make the ho say no

[Metro3pilot]

why do people next after the second unreturned call ?

why not pursue untill she tells you to go away ?

do you have anything better to do, it only takes a minute to make a phone call...

your thoughts

 

[squirrels]

I'll usually call a girl a few times before I give up. It costs me nothing. But after a while, I just get bored with constantly getting excuses and drift off to other women/pursuits.

I had a spell recently where one "screw-up" by a woman was cause for dropping. But I really underachieved as a result and realized that a lot of that was ego-protection.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Women are notorious for not being able to say no to guys. They feel much more comfortable playing the avoidance game in hopes that the guy can take a hint.

 

[Vulpine]

Interest level. Plain and simple. One call, leave message, on to other business you go.

I was just jacking around with a chick online and got her number, made the call, left a message, and left it alone. Nothing further.

I hadn't heard back from her for a week, then today, an e-mail message. "Hello... How have you been?"

Now, knowing all that you know, what's the appropriate course of action now?

A. E-mail back?
B. Call her?
C. Do nothing.
D. Text?
E. Come to the forum and ask everyone's advice?

The correct answer is C. Do nothing. She has my phone number. If she was interested, she'd call back. If not, she's an attention wh0re who just wants a pen pal to chat with and kill time while at work (or just not interested and looking for some entertainment). Period.

There is an article about "the dramatic pause" where you ask a question and then shut up until you get the correct response. Chicks will back-peddle and start to change their answers in an attempt to qualify themselves to you. This is a similar scenario. By me not calling 2 or 3 times, I not only demonstrate that I'm not desperate, but she'll sit and wonder what I'm up to, why I don't talk to her, what she did wrong, whatever... she'll run the gamut of emotions on her own. Meanwhile, I'm wasting my phone calls with chicks that put out, don't play silly games, essentially spin the other plates. It will infuriate her to the core when she realizes that I might be straight-up rejecting her (which I probably am)... then she'll start chasing me: as it should be.

Then again, I don't tollerate disrespect. And, I categorize "not returning calls" as disrespect. Furthermore, I hate talking on the phone to begin with, so talking on the phone to an answering machine really fries my noodle.

Game-playing, crazy chicks are a dime a dozen. To waste more than 6 calories on them wondering "WTF?" is a shame. Women are not your priority, talking to women on the phone is not the basis of your happiness, chasing is a no-no, I can go on and on.

One call, leave a message, and get on with your life. Don't give the woman a second thought until she calls back. "Only takes a minute"? I could use that minute to call a woman with a higher IL.

Also, keep in mind that a woman will sometimes give you her phone number just to get you out of her face (as FD'A mentioned). Which is why many advocate on-the-spot escalation versus getting a phone number and bailing.

 

[Metro3pilot]

some I chase, some I don't ... my point is if you're not attatched to the outcome then why not chase ? ? ego protection ?
this was more directed towards a chick that goes from hot to cold ..not a cold approach

I understand if you have so many plates spinning you really dont have time ...but lets face it fellas if you got time to come to sosuave you got time

a plate is a plate no ?

now obviously if you have oneitis ....throw it away

 

[kyphan]

If a girl refuses to return your phone calls, why on earth are you going to pursue her? If your answer is "because I have time to call again" then you need to find more to do (enrich your own life) and more women to spend your time with.

 

[Metro3pilot]

you got that right ...I have way too much time on my hands ! ! !

:nono:

 

[Bible_Belt]

make the ho say no generally refers to trying to kiss her and escalate to the physical, not being a pest with repeated phone calls.

 

[Latinoman]

I don't waste my time. Simple as that.

 

[Vulpine]

I understand if you have so many plates spinning you really dont have time ...but lets face it fellas if you got time to come to sosuave you got time

My computer at home doesn't have internet and I don't have cable. Those are things I honestly don't have time for. I'm at work when I post here, getting paid. So actually, I get paid to post here. It works out pretty well that way for me, because, after work... no, I don't have time.

Besides, if I did have time to come here outside of work, it sure as hell wouldn't be any priority over the 500 other things I could come up with to fill the time.

It's not necessarily "so many plates spinning" so much as it is hobbies, weightlifting, and other things filling my life (in addition to plates). So that being said, to even bother to waste time on the 2nd or 3rd phone call is not only a waste, but disrespecting myself. Actions speak louder than words, and not returning a phone call speaks pretty loudly.

Metro3pilot, turn it around and look at it from the other perspective. If you have time to make a phone call (or 2 or 3), than the woman has the time to return it. Right? To make a phone call only takes a minute, remember? So, why didn't SHE? She's not interested, rude, too busy, whatever... it's none of my concern after I call once. I'm not going to break my neck to make myself look like an idiot groveling at an uninterested woman's feet.

So, maybe that's just my style. You can do what you want. The way I see it, if she's going to play hard to get games and screw around wasting my time, she's not worth my effort anyway. I'm much too old to be playing high school girl games. Then again, maybe I'm missing a lot of opportunities because I don't call more than once. Who knows? And really, who cares? I've got other plates, so it matters not.

 

[Cableguy]

Excellent Vulpine. That's exactly the way I see it. Returning a phone call takes only a minute or two so I've adopted the "only call once" policy and am sticking to it. I've been on a hot streak as of late and damn that makes it soo much easier. I ran into a girl over the weekend that I had called and never heard back from. It honestly shocked me because she had been all over me at the club. She asked why I didn't try calling her again and I told her I'm too busy to waste my time calling women who don't call me back. Almost immediately her IL shot through the roof and she went home with me that night. IMHO not calling a woman more than once (twice under certain circumstances) goes hand in hand with projecting the image of value. A busy, desirable man simply doesn't have the time nor patience for flaky birds.

 

[Nelford]

I call a girl 3 different time in one day from different phone numbers and if I don't get her, I move on to the next. I don't leave messages either, I have lots of female friends and I see what they do with messages from guys.

 

[Downlow]

Of course, Gunwitch's method would likely not be be exercised in the work environment.

hahah! That's hilarious - the thought of trying GWM at work!
I also agree with Maximus Decimus, I definitely don't think Gunwitch would advocate hounding a girl with phonecalls. In fact, I don't think he advocates calling them at all, he says that you should "make the ho say no" at the first encounter. :rockon:

 

[Qjay]

If you positively have to call back many times, send her a number page, it's an option on most voicemails.
If she doesn't respond, then it really might be time to move on.

Vulpine made a point that is really good: Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing.

 

[Charm]

Why not leave a message? What exactly do they do? I used to never leave messages and now I do when I want to let them know I called. Simple as that. They might not call back but at least theyll hear what you had to say.

I call a girl 3 different time in one day from different phone numbers and if I don't get her, I move on to the next. I don't leave messages either, I have lots of female friends and I see what they do with messages from guys.

 

[AgonyUncle]

Vulpine, what you say rings so true. The way I look at it, it would be common courtesy to return a phone a call. If they are not returning your calls, they are generally not that interested.

However, what about women that like to be pursued? I know there are limits to this, but sometimes I feel that the extra call is needed. Im not talking about the attention seekers and drama queens looking for an ego boost. I have the two call rule, dependent on my interest level. If I like the bird, Ill leave a second message on her phone. If there is no response after that, I move on.