the type of girl" statement on this forum. When a woman is attracted to a man, she will fvck him regardless of how long she's known him.

She's Catholic. I agree with what you're saying, but it's going to be a long while before this girl has sex with a guy that she is not dating for at least 4-5 months.


@sterlingarcher

We texted over "days" meaning she texted me late at night and I responded in the morning and she would respond after her classes for the day and so would I. We both have busy lives, it wasn't a conversation with ten minute responses from either side. I set the date of the party at the end of our conversations so I should be all set and that's probably why she ended the conversation. I was planning on ending it after the text I sent so I wasn't bothered by her ending it there.

 

[sterlingarcher]

@sterlingarcher

We texted over "days" meaning she texted me late at night and I responded in the morning and she would respond after her classes for the day and so would I. We both have busy lives, it wasn't a conversation with ten minute responses from either side. I set the date of the party at the end of our conversations so I should be all set and that's probably why she ended the conversation. I was planning on ending it after the text I sent so I wasn't bothered by her ending it there.

Yeah that's too much. You should text to set up the date, maybe flirt a little bit, and then that's the next time you talk to her...at the date.

And I understand you're on here looking for a way to make her more interested over texting, but the ironic thing is...to make her more interested through texting, you have to actually text LESS. I know it sounds backwards but that's just how it is. Mystery = interesting. You're not interesting if you're chatting over the course of days. You're not interesting if you respond to her every time to reaches out to you. You need to increase your value in her mind, and the way to do that is to be scarce. She needs to be under the impression that you're busy and your time is valuable.

 

[VladPatton]

The fact that you've know her for years and nothing happened between you two is grounds for leading me to believe you've been Friend Zoned a long time ago. The excessive texting cements this even further. That's my opinion.

Texting, awesome shoes, a rad car, massive pick up tactics, game, is all equal to zero if she doesn't find you bangable. You could show up in an F18 and she'd be no more enthused to suck your wang than yesterday when you showed up in a Prius. Unfortunately, there is a time constraint when asking a chick out. It happened to all of us, and it sucks a fat one! You really have to be in a "hey, you're cute, let's go out" mentality so you know where you stand, today, now, not drag it on for years and then pounce all of a sudden. It's too Jeckyl and Hyde-ish.

Right now, all this texting, forum masturbation, and over-thinking is most likely for nothing. You may very well creep her the fück out at this point by wanting to date her right now. But hey, give it a shot, the worst thing that can happen is she says no and you're done with her.

 

[Siragoos]

The fact that you've know her for years and nothing happened between you two is grounds for leading me to believe you've been Friend Zoned a long time ago. The excessive texting cements this even further. That's my opinion.

This actually brings up a really good question. What if you've known a chick for a couple years and you only texted and hung out a couple times in that span? Isn't hours spent together more important in terms of your fate with her than actual time passed?

 

[Desdinova]

You weren't listening. I never asked her basic questions like that. Your speaking on the negative assumption that just because i'm asking people's opinions on here that this girl could never be interested in me. Good for you, i've had great success with texting in the past, but i'm only asking if there is a way to make this girl more interested through texting

You're the one who's not listening. I've told you everything you've been doing wrong but still gave you information on how to do it. I even posted a link to an example on how to do it. FYI, it's now one month later and I'm still fvcking that chick. So now please tell me why I need to listen to you.

but realize that not every girl responds the same to something a guy does.

Then why do I keep successfully using the same 5hit over and over again? The things I did to flirt with that girl through texting? I did it to the last girl. And the one before. And the one before that. These are different women but because of their nature, they will react similarly to certain male traits and behaviors.

She's Catholic. I agree with what you're saying, but it's going to be a long while before this girl has sex with a guy that she is not dating for at least 4-5 months.

The last religious chick I fvcked gave it up on the first date. Hell, it wasn't even a date. I went out for drinks with her and brought her back home. I gave her one kiss on the cheek and she started ripping her clothes off. Just because a woman is religious, it doesn't mean that she's void of feeling intense sexual attraction in the early stages of a "relationship".

 

[buzzin_frog]

There has to be interest and attraction FIRST

Texting, talking, trying to go out with her won't add any interest if she doesn't have it already

you are just wasting your time trying to "build interest"....she either has it or doesn't.....trying to "build it" won't help you out any

Texting is used for escalation....not building interest

When she already has interest.....you use texting for escalation...which is getting her into bed the next time you see her.....if she has interest or attraction.....she will bang you!!

 

[nismo-4]

There has to be interest and attraction FIRST

Texting, talking, trying to go out with her won't add any interest if she doesn't have it already

you are just wasting your time trying to "build interest"....she either has it or doesn't.....trying to "build it" won't help you out any

Texting is used for escalation....not building interest

When she already has interest.....you use texting for escalation...which is getting her into bed the next time you see her.....if she has interest or attraction.....she will bang you!!

I love this dude's posts!

OP, your princess is in another castle. All she wants from you is attention while polishing Judge nismo's gavel. She won't want you sexually because you're just a friend. The interest is not there, you're trying to build interest with no tools. It's a lost cause. Go ghost and move on. She already did.

Case closed. Get out of my court so I can aim my blasts in her mouth and not my laptop.

 

[bukowski_merit]

As a person who endorses texting for building attraction/sexual tension - I do not endorse mindless texting and fluff talk. You need to figure out if she's interested sexually, which you really can't do because....

She's Catholic. I agree with what you're saying, but it's going to be a long while before this girl has sex with a guy that she is not dating for at least 4-5 months.

You have her on this fake "she's an angel" pedestal... I promise you that you don't know everything about her sexual history...

Every girl has secrets.... Some that they keep from male friends who they've had for years....

You're in a bad frame because of the purity you see in her; because of your belief in her words and history....

Even if she'd give you the time of day - your belief that she wouldn't lay you for 4-5 months would become reality. It would prevent you from doing what you have to do to explode the spark.

And by then - you'd be completely emasculated by her....


PS: Go to the party and have fun. Do not focus on making her fall for you or being with her all night. That's the worst thing you could do. Don't text her anymore; just wait... Let things play out...