Make a girl who cheated on you feel guilty?

[SuSHI]

Hey guys, i haven't been back to this site in years.

Many things have changed so far, anywho...
I was with this girl, loved her to death, she did too. Than things got fvcked up with her parents and I, and they forbid me to see her. But we saw each other secretly, and months down the road affter this, we agree to not take it too seriously, but still to stay together.

And she cheated on me, by letting this guy (who I knew and respected), hold her throughout this whole concert set when she went with her friends. This is like gf-bf holding, not friendly sh!t.

Anyways she apolagized perfusly, and I understood. But after we stop seeing each other, i start getting these angry feelings, and I really want her to feel guilty, and I was thinking of making my feelings known to her. I don't know why, i just feel I have to not let her walk away thinking that she has closure on the issue, even though I do accept her apology.

see, we ended things on a good note and everything, but i still want her to feel guilty.

 

[Desdinova]

I don't know why, i just feel I have to not let her walk away thinking that she has closure on the issue, even though I do accept her apology.

The best way to make her feel guilty is to NOT accept her apology. She knew she fvcked up by apologizing perfusely. Now, I need to ask WHY did you accept her apology? By doing that, you have let her know it's okay that she cheated on you, and it obviously isn't according to your post.

Instead of trying to invoke more guilt upon her (which is quite impossible at this point), just move on. Dwelling on the past will prevent you from moving ahead with your life.

 

[Wee]

Don't even worry about it dude, move on. No need to be childish and insecure, forget her - her missing out on you should be good enough punishment.

 

[Rebound Material]

I don't know why, i just feel I have to not let her walk away thinking that she has closure on the issue, even though I do accept her apology.

see, we ended things on a good note and everything, but i still want her to feel guilty.

i feel you on this one...its like at that time, you were understanding, but it wasnt until later you realized that you got skrewed and she got off too easily right?...im one vengeful muthafcuka and I say YOU GET BACK AT HER!...but do it so that it isnt obvious...

 

[bossdog]

why are you trying to make her feel guilty. you need to do some serious thought about who you are and what your goals are in life. Your blowing this sitiuation waaay out of context.

She cheated on you so what. stop crying and move on. I dont advocate making girls feel guilty for doing something they chose to do. especially when they aren't married. She is a slut. thats what she does.

 

[Krassus]

Understand something: EVERYTHING you do to people is INSTANTLY reflected back onto yourself. You know how if you make a girl smile, or do something good for the old lady across the street, you'll feel good? In the same exact manner, if you hurt her, make her feel guilty, etc, you'll only do the SAME to yourself. It's like shooting someone and having the bullet ricochet and hit you instead. Don't do it. Forgive her and just let it go.

 

[SuSHI]

Yeah, well she is a sweet girl, and she did apopogize alot, and Its not like i haven't done anything bad to her in the past (She found a pic of my ex gf in my wallet, it was there before i even was with her and i forgot about it, and she still let me off, well eventually, but that was the beginning of the deterriation of our relationship) and she let me off on it. Its just, I don't want her entering her next relationship with a completely clean conscience, i know that sounds horrible, but man i fvcking loved this girl off. She almost fit the description of my ideal gf before all this **** happened. I mean that seriously, and i had a couple of gfs before this one. And i just felt so betrayed

 

[Krassus]

Its just, I don't want her entering her next relationship with a completely clean conscience

Bud, that's pretty fvcked up... don't get small and bitter like that. If it makes you feel any better, i'm sure she feels guilty enough as it is - chicks are emotional creatures and suffer from these things much more intensely than guys do. On top of that, if you do something, anything, to purposely make her feel like sh1t, you'll not only do the same to yourself, but alleviate her guilt at the same time - she'll see you as a selfish a$$hole, and its pretty hard to feel bad for cheating on someone like that. And you know what, i'd agree with her 100%. If you wanna be treated better than that in the future, be better than that now. Now you sow, tomorrow you'll reap. If you sow what you're asking advice on sowing today, imagine what you'll reap tomorrow! You feel bad because you thought she was the perfect girlfriend? Well guess what, she cheated on you, so she's pretty damn far from perfect now, isn't she? Worlds apart, correct? So there. She's guilty, you're free, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Wake up kid, The Matrix has you - hors have no guilt!!!!!!

 

[Delta]

your reaction is COMPLETELY natural... to forgive initially and then the severity of the wound starts hurting and then you want fvcking vengeance, you want her to pay, you want it to fvck up her life as much as it fvcked yours up, that she suffers as she's made you suffer.

everyone here advocating forgiveness is telling you right and true... but it's idealistic too and does not give VALIDITY to your emotions.

and THEY ARE VALID. go to any guy or girl who was dumped and destroyed and ask them if they didn't wish death, mutilation, damnation and destruction on their ex.

it is natural.

having said that, some PRAGMATIC ISSUES:

1. krass is right, if you try to make her feel bad by going off on her, you take away her deserved guilt with hate for you. the greatest curse you can bring down on her is to leave on good terms. she'll have to live with the stain that she hurt a guy that never did her wrong. karma, i think, has several psychological mechanisms such that it is valid even for people who are unspiritual... she'll get hers.

2. think about your best case scenario - you make her feel so bad that her life falls apart and she is left with nothing but a debilitating shame of how awful she is. do you really want that?

3. you're on the right track. EVERYBODY fvcks up. you fvck up. you'll fvck up again. to hold something against someone ends up reflecting back to you because your mind will try to remain internally consistent and not allow you to cut yourself a break when you fvck up. i feel like this is the psychological reasoning behind the command "do not judge lest you be judged"... you end up judging YOURSELF as you judge others.

4. what's done is done. nothing you do now will really undo anything. move on. it is a waste of life and energy to focus on something that cannot be changed! seriously, time is ticking by even now and a minute you devote here is a minute taken away from a new love or a new skill to learn or even enjoyment and pleasure to be had. go forward to your life. it's waiting for you.

i'm sorry for your pain. rest assured you're not alone. now come on... get going and move ahead.

delta

 

[SuSHI]

Thanks guys, wow this place is a lot more supportive then i remembered back in the days. And yeah, when she found that picture of my ex in my wallet, she was mad, but she never did anything horrible to get back at me. Except for the fact taht she didn't believe me and hated my on the inside for it until i finally convinced her of the truth.

The way i was gonna make her feel bad was when we would talk from time to time (rarely, but when we do), I will show her how sad and frustrated i am indirectly when ever she brings up the good times we had together. That would be the most i would do to her, as in i wouldn't act like someone who has forvigen her, and knowing her that would fvck with her.

But i like what you guys have said so far, krausus and delta especially.

 

[KillaCam]

Walk away. Move on. It's pretty simple.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

Hey guys, i haven't been back to this site in years.

Many things have changed so far, anywho...
I was with this girl, loved her to death, she did too. Than things got fvcked up with her parents and I, and they forbid me to see her. But we saw each other secretly, and months down the road affter this, we agree to not take it too seriously, but still to stay together.

And she cheated on me, by letting this guy (who I knew and respected), hold her throughout this whole concert set when she went with her friends. This is like gf-bf holding, not friendly sh!t.

Anyways she apolagized perfusly, and I understood. But after we stop seeing each other, i start getting these angry feelings, and I really want her to feel guilty, and I was thinking of making my feelings known to her. I don't know why, i just feel I have to not let her walk away thinking that she has closure on the issue, even though I do accept her apology.

see, we ended things on a good note and everything, but i still want her to feel guilty.

WHAT THE F*** is WRONG WITH YOU??? You think making this little girl feel guilty is going to make you feel prouder as a man? you are PATHETIC.

 

[skip2mylou781]

reallyfreakinlost = dreamxhenry due to no quality replies to any threads, and due to complete stupidity in every single reply

onto the thread - she was held by the guy?? while u and her werent "taking it too seriously"? im sorry, but thats NOT cheating, if anything, maybe she loved u so much that she apologized and felt bad for EVEN BEING HELD and that only makes her sound sweeter and more loving, its like her telling u everything she did and keeping u up to date on all the little things

they didnt kiss, she didnt cheat, she felt bad anyway just cuz another guy TOUCHED HER

dont let her go, ITS NOT CHEATING WAT SHE DID

 

[SuSHI]

reallyfreakinlost = dreamxhenry due to no quality replies to any threads, and due to complete stupidity in every single reply

onto the thread - she was held by the guy?? while u and her werent "taking it too seriously"? im sorry, but thats NOT cheating, if anything, maybe she loved u so much that she apologized and felt bad for EVEN BEING HELD and that only makes her sound sweeter and more loving, its like her telling u everything she did and keeping u up to date on all the little things

they didnt kiss, she didnt cheat, she felt bad anyway just cuz another guy TOUCHED HER

dont let her go, ITS NOT CHEATING WAT SHE DID

I would agree with you there if she was jsut another girl. But she wasn't, i mean her and i were really fvcking close. And when she did it, she knew what she was doing, and how i would see it, so yeah i do feel betrayed. But you are right in some ways, and thats why i did try to forgive her.

Actaully we have this really cheesy agreement, you guys will prolly see me as a pvssy for doing it, but just call me sentimental. But her and I picked 1 day of each year we would meet up at a place in toronto, and we wouldn't call each other up beforehand, jsut show up on that day, and just hangout for the whole day. As friends.

And yes, if you're thinking which day taht would be, than you prolly know already. And that day is long from now, so i hope i would get over this and have moved on enough to show up guilt free and normal. Thats how close we were, even after a break up, we would still keep this up.

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

reallyfreakinlost = dreamxhenry due to no quality replies to any threads, and due to complete stupidity in every single reply

I'm assuming dreamxhenry is a girl... I think I am way more masculine than you, and I don't show it by trying to hurt girls, that's just what weaklings like you do.

As far as the stupidity, yes I have a sense of humor that is very difficult to grasp, and I may be stupid, but I guess trying to lighten up the mood around here isn't allowed? I guess people like you want to keep everything dull. Well, that's not surprising... I'm sure your sex life, your social life, your inner life (you probably don't know what an inner life is) are all DULL. Have a nice day, and thank you for calling me stupid, because I'm glad that made you feel like the smart genius you are.

 

[Tomatoes]

Instead of trying to invoke more guilt upon her (which is quite impossible at this point), just move on. Dwelling on the past will prevent you from moving ahead with your life.

I agreed with Desdinova


Sarge On!

 

[reyalp]

Desdinova's right.

Let's break it down a little more.

You want X
If something is not X, get rid of it and don't look back.

Simple enough.

 

[skip2mylou781]

if she didnt kiss the guy and all he did is hold her, quite possibly like an AFC whos just holding a girl and not even trying to make a move, then how did she cheat???

she may have created guilt inside herself outta nowhere, if u were IN LOVE with this girl, this is NOT somethin to lose her over