Makes NO SENSE!

[SuSHI]

I met this girl at a party. We talked, had a fun convo, but thought she was into some other guy. So I went and hung out with others at the party the rest of the night.

2 days later, I meet a friend of the girl at the party, and her friend tells me she (party girl) likes me. I add the party girl to facebook, and ask her to hang out later in the week, and she agrees.

We meet and have drinks, have a great time. I do everything by the book, she leans forward the whole time, laughs throughout, everything was A-ok.
Even if I was not 100% in all my actions, I know that it was still a good date for her.

Next night, her friend(the one that told me party girl liked me) had a birthday party at this club, I was so tired from school and it was freezing out, none of my buds were going, so I decided to stay in (its a saturday night). I call party girl, and get her voicemail, and I proceed to tell her I cant make it, and that we should do something on monday, since that's the only day of the week that is going to be sunny.


I dont get a reply. The next day, I text her, asking how the party was, I get a reply "Ya it was fun". That's it.
So I text her: Did you get my message for monday.
She text back "Ya can't make it, have work all day that day".
That's all. So I text one last time saying, ok, and leave a friendly sorta goodbye, cause I felt it was the end of the convo. She doesn't reply.

Well, I think that's the most accurate that I can make that. As for her working all day, I don't even know if that is true. What do you think of this situation, where did I fvck up? My buds whom I told this story to, say it's cause I didn't go to the club and she was disappointed. But I really can't see how that could be.

Maybe she met some other d!ck at the club? At one point of the date, i was going in for a kiss, and I think she was ok with it, but it was in an environment that was really public and awkward, so it made me hesitate, and that caused her to hesitate, and she said its just the first date. But at the end of the outing she leaned in to give me a goodnight kiss, but no tongue : (

Thanks for reading, please give me your thoughts.
Sushi.

 

[L B]

Could be any of the above or none of the above. Hard to tell at this point. Just don't text her 3 times a day waiting for her response. If she likes you, she will reply sooner or later. In the meantime, enjoy life and meet more people so you don't have too much time on your hand to over think things.

 

[xdreamz]

"The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand."
Sun Tzu

 

[Kailex]

We meet and have drinks, have a great time. I do everything by the book, she leans forward the whole time, laughs throughout, everything was A-ok.
Even if I was not 100% in all my actions, I know that it was still a good date for her.

I think you need to elaborate on this date.
You're measuring IOI's, but the real question is, did you kino, did you try to kiss, did you take any risks at all?

What do you mean by not being 100% into all of your actions?

And how can you be so sure it was a good date for her?
You're not a mind reader. For all you know she could have given you all of the IOI's in the world and to her, you might not have taken it far enough.

What do you think of this situation, where did I fvck up? My buds whom I told this story to, say it's cause I didn't go to the club and she was disappointed. But I really can't see how that could be.

Had nothing to do with the club.
It could have started on the date. And I'm almost sure that that's where it happened, but I need details.

Maybe she met some other d!ck at the club? At one point of the date, i was going in for a kiss, and I think she was ok with it, but it was in an environment that was really public and awkward, so it made me hesitate, and that caused her to hesitate, and she said its just the first date. But at the end of the outing she leaned in to give me a goodnight kiss, but no tongue

Bingo.
You hesitated. This alone might have been it. But I think there is MORE to it. Forget about public and awkward. A man is confident EVERYWHERE and as soon as you let something like that get to you, you are transmitting YOUR feelings to HER. If you hesitate, she will. If you get nervous, she'll be nervous.
There must be more to this date, and I guarantee that's when it happened.

 

[DavenJuan]

i agree with kailex..

firsxt, it had nothing to do with the club. the "party girl" didnt even invite you, her friend did.

it sounds like something may have happened, or didnt happen during the date.

HESITATION - never a good thing brother. a confident person doesnt hesitate. he goes after WHATEVER it is he wants.

NOT 100% IN YOUR ACTIONS - what does this even mean? i assume that you didnt give your all..?? if you were at a job and you did half a$$ work, you wouldnt expect a raise would you?

TEXTING - even if the date wasnt perfect, im sure that the multiple texting was not a good thing. it wreaks of desperation. or atleast it is PERCIEVED that way IMO.

i am not a big fan of texting back and forth, unless it is subtle flirting going on. but as far as actually trying to set up a date its a no go for me.

my question to you is, if you liked her at the original party, why didnt you show interest? why were you so passive? this shows a lack of confidence, or again, it can be PERCEIVED this way.

 

[DonGorgon]

"The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand."
Sun Tzu

calculations or not its called "getting lucky" foR A REASON... its hard to do and you need alot of luck if you are not an alpha male that women chase..

 

[SuSHI]

bump

 

[SuSHI]

bump

 

[SuSHI]

I thought she was cool when I first met her at the party, but there was a musician there, that was talking to her after, so I moved on. I thought she was interested in him, and I was going to bother getting her interest. I went to talk to others. But that helped, cause she told her friend she liked me after.

What I meant about the date was, her interest level was high, right from the beginning of the date. She laughed a lot, and all that, and yeah I did Kino, alot, and she responded well. What I meant to say about the not doing everything 100%, was that it was great, but not perfect. I am still a human being, so I am sure that I have flaws. But compare this date to the others I had, I would rate it like a 90% in terms of how well we got along and stuff.

This is why I don't get her reaction.

I am thinking of contacting her friend (who told me that the girl at the party liked me), and asking her what is up in this situation. What do you think of that?

 

[Kailex]

But compare this date to the others I had, I would rate it like a 90% in terms of how well we got along and stuff.

This is why I don't get her reaction.

I am thinking of contacting her friend (who told me that the girl at the party liked me), and asking her what is up in this situation. What do you think of that?

You still don't get it. Just because YOU think it was better, in terms of how you got along, it doesn't mean that SHE enjoyed the whole date. Maybe she laughed the entire night, but the fact that you were hesitant about the kiss could have been a deal breaker for her. Sometimes it's something as simple as a moment that could ruin her mental image of you.

You don't have to GET her reaction, you just have to get her actions. Right now, her actions are saying she isn't interested in you, which means, time to move on.

Do NOT ask her friend about it. This comes across as needy and desperate. You already know what the verdict is, you DON'T need the explanation.

If she's not interested, she's not worth the trouble.

NEXT.

 

[Sandow]

Do not contact her friend! It's definitely game over if you do, she'll tell her right away after she talks to you.

You're right, her interest may have been high in the beginning. Otherwise she would not have agreed to go on a date with you. But something happened either during the date or after, that made her lose interest. I can't really tell from the lack of details, but I'm guessing it was something at the end of the date or the fact that you called her when she didn't even invite you. Girls are egocentric so any rejection they do not take lightly. In fact girls are super sensitive when it comes to this.

Lastly, and I really doubt this is the case but you never know...she may just be one of those really flaky girls. You know the girl that always busy, takes a few days to text back/call back. So maybe you didn't do anything at all(really doubt it) and you just have to stick it out until you get a reply. Only time will tell. If I were you, I would forget about this and just move on.

 

[john siegal]

A lot of BS remarks so far.

You didn't do anything wrong...women in their 20's are extremely flaky...be prepared for that.

Just drop in on one day at work (if she's in retail) or ask her for a lunch date and see what happens.

Suck it up Soldier.... you gotta be tough in this CRAZY world we live in...

:yes:

 

[GettinLuckyAintLuck]

maybe it's just me, but I dont text women back.....fu ck texting.. I've done it before and women get really crazy with texts I couldn't keep up and said to myself I'm never ever texting again...So now i'm the strictly phone calls guy, Either way, forget all the negativity, she is busy Monday, you had a good date.. that is all there is to it. Why not call her on the weekend and suggest something that day. Your problem is you care too much,too early, stop acting like this is the last girl with a pu s sy on this green earth. I think you've already asked around too much and spoiled your chances with her, dont ask her friend, that will be the nail in your coffin...

Sometimes girls will reject you, for the sake of rejection. For a girl to reject a guy who she knows obviously want's to "get" with her, it makes her pu s sy tighter in her mind, she feels a sense of accomplishment by not fawking u.... I dont really know if that makes sense but its true...if you want a girl who makes "sense", try dating a lesbian LOL